Monday, December 26, 2022

Constant Learning Results In Continual Improvements

Constant learning results in continual improvements. On one level, this seems elementary and a statement of the obvious. But as the late Richard Farson reminded us, “Nothing is as invisible as the obvious.” The desired outcome or result of constant learning should be continual improvements. For me, this is the root of operational excellence.


However, when most people in leadership positions focus on constant learning, this translates into reading books and articles, going to short workshops and long trainings, and going to seminars and conferences. I firmly believe these are a helpful beginning, but they do not always translate into specific improvements. They do not always translate into long term changes in mindset, skillset, or behaviors.


When continual improvements do take place, they are the result of structured actions, such as debriefing a workshop and choosing to implement a lesson learned over a set period of time. When we build the infrastructure for learning to be translated into improvements, then it will happen consistently over time.


“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn,” writes the futurist and philosopher Alvin Toffler in Future Shock (1970). I think our challenge is that all of us suffer from two things:


- Confirmation Bias: seeing what we expect to see


- Desirability Bias: seeing what we want to see


We have to remember that “… the purpose of learning isn’t to affirm our beliefs; it’s to evolve our beliefs,” notes Adam Grant in his book, Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know (Viking, 2021). Therefore, as leaders, we must continually evolve our beliefs. Clarity comes from learning, unlearning and relearning. As Grant continues, “The curse of knowledge is that it closes our minds to what we don’t know.” Therefore, we must embrace intellectual humility and curiosity.


In order to have the space, time and to feel safe in our learning, unlearning and relearning, we also need to take care of our well being. This is more than stress management. I think it is time we expand our definition of well being to include intra-being, i.e seeking internal wholeness and inner unity of mind, body and spirit, and to include the concept of inter-being from Buddhism, i.e. seeking wholeness and unity with others and the natural world. This is unity at the individual level and at the group level. It is the recognition and understanding of our common, shared humanity. It is the realization that we are interdependent with each other and with the natural world


True learning, unlearning and relearning is hard work. It is challenging work. It is powerfully courageous work. And it is something we must do day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year. Because the journey is the destination. 


Happy New Year! I will be back in touch with you on January 9. Until then, many blessings to you and yours as you wrap up this year and enter the new year.


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates

Monday, December 19, 2022

Work As One Team

There is a common phrase in the world of leadership, namely “work as one team.” It is quoted often when discussing culture. On one level, it is aspirational. But when asked what that looks like, the answers are pretty short or non-existent.


So, let’s unpack that phrase. The action word is “work”. The adjective is “one” and the key word is “team”.


Now pause for a moment and ask yourself this important: Why do people join teams? The question recognizes that before people work as one team, they have to join the team, not just be placed on the team.


The other phrase I often hear when discussing teams and culture is “there is no I in team.” However, people join teams because exceptional teams recognize and support the individuality of its players, i.e. the unique skill sets of each member of the team. 


As Marcus Buckingham wrote in his book, The One Thing You Need to Know ... About Great Managing, Great Leading, and Sustained Individual Success (Free Press, 2005): “To excel as a manager you must never forget that each of your direct reports is unique and that your chief responsibility is not to eradicate this uniqueness, but rather to arrange roles, responsibilities, and expectations so that you can capitalize upon it. The more you perfect this skill, the more effectively you will turn talents into performance.” As he further explained, “And teams … make homes for individuals…. The big thing is that only on a team can we express our individuality at work and put it to highest use.”


The key to helping people work as one team is to focus on creating a healthy team environment. For example, a gardener does not make the plant grow. They create the right conditions for the plant to choose to grow. 


When it comes to creating a healthy team environment, Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business (Jossey-Bass, 2012), defines healthy as minimal politics and confusion, a high degree of morale and productivity, and very low turnover among good employees. As he explains,“An organization simply cannot be healthy if the people who are chartered with running it are not behaviorally cohesive… If an organization is led by a team that is not behaviorally unified, there is no chance that it will become healthy.”


This week, focus on creating healthy team environments. It will make a major difference during the coming 2 - 3 years.


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change, Morning Star Associates

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Letter To A Leader Who Feels Stuck & Going No Where

Introduction


One morning, a very long time ago, I was eating breakfast and realized that I was done teaching high school history. I had accomplished all I had set out to do. Now, it was just a routine with little enthusiasm or interesting challenges. It was work and I wanted to be some place else. 


As I reflected on this new found understanding, I realized that it had been coming for quite some time. I liked teaching, but the spark of creativity was no longer part of the teaching process. Instead, I was just pulling out old lesson plans, because it was just easier to do this than to create new ones. I was managing the classroom challenges with students, but I was not that interested in the content that much or who was in the classroom. I was teaching, but more and more it was just a transmission process, moving information from my head to their heads. And then giving them homework that mostly focused on how well they guessed what I was thinking. In short, it was unfulfilling for me and the students. 


So, I finished out the school year and for lack of knowing what I wanted to do next, I returned to the trades. It was a safe choice, but not a good choice for me or our new family. I learned this one day when driving to work. 


It started when I was driving west on I-80 in an old car that we had picked up when I was done teaching. All of a sudden, I heard a most unique noise outside the car. It wasn’t the engine, which always sounded rough. Instead, the sound was coming from outside the driver’s door. I rolled down the window and I could hear a loud slapping noise. It was like someone was beating on the side of the car. Given there was no place to pull over and the traffic was somewhat heavy, I continued driving and the noise got louder and  louder. 


Then, I saw what was happening. The side, ornamental trim on the car was pealing away from the car. And as it broke away from the car inch by inch, it  would vibrate and then bang on the car. By the time I discovered this, there was a solid four feet piece of metal and vinyl trim banging away. I reached out the open car window and grabbed it. And just as I did this, the entire piece broke loose from the car. I had one hand on the steering wheel and the other was outside the car holding a six foot long metal and vinyl “spear.” Slowly, I fished it into the car and drove to work. 


That evening, upon reflection, I realized that I was falling apart, piece by piece. My mind, body, social/emotional, and spiritual elements of my life were all fragmented. There was no unity at any level. The part falling off my car was a great metaphor for my life. I had rushed from a job where I knew I needed to move on and ended up in a new job where I felt even more stuck, lost, and not sure where to go next. 


Furthermore, I also realized that I was living up to everyone else’s expectations. I was following their path for my life. I was living in the land of should and not stopping to pause, re-evaluate, and consider what was the right choice for me, my family, and my life at as a whole. In short, I had lost my life’s  purpose. To move forward from this place of deep inner struggle, I needed to find clarity. 


Rediscover Your Why And Your People


When the school year had ended, I finished cleaning up my classroom and I attended the normal mandatory, end of the school year staff meetings. I left teaching on a Tuesday and the next day I started working in the trades. There was no transition time and no chance to pause and catch my breath. Instead, I went from burned out to burned inside, namely feeling fragmented on the inside. Still, I pushed on for about sixty days, hoping things would get better inside and out. 


Then, in mid-August, after a horrible nightmare related to work, I woke up and realized I just needed to stop pushing forward. With the support of my wife, I gave notice that morning. Soon afterwards, I was unemployed. I had no idea where I was going in my life and what to do next. I just knew that I was on the wrong path and needed to go home. 


I took the first week of unemployment as “vacation” and spent quality time with my wife and our eleven month old son. I needed to get grounded in what was important in my life and with the people I loved and cared for the most. I needed to stop pushing forward and instead practice being present to the moment and the day. 


To help me in this process, I decided to start each morning of my “vacation” writing. I would head up to the second floor of our home and put a fresh sheet of paper into my electric typewriter. Then, I would write a letter. Each day, it would start with “Dear God. This Geery….”  And I would write until I had nothing left to say. Sometimes, this was for an hour or more, and other days it was for five minutes. The goal was to get my inner process out and on to a piece of paper. It was the starting place for me to rediscover my inner why, my inner truth, and my inner purpose. I can not say that I had a miraculous and brilliant moment of clarity during this time period. I mostly figured out what I did not want to do. I mostly grieved what I had lost, namely hope and clarity.


Over time and while doing various odd jobs, I came to understand that I needed to find allies and confidants who got me and understood my journey. I needed to build a circle of people who were natives, not just tourists in this land of inner struggle. And with faith and effort, I slowly found these key people. They became what I now call my kitchen table cabinet, a group of wise elders and support people who offer perspective and insights. With their guidance and unconditional support, I did rediscover a sense of clarity, my inner why and in time a renewed sense of purpose. It did not happen over night, but it did happen with the aid and support of others. 


Find Your Passion


When I left teaching, I swore I would never set foot again in the classroom. “Wild horses could not drag me back to that place,” I often told friends. Still, I did like teaching. And upon reflection and after much writing, I did believe I had a knack for it. In particular, I loved the moment when someone, who was learning something new, put all the pieces together and shifted from awareness to understanding. The proverbial lightbulb moment was thrilling. And I was always intrigued by why it happened for one student but not for another. 


As I expanded my circle of allies and confidants, more and more people suggested to me that I go back and get my masters degree. If it had been one person, I don’t know if I would have even considered this option. But when it became an emerging theme from multiple people who I respected and with whom I knew were not in conversation with each other, I started to consider it an interesting option. Finally, someone at church suggested I consider getting my masters degree in instructional design and technology, namely the art and science of designing learning experiences. 


Now, some would think that this would have been the tipping point, and I would have gone racing back to the university to get another degree. However, I did not do this. Instead, I thought about what another degree would do for me down the road. In particular, I thought about what it would be like on the other side of the degree. As the late Stephen Covey wrote many years ago, “begin with the end in mind.” And I had to ponder how another university degree would change my life. 


Over time, I realized that the degree would give me the language to teach things that I was interested in teaching and give me the ability to structure it in such a manner that made sense to myself and others. Furthermore, it had the possibility to answer the question of why one student had a light bulb moment and another did not. 


With this realization and deep interest, I did find my tipping point when the person from church, who recommended the instructional design and technology masters degree, offered to be my advisor given he was a faculty member in the University of Iowa’s College of Education, and in particular a faculty member for this degree program. Years later, I have realized that this more likely would not have happened if I had not been actively expanding my circle of allies and confidants, and sharing more of my personal journey to find my inner why and purpose. 


In the end, I did go for my masters degree and he did become my advisor, opening new doors for me as well as eliminating certain hurdles that got in my way. However, none of this could have been possible without me doing the work to figure out my passion and then digging deeply into what specifically within it was most interesting. And when I had this initial framework, I was able to build on this passion and turn it into a strength over time. 


Seek More Meaning, Not Less Stress


One of the first seminars that I created and taught was called “Putting Out The Fire.” It focused on taking the burn out of burnout. The interesting thing that happened  when I was teaching high school history and later when I was working in the trades again is that I was doing all sorts of stress management techniques to reduce my level of stress and burnout. And yet, I still burned out. 


I realized over time that practicing techniques without an overall structure to the work and the proper mindset to guide the work was like trying to build a house without a blue print or vision. It was doable, but not very effective. Something would be created, but it would result in a lot of fragmentation and misalignments. 


So, over the course of many years, I had to find an adaptive, holistic, and faith based mindset. I needed to practice healthy stress management techniques and I needed to do one other thing. Recognizing that I could not always control the things or people that were the source of the stress, I did, however, have the ability to make my life more meaningful. 


When I discovered this insight, it helped me tremendously. First, I realized that I needed to stay in touch with the people in my life who made it more joyful and special. Next, I needed to engage in experiences that inspired me and uplifted my spirits when I was struggling or feeling stuck. Finally, I needed to spend time with my faith community as they helped put things into perspective, especially when I was struggling about what to do next. 

 

The path to finding more meaning and less stress in one’s life is an eclectic one. It is not always clear cut and defined with road markers and signage. Still, the more you seek to build a meaningful life, the more you are able to discover it step by step. And this discovery is cumulative over time. 


The Path Forward


Coming to the realization that you feel stuck and going no where is a difficult and painful place to be. No one wakes up one morning and wants to feel these feelings. Instead, we want our work and our lives to matter. We want to make progress on things that are meaningful. And we want to work with people who are kind, respectful, and supportive. But sometimes in life, we realize that we are stuck and going no where. 


Then, with careful and thoughtful consideration, we must begin a journey to rediscover our why and our people. We must find our passion and create a life that is more meaning-filled, rather than just less stressful. And finally, we need to discover our purpose and live into our purpose. Then slowly, the path forward will unfold before us. When we choose to move forward with clarity and commitment, we will discover the new beginning we are seeking, and our lives and the loves of the ones we love will be richer for it. 


© Geery Howe 2022


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Monday, December 12, 2022

Culture Becomes Real At The Team Level

Culture becomes real at the team level. As Marcus Buckingham wrote, “all work is teamwork.” Teams “help us to see where to focus and what to do.” And, as we all know, people really care about which team they are on at this time period. Furthermore, a good culture is the sum of my personal experiences at work and my personal relationships at work, i.e. whether or not my one to one interactions with members of my team are positive or negative.


As Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall wrote in their book, Nine Lies About Work: A Freethinking Leader’s Guide to the Real World (Harvard Business Review Press, 2019): “… what distinguishes the best team leaders from the rest is their ability to meet these two categories of needs for the people on their teams. What we, as team members, want from you, our team leader, is firstly that you make us feel part of something bigger, that you show us how what we are doing together is important and meaningful; and secondly that you make us feel you can see us, and connect to us, and care about us, and challenge us, in a way that recognizes who we are as individuals.” They also explain that “… local experiences… are significantly more important than company ones.”


For us here today, we need to remember that local individual experiences create local collective experiences. And local collective experiences influence the understanding of corporate choices at the local level. This is one more thing that defines company culture for most people.


With the above in mind, we need team leaders who can communicate meaning and purpose, not just work, goals and outcomes. We need these same leaders to role model meaning and purpose more than just telling people it is important.  As Buckingham and Goodall note, “Instead of cascading goals, instead of cascading instructions for actions, we should cascade meaning and purpose. It is shared meaning that creates alignment, and this alignment is emergent, not coerced. Whereas cascaded goals are a control mechanism, cascaded meaning is a release mechanism…. Our people don’t need to be told what to do; they want to be told why.”


This week, put meaning and purpose at the center of what you do. Help your team become better prepared for 2023. It is just around the corner.


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Letter To A Leader Who Has Encountered A Life Changing Event

Introduction


It was mid-morning when the phone rang. I answered, and a long term client said, “Geery, have you got a minute to talk?”


“Sure, Tom. What’s up?”


“I was just diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. I don’t know what to do.”


“Whoa,” I replied. After a few minutes of discussing how he felt about this shocking news, I asked, “Does your wife know?”


“Yes.”


“Who else?”


“You.”


“Okay,” I responded. “It is time to activate your entire support system. First, call your priest for spiritual support. Second, figure out who and when to start. calling within your larger family. Next, sit down with your wife and come up with a plan about how you are going to tell the kids.”


Slowly, we walked through a short term plan to activate his support network at home, at work, and within his community. It was the beginning of a long journey. 


Once this short term plan was figured out, I said to him, “Now, what did the doctors actually tell you about your form of cancer?” He talked for a couple of minutes and you could hear the hopelessness in his voice. 


“That’s a lot to process, Tom. First thing you need to realize is that doctors talk about a diagnosis, a treatment plan, and a prognosis. The first is an explanation of what you have. The second is what they plan to do given what you have, and the third is what they think is going to happen. Make sure you understand all three of these things before moving forward. If possible, always bring someone with you to an appointment so they can take notes while you listen and process what they are saying. 


Second, accept the diagnosis, but do not get defined by the prognosis. Remember each person walks the road of health differently. No one can  fully predict your future and what will happen and when it will happen. 


Third, if you do not like or trust your doctor, get a new doctor and always get a second opinion. They work for you rather that you just working for them. 


Finally, asking for help is challenging but important. You and your wife have made many friends over the years. Let them support you during this time period.


Thanks for calling me this morning, Tom. I will be holding you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.”


“Thanks for being there, Geery,” he responded. “Time for me to call my priest and ask for his support. I’ll stay in touch for sure.”


When encountering a life changing event, the first steps are the hardest. Knowing who to turn to, and what to do next are complex choices. When we activate our support systems, we open up a vast network of help and assistance. 

From my experience of helping people through life changing events, I have learned that we are much stronger than we think we are. I have learned that the first days are difficult and disorienting. Still, with safe people and being within safe spaces, we can make it through the time of initial shock and pain, because we are being supported in mind, body and spirit by hundreds of people. They are with us in thought, in person when possible, in prayer, and in love. This we can count on as we move forward.


Rediscover The Meaning Of Health


Many years ago, I taught a one week, class about how to teach stress management skills to patients and clients at the University of Iowa’s annual summer school for helping professionals. My students were mostly counselors, social workers, and nurses. In order to get their CEUs and/or graduate school credit, I had to administer a final exam. After much reflection, I created a one question final exam: “Can a dying person become healthy?” The answer was “yes.” 


The words, health, healing, wholeness and holy, all have their origin in one word in old English. When we comprehend that the root of the word, healthy, includes the concept of healing, wholeness, and that which is holy, then the only answer can be “yes.” Health and curing are two different concepts. Healing, wholeness and holy are all interconnected. Thus, can a dying person discover or recover a sense of wholeness and that which is holy in the midst of their healing and dying? Absolutely yes! 


Having visited with thousands of health care professionals and engaged in my own healing journey and experiences, I know that healing is possible even when we feel broken by life’s challenges. 


When we encounter a life changing event, it is time for us to step back and draw on the complete definition of healing. With this perspective, we can move forward together through a difficult and transformative experience. As the old Haitian proverb goes, “after mountains, there are more mountains.” But that which is whole and holy is not lost in the mountains or along the mountains passes.


Your Life is Not Solely Defined By Your Work


My daughter-in-law is a former Emergency Department advanced trauma nurse and now is a critical care flight nurse who routinely travels with patients in the helicopter after an accident. Every shift, she deals with the worse accidents and the people in the most challenging situations. 


Not too long ago, she told me that “I see broken bodies every day at work, but I do not see broken people.” Sometimes when we encounter a life changing event, our body experiences trauma, physical and/or emotional. We struggle and we hurt. 


However, we must remember that we are more than just our physical body. We are the sum of our mind, body, heart, and spirit. And as such, we can be strong even in the midst of our pain and brokenness. Furthermore, we can draw on our faith to bring us peace and wholeness plus be surrounded by the love and support of family and friends. While these sound inconsequential, I know from personal and professional experience that they are not. Even in our most lonely and deeply challenging time periods, we are not alone. We are and can be held in a healing light, and love that transcends the trauma and the pain. One step toward this understanding begins when we build and define our lives by more than just our work identity. I know this from an experience I had many years ago.  


One year, I was invited to be a keynote speaker at a bank’s all employee dinner meeting. When I arrived at the event, I sat with the CEO, the senior management team and their spouses. Once seated at the table and as the salad course was being served, the CEO turned to me and asked the following questions: “What was your father’s and your mother’s names? Do you have any brothers or sisters? What is your wife’s name? Your children?” Over the course of the meal, we talked about our collective families and their names, our different heritages, and all of the things we did when we were not working. We never really talked about work or banking.


Then, when the time came for me to speak, the CEO stood up and introduced me to the group: “I would like to introduce you to the son of Fielding and Pat Howe, the brother of Sam, the husband of Jane, and the father of Ryan and Jacob.” From there, he talked about my family’s roots and even a touch about my grandparents. He ended his introduction by mentioning, as an aside, that I also was a consultant, executive coach and trainer in the fields of leadership, strategic planning and organizational change. And then he handed me the microphone and the floor to speak.


I really had a hard time speaking in the beginning because I was all choked up and my eyes were full of tears. No one before that or after that has ever introduced me in this manner. It was deeply moving because, upon reflection, I realized that he saw me as a whole person, not just someone doing a job. He defined me by my roots and by the things that are most meaningful in my life.


Furthermore, he did not define me by my work, my personal experiences of trauma, or my challenging dyslexia. I think he understood they were a part of my life journey, but not all of my life journey. In essence, this individual did not define me by my “brokenness” as much as my wholeness.  


And when we encounter a major life changing event, we should not define our entire life by the trauma we experienced. The event may change our life on so many levels, but we can choose our own definition of self. Remember my daughter-in-law’s perspective: “broken bodies, but not broken people.”


Confront Your Fear


“Have you got a minute to talk?”, she asked when I had answered the phone. I was surprised by the phone call and the request. She was the wife of a client of mine, and we had only met each other a few times over dinner. 


“Sure, Betty.  What’s up?”, I responded. 


“I am calling from the hospital.  Dick had a massive heart attack. He survived but is very weak. Once he could talk, he asked me to call you. He has a question for you. Is now a good time to hear his question? I can put him on if you are ready.”


“I would be glad to speak to him.”


“Thank-you, Geery.” 


And then, she hand the phone to her husband. 


“Hi, Geery,” said a weak voice on the other end of the line. 


“Hi, Dick. Sorry to hear about what happened to you. What’s the question?”


There was a long pause and then he said, “Will I be forgotten if I die?”


“No, Dick,” I responded. “You will not be forgotten. You have an amazing family and great parents. You have quite a few brothers and sisters plus their husbands, partners and wives. They will not forget you. If you were to die today, they will tell stories about you for many years to come.


Furthermore, you have worked hard the last ten years to create a better work place. You have focused on service, integrity and teamwork. And your people have responded so well to this work. You have built a solid foundation for serving people well today and into the future. Plus you have focused on succession planning so as people retire, qualified people will rise up and replace those who have moved on,” I responded. 


“Good. I just needed to hear that this morning. I am not afraid of dying now. They tell me I did it a couple of times before they stabilized me. I guess I am more afraid of being forgotten, and maybe a touch of living on the other side of this experience.”


“That’s normal, Dick. Now is the time to confront your fears and to say them out loud, but not to let them define you. Health and healing is never a return to a former lifestyle. It is all about moving forward and creating a new life. You have the fortitude and inner strength to do this.


“Do you trust your doctors?”, I inquired. 


“Absolutely,” he responded. “This hospital is one of best in the state.”


“Great. Then, partner with them. Follow their advice and counsel plus their treatment plan. And most of all, count your blessings.” I paused for a long moment and then said, “And tell your wife and children that you love them. They need to hear it, and I have found from my own life experiences that it is good to say it to them, too.”


He paused for a moment and said, “Got it, Geery. Thanks for being there this morning.”


“Sure thing, Dick.”


“Geery?”


“Yes, Dick.”


“I love you, man.”


“Thanks, Dick. I love you, too.”


And then he handed the phone to his wife. “Thanks, Geery,” she said.


“My pleasure, Betty. We all need allies and confidants when confronting a life changing event. I am glad I could be there for him, and for you.”


Then, she and I visited for a couple of minutes. When she hung, I got up from the chair in my home office, and walked through the house until I found my wife. “Hey, honey.”


“Yes?”


“I love you.”


“Thanks,” she responded. “That’s nice. I love you, too.”


Sometimes, we just need to share from our heart and be present to the ones we love the most. It makes a world of difference, no matter what is happening around or within us. 


Return To The Source


Jim Collins and Morten T. Hansen in their book, Great By Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck - Why Some Thrive Despite Them All (HarperCollins, 2011), write: “It’s what you do before the storm hits - the decisions and disciplines and buffers and shock absorbers already in place - that matters most in determining whether your enterprise pulls ahead, falls behind or dies when the storm hits.” I feel that it is the same in your life when you encounter a life changing event. It is the decisions, disciplines and habits that you all ready have in place that make a huge difference in how you deal with life when “the storm hits.”


One of the most important habits is your faith. We all practice this differently and we all engage with the Divine in our own unique way. The key is to cultivate this discipline and to build a faith community before you need it. 


I was sharing with an older couple one Sunday morning after our weekly service about how there are some Sunday mornings that I just don’t want to come. She responded, “Yes. I get that feeling too, but many years ago, we made a decision as a couple to always come to church on Sunday morning no matter what was going on in our lives. We decided to not make it a decision that had to be revisited every Sunday morning. Instead, we decided that we would always go. Good days and bad days, this one decision has made our life so much easier and better. We just don’t have to answer the question, ‘Do you want to go to church today?’ Now, we already know the answer.”


I reflected on her comments and remembered something that Reverend Tamra Tucker of The Crossing, a small and unconventional Episcopal community, founded in 2006 by young worshippers hoping for a new type of church, shares at the start of each service: “Every single piece of you [is] being welcomed into this space, not to conform to us, but to change us, and to lead with us.” 


This is the mindset I believe we need to have when encountering a life changing event. I believe we can not always control what has happened but we can choose how we are going to respond to it. From my own personal experience and from being present with others who have gone through it too, the first step to moving forward is to work on our own intra-connectivity, namely my own relationship with the Divine. Through thoughtful reflection, learning, listening and centering, we can find and nurture this vital connection. It is the source where wholeness, health, healing and that which is holy all come together.


This is why I participate every Sunday morning in our faith community. By worshipping together, I discover and rediscover my intra-connectivity to myself and the Divine. Then, I am able to do the outer work of interconnectivity with  my faith community plus with life’s journey and life’s challenges. The journey inward is part of the journey outward and onward. 


Focus On Progress Over Perfection


When we encounter a difficult and life changing event, it feels like everything around us, and at times within us, has collapsed or is collapsing. The world and ourselves are turned upside down and, as a result, we feel totally overwhelmed and lost. 


When I encountered a period in my life when I felt this way, a dear mentor of mine gave me some good and important advice. First, pause and take stock of the present moment. Where are you? Who are you with? Taking stock grounds us in the present moment, and helps us be here and now.  


Second, figure out what you are feeling at this present moment. Naming your feelings helps you to process what you are experiencing. 


Third, ask yourself this question: What is going right in this moment? While we may be feeling totally overwhelmed, we also may be surrounded by professional individuals who are trained to deal with life changing events like the one we are experiencing. Or we may be in a safe space and with safe people who are not judging us. Instead, they are supporting us as allies and confidants. 


When we become grounded on all levels, physically, emotionally and mentally, we can then choose a path forward that seeks progress over perfection. As a button I saw many years ago stated, “there is no way to recovery except through recovery.” Be kind to yourself and others as you seek a path forward in your recovery from your life changing event. 


Continue Planning For The Future


When we encounter a life changing event, it feels like our life has ended. And the truth of the matter is that, on one level, it has. Our old way of living, working, and engaging with life has ended. We are changed, whether we like it or not, by certain life experiences. They are defining moments. And then from that moment on, we see the world differently and we have a different perspective. 


But, at the exact same time, we have important choices to make. In the book, From Strength To Strength: Finding Success and Deep Purpose In The Second Half Of Life (Penguin Publishing Group 2022), the author, Arthur Brooke, opens with the following passage from Psalm 84:5-7: “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, until each appears before God in Zion.”


If we seek to move from strength to strength, then we must have the fortitude and depth of commitment to call upon our inner strength, and our inner courage. We then must connect this with all our outer resources and people in order to build a new future. This will be hard work and it will be challenging work, because we are redefining so many things on so many levels. However, with patience and with faith, we can pass through the valley of chaos and find a wellspring of hope, peace and clarity. We can go from strength to a new strength. 


© Geery Howe 2022


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Monday, December 5, 2022

What Does A Healthy Culture Look Like?

For 20 years, I have been sharing the following quote in trainings, consultations, and executive coaching sessions: “In productive companies, the culture is the strategy. Unlike other companies, productive companies know the difference between tactics and strategy. The difference is the foundation that allows them to stay focused and build remarkable companies. They have institutionalized their strategy.” - Jason Jennings, Less is More: How Great Companies Use Productivity as a Competitive Tool in Business, Penguin Putnam, 2002.


Let’s unpack these sentences. First, they have consciously institutionalized their culture. As we know, a culture is the sum of behavioral norms that are agreed upon, mostly by people in positions of power. Culture also is the stories we tell ourselves about “who we are?”, and “what we believe?”. As to stories, these happen at the local level more than the corporate level.


Second, on any given day and in any given company, 80% of the staff report to a front line supervisor and 80% of the staff work side by side with a small group of co-workers. For these particular staff, their front line supervisor and their co-workers, not you as a senior leader, are their world. For them, these relationships are “the company culture.”


Third, we know there are four levels of culture:


- interpersonal culture - peer to peer.


- operational culture - employee to supervisor.


- strategic culture - supervisor with senior team.


- organizational culture - the company as a whole.


When we grasp the important of what Jason Jennings wrote, then we, as leaders, need to improve the interpersonal culture and the operational culture. In summary, culture is the way people think and act. It reflects the sum of their experiences and beliefs that they have had to date. 


This week, answer this question: what does a healthy culture look like where you work? Then, share and discuss your answer with your team.


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Letter To A Leader Who Wants To Be A Better Leader

Introduction


“Everything is just so messy these days,” she shared with me during a recent coaching session. “I just feel overwhelmed and lost by it all. I know we can do better and I know as a leader that I can do better, but messy is just so frustrating.”


When we choose to lead people through the world of organizational change, be it continual improvement or innovation, things and people get messy. This is normal. But often, leaders feel it is some form of strategic or operational failure. They expect change to happen, but without it disrupting daily order and predictability. 


When messy happens, I just smile and remind people that if you want to make something better, like people, teams, systems or the company as a whole, messy is part of the process. It is just a reflection of being caught between what was and what will be. 


At the same time, it is normal for leaders to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. This does not mean something has gone wrong. It is just an indication that we have to do better as leaders and we may need to change our way of leading. 


Still, many leaders do not like messy, do not do messy, and really can not tolerate messy. So, they hit the proverbial “power through button,” referencing the work of Brene’ Brown. I believe this happens because we fear the judgement of others that often comes with messy, and we fear the loss of control and ultimately the unknown nature of messy. Thus, we power through it all and reassert control, order, and predictability in the hopes that messy will disappear and change will be over quickly. 


Not long ago, I talked with my Kitchen Table Cabinet, who are a collection of individuals who I turn to for greater insights and understanding, about messy and powering through it. The collective wisdom of this special group was best summed up by one wise elder who told me that powering through messy will always result in “many broken ends.” In particular, there was a collective agreement from this group that powering through messy will result in broken people, broken systems, and even a broken culture. 


Recognizing that there is a better way to move in forward in situations of this nature, I always advise leaders, who are worn and overwhelmed with messy change, to start first by focusing on becoming a better leader. It is not the easiest path, but I have learned that is the right choice each time, and it makes a major difference over time.  


Be A Positive Presence And Be Present


I had been invited to speak about leadership and organizational change at a large corporation’s leadership institute designed to prepare key people for future upper level management positions. Together, the group and I explored what are the characteristics of people worth following and what are the normal stages that people go through in the world of change. 


At around 11:30 am, the CEO and the COO both walked in, and sat down. There was an audible gasp from the participants as they reacted to the top two people showing up to engage in a discussion about the two articles that I had assigned as pre-readings before I came to teach. I even overheard one person say “What are they doing here? Someone must be in trouble.”


My response to the whole situation was just to smile. I had invited both of these people to come if they had the time. I also was their executive coach and wanted them to role model the importance of listening, sharing, and engaging with this group. I knew that what they had to share would create a great deal of clarity about the core mission of the company and its strategy given the current challenges within the market place. 


So, many times when coaching people in leadership positions who want to get better at what they do, I have to remind them that being a positive presence in the company and being present are two different things. The former recognizes that where ever you go as a leader you are sending a message about what is important and who is important. Your physical presence in a meeting will always change the meeting and influence the meeting. The key is to be a positive presence and to role model integrity, respect and kindness. 


The later recognizes that people in leadership positions are always busy. There are endless inputs and uncontrollable situations that arise. Rather than presenting yourself as a highly distracted individual who can not focus, we as leaders instead need to stay present to the people and the problems before us. By being present and by giving someone our undivided attention, we show that we care and respect their time and efforts. 


For many decades, I have asked people about the leaders and managers who have influenced them in their career. And I have asked them about what these people actually did that was so influential. Time and time again, I have heard people share about how, when visiting with these individuals, they felt these individuals were 100% present and focused just on them, even if it was for just a couple of minutes. The outcome of this moment of connection was that they felt respected and valued. I know this same feeling when I have visited with great leaders. I also know that people notice and appreciate this action. Being a positive presence and being fully present is a valuable first step to becoming a better leader.


Speak and Role Model The Language of Kindness And Respect


Long ago, when I was much younger, I was a maintenance man. It was hard work and, at times, dirty and unappreciated work. When ever I am in a company and I cross paths with a janitor or a maintenance man, I always pause and thank them for the work they are doing. I know from experience how their work and they themselves often go unnoticed and unappreciated. 


I remember one evening I was teaching a nursing CEU class on leadership at a small community college when I saw a janitor mopping the hall outside the classroom. I could not stop at the point to thank him for the work he was doing but I did acknowledge him before turning back to the class. 


After 40 minutes of speaking, I gave those gathered a small group exercise and headed out to the bathroom. On my way, I met the janitor who was still mopping the hall and I thanked him for his good work. He paused and said to me, “I like what you shared about being respectful and thanking people. I got a card once from my supervisor about how clean the place looked when I was done cleaning. It made a world of difference and it made me proud of what I do. I even still have the card.” 


I smiled and nodded in agreement. “It does make a difference when we treat each other well.”


“However,” he continued, “you missed something in your presentation.”


I was surprised by his comment and said “Oh, what did I miss?”


“Well, I had to mop the entire hall twice but once you were done, I realized that you did not tell them how often they should give positive feedback. My card is ten years old this month. Don’t you think people in leadership positions should show appreciation more than once every ten years?”


I agreed whole heartedly, and thanked him for his feedback. Once back from the bathroom, I shared the entire experience with the class before they went on their break. On the way out, numerous people paused and thanked the janitor for his work and for being such a good teacher. He just beamed and later give me a wink as he passed by my classroom door. Role modeling and speaking the language of kindness and respect is so powerful and so important. 


Watch Out For Default Patterns


“When confronted with the unknown,” writes Margaret Wheatley, “we default to the known.” This single sentence is mission critical to becoming a better leader. All of us, myself include, have default patterns for dealing with the unknown. Be they problems or people, we often choose known strategies and known forms of communication to handle complexity, difficulties or challenges. Sometimes, we do this consciously and some times we do this unconsciously. But in the end, a default choice is a default choice. 


Recognizing this natural tendency, many leaders seek to improve their awareness and understanding of their default tendencies. And I fully approve this rise in consciousness to make better choices and better decisions. But over time, I have come to realize that awareness and understanding does not always translate into real and sustainable, behavioral change. This only happens when we invest the time and energy to explore our defaults with mentors and coaches. These individuals can be a mirror and a a window into our choices, referencing the work of Jim Collins in his book, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap. . . and Others Don't (HarperBusiness, 2001). They help us to better understand our leadership choices and help us to more clearly see the world around us. 


And the best of these coaches and mentors do one more thing. They help us build a support system of allies and confidants who will assist us in our own personal and professional change process. They recognize that this support group will help people make better choices on a daily basis. 


Defaulting to the known happens because leader often have to deal with adaptive problems on a regular basis. Still with the right infrastructure of support and perspective, these default choices can change over time. We can become better leaders when we surround ourselves the the right people. Experience and support do make a big difference in this level of work. 


Be Open To New Relationships And New Experiences


“When was the last time you made a new friend?” I ask this question often when coaching people who want to become a better leader. The question often surprises people. Many have to think about it. Most come to the conclusion that it has been a long time since that happened. 


Many years ago, I realized that most of my friends were people I had met through my wife. A matter of fact many of our friends were clearly my wife’s friends. This stunned me. It had been a long time since I had made a new friend. While I knew many people through work, I realized that I did not have a lot of friends. 


I told my wife about this realization, and we began to brainstorm about how I could change this situation. Over numerous conversations, I came to understand that there were two people in particular that I admired in our faith community, and would enjoy visiting with at a greater level and depth. However, I was uncomfortable about how to approach them and start the process. 


“Just ask one of them out for coffee,” said my wife. 


“I don’t really like coffee,” I replied. 


“Try something new and invite them out for coffee. It’s only coffee.”


With a great deal of nervousness, I asked one of them named George out for coffee at a local coffee shop. While I am comfortable standing up in front over a thousand people to speak, I was really worried about visiting with one person over a cup of coffee. 


When we got to the actual coffee house, I realized two things. First, since I did not like coffee, I did not know how to order it in a real coffee shop. Second, I had no idea what we were going to talk about during our time together. So, I took the first step and said to George, “I don’t really know how to order coffee, and I really never have had coffee that I liked. What do you recommend?”


He looked at me for a moment and said “Let me order for you.” And he did. 


Once it was ready, we found a small table, sat down and I had a sip of the coffee he ordered. I was surprised. I liked it. And I told him, “This is delicious. Thanks for ordering it for me.”


He smiled and replied, “Your welcome. I think you have spent a lot of time drinking bad and/or cheap coffee. There is a difference between the good stuff that is brewed correctly and the bad stuff that mostly ends up tasting bitter and very burned.” I smiled and nodded my head. Then, we just started talking about good food and life. A new friendship had begun. 


Upon reflection, I realized that being open to new experiences and creating new relationships goes hand in hand. Furthermore, there is a difference between having the knowledge of something and having the knowledge plus the experience of something. If we seek to become a better leader, then we need to be open to both new experiences and new relationships. We have to create the time for this to happen, and then invest the time to make it happen. 


As Margaret Wheatley wrote years ago, “In organizations, real power and energy is generated through relationships. The patterns of relationships and the capacities to form them are more important than tasks, functions, roles, and positions.” The essence of becoming a better leader is to create better and more meaningful relationships. And this begins when we are open to having new experiences on a regular basis. 


Seek Continual Progress Over Perfection


“Perfectionism is a defensive move,” writes Brene Brown in her book, Dare To Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (Random House, 2018). “Perfectionism is not about self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system.” 


So many times, we define getting better at something as getting it right or doing it perfectly. We think the solution is all about working hard and working longer. However, the harder we push forward in this manner, the more we feel worn, hurried, and overwhelmed. We also do not achieve the desired end result of getting better. We just get more stressed, and over time unable to function very well.  


Still, the desire to get better is a worthwhile goal. It can result in a meaningful and fulfilling life as a leader. The goal is to begin by being a positive presence and to be present to yourself and others. Next, it is to speak and role model the language of kindness and respect, plus watch out for your default patterns. Finally, the goal is to be open to new relationships and new experiences. All of these done together over time can create a new beginning of you live and work in the land of leadership. 


And an outcome of doing this level of work is best summed up by Margaret Wheatley when she wrote, "If we as leaders can ensure that our organization knows itself, that it's clear at its core, we must tolerate unprecedented levels of 'messiness' at the edges." The same goes for us as people. When we know ourselves and are clear at our own core, then we can tolerate the messiness at both personal and professional levels of life. We can move forward together and make this world a better place to live and work for all people, including ourselves and our families. 


© Geery Howe 2022


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257