The Burden Of Confidentiality

During the 90’s, I was invited to teach at the University of Iowa’s Annual Summer School For Helping Professionals. This school was designed to help social workers, psychiatrists, nurses, psychologists, counselors and a variety of other helping professions to get all of their continuing education credits in one five day period, plus get university credits along the way.

My class was focused on how to teach stress management skills to patients and clients in clinical settings. Over the course of the week, we were going to learn a wide variety of stress management techniques and different ways to teach them. 

When I first got approached to do this, I was told that my class size would be 20-30 students max. Most professors had 15-20 people in their class for the five days.

So on a Monday morning in August, I went to the student union at the University of Iowa for the new teacher orientation and to fill out the appropriate paperwork to get paid for what I was going to do over the course of the week. After a rousing speech about the importance of continued education by one of the deans and a very nice lunch, each professor was handed a single sheet of paper with the names of their students and told which room they were going to teach.

When they came around to me, I was handed a stack of papers. I remember holding the stack of paper and inquiring to the woman who handed them to me, “How many students do I have?”

She replied, “Currently, you have 60 people and more are signing up right now. I think you will end up with 75 students. And, by the way, you will be meeting your class in the second floor ballroom. There are no classrooms in the Union to handle this size of a class. Good luck!”

Now, there is a huge difference between teaching 20-30 people something and teaching 75 people something. I had planned on the smaller number and now had 30 minutes to recreate my lesson plans for the larger number. When I walked into the second floor ballroom, the place was packed to the gills with people. They kept coming and the organizers kept bringing in more chairs and tables. 

Over the course of the week, I had to practice all the techniques I was teaching so I was not too stretched. I also had a fabulous time working with such engaged people who understood the importance of helping people in a holistic manner.

On the last day as people came up to thank me for a good week, one of the oldest participants hung back until she was the last one to say good-bye. Then, she came up to me, shook my hand, and said, “Not bad. You worked hard up there and you have figured out a couple of things that were interesting too. Still, you did forget one thing. Never go to a counselor who doesn’t have a counselor. The burden of confidentiality is real, and we all have stuff we need to work on along the way. Otherwise, good work this week young man.”

I smiled and she continued with a wink, “Next year when you do this, you will have even more students.” The following year when I repeated the class I had nearly had 100 students!

This week, remember that one of the challenges of coaching and mentoring is the burden of confidentiality. Therefore, make sure you have ample allies and confidants to help you do this level of work.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

The Power Of The Chair

When visiting with senior executives, we often talk about the “power of the chair.” Many recognize, using a line from the Spider Man movie, that “with great power comes great responsibility.” They know they need to use this power in a very thoughtful manner.

However, recently the discussion about the power of the chair has turned to the burden of confidentiality that comes with being a senior leader. Routinely, senior  leaders know more about what is going on than they can say. Furthermore, they often can not visit about it with any one at work. As these issues surface, e.g. the potential impact of a reorganization, leaders often sit in a room and know who is being coached out, who is being coached up, and who will loose their job due to the reorganization. They recognize that as a leader these choices need to be made. They also know they are not easy.

Recently, many executives have come to realize that having the power of the chair means that they can not choose popularity over accountability or harmony over productive conflict. These two key concepts from Patrick Lencioni’s book,  The Five Temptations of a CEO: A Leadership Fable are critical to their success. They realize that the solution to the burden of confidentially and the wise use of power is to build a very healthy senior team, to find allies and confidents who can listen in a respectful manner, and to always think about the impact of their actions as leaders before moving forward.

At the same time, if we seek personal excellence in our work as leaders, we must continue to rekindle our passion for the work we do. Twice in my life, I have hit the proverbial wall and asked the question, “Is this it?” Once right after leaving my first job as a teacher, I returned to the trades. Over a lunch discussion with co-workers who told stories about the crazy things they did when they were drunk, I asked myself, “Is this it?” 

Once in my 40’s when my business was in a boom period and I was flying and teaching all over the place, I realized that I was never home. I also discovered that when I was home I was mentally still at work. Then, I realized that when I die, all my clients will come to my funeral. They will say nice things about my work, but I wondered what my wife and children would actually say. At times like that, I paused and asked myself, “Is this it?”

Then, in my 50’s this question changed as I changed. Rather than asking “is this it?”, I came to the realization that “this could be it.” I could keep doing this between now and when I retire. It would not be too bad. It was manageable and good enough, just more of the same. 

But with this realization, I kept thinking of Jim Collin’s book, Good to Great where he states, “Good is the enemy of great.” The pathway to leading from the place of personal excellence requires all of us to not accept “just good enough.” We have to reclaim our desire for greatness, passion and wanting to make a difference. We have to not settle into ruts of mediocrity and just roll with the issues. We need to realize that we are the program and the programmer. If we need to upgrade the program, we also need to upgrade the programmer.

One pathway to this level of work is to develop or expand our “circles of trust,”  a Parker Palmer term. With the burden of confidentiality, we need to surround ourselves with others who recognize that leading solo can yield anxiety and fear. We need people in our lives who know how to support without judgement. We also need to build more personal and professional relationships with people who comprehend that discernment happens best through dialogue and reflection. 

Next, we need to proactively build this level of trusting and supportive community so that the front of the house, our work, and the back of the house, our personal lives, are the same house. And if we have this already in place, then we need to proactively maintain it. Too many leaders are now watching their circles of trust decline through neglect.

Remember: people, boards and organizations all want great leadership. We, as those leaders, must lead with good hearts and a clear mind if it is going to happen.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Leading With a Good Heart - Part # 3

When visiting with senior executives, we often talk about the “power of the chair.” Many recognize, using a line from the Spider Man movie, that “with great power comes great responsibility.” They know they need to use this power in a very thoughtful manner.

However, recently the discussion about the power of the chair has turned to the burden of confidentiality that comes with being a senior leader. Over time, leaders know about more challenges that they can not visit about with any one at work. As these issues surface, e.g. the potential impact of a reorganization, leaders often sit in a room and know who is being coached out, who is being coached up, and who will loose their job due to this reorganization. They recognize that as a leader these choices need to be made. They also know they are not easy.

Recently, many executives have come to realize that having the power of the chair means that they can not choose popularity over accountability or harmony over productive conflict. These two key concepts from Patrick Lencioni’s book, The Five Temptations of a CEO: A Leadership Fable, Jossey-Bass 1998, are critical to their success. They realize that the solution to the burden of confidentially and the wise use of power is to build a very healthy senior team, to find allies and confidents who can listen in a respectful manner, and to always think about the impact of our actions as leaders before moving forward.

At the same time, if we seek to lead with a good heart, then we must recognize the role of purpose within leadership. Over and over this past fall, I have reminded leaders that creating organizational clarity comes with an understanding of why the organization exists. In order to minimize the potential for confusion, we as leaders need to define how leaders and managers should behave and role model, how the organizational culture should perform, and what is our strategy for the future. Once we have these pieces in place, we must align employees around these key points and reinforce this clarity through consistently hiring, managing performance, giving rewards and recognition and dismissing employee who do not work in alignment with these key points.

Finally, we must continue to rekindle passion for the work we do. Twice in my life, I have hit the proverbial wall and asked the question, “Is this it?” Once right after leaving my first job as a teacher, I returned to the trades. Over a lunch discussion with co-workers who told stories about the crazy things they did when they were drunk, I asked myself, “Is this it?”

Once in my 40’s when my business was in a boom period and I was flying and teaching all over the place, I realized that I was never home. I also discovered that when I was home I was mentally still at work. Then, I realized that when I die and all my clients come to my funeral, they will say I was a great teacher and consultant, but I wondered what my wife and children would actually say. At times like that, I paused and asked myself, “Is this it?”

Then, in my 50’s this question changed as I changed. Rather than asking “is this it?”, I came to the realization that “this could be it.” I could keep doing this between now and when I retire. It would not be too bad. It was manageable and good enough, just more of the same. But with this realization, I kept thinking of Jim Collin’s book, Good to Great where he states, “Good is the enemy of great.” The pathway to leading with a good heart requires all of us to not accept “just good enough.” We have to reclaim our desire for greatness, passion and wanting to make a difference. We have to not settle into ruts of mediocrity and just roll with the issues. We need to realize that we are the program and the programmer. If we need to upgrade the program, we also need to upgrade the programmer.

One pathway to this level of work is to develop or expand our “circles of trust,” a Parker Palmer term. With the burden of confidentiality, we need to surround ourselves with others who recognize that leading solo can yield anxiety and fear. We need people in our lives who know how to support without judgement. We also need to build more personal and professional relationships with people who comprehend that discernment happens best through dialogue and reflection. Next, we need to proactively build this level of trusting and supportive community so that the front of the house, our work, and the back of the house, our personal lives, are the same house. And if we have this already in place, then we need to proactively maintain it. Too many leaders are now watching their circles of trust decline through neglect.

This week, remember that people, boards and organizations all want great leadership. We, as those leaders, must lead with good hearts if it is going to happen.

Have an inspiring week,

Geery

P.S. For those of you who want to read a good, short and recent article by Patrick Lencioni, here is a fine one shared with me recently:

http://www.businessweek.com/managing/content/dec2010/ca2010129_907463.htm

Happy reading!

Geery Howe, M.A.Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer inLeadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational ChangeMorning Star Associates319 - 643 - 2257