Now Is The Time For More Coaching

For many leaders who are overwhelmed by the never ending COVID-19 situation, coaching has mostly defaulted to two main actions, namely telling people what they should have done and attempting to fix their problems. The result is a weakening of the supervisory relationship and the possibility of creating active disengagement by the employee. 

I understand why a leader would be choosing to act in this manner. He or she has reached their limit of how much chaos they can tolerate around them so their goal is to reduce disequilibrium and restore a degree of control, predictability and order in their circle of influence. However, the price of this choice is quite high because the person being coached can perceive these actions by their supervisor as signaling that they do not matter and that their job does not matter. As Patrick Lencioni points out in his book, The Truth About Employee Engagement: A Fable About Addressing the Three Root Causes of Job Misery, formerly The Three Signs of a Miserable Job: A Fable for Managers (and their employees) (Jossey-Bass 2007): “people want to managed as people, not as mere workers.”

When successful coaching takes place, a leader will focus on two categories, namely skills and knowledge based coaching or mindset based coaching which directly impacts their willingness and commitment levels as an employee to move forward through a challenging situation. Yet, upon significant reflection, I have observed that the best coaching happens when the person being coached feels the support of their supervisor and when the supervisor helps the person being coached put things back into perspective and subsequently understanding. Many times this act of support and realignment of perspective by the coach involves a tremendous amount of concentrated listening with the goal to create an in-depth understanding of how the person struggling comprehends what is happening around and within them.  

The other part of this successful coaching process involves listening and giving feedback rather than constructive criticism. However, we as leaders and coaches need to remember that right now people have a limited bandwidth for receiving feedback. Most employees are barely coping with the amount of on-going disruption and chaos in their work and home lives. They are are doing their best in a COVID-19 centric world and feeling exhausted by the constant lack of structure and normalcy in their day to day lives.

During this global pandemic, the best coaches I have visited with by phone understand one small but significant fact about coaching people. It all begins with the building and maintaining of trust. In the May-June 2020 issue of the Harvard Business Review, Frances Frei and Anne Morriss wrote an exceptional article called “Begin With Trust: The first step to becoming a genuinely empowering leader.” As Frei and Morriss explain, “In our experience, trust has three drivers: authenticity, logic, and empathy. People tend to trust you when they believe they are interacting with the real you (authenticity), when they have faith in your judgement and competence (logic), and when they feel that you care about them (empathy). When trust is lost, it can almost always be traced to a breakdown in one of these three drivers.” The article points out a variety of strategies if you are experiencing problems in any one of the three drivers of trust.

At the same time, Frei and Morriss also point out one more important thing about trust. As they write, “We’ve argued that the foundation of empowerment leadership is getting other people to trust you. That’s certainly true, but there’s one last thing you need to know. The path to empowerment leadership doesn’t begin when other people start to trust you. It begins when you start to trust yourself.” 

This is a major insight into great leadership and empowerment. And the best leaders recognize that the pathway to trusting one’s self is to have a variety of allies and confidants who can hear you, help you, and ask you thought-provoking questions so you are constantly creating a greater depth of internal clarity and understanding. When we as leaders want to unleash the creativity, talent and commitment to learning and subsequent action within our companies, then building trust at all levels of the organizations begins with creating a greater level of internal clarity and integrity.

I encourage all of you to read the above article during the coming days. I also encourage you to coach more, be more supportive and to be open to being coached more. With all that is before us right now, we need allies and we need confidants as we process our own thoughts, feelings and struggles during these most unique times.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Building and maintaining healthy relationships is the foundation to successful change.

Over and over, people visit with me about the world of change. They struggle with it. They feel overwhelmed by it. And they feel confused by it.

Some authors suggest we need to suck it up and just get on board with change. Others tell us to focus on the results and the metrics. Finally, there are some authors who tell us that change is the constant and that it is normal to struggle.

I have listened to all of it, and I have watched the rise and passing of many best-seller books about the subject. Each in their own way has offered interesting tools and perspectives about how to lead, manage and move through this complicated and complex world of change.

For me, I always come back to the following perspective: Make friends before you need them. After decades and decades of working with people and companies, I have come to the conclusion that when we as leaders and as people build and maintain healthy relationships with others, successful change takes place.

Successful does not mean it will not be hard and challenging. Successful does not mean it will be less complicated or complex. Successful means, in the end, that when people support each other in healthy ways, they have the capacity to rise to their challenges, process the difficulties, and ultimately make a difference in spite of their challenges.  

When we feel cared for, respected and supported, we realize that we are stronger than we thought. And when this happens within the context of a team, a family or a community, we can walk through the trough of chaos, a sideways cyclone, the valley of bewilderment, or a pit of despair and come out on the other side stronger and more determined than ever. 

Just remember that best-seller books come and they go. People, however, who build and maintain a circle of support and perspective around themselves plus have a guiding purpose, can be the constant in the world of change. They can be the difference that is needed in the world and in the lives of others.

This week, spend time building new and meaningful relationships with people. And take care of the relationships you already have. Then, when push becomes shove in the world of change, you will have all you need to make it through to the next opportunity.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Look at the Bigger Picture

In January through early April of this year, I shared with all of you on a weekly basis about working thought the trough of chaos during interesting times. Then throughout the rest of the spring, I covered the many topics that we explored at the Spring 2018 From Vision to Action Executive Roundtable. For example, I shared about the connection between organizational history, culture and meaningful work within successful organizations, how to improve thinking within an organization, and how leaders can be both brave and bold during difficult times. In July, August and early September, I wrote weekly about the lessons I’ve learned from the countless hours of visiting with great leaders. And finally this fall, I shared with all of you what we explored during the Fall 2018 From Vision to Action Executive Roundtable. The focus this year was on building, maintaining, and improving teams during the digital era. And now, we come to the last full week before Christmas, Kwanzaa and then New Year’s Eve. 

In a world filled with challenges, complexities and problems, we, as leaders, can become overwhelmed, worried, numb, and burned out. We also can become cynical about the future and our ability to adapt to the new and emerging challenges and problems around the world. We could just give up and choose not to lead. But I strongly discourage us from falling into this mindset.

Instead, I encourage each of us to remember four things. First, organizational change is the sum of individual change. Therefore, we must commit to on-going personal and professional development. As Gandhi said so many years ago, “we must be the change we wish to see in the world.”

Second, we must create “islands of sanity”, referencing a term from the work of Margaret Wheatley. We must create safe and empowering spaces at home and at work where people can do the deep personal and professional work of becoming better people and better partners with colleagues throughout the company, and the world.

Third, this is the season when we must come together and rediscover what unites us rather than what divides us. We must focus on finding and rekindling inside ourselves and others a sense of higher purpose to our lives and to our work. We must build the bonds which will hold and support us through our challenges. We can not let others stand alone to face the difficulties of this time.

And finally, we must give the gift of love, support and respect this season to all we meet. By this act alone, we will transform the big picture and create a place were people will feel like their life is meaningful and special.

May this holiday season be the beginning of many special moments of connection and joy for you and yours. Thanks for including me in this important work, and I look forward to being back in touch with all of you on Monday, January 7, 2019.

Warm wishes and happy holidays to each of you!

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

The Importance of Experience

Recently, a friend shared that he had learned that you can not teach people experience. The minute I heard this line it was a “blinding flash of the obvious,” quoting an old Tom Peters’ phrase. 

So many times when coaching executives, I have have listened to someone complain  that a particular person just does not “get it.” When I step back from the actual problem we are discussing and think about the person in question, I realize that they can not “get it” because they have never experienced “it” before. As Margaret Wheatley wrote so many years ago, when confronted with an unknown, we default to a known. Our challenges as leaders is to realize that the defaults that most people have are completely based on their experiences, positive and negative. Furthermore, most people are doing the best they can given the experiences they’ve had.

So, what can we as leaders do?

Recognizing the truth that we can not teach experience, we, as leaders, can tell stories and lessons learned from our own experiences. By offering perspective, we open up the possibility for all involved to gain some new perspectives or some fresh insights into the challenges before them.

Next, we can create a safe and supportive learning environment around an individual as they go through a first time experience. By surrounding them with the right tools, support and information, they can step forward with confidence, knowing that we will be there on the other side to unpack the experience and help them find meaning and greater understanding from the experience.

Finally, we can be the kind of leaders who role model smart thinking and smart choices as we go through our own first time experiences. While we can not teach experience, we can be the kind of person who embraces them and learns from them every step of the way.

As you move through the rest of this year and into 2019, I encourage you to share your stories and lessons learned, to create safe and supportive learning and working environments, and to role model the value of continued learning from new experiences.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Expand Your Circle

We were sitting together over lunch, exploring why the senior team was not working well as a team, when I asked him the following question: “So, when I am not visiting from out of town, who do you turn to for perspective on these issues?”

He stopped eating and turned to me, saying “What do you mean?”

“Well,” I responded, “who are the people you turn to for assistance when you struggle?”

“Mostly myself,” he replied.

“That works to a point,” I explained, “but sometimes we do not always see things clearly. Remember the old adage, ‘the fish will never discover the ocean.’ You need a circle of people who will help you ‘discover the ocean’, for lack of a better metaphor.”

“Interesting. Do you have people who do this for you?”

“Definitely. I call them my Kitchen Table Cabinet. They are a collection of people from different backgrounds with whom I have breakfast, coffee, lunch, or dinner with on a regular basis. They help me see the bigger picture. They ask me questions that I am not asking myself. They ask me questions about things I am not even thinking about at this time period. They share insights and lessons learned. They share. I share. We explore, and as a result, I am able to do this work better. So, who should be a part of your Kitchen Table Cabinet?”

What followed was a 30 minute exploration into who are the key people in his life who he could turn to for insights and perspectives. I encouraged him to schedule time with these people on a regular basis.

Six months later, when I was back in town, to facilitate a strategic review, he gathered this small group of people around a table at the same restaurant where I had asked him the question. He shared what he needed from the group and how often he would like us to gather. Everyone listened respectfully and agreed to support him through his current challenges.

While driving me back to the hotel where I was staying overnight, he paused at a red light and said, “That was a good beginning. I am glad I gathered everyone together. Now my challenge is two fold. First, I need to stay in touch with all of you on a regular basis. Second, I need to expand that circle. They are like a corporate board where one is constantly recruiting new members given the changes in the external strategic landscape.”

As the light turned green, I smiled and said, “Yes. You got it.”

We drove in silence for about a mile and then he said, “Thanks. That was a good question six months ago.”

“My pleasure,” I responded. “It’s why I am part of your Kitchen Table Cabinet.”

This week, figure out who should be a part of your Kitchen Table Cabinet. And then, visit with each of them on a regular. Building and maintaining perspective is very important in the world of leadership given all that is happening in the big world at this time period.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Living and Working In Prolonged Uncertainty

We live, work and lead now in a world of hyper speed, connectivity and vigilance, which often results in constant interruptions, reactive leadership, and even organizational paralysis. 

Every week now I hear leaders tell me during executive coaching sessions that “the whole world is just a mess.” And privately, they haven’t a clue of what to do next or where to go in order to fix it.

I remind them that when people, teams and even organizations are outside their comfort zone and feeling like the world around them is in chaos, they need three things, namely support, perspective and a safety zone to dialogue

While being a senior leader can be lonely, one does not have to choose to be alone.  This is why many leaders come to the From Vision to Action Executive Roundtables.  Twice a year, leaders from a wide variety of organizations come together to share their challenges, their solutions and lessons learned. It is a place for in-depth listening and dialogue, a time to step back from daily operational pressures and to comprehend the large and more strategic implications of all that is happening around us. As previous participants have shared with me, “the Roundtable is a place where I can pause, and catch my breath given the pace of change.”

The Spring 2014 From Vision to Action Executive Roundtable is on on April 9-10, 2014 at the Courtyard By Marriott in Des Moines/Clive, Iowa

Here is the agenda for your review:

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

8:30 am - Registration

9:00 am - 10:15 am - Feeling Lost In Prolonged Uncertainty

10:15 am - 10:30 am - Break

10:30 am - 12:00 pm - Rethinking The Maps We Use

12:00 pm - 1:30 pm - Lunch and Networking 

1:30 pm - 2:45 pm - Navigating the World of Excellence

2:45 pm - 3:00 pm - Break

3:00 pm - 4:30 pm - Building Bridges In the Midst of Complexity

4:30 pm - Adjourn

Thursday, April 10, 2014

9:00 am - 10:15 am - Staying Centered in the Midst of Constant Interruptions 

10:15 am - 10:30 am - Break 

10:30 am - 12:00 pm - Integration and Application

12:00 pm - Adjourn

If you are interested in coming, here is the link for more information and the registration form:

http://www.chartyourpath.com/pdf/2014-From-Vision-To-Action-Exec-Roundtable-Regist.pdf

For all who are coming, I recommend you read the following article: “Lost And Found In A Brave New World” by Margaret Wheatley from Leader to Leader magazine, No. 68, Spring 2013. Here is the link:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/a7b5e7_1980e72c748b408f9dac5ccadb4687ec.pdf

It may be a messy world with a tremendous amount of chaos, but with support, perspective and a safety zone to dialogue, we can move forward. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257