Building and maintaining healthy relationships is the foundation to successful change.

Over and over, people visit with me about the world of change. They struggle with it. They feel overwhelmed by it. And they feel confused by it.

Some authors suggest we need to suck it up and just get on board with change. Others tell us to focus on the results and the metrics. Finally, there are some authors who tell us that change is the constant and that it is normal to struggle.

I have listened to all of it, and I have watched the rise and passing of many best-seller books about the subject. Each in their own way has offered interesting tools and perspectives about how to lead, manage and move through this complicated and complex world of change.

For me, I always come back to the following perspective: Make friends before you need them. After decades and decades of working with people and companies, I have come to the conclusion that when we as leaders and as people build and maintain healthy relationships with others, successful change takes place.

Successful does not mean it will not be hard and challenging. Successful does not mean it will be less complicated or complex. Successful means, in the end, that when people support each other in healthy ways, they have the capacity to rise to their challenges, process the difficulties, and ultimately make a difference in spite of their challenges.  

When we feel cared for, respected and supported, we realize that we are stronger than we thought. And when this happens within the context of a team, a family or a community, we can walk through the trough of chaos, a sideways cyclone, the valley of bewilderment, or a pit of despair and come out on the other side stronger and more determined than ever. 

Just remember that best-seller books come and they go. People, however, who build and maintain a circle of support and perspective around themselves plus have a guiding purpose, can be the constant in the world of change. They can be the difference that is needed in the world and in the lives of others.

This week, spend time building new and meaningful relationships with people. And take care of the relationships you already have. Then, when push becomes shove in the world of change, you will have all you need to make it through to the next opportunity.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

How Do Leaders Empower Their Culture? - Part #1

Not too long ago, I was meeting with a mid-level manager about the implementation of a new way to do customer service, i.e. a whole new service delivery model, including a new position plus a new TO to match the new service delivery model. He was deeply frustrated, not with the model, the position or the TO changes. He was frustration with not being heard as to his concerns about the speed of the implementation process and not being included in the process of defining the new KPIs to determine implementation success.

“I hear your frustration,” I responded, “and let’s pause for a moment. I can not change the pathway of how we got here. There are many leadership lessons that you and I can learn from what has taken place.

Now, given we can’t change the past, let’s look at what to do moving forward. First, can you tell me what is the goal or strategy that is driving all of these changes?”

What followed was a journey of understanding the WHY factors, not just focusing on the WHAT, i.e. what had happened. Some days we do not get to choose how things unfold and yet we have to continue to move forward effectively. One key to this process is to make sure we as a leader, no matter what level we are within the company, can create clarity. And in this situation, we also need to connect that clarity, e.g. about the new model and TO changes, back to the overall strategy and goals within the current strategic plan.

When I am dealing with situations of this nature, I think of Herminia Ibarra and her book, Act Like A Leader, Think Like A Leader (Harvard Business Review Press, 2015). In it, she writes: “… the quality of a leader’s idea is not the only thing people consider when making up their minds about whether to engage with a leader. Naive leaders act as if the idea itself is the ultimate selling point. Experienced leaders, on the other hand, understand that the process is just as important, if not more so. How they develop and implement their ideas, and how leaders interact with others in this process, determines whether people become engaged in the leaders’ efforts.”

Ibarra’s formula for success comes down to the following: the idea + the process + you = success in leading change. What we have to remember as leaders is that, as she continues, “… the you part always trumps the idea and is the filter through which people evaluate the process.” In short, it all boils down to the quality of people’s relationships with others before they engage in making change. This depth of clarity about the importance of alignment with overall strategy plus building healthy work relationships is what leaders do every day to empower their organization’s culture.

From my vantage point, when I find an organization and an empowered culture, I really pay attention to the leaders. Those leaders who empower their culture do something that at first seemed inconsequential but upon hours of reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is critical to their success. They are constantly networking, i.e. friend-raising, but more important they are building networks of people. They are not connecting people with just themselves as much as with other leaders within and outside the company. By constantly connecting people to people, these leaders understand that this network of connections has the potential to become a network of support for empowered action and perspective. Furthermore, sometimes this network will help people operationally focus on their internal responsibilities or their own personal or professional development, but what I notice most of all is how much this network helps people with strategic focus and understanding the bigger picture.

This week I challenge you to continue building your own network and also to helping others to build their networks. The combination of the two would be a force multiplier for all involved.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

What Is The Connection Between Excellence, Culture And Strategy? - Part #1

I have enjoyed a lot of wonderful breakfast, lunches and dinners with many different people over the last six months. These times together include some deep listening and very good sharing. Our visits have been interesting and insightful. Now is the time for me to share what I have learned with all of you.

We were at a really good burger place a couple of months ago. The food was good and the conversation was lively when I asked the following question: “What are your expectations of your direct reports?”

He paused in between bites and said, “Good question. My expectations for my direct reports are to drive performance metrics, and to keep me informed of what I should know.”

I thought for a moment and then said, “Metrics are an outcome. They are the result of people making the right choices. The challenge for someone in a leadership position is to recognize that behavior problems almost always precedes quantitative results, according to Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business (Jossey-Bass, 2012). Furthermore, behavioral problems occur long before any decrease in measurable results is apparent.

So, what is the culture or behaviors that would produce those desired results?What is the mindset where everyone makes the right choices?”

You could just see the wheels turning inside his head as he explored the question. After a couple of moments, he responded, “I want everyone focused, doing the right things at the right time and for the right reasons.”

“Good answer,” I commented. “Now, let’s talk about that ….”

Our challenge as leaders is to recognize that organizational culture reflects a set of behavioral norms. Sometimes we agree to them, and sometimes we are not aware of them. For us here today, we need to remember that about 80% of the staff report to a front line supervisor, and about 80% of the staff work side by side with a small group of co-workers. For these particular staff, their front line supervisor and their co-workers, not you as a senior leader, are their world. For them, these relationships are “the company culture”

I believe there are four levels of organizational culture. The first is interpersonal culture which reflects peer to peer relationships. The second is operational culture which reflects the health of the employee to supervisor relationship. The third is strategic culture which reflects the relationship between the supervisor and the senior team. The fourth level is organizational culture which is the sum of all the relationships, i.e. the company as a whole.

What I have learned over the last six months is that we need to focus on improving the interpersonal culture level and the operational culture level. When people think and act clearly at these two levels, then people do the right things for the right reasons at the right time.

This week, reflect on what you are and are not doing to improve interpersonal and operational culture. It is time more people are making better choices and creating better outcomes.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Pull Together

The capacity of an organization to transform itself reflects its ability to work together as a team. As Margaret Wheatley reminds us, "It is time to become passionate about what is best in us, and to create organizations that welcome our creativity, contribution, and compassion. We do this by using processes that bring us together to talk to one another, listen to one another's stories, reflect together on what we're learning as we do our work. We do this by developing relationships of trust, where we do what we say, where we speak truthfully, where we refuse to act from petty self interest."

From this perspective, leaders recognize that relationships are the foundation for action during times of prolonged uncertainty and instability. They are the glue that bonds people together through the trough of chaos.

One day I walked into a company, and as I waited in the reception area for the person who was to meet me, I couldn't help but be drawn to a gorgeous arrangement of roses. Then I noticed a small card attached to the vase: "Thanks for being such a great staff. I appreciate how you rose to the challenges these past two weeks.” It was signed by their supervisor -- a small touch, but artfully done, and a reminder that developing a team is an ongoing process.

When you have been through a tough period, part of the pathway to being able to come together is to recognize the importance of forgiveness. As Joan Borysenko wrote, "The psychological case for forgiveness is overwhelmingly persuasive. Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another's control. . . . Those who do not forgive are those who are least capable of changing the circumstances of their lives. In this sense, forgiveness is a shrewd and practical strategy for a person . . . . to pursue ‚ for forgiveness frees the forgiver."

Leaders make difficult decisions every day. Followers work within tough parameters and make difficult decisions and choices, too. The difficulty is that, when key relationships are strained, leaders and followers have the potential to lose mutual respect and understanding. Successful change involves dialogue and a constant flow between learning and practice. To cultivate clarity, forethought, and focus, leaders and followers need to build the capacity to work together well -- before it is crucial.

Remember: In times of prolonged uncertainty, healthy team relationships make all the difference.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Growing Capacity All Year Round

When it comes to the subject of how to grow capacity, the standard answer and the one we have explored in great detail during past From Vision to Action Executive Roundtables and in the From Vision to Action Leadership Training is that leaders grow capacity through growing clarity. Given the pace and speed of change in so many organizations this fall, a more in-depth answer is now needed.

As we all know, awareness turns into understanding when someone has a picture inside their head of optimal performance or what the goal looks like once achieved. Next, collaboration, which is critical to growing capacity, begins with the relationship someone has with others and their boss. Finally, commitment  starts when people understand how their job makes a difference and they feel a part of something that is purposeful.

My two recent insights about growing capacity come from rereading James  Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner’s book called A Leader’s Legacy. Jossey-Bass, 2006. As they note, the “single best predictor of career success [for an individual] is the relationship they had with their very first supervisor.” They also note that “... the most important leader is any organization is not the CEO or the head honcho; its the leader we see most often, the one we turn to when we need guidance and support.” As Kouzes and Posner remind us, the foundation for growing capacity start with healthy work relationships. 

This week, pause and evaluate your key relationships at work. It may be time to move them to a new level and depth of interaction.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Building and Maintaining Healthy Work Relationships

Recently, I have been in a lot of meeting where the subject of resistance has surfaced. Too many times, I have to point out that the people who are resisting change often care about the organization and that resistance is simply a normal form of communication and feedback. The hard part about these conversations is that I often have to end up asking a difficult, and unnerving for some, but still important question: What is a healthy work relationship for someone in a leadership or management position? Most answers revolve around creating role clarity and making sure all involved are clear about expectations, goals and priorities. These are good answers but I like to go deeper than this when exploring this question.

First, Patrick Lencioni, in a book called The Five Temptations of a CEO: A Leadership Fable, Jossey-Bass, 1998, wrote that there are a series of temptations for those in leadership positions:

- Temptation #1: Choosing status over results

- Temptation #2: Choosing popularity over accountability

- Temptation #3: Choosing certainty over clarity

- Temptation #4: Choosing harmony over productive conflict

- Temptation #5: Choosing invulnerability over trust

Right now, I see more and more young leaders and even some more experienced and older leaders getting sucked into work relationships based on status, popularity and certainty.  I do not fault the young leaders and hope they can read more and receive better coaching over time to correct these missteps in judgement and perspective, but I am disturbed when older and more experienced leaders do not role model a healthier and more grounded understanding of leadership relationships.

There are days now when I wish I could greet each person who is new to the world of supervision and hand them a copy of the above book. I would then say, “please read this in the next 24 hours and then we will start your one to one coaching sessions.” Maybe then we can start off on the right foot.

Next, I would review the core concepts in the book, Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High, McGraw-Hill, 2002, by Kerry Patterson, Kerry, Joseph Grenny, and Ron McMillan. As they point out, crucial conversations are normal to the work world and happen when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong.  “When two or more of us enter crucial conversations, by definition we don’t share the same pool,” i.e. the pool of shared meaning which is a measure of a group’s IQ, and is the birthplace of synergy. 

First, the authors say to “start with heart” and work on yourself. “Remember that the only person you can directly control is yourself.” Next, “focus on what you really want.” As they explain, when you find yourself moving toward silence or anger, stop and pay attention to your motives. Ask yourself: What does my behavior tell me about what my motives are? Then clarify what you really want. Ask yourself: What do I want for myself? For others? For the relationship? And finally ask: How would I behave if this were what I really wanted?

They continue this line of thinking by refusing the “Sucker’s Choice,” i.e. that you must choose between peace and honesty, between winning and losing, and so on. Instead, they share with us the following term, CRIB. It stands for:

- Commit to seek mutual purpose.

- Recognize the purpose behind the strategy.

- Invent a mutual purpose.

- Brainstorm new strategies.

If more leaders were to commit to a CRIB perspective, we would have healthier work relationships. As David Cottrell in his book, Monday Morning Leadership: 8 Mentoring Sessions You Can’t Afford to Miss, reminds us: “Your job is not to lower the bottom by adjusting and accommodating the falling stars. You should be raising the top by recognizing and rewarding superstar behaviors.” It is time for all people to be super stars by avoiding the temptations of a leader and to commit to mutual purpose.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

A Simple, Yet Powerful Truth

I was reading recently and came across a simple, yet powerful truth: Relationships are more important than things.

There are days in my work as a consultant and executive coach when I wish I could chisel this one statement into the lintel, i.e. the horizontal support, above every door in an office. I also wish it was the screen saver on every office computer. Some how I just wish people would remember that relationships are more important than things.

The hard part is that people at work get so busy with meetings, reports and checklists that they forget about relationships.  They focus on measurements and metrics, flow charts and graphs. All of which are to prove that status quo is working or not working. Big words like optimization and bench marking, efficiency and value added define their focus and their reality.

But in reality, the company may be optimizing current practices but this does not address the very real possibility that the organization may also be exhausting its assets and resources because it is optimizing the wrong activities. Furthermore, these same companies may be bench-marking against their competition. However, we need to realize that doing the same set of activities or processes like someone else but more effectively can be nothing more than a recipe for mediocrity.

Nevertheless, this all could be different if people remembered that relationships are more important than things. Then, when poor choices are being made, people in healthy relationships would speak up and point out the potential problems before devastating consequences took place. Trust and commitment would generate more realistic strategies and goals, preventing incorrect choices and serious organizational misalignments.

However this won’t happen if people in leadership positions do not have the courage to embrace one simple truth: relationships are more important than things.

This week, embrace this simple truth and discover the power of healthy relationships.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

The New Fundamentals

Reading, writing and arithmetic, the traditional three R’s, are considered the foundation of education. Some believe that if we improve these three skill sets, we can transform what is happening in our schools today. The result of which will be to close the achievement gap, ensure more students can graduate, and have more students ready for college and/or the workplace. If mastery of the three R’s takes place, then truly no child will be left behind.

Yet, in the world of business, I wish we could say there are just three skill sets to master and then all will be well. I wish we could focus on three things and assure a greater degree of success in a time period of complexity and economic uncertainty. Since the new year started, I have been thinking about what are the fundamentals to success in business in 2011. Based on a lot of listening and visiting with people, I believe we need to focus on the following four R’s: respect, responsibility, relationships, and reflection.

First, we need to build a work environment where all involved show more respect. Personal trust, i.e. the trust employees have in their own managers, and strategic trust, i.e. the trust employees have in the people running the show to make the right strategic decisions, begins and ends with respect. Be it when we speak or listen, respect is the foundation of trust.

Second, we must take more responsibility for our own words and actions. Having the ability to respond based on thoughtful reflection means more meaningful dialogue. It will help us to remember that we can choose to be the problem or the solution in any given situation. The key is being clear about our choices and making sure we respond from clarity rather than fear or reaction.

Third, we need to develop and maintain our relationships with others. Years ago, Stephen Covey wrote, “No gardener; no garden.” If we want the benefits of the garden, i.e. beauty, flowers, color, etc., then someone needs to be the gardener, the one who cares for the plants and the soil. But every day now, I see more and more people at work frustrated with dysfunctional team relationships. When I ask how they are developing and maintaining them, they report that they “show up to meetings on time with these people.” I often shake my head and reply, “that is like building a marriage based on showing up for dinner on time.” A relationship is more than mere attendance at a meeting. It needs care and feeding, meaningful interaction and thoughtful dialogue, time and energy, so that it can grow and mature over the course of normal organizational change and evolution.

Finally, we need to commit to reflection time. The faster we go (and we are beginning to move at warp speed in some sectors now) the more we need to pause and reflect on all that is happening. Strategic review and reflection are mission critical during the coming weeks and months. Furthermore, it is time for us to think new visions and bigger strategic ideas. It is time for us to commit to a higher level of performance.

For many in the work place right now, there are three questions they ask every day, namely What’s wrong? Who did it? Who’s going to fix it? From my perspective, these questions create a work environment of blame, shame and excuses. And as a result, we end up battling over the minutia and not focused on the strategic direction of the organization. As someone once reminded me back in the 80’s, anyone can climb the corporate ladder of success to the top; the best make sure it is first leaning against the right wall.

For me, there are three new questions we need to be focused on in 2011. They are: Do you care about what you are doing right now? Do you think something better is possible? What kind of person are you going to be? Reflection based on these three questions generates personal clarity and personal commitment which is the foundation for collective clarity and collective commitment.

While I wish we could have three fundamental skill sets like reading, writing and arithmetic in the world of business, I do believe that in 2011 we need to focus on the new fundamentals of respect, responsibility, relationships, and reflection. With time and patience, these key elements can transform our workplace into being more successful and more sustainable given the challenges before us.

Geery Howe, M.A.Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer inLeadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational ChangeMorning Star Associates319 - 643 - 2257