Keep An Open Heart
“The most difficult work of leadership involves learning to experience distress without numbing yourself,” write Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky. I think this is not isolated just to people in leadership and management positions. I believe that the difficulty of living in chaotic times is to experience the feelings of chaos and the desire for order, and not to become numb from the combination of the two.
While “innocence, curiosity and compassion [are] virtues of an open heart,” note Heifetz and Linsky, I believe the first step is to keep an open heart. As the I-Ching, an ancient Chinese book on change, notes, “No revolution in outer things is possible without prior revolution in one’s inner way of being. Whatever change you aspire to . . . must be preceded by a change in heart.” And for this change of heart to take place, we need to be open to being changed. We need to be open to receiving guidance, insights and wisdom. We need to be open to personal development, which may come in the form of questions, coaching, or encouragement. It also may come in the form of reflection, allowing us to step back from the day to day, and to consider new directions, new patterns of living, and new ways of being present to the feeling of chaos and the desire to want to create order.
Mark Sappenfield, the Editor of The Christian Science Monitor Weekly, wrote: “What we choose to let into our hearts reshapes us, becomes a part of us in a way becomes home. If the snail carries its home on its back, we humans carry home in our hearts.” When we grasp the significance of carrying our home in our hearts, we understand that by letting new ideas, perspectives, insights, and people into our hearts, we are expanding our capacity to live more authentically and realistically. As poet Mark Nepo reminds us, “… when one heart speaks, all hearts fly.” And the goal is for all hearts to speak and to fly.
A Sense of Wonder
“If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children,” writes Rachel Carson, “I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.” When we feel like the entire world is going chaotically crazy, we can loose our sense of wonder. We can struggle with how to proceed.
Still, we can take small steps that over time can add up and make a difference. First, we need to clarify our intentions and build a life of choice rather than defaults. Next, we need to create three different networks and focus on proactive and healthy social engagement with these three networks. Then, we need to recognize that small gestures make a difference, and we need to make them on a regular basis. Finally, we need to keep our hearts open and reclaim a sense of wonder and gratitude in the midst of these actions.
As English poet and playwright, Joseph Addison wrote, “The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” All three of these elements will become clear when we do the inner work and choose to create a life of integrity, honor and respect. While the times we live in may be wildly turbulent and unpredictable, we, on the other hand, do not have to be this way. With clarity of direction and a healthy network of connections, we can move forward through these difficulties and be true to what we believe and how we want to live. As the poet Mark Nepo reminds us, “We are born with only one obligation - to be completely who we are.” And when we do this, we are transforming ourself, the ones we love, the communities within which we live, plus the rest of the world, too.
© Geery Howe 2024
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