In a world where people are feeling disconnected, distrustful, and overwhelmed, the concept of leadership is often wrapped in some form of mystical and abstract definition, surrounded by inadequate words from the human vocabulary. As a result, many people struggle with what is leadership, and how to lead. When they look around to find the answer, all they see are fear-and-shame-based, or rank-and-yank forms of leadership. And none of this inspires them, or helps them answer the question of what is leadership.
When I was teaching my year long course on leadership and organizational change, I would have students read nine different books, and numerous articles on the subject of leadership. I remember one time during our third class session, a student came up to me during a break, and they were deeply frustrated.
“I’ve done all the readings, Geery, and none of the authors you assigned agree with each other. Every one of them sees it from a different angle. So, what’s the truth around all of this?”
“You’re right,” I replied. “This is why you need to decide, based on the research and your own personal experience, what makes sense to you, and what works best given your skill set and mind set. You need to find your clarity, and your truth on this subject.”
“Huh. Okay. I will do that.” And over time, they did just that. They found their answer, and became a very effective leader in their organization.
For me, the best leaders I know are stewards of what matters most, and, at the exact same time, they are 100% focused on building a better future for all. They embrace this two prong approach of stewardship and service, and live with the tension between these two elements, namely a desire to maintain what is important, and a desire to improve what is most important.
Right now, I fear that too many people have come to tolerate, and even expect, that leaders always act in a self-centered manner. As Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities (Wiley, 2020), writes “… if reward-centered, self-centered leadership becomes the norm, young people will grow up believing that this is what it means to be a leader….. I believe it’s long past time that we, as individuals and as a society, reestablish the standard that leadership can never be about the leader more than the led.” Then, he continues “… leadership is meant to be joyfully difficult and selfless responsibility…. Perhaps people will stop using the term ‘servant leadership’ altogether, because everyone will understand that it is the only valid kind. And that is certainly worth doing.”
From my perspective, the pathway to this kind of leadership requires something that is rarely, if ever, discussed in the world of leadership. As James Kerr in his book, Legacy: What The All Blacks Can Teach Us About The Business Of Life (Constable, 2013), writes, “The first stage of learning is silence, the second stage is listening.” What the best leaders understand is that on-going learning is mission critical to being successful as a leader, and that it begins with learning to be quiet. I like this old Gaelic phrase which I think captures the spirit of this idea, namely “quietness without loneliness.” It is hard to do, and it makes the listening element even better.
Many years ago, our oldest son took his mom and dad on a multi-day hiking trip in the southwest. In my earlier years, I had done a lot of hiking and camping, and was pretty confident that I could handle this trip. Since my own hiking equipment was dated and not in the best shape, our son borrowed some newer equipment from friends.
On the day we were packing our backpacks, a variety with an internal frame that I had never used before, our son watched me struggle with how to load it so the weight was evenly distributed. In my old back pack from the late 60’s which had an external frame, I knew how to do this with my eyes closed. In this one, I was baffled.
He watched me struggle for a while, and finally said: “Do you want a pro tip, Dad?”
I answered, “Sure” and stuck out my hand, thinking he was going to give me some physical item.
He smiled, and said: “Cannon balls before feathers. Put the heavy items closer to your hips and the lighter items toward the top.”
I looked at him, and I looked at this modern back-pack, and then I smiled. He was 100% correct. I was loading it wrong, and this insight was the solution. I also smiled, because while I had done it in the past, it did not mean I knew how to do it in the present. I needed to be open to learning, and being taught.
Next, this form of leading others requires us to understand something else that is rarely discussed in the world of leadership. James Kouzes and Barry Posner in their book, A Leader’s Legacy (Jossey-Bass, 2006), note, “If we’re going to be authentic in our leadership, we have to be willing to serve, and we have to be willing to suffer.” The first time I read this I had to stop reading, and really ponder this deep insight. Because in my work as an executive coach, I have met many people who are suffering, and who have suffered. As Kouzes and Posner explain, “Everything leaders do is about providing service.” And the best leaders are passionate about serving. Still, “... the word passion in any dictionary that includes origins you’ll see that it comes from the Latin word for suffering. Passion is suffering!” And suffering is normal.
Still, if we grasp this insight, we recognize one more thing that Kouzes and Posner shared that makes sense: “When we choose to lead every day, we choose to serve. Leading is not about what we gain from others but what others gain from us.” Our hope as leaders is that what people gain from us is clarity, connection, and confidence in order that they can serve others, too.
Furthermore, as we define leadership as the combination of stewardship and service, I am reminded of the following quote by the American basketball coach, John Wooden: “A player who makes the team great is better than a great player.” What I have noticed about great leaders is that they are team focused, especially in the areas of building and maintaining a cohesive leadership team. As Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business (Jossey-Bass, 2012), notes: “Becoming a real team requires an intentional decision on the part of its members…. teamwork is not a virtue. It is a choice - and a strategic one.” And a critical role of the leader is to choose people who will work well as a team, especially players who will “make the team great,” referencing Wooden’s early observation.
One unique element about these leaders is that they create a good climate or internal environment on the team. Lencioni calls this “vulnerability-based trust.” As he explains in the aforementioned book, “At the heart of the fundamental attribution error is the tendency of human beings to attribute the negative or frustrating behaviors of their colleagues to their intentions and personalities, while attributing their own negative or frustrating behaviors to environmental factors.... Of course, this kind of misattribution, where we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt but assume the worst about others, breaks down trust on a team.” Therefore, he continues, “The only way for the leader of a team to create a safe environment for his team members to be vulnerable is by stepping up and doing something that feels unsafe and uncomfortable first.”
This is where I have spent a great deal of time coaching leaders who want to embrace stewardship and service as their form of leadership. In particular, we discuss the power and importance of role modeling key behaviors as a leader and as a team member. Recognizing that each leader has different strengths and talents, great leaders build on the strength of their team members and their respective teams. They recognize that trust is built on clarity, experience, and compassion, recognizing that all involved are doing their best even on the days that they struggling on the inside and/or outside. When leaders comprehend this insight and this perspective, they can serve their team and the company in an authentic and healthy way too.
Fourth, as leaders choose the combination of stewardship and service, they must discern the difference between ripe and unripe issues. When I taught my year long course on leadership and organizational change, I would ask the students to read an interview of Ron Heifetz, the director of the Leadership Education Project at Harvard University’s John F Kennedy School of Government, in an article called “The Leader of the Future” by William Taylor in the June 1999 issue of Fast Company magazine. Many would complain that the article from 1999 was so “old,” and “why couldn’t they read something written more recently.” However, once they had read the article, they always said it was very helpful and good.
In one section of the interview, Heifetz explains the concept of a “productive discomfort zone.” He notes that “Drawing attention to tough challenges generates discomfort. So you want to pace the rate at which you frustrate or attempt to change expectations.” Then he writes: “That means distinguishing between ‘ripe’ and ‘unripe’ issues. A ripe issue is one in which there is a general urgency for action. An unripe issue is one in which there is local urgency -- a readiness to change within just one faction. The work that it takes to ripen an unripe issue is enormous -- and quite dangerous. It needs to be done, but it's different from working a ripe issue.”
This is such a simple concept, and yet such a powerful concept. Leaders, who embrace a reward-centered and self-centered form of leadership, don’t care about their people. They just want what they want, and don’t choose to ripen issues. Instead, they force things through the organization in order to get them done. The outcome of this choice is the creation of massive levels of distrust and, over time, a complete destruction of continuity and teamwork within the organization.
Jim Collins, in his book, How The Mighty Fall and Why Some Companies Never Give In (HarperCollins, 2009), calls this the “Hubris Born of Success.” As he explains, “Great enterprises can become insulated by success; accumulated momentum can carry an enterprise forward, for a while, even if leaders make poor decisions or lose discipline… [decline] kicks in when people become arrogant, regarding success virtually as an entitlement, and they loose sight of the true underlying factors that created success in the first place.” This whole perspective is the result of leaders believing “We’re so great, we can do anything!”. And as a result, people become disengaged.
However, when leaders choose to steward what matters most and serve their people, they can discern the difference between ripe and unripe issues. Then, thoughtfully and carefully, they can execute their plans related to the ripe issues and to ripen the unripe issues. The outcome from this choice is the on-going building of trust and commitment, plus teams getting stronger and more resilient in the face of difficult or challenging times.
What leaders need to understand is something that Brené Brown put so bluntly and clearly: “There is no app for transformation.” They also need to understand that there is no app for leadership. When an individual chooses to combine stewardship and service, they recognize that every person’s life has meaning, and every life has an influence, and is being influenced by other lives. We are all connected, and truth be told, every person is seeking a life of connection, purpose, and meaning. It is from this foundation that an individual will, over time, become a great leader. It is worth the time, effort, and energy to pursue this course of action because the outcome will always be transformational.
© Geery Howe 2026
