A Clearness Network
Once we grasp that we are in constant evolution, we will need a mirror, a window, a sanctuary, and a clearness network in order to listen better to our inner voice. Jim Collins in his book, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap. . . and Others Don't (HarperBusiness, 2001), writes that the best leaders “look out the window to attribute success to factors other than themselves. When things go poorly, however, they look in the mirror and blame themselves, taking full responsibility.” On the other hand, poor quality leaders “looked in the mirror to take credit for success, but out the window to assign blame for disappointing results.” The combination of the two, namely a metaphorical window and mirror, create the capacity for self-inquiry and self understanding.
Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky in their book, Leadership On The Line: Staying Alive through the Dangers of Leading (Harvard Business School Press, 2002), write that leaders need to “distinguish role from self,” and understand that “you have control over your self-worth.” As part of this level of work, they encourage leaders to “seek sanctuary…. a place of reflection and renewal where you can listen to yourself away from the dance floor and the blare of the music.” For them, the dance floor and the blare of the music are their metaphors for the busy nature of our day to day activities.
I agree with these authors about the importance of a mirror, a window, and a sanctuary. Each can play a role in clarifying our thoughts, perspectives, and understanding about ourselves and our lives. From my experience, I would add one more element, namely a clearness network.
In the Quaker tradition, there is something called a clearness committee. As Parker Palmer with the Center for Courage & Renewal writes, “The function of the clearness committee is not to give advice or fix people from the outside but rather to help people remove the interference so that they can discover their own inner wisdom.” These committees are the gathering of a trusted group of people, e.g. advisors, friends and family members. This communal approach to discernment “protects individual identity and integrity while while drawing on the wisdom of other people.”
I call my clearness network, my Kitchen Table Cabinet. They are a group of trusted friends and experienced professionals I turn to in order to gain fresh insights, and thoughtful perspectives on a diversity of issues. In particular, I have learned over time that this group will ask me questions that I had not thought to ask myself and they will ask me questions that stop me in my tracks and make me think deeply about something from various angles. I invest regular time and energy in maintaining and cultivating these relationships. I visit with them a couple of times each month because I understand that the depth of sharing is a two way street. I need to be present to them as much they are present to me.
Ron Heifetz, Alexander Grashow, and Marty Linsky in their book,. The Practice of Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World (Harvard Business Press, 2009), note that in order to thrive as a leader, an individual needs to grow “your own personal network outside of the system you are trying to change.” We need to “talk regularly with confidants, people outside the environment in which you are trying to lead adaptive change, who are invested in you, not the issues you are addressing.” When you “anchor yourself in multiple communities,” you can adapt and be resilient on various levels. I think the same can be said of anyone, whether or not they are a leader or a manager. With a clearness network, one is well prepared for today and the future. One can not easily build such a network in the midst of major life challenges. It is always best to be prepared rather than trying to prepare when difficulties arise.
Find Your Outer Voice
As we listen to our inner voice, understand our inner dialogue, and engage regularly with a clearness network, we also need to find our outer voice. Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, wrote another book called The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness (Free Press, 2004). The 8th habit focused on finding your voice and inspiring others to find theirs.” Covey defined the voice as a “unique personal significance…. it is the nexus of talent, passion, need and conscience (that still small voice within that assures you of what is right and that prompts you to actually do it).” I like how Covey connects listening to the inner voice and finding your outer voice. I appreciate that he understood that the two elements were each influencing the other.
There is one part that I wish Covey would have written more about when it comes to the transition from listening to “that still small voice within” to speaking our truth with our outer voice, namely the importance of speaking within safe and respectful spaces. While every one has the potential to speak up, many do not because the environment within which they want to share is not safe or respectful. Therefore, silence is chosen in order to not become a target of violence or harassment.
However, if we understand the importance of creating and maintaining safe and respectful spaces, then we must understand the importance of inclusiveness, namely the recognition that we must never create an environment where people need to hide their true identities or attempt to fit in. This can happen when we realize that each of us belongs just the way we are. This happens when we understand that each of us are unique. When a home or work environment is based on non-violence, unconditional and loving kindness, plus compassionate acceptance, we are then able to listen inwardly and speak our truth outwardly in a positive and productive manner.
Go Forth Into The Unknown
“How do geese know when to fly to the south?,” writes Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. “Who tells them the seasons? How do we humans know when it is time to move on? As with migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown.”
Given the importance of authenticity in life and in work, each of us must listen to the voice within. When we choose to actively engage in this inner dialogue, we understand that centering and holding the quiet is the first step to listening. Next, we realize that we are constantly evolving. Our best self today is going to change. And so too will our inner voice. To help us in this inner listening process, we need a mirror, a window, and a sanctuary. We also need a clearness network of confidants who ask us important questions and share thoughtful insights. Finally, we need to take what we hear on the inside and, when possible, share our clarity on the outside. Our outer voice needs to be found. It also has the potential to inspire others to speak up. Still, safe and respectful home and work environments make a big difference in this process. Unconditional and loving kindness is a important foundation for sharing.
As we all know, geese will fly south each winter. The seasons will turn, and the sun will rise each morning. If we seek to go forth into the unknown of each new day, having the capacity to listen to that still small voice within can be transformational to the entire journey.
© Geery Howe 2024
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