Listen To Your Inner Voice - part #2

A Clearness Network

Once we grasp that we are in constant evolution, we will need a mirror, a window, a sanctuary, and a clearness network in order to listen better to our inner voice. Jim Collins in his book, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap. . . and Others Don't (HarperBusiness, 2001), writes that the best leaders “look out the window to attribute success to factors other than themselves. When things go poorly, however, they look in the mirror and blame themselves, taking full responsibility.” On the other hand, poor quality leaders “looked in the mirror to take credit for success, but out the window to assign blame for disappointing results.” The combination of the two, namely a metaphorical window and mirror, create the capacity for self-inquiry and self understanding. 

Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky in their book, Leadership On The Line: Staying Alive through the Dangers of Leading (Harvard Business School Press, 2002), write that leaders need to “distinguish role from self,” and understand that “you have control over your self-worth.” As part of this level of work, they encourage leaders to “seek sanctuary…. a place of reflection and renewal where you can listen to yourself away from the dance floor and the blare of the music.” For them, the dance floor and the blare of the music are their metaphors for the busy nature of our day to day activities. 

I agree with these authors about the importance of a mirror, a window, and a sanctuary. Each can play a role in clarifying our thoughts, perspectives, and understanding about ourselves and our lives. From my experience, I would add one more element, namely a clearness network. 

In the Quaker tradition, there is something called a clearness committee. As Parker Palmer with the Center for Courage & Renewal writes, “The function of the clearness committee is not to give advice or fix people from the outside but rather to help people remove the interference so that they can discover their own inner wisdom.” These committees are the gathering of a trusted group of people, e.g. advisors, friends and family members. This communal approach to discernment “protects individual identity and integrity while while drawing on the wisdom of other people.”

I call my clearness network, my Kitchen Table Cabinet. They are a group of trusted friends and experienced professionals I turn to in order to gain fresh insights, and thoughtful perspectives on a diversity of issues. In particular, I have learned over time that this group will ask me questions that I had not thought to ask myself and they will ask me questions that stop me in my tracks and make me think deeply about something from various angles. I invest regular time and energy in maintaining and cultivating these relationships. I visit with them a couple of times each month because I understand that the depth of sharing is a two way street. I need to be present to them as much they are present to me. 

Ron Heifetz, Alexander Grashow, and Marty Linsky in their book,. The Practice of Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World (Harvard Business Press, 2009), note that in order to thrive as a leader, an individual needs to grow “your own personal network outside of the system you are trying to change.” We need to “talk regularly with confidants, people outside the environment in which you are trying to lead adaptive change, who are invested in you, not the issues you are addressing.” When you “anchor yourself in multiple communities,” you can adapt and be resilient on various levels. I think the same can be said of anyone, whether or not they are a leader or a manager.  With a clearness network, one is well prepared for today and the future. One can not easily build such a network in the midst of major life challenges. It is always best to be prepared rather than trying to prepare when difficulties arise. 

Find Your Outer Voice 

As we listen to our inner voice, understand our inner dialogue, and engage regularly with a clearness network, we also need to find our outer voice. Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, wrote another book called The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness (Free Press, 2004). The 8th habit focused on finding your voice and inspiring others to find theirs.” Covey defined the voice as a “unique personal significance…. it is the nexus of talent, passion, need and conscience (that still small voice within that assures you of what is right and that prompts you to actually do it).” I like how Covey connects listening to the inner voice and finding your outer voice. I appreciate that he understood that the two elements were each influencing the other. 

There is one part that I wish Covey would have written more about when it comes to the transition from listening to “that still small voice within” to speaking our truth with our outer voice, namely the importance of speaking within safe and respectful spaces. While every one has the potential to speak up, many do not because the environment within which they want to share is not safe or respectful. Therefore, silence is chosen in order to not become a target of violence or harassment. 

However, if we understand the importance of creating and maintaining safe and respectful spaces, then we must understand the importance of inclusiveness, namely the recognition that we must never create an environment where people need to hide their true identities or attempt to fit in. This can happen when we realize that each of us belongs just the way we are. This happens when we understand that each of us are unique. When a home or work environment is based on non-violence, unconditional and loving kindness, plus compassionate acceptance, we are then able to listen inwardly and speak our truth outwardly in a positive and productive manner. 

Go Forth Into The Unknown

“How do geese know when to fly to the south?,” writes  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. “Who tells them the seasons? How do we humans know when it is time to move on? As with migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown.”

Given the importance of authenticity in life and in work, each of us must listen to the voice within. When we choose to actively engage in this inner dialogue, we understand that centering and holding the quiet is the first step to listening. Next, we realize that we are constantly evolving. Our best self today is going to change. And so too will our inner voice. To help us in this inner listening process, we need a mirror, a window, and a sanctuary. We also need a clearness network of confidants who ask us important questions and share thoughtful insights. Finally, we need to take what we hear on the inside and, when possible, share our clarity on the outside. Our outer voice needs to be found. It also has the potential to inspire others to speak up. Still, safe and respectful home and work environments make a big difference in this process. Unconditional and loving kindness is a important foundation for sharing. 

As we all know, geese will fly south each winter. The seasons will turn, and the sun will rise each morning. If we seek to go forth into the unknown of each new day, having the capacity to listen to that still small voice within can be transformational to the entire journey. 

© Geery Howe 2024

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Listen To Your Inner Voice - part #1

Introduction

Recently, I was listening to Lindsay Leahy and Brooke Fitzgerald from The Restoration Project talk about authenticity and leadership. During their presentation, they spoke about the importance of leaders listening to their inner voice. Instantly, I was struck by this being 100% correct. I agree wholeheartedly with their insight. And, at the exact same time, I wondered how many people know how to do this and where to start if they want to do this. The conundrum of agreeing with the insight and not being sure how I listen to my own inner voice plus being able to coach others in how to do this was a delightful opportunity for great reflection and great discussions with others. 

The Inner Dialogue

“Each of us has an inner teacher, a voice of truth,” writes Parker Palmer, “that offers the guidance and power we need to deal with our problems.” The first step is to listen to our inner voice, or inner teacher, referencing Parker Palmer, rather than the outside voices of others. When we do this deep, inner listening, we realize that we are really listening to our internal dialogue. And this inner dialogue is an inner discernment process between outer voices and their messages, and our inner voice and our understanding.

Often, the outer voices are sending us messages in multiple forms that state you are not enough, you are not worthy, and you are not working hard enough, etc.  All of these messages impact us on various levels. We feel judged by them and often defined by them. If we accept them as true, then our inner voice becomes an inner critic who reaffirms these messages. Or our inner voice becomes an inner defender who blames and criticizes everyone else for what is going on. As Greg McKeown notes, “… when people fear being judged, it drowns out their inner voice. They are able to focus only on what they think we want to hear, rather than on what they actually see or feel.”

However, our inner voice does not want to criticize ourself or fight with others. Instead, it wants to help us make the best of the various situations within which we find ourself. The outer voice is always present, always speaking, and always inserting itself into the inner dialogue. I believe the goal of the outer voice is uniformity while the goal of the inner voice is unity and alignment. The challenge in the midst of these two voices is to create the time and the space to listen to the inner voice. This process of inner listening often begins with centering. 

Hold The Quiet

During breakfast one day with a mentor of mine, we began discussing the challenges of living in a post pandemic world. As we explored various elements of this unique time period, the conversation turned to the subject of centering. “I think the key,” he explained, “is to hold the quiet.” I paused, got out a piece of paper, and wrote the phrase down, realizing that we had unlocked a critical step to my greater understanding of what is centering, and how to listen to the inner voice. 

From my perspective, centering is the first step we take as we enter into listening. It begins with a personal choice to be 100% present to the moment, rather than reacting to the past or a possible future. It is a silent, deeply personal and internal process of becoming quiet and still. It is where we feel our way into being present, rather than thinking our way into being present. It happens when we consciously choose to clear away the detritus of our daily lives, and turn our attention to our inner dialogue. And as we do this, we listen to the voice within. It is a on-going process that gives meaning to our lives. 

As we dove deeply into the phrase holding the quiet, we recognized that it is not the absence of noise as much as the creation of stillness. Furthermore, it is the process of removing internal clutter and distractions in order to listen better and understand more holistically what is happening within and around us.  

Holding the quiet is a powerful choice and an important discipline to consistently pursue over time. It requires us to center ourselves and listen to the inner dialogue. It also requires us to be present to the moment and to the people around us. It is based on an understanding that by listening to the inner voice we have access to a transformational system that has the potential to change ourselves and to change the world around us. As a result, when we practice centering on a regular basis, we are taking the first step to building a meaningful life.

We Are Constantly Evolving

When we choose to hold the quiet through centering, and recognize that it an effective way to listen to our inner voice, we also must remember that our best self is constantly evolving. Our choice to listen is not to maintain status quo, but instead to support and facilitate our on-going evolution toward a better self. 

I believe one element of listening to our inner voice is to better understand the inner dialogue that is taking place. This choice is an act of self-inquiry with the hope that we can attain a better level of self-understanding. However, the result of this choice of self-inquiry and understanding is to have a greater level of self-compassion. We are all doing the best we can with the information and understanding that we have accumulated so far in our life journey. Thus, the outer expression of our inner work is greater self expression.

When I reflect on this pathway from inner listening to outer action, I am reminded of the writing by John Kotter in his book, The Heart of Change: Real-Life Stories of How People Change Their Organizations (Harvard Business School Press, 2002). As he explains, “The flow of see-feel-change is more powerful than that of analysis-think-change.” From my experience, I believe that the pathway of see-feel-change may be best applicable at the organizational level, but at the personal level, I believe the pattern is center-listen-feel-change. I think this is a more honest and realistic pattern as long as we understand that what we hear and feel today may not be what we hear and feel tomorrow. As I mentioned earlier, we are constantly evolving and as such so is our inner voice. 

To be continued on Tuesday. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Pack Your Bags And Go - part #2

How Should I Travel?

I think the answer to the question, How should I travel?, is pretty straight forward. We need to travel thoughtfully, carefully, and mindfully. The difficulty is that what seems so simple and straight forward is actually quite hard to do. It requires us to work on two different levels, namely our mindset and our behavioral choices. And we rarely stop and examine both components in our lives. 

The movement from an operational and reactionary crisis manager to a strategic leader means that we have to shift our way of thinking. One normal outcome of this shift is that we may need to question some of our fundamental assumptions about people, and the world of organizational change. We also may need to change our priorities, and habits, too. 

For example, many people who travel to the edge and seek to be a better strategic leaders often talk with me about the importance of strategic planning and strategic plans. And this is one critical level of work that strategic leaders do. However, many leaders try to create a strategic plan that no one can successfully criticize or undermine. They start from a defensive position during the planning process. They want a document that keeps things under control, orderly, and predictable. This works if we are maintaining status quo. 

Nevertheless, there is another pathway based on a different mindset. These kinds of strategic leaders focus on questions more than definitive answers. They try to discover a few strategic questions that no one has thought to ask. Then, upon asking them, they focus on discovering truly original answers to these important questions. The goal is not to create control as much as thoughtful action, careful collaboration, and mindful ownership of the plan and the planning process. 

But, in the beginning, this starts with an understanding that “we only increase self-knowledge in the process of making changes,” writes Hermina Ibarra in her book, Act Like A Leader, Think Like A Leader (Harvard Business Review Press, 2015). As Richard Pascale further explains, “Adults are more likely to act their way into a new way of thinking than to think their way into a new way of acting.” Ibarra builds on this perspective noting, “When challenged to think beyond their functional speciality and to concern themselves with strategic issues to support the overall business, many managers do not immediately grasp that these are also relational - not just analytical - tasks.”

So, when we travel to the edge and seek to learn along the way, we need to understand that we will be changing the way we think about our work, the way we actually do our work, and expanding our network of relationships to actually do the work. Thus, the choice to travel thoughtfully, carefully, and mindfully is an elegant and challenging choice, all at the same time. 

The Center And The Edge Are Connected

Having spent a career visiting with numerous leaders who have packed their bags and gone to the edge of their understanding, I have learned one important thing, namely that the center and the edge are connected. This is because at the center of successful company is the mission, vision and core values, which offers stability and continuity to the progress and continual innovation that is taking place at the edge. Each, the center and the edge, need the other to be successful. Without stewardship of the center, or as some like to call it the core, the capacity to innovate is diminished by lack of clarity about what should not change and what can be changed. Innovation without stewardship also has the danger of resulting in strategic and operational misalignments at the cultural or systems levels. 

Furthermore, leaders who move to the edge in order to become more strategic need to recognize that endings and new beginnings are interconnected. The best leaders understand that every new beginning, i.e. innovation, starts with an ending. As William Bridges in his book, Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, (Perseuss Books, 1991), wrote, “Transition is different. The starting point for transition is not the outcome but the ending that you will have to make to leave the old situation behind….”. When we focus on endings, which often included letting go of old ways of working, identity and role clarity plus the subsequents losses and grief that comes with this, it is always good to know what is and what is not changing. This will help us as leaders to show how the endings ensure there is continuity of what really matters, and help all involved remember the importance of the original mission of the company. 

The center and the edge need to be connected and in successful companies, they are connected. Through sharing of information, involvement, and, at times, intervention to correct misalignments, we generate the capacity of more people to utilize their strengths and talents, plus imagination and innovation, to better serve the customer. In short, by having a holistic understanding of this critical idea, an individual can move from a reactionary, crisis oriented form of operational leadership, and, slowly over time, become a better strategic and operational leader. 

Be Open To Transformation

As we wrapped up our dinner together and finished off the bottle of very nice wine, I paused and said to him, “If you pack your bag and go to the edge to learn and understand more things about the company, strategy, and your self, you need to be open to being transformed.”

He looked and me and replied, “Really?”

“Yes. Transformation is critical to your success. Let me explain. The word transformation is an interesting word. The word is made up of three words - trans-form-ation. The last part references “action". The first part references “going beyond”. And there in the middle is the word form. So, in essence, transformation is the action of going beyond the present form.

And when we create a new form, we have endings and new beginnings all taking place at the same time. We are caught between what was, the old form, and what will be, the new form. However, when we go beyond the current form, we can carry certain things with us that are essential and truthful. The key is to find them, steward them, and recognize that they are the seeds, for lack of a better metaphor, for this new beginning, this transformation. 

So, the journey of transformation is big work. You will be doing it, hour by hour, and day by day. As Father Richard Rohr reminds us, “Transformed people transform people.” And that is all part of the journey when we pack our bag and go to the edge.”

He smiled, and nodded his head. We paid the bill and headed toward the parking lot. He stopped once we were outside, and then turned and hugged me. “Thanks. I needed that, Geery. I needed to see more clearly the path before me.”

I smiled and replied, “That’s why we visit.”

As he turned toward his car, I heard him say to himself, “Transformation. Really? That’s ought be interesting.”

I smiled, nodded my head, and said, “It will be an amazing adventure. Happy packing!”

He gave me a thumbs up as he got in his car and headed out. 

And as I got in my car, I thought to myself, “Exploring the edge of our faith and our understanding is always a transformational experience.”

© Geery Howe 2024

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Pack Your Bags And Go - part #1

Introduction

We were discussing the intersection of productivity, strategic planning, and leadership over a very nice dinner at a chef driven restaurant. I had just explained that when productivity is only defined by key performance indicators and does not include fulfilling the mission, then individual employees and those who they serve are reduced to function and outcomes more than people serving people. He put his fork down, paused, and said, “That makes sense. The difficulty for me is that I need to be a more strategic leader rather than just being a reactionary operational crisis manager. And you know what? I haven’t a clue about how to do that.” He took a sip of wine, paused again, and said, “So, Geery, how do I do this? Where do I begin?”

His thoughtful realization and the subsequent discussion reminded me of something Barbara Brown Taylor pointed out in her book, Holy Envy: Finding God in the Faith of Others (HarperCollins, 2019). As she explained, “John Philip Newell [internationally acclaimed spiritual teacher and author] offers a different way of thinking about how to navigate the distance between the center and the edge of faith. Sometimes you just have to pack your bag and go.” I like this metaphor, and shared it with this individual. What followed was an important discussion, because some days you have to just pack your bag and go. Some days you have to move from your center to the edge of your understanding, and keep learning. 

What Do I Pack?

When packing to go to the edge of your understanding in order to shift from being a crisis manager to a more strategic leader, the first two things to pack are character and integrity. We don’t talk much about these words any more. They seem like they are from a different century, a simpler and less complex time period. Still, the wisdom and the words from the past, such as character and integrity, can be applicable and helpful to us in the present.

A while back I read the following quote by Pastor A.R. Bernard: “Without character, talent will only take you so far.” The word character is defined as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” Upon reflection, I believe we need to talk more about character and character development. We also need to focus more on character rather than just talent development. For when we fully comprehend the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual, we begin to realize that compassion, courage, and commitment all have their beginning in the world of character and character development. 

One of the best ways to do this is reflect on the following questions:

- Who are the people of “character” that I know in my life?

- What separates them from others?

- How do they engage with people in group settings that is unique?

- How do they role model?

Self-reflection is vital to character development. 

The second item to pack is your integrity. Again, another word from the last century. The word integrity comes from the Latin word integer, which simply means “intact.” Martha Beck in her book, The Way of Integrity: Finding The Path To Your True Self (The Open Field/A Penguin Life Book, 2021), writes “To be in integrity is to be one thing, whole and undivided.” It reflects a “complete alignment of body, mind, heart, and soul.”

I believe one of the challenges of packing the bag to go is that we have lost the memory and the feeling of a complete alignment of body, mind, heart, and soul. This is in part because we have abandoned our own inner truth, and instead chosen to conform to external expectations. As Beck explains, “In this rush to conform, we often end up ignoring or overruling our genuine feelings - even intense ones, like longing or anguish to please our cultures. At that point, we’re divided against ourselves. We aren’t in integrity (one thing) but in duplicity (two things). Or we may try to fit in with a number of different groups, living in multiplicity (many things).” 

When we seek alignment and oneness, referencing Beck’s insight, we need to reclaim our ability to choose, own, and stand up for our values and beliefs, the foundation of our inner truth, in spite of the external pressures we are experiencing. I like how Rabbi Jonathon Omer-Man explains this: “Integrity is the ability to listen to a place inside oneself that doesn’t change, even though the life that carries it may change.” And it is that place inside us, the sum of character and integrity, that we need as we move from the center to the edge where we will keep learning. 

What Direction Should I Go?

Once our bag is packed for the journey from our center to the edge of our understanding, the big question is What direction should I go? The answer is simple and complicated all at the same time. For the direction we need to take to become a better strategic leader is to move toward the people who are doing the work. They are the ones who are doing the work on a day to day basis. They are the ones who are making the mission come alive. They are the ones who are generating the outcomes that we measure. 

At the same time, we need to zoom out to see the big picture in order to gain perspective about how everything is working. From this vantage point, we will grasp something the late priest and poet, John O’Donohue pointed out. As he explained, “… those of us who work are often caught within a grid of predictability and repetition. It is the same every day. There is such an anonymous side to work. All that is demanded of us is the input of our energy. We move through the workplace, and as soon as we are gone in the evening, we are forgotten. We often feel that our contribution, while it is required and demanded, is merely functional and in reality hardly appreciated. Work should not be like that at all; it should be an arena of possibility and real expression.”

In order to create a work place that is “an arena of possibility and real expression,” a leader needs to be both strategic and operational. In particular, they need to be able to switch back and forth, seeing the macro and seeing the micro, the big picture and the day to day operations. The key is to see the same thing from two different angles, and to grasp that a well built strategy creates culture. Furthermore, a strategic leader understands that the culture is the strategy, because it is the place which can support strategic change or stymie it. 

Jason Jennings in his book, Less is More: How Great Companies Use Productivity as a Competitive Tool in Business (Penguin Putnam, 2002), wrote, “In productive companies, the culture is the strategy…. Unlike other companies, productive companies know the difference between tactics and strategy… The difference is the foundation that allows them to stay focused and build remarkable companies. They have institutionalized their strategy.” 

This powerful insight is built on an understanding that productive and successful companies consciously institutionalize their culture. In particular, these companies grasp that a culture is the sum of behavioral norms that are agreed upon by those who work there. Furthermore, the leaders of these companies know that on any given day 80% of the staff report to a front line supervisor while working side by side with a small group of co-workers. For these people, their front line supervisor and their co-workers, not the senior leadership, are their world. For them, these relationships are “the company culture.”

So, with this in mind, we need to step back and look at the bigger picture, understanding that the strategy creates the company culture, and that the culture needs to be institutionalized across the entire company. And at the exact same time period, we need to step forward to the front line of the company to observe first hand how the desired culture is actually taking place. We need to see and understand if the kind of culture we aspire to, in pursuit of the strategy we have chosen, is actually creating the right kind of behaviors we want and the right kinds of outcomes between the people serving the customer, and the people who are working together to serve the customer. Therefore, moving to the living edge of the company is a wise and important choice. 

To be continued on Tuesday. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change