Everything Changes - part #2

The Importance Of Dialogues And Multilogues

The other thing leaders need to understand is that cell phones and other forms of technology can result in being constantly distracted from the present moment, and from the important work of making connections with people. As Margaret Wheatley points out, “Only use processes that bring people together in mutual respect. No othering or distancing from one another. We start and end as equals…. Conversations is the technology. Curiosity, vulnerability, mutual respect give it power.” 

From my professional experiences of working with great leaders, I have witnessed that being fully present with others means creating quality time for sharing, listening, and learning, which creates a deeper level of understanding, knowledge, and perspective. It also provides us with the opportunity to be mindfully evolving our own capacity to lead and serve others. 

Yet, for this to happen on an on-going basis, we need to engage in dialogues and multilogues on a routine basis. The word dialogue comes the Greek language meaning dia through and logus word. It is a conversation between two people, focusing on the exchange of words and ideas. I have often seen this done well during regular coaching and check-in sessions. 

Multilogue, on the other hand, is a conversation involving three or more participants, often characterized as many-to-many rather than a two-person dialogue. It allows for multiple and diverse voices and perspectives to be heard, and it is a safe space for co-creation and in-depth collaboration. While a dialogue is often between two people, a multilogue, or sometimes called a polylogue, describes a larger group interaction, which, over time, can build ownership and a strategic level mindset. I have often seen this done well during regular strategic reviews and during in-depth strategic planning. 

When I think about dialogues and multilogues, I have to remember that I was raised in a print culture, i.e. books, newspapers, articles, etc., with a general societal focus on continuity, uniformity, and repeatability. I even remember the Dewy Decimal System and using the card catalog at the local library. However, we now live in a time period of AI, Chat GPT, algorithms, and internet searches, all of which have the potential to create discontinuity, ambiguity, and multiple networks of interactions in order to find key information, develop a plan, or quickly adapt a plan that is already being executed. 

Given this wide diversity of life experiences within the current workforce, the best leaders, who recognize that everything changes over time, do not focus on one of the aforementioned differences as being good and the other as being bad or old fashion. Instead, they recognize that the world of effective leadership is built on working within an interconnected whole rather than just defining it as a collection of entities, teams, or people. The combination of dialogues and multilogues creates an interconnected whole with a direct connection to the strategic nexus, namely the sum of mission, vision and core values plus the current strategic plan. 

The Challenge of Armor

Still, when leaders approach people and change from a binary perspective, namely done vs not done, they invariably end up armoring up to protect themself from others. They do this, because they frame resistance and the feeling of things being chaotic as a problem rather than as a normal part of the overall change process. Brené Brown in her book, Strong Ground: The Lessons Of Daring Leadership, The Tenacity Of Paradox, and The Wisdom Of The Human Spirit (Random House, 2025), writes “The big learning from the original research and substantiated by every study we’ve done since is that the real barrier to daring leadership is armor - the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that we use to protect ourselves when weren’t willing and able to rumble with vulnerability.” Then, with their armor on as form of self-protection, they are ready to do battle with everyone and every thing around them. The result is that kindness, respect, compassion, and collaboration fall by the wayside in one’s expectations and efforts to generate perfect levels of control, order, and predictability. 

Nevertheless, I can hear executive coaches advising clients to take off their armor in order to be more effective. Yet, taking off this amor can feel chaotic if not even a crisis for many leaders. They put on the armor, consciously or unconsciously, because they did not feel safe. They also put it on, because, on one level, they did have the tools or the mindset to “rumble with vulnerability.” For them, the armor is the solution to a problem, and the problem is fear. As Brené Brown notes, “At the heart of daring leadership is a deeply human truth that is rarely acknowledged, especially at work: Courage and fear are not mutually exclusive. Most of us feel brave and afraid at the exact same time. Sometimes all day long.”

Therefore, we need to create the conditions for people to feel safe at the individual and group or team levels. This involves building trust, and thoughtful connections. We also need to provide them with the tools and perspective to deal with fear, vulnerability, and unpredictability. Otherwise, the choice will be put on armor, and focus on controlling everything and everyone around us. 

There also is one more thing we need to do. As James Kouzes and Barry Posner in their book, A Leader’s Legacy (Jossey-Bass, 2006), explain, “Speaking of the truth, for each individual, the most important leader in any organization is not the CEO, or the head honcho; it’s the leader we see most often, the one we turn to when we need guidance and support.” They then note, the “... single best predictor of career success is the relationship they had with their very first supervisor…. The leaders who have the most influence on us are those who are closest to us.” 

And when we armor up, and then engage with others, we are not going to be seen as someone who can offer guidance and support. We also will not be seen as someone who cares and understands the challenges of working within complexity. In short, our lack of vulnerability will be framed as a barrier rather than an asset. 

So, in order to help leaders take off their armor and become the kind of people who others are willing to follow, Kouzes and Posner remind us that “leadership development is first and foremost self-development.” And when this in-depth self-development process takes place, Kouzes and Posner write, “Leadership is courage in action…. Leadership is a humbling experience…. When we choose to lead every day, we choose to serve. Leading is not about what we gain from others but what others gain from us.” And serving others is vital to dealing with the convergence of complexity and rapid intensification. 

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

“It’s really easy to complicate your life,” writes Yvon Chouinard, founder of Patagonia. “It’s a lot harder to simplify it.” Nevertheless, that is exactly what we need to do at this time period. 

Currently, we live in a world where multiple factors are causing everything to feel and be  chaotic. While we wish this could all change overnight, leaders understand that this is a pipe dream rather than the reality within which they work and live. They also understand that in order for us to be effective, and, at times, efficient, we need to accept the fact that everything changes. And some days, these changes are adaptive and other days they are evolutionary. But in the end, change is the constant in the world of leadership. 

Therefore, when things feel chaotic and are chaotic, we must change our inscape in order to better lead within the landscape of our lives. We must prepare for, and recognize the conditions that generate rapid intensification. We must create the time and space for more dialogues and multilogues in order to create greater levels of clarity, commitment, and engagement. We also must recognize that the armor we put on and wear, consciously or unconsciously, does not always serve us well or generate respectful and meaningful connections with others. 

If our goal in the midst of all this change is to respond rather than to react, and to build safe and trusting work environments, where all involved can create solutions which are owned and understood by the people who have to execute them, then we must calm our minds and be fully present to people around us. For when we do this, something important happens. As Joey Reiman, professor at Emory’s Business School, wrote: “If you can change your mind, you can change the world.” And that is what we are trying to do while everything changes all around us. 

© Geery Howe 2026

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Everything Changes - part #1

Introduction

Recently, I have shared a term with leaders that has been quite helpful, namely rapid intensification. This term is used to describe how hurricanes develop in a short period of time, e.g. the weather was fine and then it changed quickly overnight, which resulted in the development of a hurricane. Recognizing this pattern, weather scientists monitor for the conditions that will result in rapid intensification, and, if they see it starting to happen, they then make specific recommendations as to safety, etc. before a full blown hurricane happens. 

Given current events taking place in a wide diversity of organizations, the conditions for rapid intensification are surfacing. Therefore, leaders need to monitor these conditions quite closely. Then, if they do surface, they need to have a plan for how to respond in order to handle the arrival of a metaphorical hurricane. 

Another element related to this current situation is that more and more people report feeling isolated, excluded, and invisible at work and at home. They also are feeling irritated, impatient, and disappointed that things are not working very well. Many of these people are desperately seeking a place and/or a group where they feel like they belong, and are welcomed just as they are. These individuals have a desire for connection and certainty, a wanting to stand on solid and stable ground, and a hoping for time and space where life is predictable and safe. This desire reflects people being worn to the core by constant ambiguity and uncertainty. For some, they feel like every day is a moment of rapid intensification, resulting in perpetual hurricanes on a wide variety of different levels in their professional and personal lives. 

The Big Question

So, what are people in leadership positions suppose to do when all of this is taking place day after day, month after month?

First, we must remember that everything changes, and that everyone has always been a part of the process. While this may not be comforting, it is a normal part of living, whether we like it or not. 

Second, we need to remember an insight shared by Margaret Wheatley: “Evolution does not mean progress, only adaptive change.” While things have always been changing, it does not mean that things are always moving in the right direction. Adaptive change is not always progress. 

Third, we need to discern where all this change and reaction to change is happening. Currently, we are dealing with more and more complex problems, and the consequences of many, past solutions. The outcome of this convergence is overwhelming. But we must pause and discern where, not just what is happening. 

Nineteenth-century poet Gerard Manley Hopkins coined the phrase “inscape” as being different than landscape. The former focuses on the inner experience of a person moving through time while the later focuses on the external experience of a person through time. While there is a subtle difference between the two, our role as leaders is to discern where the change is happening and how we want to proceed. From experience, working on the inscape is vital to working effectively in the landscape.  

Responding to Rapid Intensification

With these three perspectives in mind, we as leaders can respond to these cycles of constant, rapid intensification in three ways. First, we must focus on listening to what is going on inside of us, and also what is happening outside of us. Listening is an opportunity to become more open, not just to understand what is being said on the outside, but also to comprehend the inner dialogue about it. For when we listen and are more open to a diversity of perspectives, we have the opportunity to comprehend a larger understanding, and the inter and intra connectivity to all that is happening in the midst of the constant fragmentation, uncertainty, and ambiguity that surrounds us. 

Second, we must practice deep gratitude with the people who are seen and not seen in our lives. Every day, a wide diversity of people are making things happen at work, in society, and in our direct lives. For example, we see the people who are putting the food on the shelves at the grocery store. Yet, we do not see the people who grew it, picked it, and delivered it to the store. They are just as important as the ones who stock it so we can buy it. All of these people deserve our respect, and appreciation. They are creating the infrastructure for us to do what we do in our lives. They, the seen and unseen, are giving us the capacity to cope, and, in time, work with all that is changing. 

Third, we need to redefine what is leadership. For many people, it is a philosophical framework that determines how they engage with others. And, I believe this is a very important way of defining leadership. Still, I also believe it is a pathway that one commits to, and lives over time. For over the course of one’s career, the definition and experience of being a leader changes. In the beginning, it may be about choices and decisions, but later it is about connections, clarity, and commitment. Because as we commit to the pathway of leadership, we end up making three important choices, namely being kind to all seen and unseen people, being respectful to all seen and unseen people, and being compassionate to all seen and unseen people. The philosophical framework is the beginning, but the commitment to the pathway is the on-going journey to effectiveness and collaboration. 

At the same time, let us remember that kindness, respect, and compassion play a vital role to being successful. The challenge is that many leaders do not do these three things very well. They forget that kindness, respect, and compassion are the building blocks of healthy relationships, and the elements for on-going engagement and commitment. I think this lack of perspective comes from thinking that being kind as a leader is a sign of weakness. We so easily forget that everyone is doing their best, many times in spite of all that is happening in their lives. We also forget that everyone has a life story that includes joy and suffering, clarity and pain. 

To be continued on Tuesday. 

© Geery Howe 2026

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Goodness Still Exists

“Pausing for self-awareness is like unlocking the doors to a series of rooms,” writes Kevin Cashman in his book, The Pause Principle: Step Back to Lead Forward (Berrett-Koehler, 2012). “While a reflective pause is the key to unlocking self-awareness, self-awareness in turn opens the doorways to authenticity, character, and purpose. Personal leadership growth is the ongoing process of being, and becoming a more authentic leader.” He then points out that “All real change begins with self-change; pause is a catalyst of self-change.”

Ron Adner in his book, The Wide Lens: A New Strategy For Innovation (Portfolio/Penguin, 2012), writes: “No matter your situation, your success depends not just on your own efforts but also on the ability, willingness, and likelihood that the partners that make up your innovation ecosystem succeed as well.”

Right now, when I pause, reflect, and open the doors to a greater understanding about authenticity, character, and purpose, I recognize that successful change depends on the ability, willingness, and the likelihood that my partners can also be successful. And when I see the world from this wider perspective, I recognize and realize that, in the midst of all that is happening locally, nationally, and globally, goodness still exists, beauty still abounds, and compassion and kindness are still the right choices to make, no matter the situation before us. 

Furthermore, when we choose to lead with love and mutual care, it is a blessing for both the care giver and the one being cared for. It also is a wise choice that transcends pain, cruelty, and struggle. It is an origin moment, where a new story can be told, and it is a genesis moment for a new beginning. The sum of these two actions creates a foundation from which to build or rebuild a culture of integrity, respect, and interdependence. 

As Margaret Wheatley reminds us, “Thinking is the place where intelligent actions begin. We pause long enough to look more carefully at a situation, to see more of its character, to think about why it’s happening, to notice how it’s affecting us and others.” Then, she notes, “We must encounter the truth of this world and let it change us. We must become familiar with despair and depression, not as destination but as recurring emotions on our journey. And we must never lose sight of our true destination, discovering our path of contribution. The Chaos Cycle doesn’t end in chaos. It ends with heightened clarity and intensified meaning for how we can use our power and influence to serve this time. We can trust this path - it leads us out of the dark woods into a bright clearing where we realize what is truly meaningful in our lives and work.”

And what is the role of a leader in the midst of all that is taking place? “Leaders remind people what is important,” explains the late Warren Bennis. They support us when we pause and reflect. They remind us about the importance of authenticity, character, and purpose. They point out the importance of building a network of partners, allies, and confidants. They help us to remember that goodness still exists, beauty still abounds, and compassion and kindness are still the right choices to make, no matter the situation before us. While the path before us is complicated and complex, clarity, commitment, and connections will always lead “us out of the dark woods into a bright clearing where we realize what is truly meaningful in our lives and work.” 

So, this week, pause, reflect, and engage in self change. Then, support others to join you in this important, transformational process. The world needs you to be your best self, and your friends, family, and community need this, too. 

© Geery Howe 2026

 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Community Is The Answer

Introduction

“The most important thing that we face in the 21st century,” writes William Gaylin, “is a rediscovery of community.” In our fragmented and balkanized world, I think the value and importance of rediscovering community, and the building of community is vitally important. As Parker Palmer notes, “Community doesn’t just create abundance - community is abundance. If we could learn that equation from the world of nature, the human world might be transformed.” And the need for transformation is so powerful and important at this time period. 

I also think one of the current challenges before us is that many people have lost the memory of being a part of a community. They have forgotten what it feels like to be connected by shared interests, location, identity, or goals. They have forgotten what it feels like to have a sense of belonging, mutual support, and collective abundance. 

Now, some of this reflects the massively disrupting impact of a global pandemic that we experienced not too long ago, and, at the same time, the decline in membership of institutional, religious, and civic community groups. But, I believe this problem reflects something much larger than what has taken place in the last five years. This loss reflects an emerging generational problem where individualism is seen as more important than having a sense, and being a part of a community. 

When I reflect on this subject, I am reminded of the research by Brenè Brown in her book, Braving The Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone (Random House, 2017). In it, she shares, “… the research participants described a diminishing sense of shared humanity. Over and over, participants talked about the concern that the only thing that binds us together now is shared fear and disdain, not common humanity, shared trust, respect, or love.” She goes on to state that “we must learn how to trust ourselves and trust others.” I concur with this insight, and call upon us, individually and collectively, to rediscover our common humanity, and our shared trust, respect, and love. But, in order to do this work, we are going to need to repair, rebuild, and reimagine the idea of community. 

We Need To Scale Across In Order To Build Community

In the beginning of this work, I am reminded of the importance of building and maintaining relationships, and a book by Margaret Wheatley and Deborah Frieze called  Walk Out Walk On: A Learning Journey Into Communities Daring to Live the Future Now (Berrett-Koehler, 2011). As they write, “In the context of community change, our work is to foster networks of relationships through which ideas and beliefs can travel, adapt, evolve, and grow. We’re not ignoring scaling up; we’re resisting it because we’ve found that for most communities, it doesn’t work. Scaling across invites communities to learn from one another and solve their own problems in their own particular way.” They then share, “Whatever the problem, community is the answer. There is no power greater than community discovering what it cares about. Only when we turn to one another do we discover the wisdom and wealth that is so abundantly present in us, our traditions and our environment.”

Clearly, based on these insights, building or rebuilding a sense of community is based on connections more than control. It involves discovering what we care about, and how to care for it once we have discovered it. And for this to take place, people need to understand something about becoming a community leader and a community builder.  

We Need to Become A Community Leader

Recognizing the importance of scaling across, Margaret Wheatley points out, “Sane leadership is the unshakable confidence that people can be generous, creative, and kind. The leader’s role is to create the conditions for these qualities to be evoked and utilized to accomplish good work…. other qualities are important, but these three are essential to develop trustworthy relationships free of judgements and biases, and to use everyone’s talents and perspectives in solving problems they care about.” What we often forget in trying to create a sense of abundant community is that leaders create the conditions for people to be generous, creative, and kind at the individual and collective level. They do not create these three essential qualities, but instead foster their growth and utilization. While this is a subtle difference, it also is a significant difference. 

As I learned so long ago, what you feed, grows. Effective leaders grow the conditions for this to take place by building on peoples’ diverse strengths and talents, recognizing when the seeds of community growth have started to sprout, and supporting people and social networks who are moving in the direction of deep and meaningful connections. Again, connections, not control, is the foundation of a healthy community. 

At the same time, these community leaders recognize two things. First, in order to feed the conditions from which community grows, we need to create time and space to share about our individual and collective, life experiences. “We do this by using processes that bring us together to talk to one another, listen to one another's stories, reflect together on what we're learning as we do our work,” writes Wheatley. “We do this by developing relationships of trust, where we do what we say, where we speak truthfully, where we refuse to act from petty self-interest.” By turning to one another, and by being fully present to one another, trust, compassion, and understanding is built.

Second, the best leaders also ask themselves a question suggested by Wheatley: “Am I becoming someone I respect?” Self-reflection is essential to being a community leader and to being a community builder. If we are not willing to reflect on our actions, it is too easy then to just default to judging the actions of others, or to attempt to control the actions of others. The building of trust starts on the inside before it is ever manifested on the outside. 

Charles Feltman describes trust as “choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions,” and he describes distrust as deciding that “what is important to me is not safe with this person in this situation (or any situation).” The root of that trust is our willingness to do the internal work of figuring out what is important to us, and being willing to trust ourselves as much as to trust others. For it is the combination of co-creating the external conditions for community, plus the internal work of becoming a person of respect that we turn to one another, and discover the wisdom and wealth that is so abundantly present in us, our traditions, and our community.  

The outcome of this convergence is the generation of an adaptive nexus, a term first coined by Dr. Scott Atwood. Here, we create, and experience processes that enables us to be adaptable, and to create adaptive solutions to challenges that call into question fundamental assumptions and beliefs. Over time, this adaptive nexus generates new ways of thinking, perspectives, and solutions. It changes how we relate to ourselves and others by challenging dysfunctional norms and by letting this dysfunctionality be challenged. 

We Need To Recognize Paradigm Blindness

One major problem as we create and engage an adaptive nexus is to recognize that we are encountering, inside ourself and others, paradigm blindness, namely an inability to recognize or accept new or different ideas outside our entrenched unconscious world view. This cognitive barrier creates an unwillingness and inability to accept any challenge to one’s core ways of making sense of the world, and thus causes an inability to create something new. 

As part of this problem of paradigm blindness, we need to discern the difference between perception and paradigm. Perception refers to the ways in which people interpret and make sense of information. Paradigms, on the other hand, are the mental frameworks that we use to organize and interpret that information. When we encounter paradigm blindness, we may need to help people at the perception level and/or the paradigm level. Because, in the end, the mental frameworks that people carry become the story they tell themselves about the information they are receiving. 

Therefore, if we seek to build an abundant and inclusive sense of community, we need to change the story people are telling themselves so that we can change the culture and the systems that support their paradigm blindness. Part of this work is the creation and sharing of new stories, i.e. new mental frameworks, and the resurrection of older stories that have transcended time. All of this takes deep listening, discipline and patience because we are reconnecting, rebuilding, and reimagining the definition of community. In short, we are restoring relationships that have been damaged, and, at the same time period, building new relationships.

We Need To Go On An Inward Migration

Yet, if we are committed to changing paradigm blindness, we have to go on an inward migration, a term coined by Alexis Wright, an aboriginal writer from Australia. As she explains, “When you move into the realm of your own sovereignty of mind by shielding yourself from the kinds of interferences that rob you of the ability to think straight, that sap your spirit, or block you from seeking and making your own judgement, then you are able to govern your own spirit and imagination.” This inward migration begins with a deep and profound level of reflection and contemplation, all focused on what needs to change about us more than what needs to change about those around us, i.e namely our community. 

As part of this work, we need to confront our unconscious defaults and biasses to new ideas and new paradigms. For example, if we truly seek to build a healthy level of community where we live and work, then we can no longer embrace the mythology of rugged individualism. Instead, we need to embrace the abundance found within community. The former is focused on independence and, to a degree, a scarcity mentality, namely there is not enough resources, time, space, etc. for everyone. On the other hand, the later is focused on interdependence and an abundance mentality, i.e. we are stronger working together, and we are better able to generate adaptive solutions to challenging problems. 

For this shift to an inclusive and interdependent sense of self within the context of community, our inward migration has three different levels. First, we must reconnect with our true self. Second, we need to connect with others. And third, we need to connect with the whole of our community.

John Paul Lederach in his book, The Moral Imagination: The Art And Soul Of Building Peace (Oxford University Press, 2005), writes: “How do we transcend the cycles of violence that bewitch our human community while still living in them? …. Transcending violence is forced by the capacity to generate, mobilize, and build moral imagination. The kind of imagination to which I refer is mobilized when four disciplines and capacities are held together and practiced by those who find their way to rise above violence. Stated simply, the moral imagination requires the capacity to imagine ourselves in a web of relationships that includes our enemies; the ability to sustain a paradoxical curiosity that embraces complexity without reliance on dualistic polarity; the fundamental belief in and pursuit of the creative act; and the acceptance of the inherent risk of stepping into the mystery of the unknown that lies beyond the far too familiar landscape of violence.” With the acknowledgment of our interdependency, Lederach explains that “Who we have been, are, and will be emerges and shapes itself in a context of relational interdependency.” In short, we can choose to “… demonstrate a capacity to envision and give birth to that which already exists, a wider set of interdependent relationships.” Then, when we take personal and conscious  responsibility for our choices and acknowledge our shared humanity, we build the internal, and subsequently, the external capacity to create and sustain community. 

We Need to Grieve While We Work For Change

As we move through this inward migration, we will need to “grieve while working for change,” as senior pastor Ottis Moss III notes in his book, Dancing In The Darkness: Spiritual Lessons for Thriving in Turbulent Times (Simon & Schuster, 2023). We need to acknowledge the pain, the loss, and the suffering that has taken place in the past, and that is taking place right now. We also need to acknowledge that grieving is happening at the individual and the collective level. Therefore, it is personal and complex. It also involves sorrow, shock, anger, and distress, all of which leads us to recognizing the importance of living and working within the context of a supportive and loving community. 

Margaret Wheatley understands this perspective when she writes: “Nothing in the universe exists as an isolated or independent entity. Everything takes the form of relationships, be it subatomic particles sharing energy or the ecosystem sharing food. In the web of life, nothing living, lives alone.” The key then is to create and maintain relational spaces where we can remember, share, and re-experience our interdependence in a positive and healthy manner

For at the core of this space, this vital adaptive nexus, is the sharing of our stories, our journeys, and our lessons learned. For me, the best place where this can happen is when we gather together around a campfire, a kitchen table, or a good pot of coffee or tea. Here, in this space where all are equal and all are respected, we can share our stories of challenge, transformation, and loss. Here, we can share our stories of resilience, goodness, and beauty. Here, we can share where we want to go in life, and the purpose behind these choices. Here, we can rediscover our shared humanity, and the foundation of love, respect, and trust upon which it is built. Here, we can give birth to that which does not yet exist, and nurture it for the days, months, and years to come. For it is in this special time and space that we remember and embrace the wisdom shared by John Paul Lederach, namely “You are part of something greater than you, even if it is not visible.”

In our fragmented and balkanized world, we must repair, rebuild, and reimagine the idea of abundant community. We must discover again what we care about, namely the people, wisdom, and love of living in community, and then commit ourselves to create the conditions for it to grow and to be maintained. This will require discipline, patience, and hard work, but, in the end, the journey and the outcome will be worth it. Because, as Wheatley and Frieze pointed out, “Whatever the problem, community is the answer.”

© Geery Howe 2026

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change