Make a Commitment to Personal Improvement

Since early January, I have been writing about lessons learned from mentors of mine over the course of my career. Today is the final one I want to share with all of you.

We were drinking coffee together and discussing the subject of retirement.

“Once I choose to retire,” I said to one of the older members of my Kitchen Table Cabinet, “I am just not sure what I am going to do with myself. For the last 30+ years, I have been running my own business, traveling, teaching consulting and coaching a wide diversity of people. I have been going, going, going and then some. As I pass the line of 65, I don’t have a clue of what a life of not working full time will be like. What are your thoughts on this subject?”

He paused, smiled and said, “You will really struggle during the early stages of retirement. The pace and scope of all you have been doing has defined your life and work on so many levels. You think that once you retire, you will just move on to the next level of doing. A matter of fact most of your career to this point has been all about doing. Doing this. Doing that. But in the end, it’s just more doing. It will be hard for you at first.

The problem is how you frame up the next step. You think about 65 as a line. Before 65, you work. After 65, you do more but different work. 

As for me, I don’t frame things up in that way. I have watched a lot of men and women retire. Most do not handle it very well but those who do, choose to move from the question ‘What will I do once I am retired?’ to a different and more interesting question, namely ‘What do I want to learn?’. In my opinion, that is the better question and the better way to frame up retirement.

So, Geery, after 65, what do you want to learn? When you retire, you will have more time to pursue this interest. Therefore, now is the time to start exploring.”

I sat there in that coffee shop not too long ago and realized I had been handed an important bit of wisdom.  While I have not found the full answer to the question, I am definitely exploring various options.

This week, I challenge you to ask yourself the question: What do I want to learn? And then, make a commitment to personal improvement. It will be good for you, your family and many others within your circle of influence.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

The Importance of Being A Role Model and Mentor

Over the course of our lives, we as leaders will have numerous opportunities to be role models and mentors to many different people. We also will have the opportunity to engage with role models and mentors who will impact our life at work and at home. 

For me, there have been many teachers, friends and mentors who have impacted my life in a positive way. I consider these individuals to be valuable and important role models in my life journey. When I think of these people, I think of the many ways they have supported, encouraged and inspired me. And I am deeply grateful for all they have done to help me become the person I am today.

As we all enter this new year, each of us must realize that we can be that role model or mentor for someone else. Each day, we have the potential and the capacity to make a difference in the lives of others. Each day, we can role model as a parent, family member, coworker, or friend. We can be the one person who helps another person see a new perspective, come to a new understanding, or realize they have the potential and talent to rise to the challenges before them 

Over the course of this winter, I am going to share lessons and insights I have learned from the people who have mentored me in my life journey. Each individual was key to a new way of thinking and living. Each gave me something that I have carried forward to this day.

But this morning, I ask you to pause and realize that you could be that one person in someone else’s life. You could be the catalyst and source of support which completely transforms another person’s life. And remember, it is not always what you do but how you do it that is the foundation for this transformation. Sometimes it is just your presence, your showing up, listening and being attentive to another, that is the most powerful gift of all.

As Kevin Cashman wrote many years ago, “leaders get what they exhibit and what they tolerate.” My challenge to you is to be the role model you wish to see in the world. And my other challenge to you in this new year is to thank all those who have role modeled and mentored you to date. It is time we as leaders realize that a single person can make a profound and positive difference in the life of so many other people.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

How do leaders be both bold and brave during difficult times? - part #1

When working in these unique times, we need to be bold and brave in spite of all that is happening around us. Boldness requires us to not be afraid of the difficult situations before us. Brave requires us to have the courage to face the challenges of this time. Bold and brave leaders are transformational leaders.

When I think of transformational leaders, I think of the work of Bennis and Nanus who say that these kinds of leaders are managers of meaning, attention, trust, and self. 

But, when I reflect on the transformational leaders I have met and worked with, I have observed that they role model executive presence and compassion on a daily basis. Executive presence begins with self awareness about one’s appearance, words, physical health, and body language. However, it is greater than just self-awareness

Leading with executive presence means being confident and calm in spite of external circumstances. Having inner clarity creates confidence in others to follow. It also means leading with inner clarity rather than external ego.

Leading with executive presence starts with showing up and being clear on the inside. It requires us as leaders to give our complete attention to others and being mentally present when we do it. It also means understanding that others read our reactions and actions very carefully, not just our words. In essence, executive presence is that rare combination of being confident and calm plus being present and attentive. 

Upon further reflection, I believe there is a relationship between executive presence and compassion. Compassion from Latin means “to suffer with.” It is an emotional response of sympathy and a feeling and desire to want to help. Compassion arises from an open heart. It requires us to show up and pay attention to all that is needed.

Executive presence also requires us to understand the difference between self-help and self-knowledge. Self-help is being able to achieve something on one’s own. Self-knowledge is understanding oneself or one’s own motive or character. For us to stay humble and role model executive presence as leaders, we need to know the limits of our knowledge and to realize we can become misguided by incomplete information.

It also requires us to recognize that there are always two models at work in the world of leadership. The mechanical model sees everything as systems and replaceable parts. The gardening model focuses on the culture/environment around those serving and tries to create a more favorable environment for proactive growth. From my perspective, leadership and management based on a mechanical model has the potential to result in leadership and management without a soul. There is the potential for no presence, attention, kindness, or compassion.

When leaders embrace the gardening model, then leadership becomes a craft from German word, kraft, which means “the power that comes from knowing.” Here, leaders learn to be leaders not only by being taught, but by doing it, and by being mentored. This is where you have to get “a feel” for it.

Furthermore, this kind of leadership requires people to be a part of a community, namely a group of knowers who pass along their knowledge in a step by step way from simple to complex.

Finally, leadership also is an art, because like true art it is based on the interaction between the artist and the subject/object, i.e. the follower. It is learned by knowing when to speak up and when to be quiet, and by knowing where to look and what to avoid.

This week, reflect on executive presence, compassion and the gardening model of leadership. Find your community of fellow leaders and embrace the journey of sharing, listening and reflecting. It will make a world of difference.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

How do leaders cope with prolonged uncertainty and having too much to do? - part #2

When working through prolonged uncertainty and having way to much to do given the time before you, it is important surround yourself with the right people. I wrote earlier this fall about the importance of having the right people on the right seats on the bus. To build on that line of thought, I believe it is time we stop retaining people who routinely mess things up. These individuals consistently take your time and focus away from the right things, operationally and strategically. Jim Collins in his book, Good to Great notes that having the right people in the right places reduces distractions and increases engagement.

On a parallel track, having the right people around you creates the conditions for right action. I have learned over the course of my life that action is commonplace, and right action is not. We as leaders want people to do the right thing at the right time with the right information for the right reasons. What I have learned is that the right people bring something unique to the right action equation, namely more allies who role model the core philosophy of the company, and more people who offer a collective commitment to always doing things better.

Finally, we need allies and mentors in our lives who will help us rediscover our internal strength. At the Spring 2016 From Vision to Action Executive Roundtable, I talked about the importance of separating role from self. Many commented to me that this was a helpful reminder. Today, I want to go further than that.

Now, I believe we need to further develop our non-work identities, because more and more people in leadership positions are becoming solely identified by their work. As Erin Reid and Lakshmi Ramarajan write in their article “Managing The High Intensity Workplace,” Harvard Business Review, June 2016, we need to develop our “civic self, an athletic self, a family-oriented self.” With this level of wholeness, we gain greater perspective and capacity to handle life’s challenges.

This week, remember the advice of  Gary Keller with Jay Papasan in his book, The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results, Bard Press, 2012: “What you build today will either empower or restrict you tomorrow.” It is time to build for a better tomorrow.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

How Successful People Manage Life - part #3

Over the last couple of weeks in this blog, I have been writing about how successful people manage life. Let’s review some key points.

First, successful people take 100% responsibility for their journey. Life may offer tremendous personal and professional challenges and difficulties, but successful people do not expect others to solve their problems. Instead, they proactively seek out mentors, friends, and routine coaching. This depth of visiting gives them fresh perspective and clear insights. During this time of sharing, they filter out peer pressure and popular opinions, and instead assess their own passions, skills and convictions. They also courageously act upon the feedback they receive from their mentors.

Second, they create a family culture more than just a set of family systems. They eat dinner together nearly every night, and avoid “marginal costs” mistakes in their personal and professional lives. 

Third, they are humble, and regard everyone with a high degree of respect. They do not put other people down to feel good about themselves.

Finally, they aim to be faithful, not perfect. They are faithful to those they love and faithful to what they believe.

It is the combination of the above with the other parts I have mentioned over the last couple of weeks in this blog that make certain people successful in a holistic manner rather than some one who is successful at work but continually looses at home.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

A Key to Performance Coaching

James Kouzes and Barry Posner write in their wonderful book called A Leader’s Legacy, Jossey-Bass, 2006, that “When we choose to lead every day, we choose to serve. Leading is not about what we gain from others but what others gain from us.”

Every day people are working hard and putting in long hours to get done what needs to be done. Most employees, like their supervisors, are stretched by the pressure to meet these expectations and most want to do a good job even if factors beyond their control prevent them from achieving this on a regular basis. Furthermore, most people are struggling to balance all of their work commitments with their home commitments.

In the midst of these challenges, I am a firm believer that Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman in their book, First, Break All The Rules: What The World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently, Simon & Schuster, 1999, were right when they wrote “People don’t change that much. Don’t waste time trying to put in what was left out. Try to draw out what was left in. That is hard enough.” I also agree with the above authors that a “manager’s role is the ‘catalyst’ role,” namely to “speed up the reaction between the employee’s talents and the company’s goals, and between the employee’s talents and the customer’s needs.”

Yet, when we set clear expectations, motivate people to meet them and develop them for future challenges and opportunities, we, as leaders and managers, need to remember that some people do not have the skill set or know how to achieve certain goals. And thus, every day we need to coach people on their performance.

One thing I am noticing this winter is how few executives truly spend time on relationship building as part of performance coaching. These leaders are in numerous meetings every day and there often is a line of people waiting to meet with them in between these meetings, but on most days this is nothing more than technical and adaptive problem solving. It is common and normal work for a senior executive, but it also can be difficult, burdensome and tiring. Still, this is not relationship building.

Relationships are built on shared experiences and extremely good listening. They begin with someone investing the time and energy to learn another person’s stories and to understand their history. It is not fast and yet it is very important because if the purpose of leadership is “to mobilize others to serve a purpose,” a concept that Kouzes and Posner suggest in the aforementioned book, then we must realize that this depth of motivation comes from having an authentic and respectful relationship with another. It does not come from a contract or being present at a weekly meeting. It comes when we know another and understand another to the degree that we are willing to serve another.

As I move through these first months of 2011, I also note that more and more people want to discuss their whole life, not just their work life. They seek a depth of relationship where they can be seen as whole people rather than as fragmented individuals moving paper from one side of the desk to another while simultaneously filling in small cells on spread sheets in a computer. They seek to be inspired rather than overwhelmed.

In a fast paced, 3G moving to 4G broadband world, we are discovering that we have lost touch with our mentors and sometimes even ourselves. This winter and this spring, I strongly encourage you to spend more time building relationships with your key people and to learn their history and stories. Then, when possible and appropriate, share your own. It is time to coach the young and the old, to build and maintain community, and to recognize that fast is not always effective.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates # 319 - 643 - 2257