Now Is The Time For More Coaching

For many leaders who are overwhelmed by the never ending COVID-19 situation, coaching has mostly defaulted to two main actions, namely telling people what they should have done and attempting to fix their problems. The result is a weakening of the supervisory relationship and the possibility of creating active disengagement by the employee. 

I understand why a leader would be choosing to act in this manner. He or she has reached their limit of how much chaos they can tolerate around them so their goal is to reduce disequilibrium and restore a degree of control, predictability and order in their circle of influence. However, the price of this choice is quite high because the person being coached can perceive these actions by their supervisor as signaling that they do not matter and that their job does not matter. As Patrick Lencioni points out in his book, The Truth About Employee Engagement: A Fable About Addressing the Three Root Causes of Job Misery, formerly The Three Signs of a Miserable Job: A Fable for Managers (and their employees) (Jossey-Bass 2007): “people want to managed as people, not as mere workers.”

When successful coaching takes place, a leader will focus on two categories, namely skills and knowledge based coaching or mindset based coaching which directly impacts their willingness and commitment levels as an employee to move forward through a challenging situation. Yet, upon significant reflection, I have observed that the best coaching happens when the person being coached feels the support of their supervisor and when the supervisor helps the person being coached put things back into perspective and subsequently understanding. Many times this act of support and realignment of perspective by the coach involves a tremendous amount of concentrated listening with the goal to create an in-depth understanding of how the person struggling comprehends what is happening around and within them.  

The other part of this successful coaching process involves listening and giving feedback rather than constructive criticism. However, we as leaders and coaches need to remember that right now people have a limited bandwidth for receiving feedback. Most employees are barely coping with the amount of on-going disruption and chaos in their work and home lives. They are are doing their best in a COVID-19 centric world and feeling exhausted by the constant lack of structure and normalcy in their day to day lives.

During this global pandemic, the best coaches I have visited with by phone understand one small but significant fact about coaching people. It all begins with the building and maintaining of trust. In the May-June 2020 issue of the Harvard Business Review, Frances Frei and Anne Morriss wrote an exceptional article called “Begin With Trust: The first step to becoming a genuinely empowering leader.” As Frei and Morriss explain, “In our experience, trust has three drivers: authenticity, logic, and empathy. People tend to trust you when they believe they are interacting with the real you (authenticity), when they have faith in your judgement and competence (logic), and when they feel that you care about them (empathy). When trust is lost, it can almost always be traced to a breakdown in one of these three drivers.” The article points out a variety of strategies if you are experiencing problems in any one of the three drivers of trust.

At the same time, Frei and Morriss also point out one more important thing about trust. As they write, “We’ve argued that the foundation of empowerment leadership is getting other people to trust you. That’s certainly true, but there’s one last thing you need to know. The path to empowerment leadership doesn’t begin when other people start to trust you. It begins when you start to trust yourself.” 

This is a major insight into great leadership and empowerment. And the best leaders recognize that the pathway to trusting one’s self is to have a variety of allies and confidants who can hear you, help you, and ask you thought-provoking questions so you are constantly creating a greater depth of internal clarity and understanding. When we as leaders want to unleash the creativity, talent and commitment to learning and subsequent action within our companies, then building trust at all levels of the organizations begins with creating a greater level of internal clarity and integrity.

I encourage all of you to read the above article during the coming days. I also encourage you to coach more, be more supportive and to be open to being coached more. With all that is before us right now, we need allies and we need confidants as we process our own thoughts, feelings and struggles during these most unique times.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Remember The Stockdale Paradox

In the midst of all that is going on right now, let us pause and remember that we are not the first people to face a significant challenge in the history of the world. Previous generations have experienced world wars, epidemics and even a depression which included a drought in the midwest called the dust bowl. While the numbers of people who can remember this are quite elderly, we must remember that there have been survivors of these past difficulties. Now, it is our time to stand up to these complex, adaptive challenges and to survive as well.

And over the course of time and history, there have been many companies who also have had to face major crisis events. There are numerous books filled with the fascinating stories about how they did this.

One book that is helping me to maintain perspective was written by Jim Collins and is called Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap. . . and Others Don't (HarperBusiness, 2001). In it, Collins writes about how good companies became great companies even in the midst of challenging circumstances. As he explains, “In every case, the management team responded with a powerful psychological duality. On the one hand, they stoically accepted the brutal facts of reality. On the other hand, they maintained an unwavering faith in the endgame, and a commitment to prevail as a great company despite the brutal facts.” He called this capacity to embrace a psychological duality the “Stockdale Paradox”.

As he explains, “The name refers to Admiral Jim Stockdale, who was the highest-ranking United States military officer in the “Hanoi Hilton” prisoner-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam War. Tortured over twenty times during his eight -year imprisonment from 1965 to 1973, Stockdale lived out the war without any prisoner’s rights, no set release date, and no certainty as to whether he would even survive to see his family again.” 

When asked how he survived, Stockdale replied, “I never lost faith in the end of the story…. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade…. This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - which you can never afford to lose - with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

Recognizing the psychological duality, Jim Collins writes, “The Stockdale Paradox is a signature of all those who create greatness, be it in leading their own lives or in leading others. Churchill had it during the Second World War. Admiral Stockdale, like Viktor Frankl before him, lived it in a prison camp. And while our good-to-great companies cannot claim to have experienced either the grandeur of saving the free world or the depth of personal experience of living in a POW camp, they all embrace the Stockdale Paradox. It didn’t matter how bleak the situation or stultifying their mediocrity, they all maintained unwavering faith that they would not just survive, but prevail as a great company. And yet, at the same time, they became relentlessly disciplined at confronting the most brutal facts of their current reality.”

When we as leaders embrace the Stockdale Paradox, we will lead with questions rather than answers, engage in strategic dialogue rather operational blaming, and we will own our decisions rather than finding fault with others’ decisions and actions.

Reading Jim Collin’s writing about the Stockdale Paradox, reminds me of the work by Ryan Holiday in his book, The Obstacle Is The Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph, Penguin, 2014. As he explains, “Every obstacle is unique to each of us. But our responses they elect are the same: Fear. Frustration. Confusion. Helplessness. Depression. Anger.” And all of us have been experiencing fear, frustration, confusion, helplessness, depression and anger during the last couple of weeks of social distancing and sheltering in place. COVID-19 feels like one massive obstacle that is impeding our actions and our choices on a daily basis.

At times like these, we as leaders need to remember something Andy Grove, former CEO of INTEL wrote: “Bad companies are destroyed by crisis. Good companies survive them. Great Companies are improved by them.” We need to think of COVID-19 not just as a problem or obstacle to our success as much as an opportunity to improve. We can improve how we work, communicate, collaborate and problem solve. We can improve how we serve our customers and our communities. We also can improve ourselves. This is not easy work but it is, nevertheless, important work.

First, now is the time to check your perspective on all that is happening around you and within you. You may not be able to control the big picture or all the elements within your company, your division, your department or even your team. But you can control your mind and your emotions. Now is not the time to panic as a leader. As Ryan Holiday wrote: “It’s a huge step forward to realize that the worst thing to happen is never the event, but the event and losing your head.”

Second, now is the time for right actions rather than just action. We need to remember that leaders get what they exhibit and what they tolerate. We need to be consciously role modeling clarity, thoughtfulness, compassion, and persistence. We should not tolerate disrespect, shaming, or blaming. We are all in this together and we need to stand together in it. As Ryan Holiday reminds us: “We forget: In life, it doesn’t matter what happens to you or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you’ve been given.”

Third, now is the time to focus on progress over perfection. Operational excellence happens on a day to day basis. We move forward step by step. It requires disciplined thought and disciplined action. And leaders have to be extremely disciplined right now. As Robert Sutton and Huggy Rao write in their book, Scaling Up Excellence: Getting To More Without Settling For Less (Crown Business, 2014): “Scaling requires grinding it out, and pressing each person, team, group, division, or organization to make one small change after another in what they believe, feel, or do…. When big organizations scale well, they focus on moving a thousand people forward a foot at a time, rather than moving one person forward by a thousand feet.” Now is the time to move a thousand people forward one step at a time.

This week, let us remember the words of Marcus Aurelius: “Our actions may be impeded . . . but there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

As always, we need to stay strong, stay healthy, and stay safe. I look forward to seeing you on the other side.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Great leaders have allies and confidants.

With the large number of Baby Boomers retiring, there is a growing need within large and small organizations to do a better job of developing their new leaders. Clearly, one element to this process is in-depth training. When new leaders all have a common language and a set of tools for how to lead people and manage change, the entire organization will have the capacity to better rise to the challenges before it.

However, there is another element to helping new leaders become better leaders. It is the understanding that great leaders have allies and confidants. Allies are the people who a leader counts on to make sure they can successfully execute the company’s strategies. These are the key people who will work closely with them and assist them in making sure things are done right. Allies have a strategic mindset and the capacity to execute operationally.

Confidants, on the other hand, are the people who leaders visit with to explore new ideas, examine new perspectives, and with whom they can share their worries, challenges and points of frustration. Within this relationship is the potential to gain fresh insights and perspective in order to become better over time. The best confidants ask important questions and assist the leader in thinking through what it is they are trying to achieve.

Our challenge as leaders, especially those of you who are leaders of leaders, is to make sure all new and current leaders are building a larger network of allies and are working closely with a coach or confidant who can help them gain fresh insights and maintain perspective in the midst of their current and emerging challenges. It is the combination of having allies and confidants that differentiates good leaders from great leaders.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Maintain Your Perspective About Work

Recently, I was talking with a client about a huge three year project. It involved solving many complex and complicated problems. In order to be both strategically and operationally successful, there would need to be changes made in key systems, structure, people and culture.

Some people involved in this project were eager to charge forward and make it all happen at once. Others, upon learning of it, would be very upset, consider it a waste of time and money, and resist every step of the way. And last but not least, there would be some who could care less about any of it. They just want to go to work, do their job, get paid and then get on with others things.

After this client explained to me the scope and the scale of the project, she asked me a question, “What do I need to remember as we begin this three year journey that I might not be thinking about right now?”

I reflected for a moment or two, and then said, “For now, just two things.

There is a Japanese term for this kind of work. It is called a 10,000 aspirin job. There are going to be a lot of headaches, unforeseen situations and numerous complexities. Some days will just be challenging, difficult and hard.

Nevertheless, there are two things that will make a difference in the short and the long run. First, build a very good team and a very good team environment. The amount of change you are trying to create is not done by individual effort. It will only be accomplished by team work and team clarity.

Second, remember the following insight shared with me many years ago: It’s only work if you want to be some place else. Even when times are tough and people are experiencing some headaches, the bond and strength of the relationships within your team will hold you and the team together. When people are part of a strong team that is making progress and making a difference, then they will not want to be some place else. They will stick to it and work to get through it.

In short, maintain your perspective about the upcoming three years of work. And when you get worn along the way, give me a call and we can visit some more.”

She smiled and thanked me. 

Every day as leaders, we need to create a work environment where no one wants to be some place else. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Real Support Can Be Transformational

I can remember the day just like it was yesterday. My wife, a very dear and trusted friend and myself were sitting around the kitchen table after dinner. The kids were in bed and we were sipping tea.

The discussion for the evening was me. I was struggling big time. The difficulties of my past childhood experiences in combination with the challenges of being a parent and starting a business were overwhelming me. All of my coping strategies were not working very well. I just did not know what to do.

So, one evening a dear older friend came over and sat down with us. I poured out all that was bottled up inside me. Feelings, fears, facts and more feelings came out. I told her what I was doing and what I was feeling. I told her how I was coping. And I took the risk to tell her how I was not really coping well with the pace, the pressure and the expectations.

Finally, I turned to our friend and said, “I don’t know where to go from here. What do you think I should do with all of this?”

She paused and replied, “You need to visit with someone on a regular basis who you trust and who you know gets it on more than one level. There is a time and a place in each person’s life where an ally and a confidante can be very helpful.”

Given she was an experienced counselor, she gave me the name and the phone number of someone who she thought would be a good match for me. I called them and began a powerful journey of better understanding myself and my life journey. The person who I am today reflects the work we have done together over the years.

I share this here to remind all people in leadership positions that having allies and confidantes in your life is essential to being able to survive the pressures of your position. There are times when we will realize truth of the old Zen phrase, “the fish will never discover the ocean”. We need people in our lives at work and at home who can help us discover the bigger picture and who can help us to navigate the changes once we do.

This week never forget that real support in combination with loving and truthful advice can be a transformative experience. Having a network of allies and confidantes is foundational to being a successful leader.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Count Your Blessings

It was a cold, winter morning as I boarded a United flight from Chicago to the east coast. I had been up before dawn and taken the first flight out of Cedar Rapids to the windy city. I was delighted that everything was running on time and hoping it would keep staying on time. 

Bundled up in my winter coat and keeping my head down as I entered my second flight of the day, the stewardess on board greeting me by say, “Good morning sir. How are you today?”

I responded with a typical midwestern answer of “Fine. And you?”

“Blessed beyond measure” was her answer. 

I was so stunned by her comment that I stopped walking. I straightened up, smiled, met her eyes and said “Thank-you.” Her three words were a sermon, a blessing, and a gift, all at the same moment. This summer I have tried to carry this depth of awareness as I go about my daily work. 

Over the course of my career, I have met many people who were going through intense and difficult life experiences. From the diagnosis of a terminal illness to divorce, from the loss of a child to the loss of faith, for these people waking up and getting out of bed is like climbing a mountain. They question whether or not it is worth the effort to keep moving forward given all they experience.

When they have shared at this level with me, I am humbled. If only others knew how much personal pain people carry through the land of organizational change. And yet I have learned one thing, there are miracles and blessings in the midst of it all. The smile of a loved one or child can be up-lifting. The kindness of a stranger can be transformative. The gift of time and compassion to truly listen and be understood. We often get so busy that we forget that these little things can be life-giving, hope rebuilding.

This week, spend time each day counting some of your blessings. Put it all back into perspective and realize that we are all blessed beyond measure, even in the midst of our hardest days in the land of leadership.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Wings & Roots

On the weekends, I go outside and listen to the earth.

During the work week, my days are very full. Some weeks I travel and teach. Other times, I am in meetings all day or visiting with people on an individual level. There are days when I am in the office, researching answers to problems, reflecting on lessons learned, or mapping out future presentations.

For the most part, I spend a lot of my time at work listening. I listen to strategic problems and operational challenges. I listen to issues about people, structure, systems, and culture. I listen to complex problems and complicated problems. I spend hours trying to figure out what happened and why. And then countless more hours, helping people figure out realistic solutions and effective strategies to move forward.

However, on the weekends, I step away from the computer, the e-mails, and the piles of paperwork. After my usual Saturday morning chores, I step outside and listen to the earth.

Here, in this world, time changes from minutes and hours to days, months and seasons. Here in this world, I listen to the wind. I listen to the plants. I listen to the calls of nature. 

In this world, I get to work with flowers and dirt, weeds and plants. In this world, birds and animals, the weather and the trees are all growing, moving, changing. The cycles and rhythms of life are all around me. 

And as this October quickly moves toward November, I rest in the knowledge that the five hundred plus tulips, daffodils, and crocus I planted over a week ago are settling into their new homes. They begin their journey to becoming spring miracles.

When I step outside and listen to the earth, everything comes into perspective. This morning I am reminded of the words of Hodding Carter who wrote, “There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots, the other, wings.”

All the spring bulbs I planted recently are focused on one important task, namely to put down roots. Roots to prepare for winter. Roots to prepare for spring. Roots to become what they are meant to become.

This past August during the later half of the month as I listened to the earth I realized that the seasons were changing faster than I thought. I was outside in the middle of the week rather than just on the weekend because nearly all of my clients were on vacation, in meetings, or helping their children transition back to school. A rare pause in the hustle and bustle of consulting and executive coaching. Everyone was busy doing something else, and I could step outside and shift out of work mode.

It was a sunny day. I was down on my hands and knees pulling out invasive weeds and some very persistent grass that was sure my flower bed was the better place to grow. I paused in all of the work to just enjoy the moment. It was then that I realized that the new green of spring and the brilliant green of full summer was changing into the dark green of fall. I could just feel the difference. With the last flush of flowers taking place all around me and some of the summer drought having passed due to recent rain, I could feel the plants putting down roots, reaching deep and growing stronger. They were preparing for the return of winter.

Right now, in a world filled with many challenges and complexities, we need roots. We need to feel connected to our families, friends, and community. We need to feel a part of meaningful work within the context of caring communities. We need to feel like our lives matter, and that we are making a difference.

At the same time, we need wings. We need to grow and continue learning. We need to rise to our challenges and integrate new ideas and perspectives. We need to see the bigger picture, to explore the far horizon, to comprehend the length and scope of our existence.

About three weeks ago, I was out back of our house cleaning flower beds and hauling the trimmings out to the field where our neighbor’s horses, two large Belgium breeding mares, live. With dinner plate sized hooves, I have to look up into their eyes when they come over to the fence, curious to see what I am up to and wondering if I will pick up fallen fruit from our apple tree and feed it to them. 

On this particular September day, I came to the gate and the horses where thirty feet away nibbling on some tender grass. I opened the gate and pulled in my little garden way cart. I often dump the flower bed trimmings under a nearby walnut tree where the horses like to stand in the afternoon shade before heading to the barn for the evening. They like to push the garden trimmings around with their hooves and eat the tender bits.  

I looked at the mares as they moved further away to the east and came on into the field. As I dumped the load under the walnut tree, I looked up just in time to see the younger mare trot out the gate, heading west. I dropped the cart and sprinted after her. I knew I had to get in front of her to stop her forward progress. She went around the north side of vegetable garden, heading toward the apple tree. I raced around the south side of the garden and we meet on the western edge. 

I stopped. She stopped. I raised my arms and said “No. Back into the field with you.” 

I slowly approached and she backed up a step. I stepped forward one more time and she turned tail and galloped toward the gate just before the other mare escaped. Then, the two of them then raced into the field at a full, big horse gallop, kicking their heels and throwing clods of dirt in all directions.

When they stopped in the middle of the field, the younger mare looked over her shoulder at me. I could have sworn she was smiling, and that the two of them were giggling. I paused and picked up my cart. I walked back and closed the gate. Then, I watched them as they meandered over to the new pile of greens under the walnut tree, looking for the tender bits. By then, all three of us were smiling.

In world where busy is the new definition of success, we actually have few adventures anymore. We instead have full days followed by full days followed by even fuller days. We are connected to our flat devices twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. We get so wrapped up in trying to get so much done that we actually don’t experience the miracle of living. We actually don’t have many wing or root experiences anymore; we just have stuff to do.

So, on the weekends, and even some days after work, I go outside and listen to the earth. 

This fall, I watch the big V’s of Canadian geese migrating to the south. I notice that the blue jays have started to fly together in small groups from tree to tree. A dear friend of mine tells me the juncos have come down from the north to over winter in the more milder climate of Iowa. I notice that the hummingbirds have migrated south and the gold finches have gone that way too.  

And I slowly move out of living life by minutes and hours and back into the world of days, months and seasons, I keep thinking to myself we all need roots and wings. We all need big adventures where at the end we have a smile on our face, joy in our heart, and the blessing of being alive. We all need to find a place where life is meaningful and the community is caring.

It all begins with wings and roots… roots and wings.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

How do leaders on-board the next generation of high-growth opportunities while managing daily operations? part #1

I had been called in to figure out why one key department was constantly not functioning well. There was urgency to the situation because a major acquisition was coming. To be understand the situation, I visited with the CEO, COO, SVP, HRO, and the department head over the course of one day.

That night, over dinner, the HRO said to me, “the more people talk about this problem department, the more I am confused.”

“I agree”, I replied, and thought to myself the following quote by Konrad Adenauer: “We all live under the same sky, but we do not all have the same horizon.”

The problem in this situation was that all involved were zooming in to fix “the problem” rather than zooming out to gain perspective. My starting place was to ask a series of big picture questions:

- What is the purpose of this department?

- What are the goals of this department?

- What are the KPI’s of this department?

- What are the expectations related to performance within this department?

You could have heard a pin drop at the table that evening as I shared the answers I had gleaned. Not a single individual was on the same page.

When we step back and look at the bigger picture right, we realize that we are living in a period of “profound disruption”, a new Margaret Wheatley phrase. We are seeing the deification of numbers and data, and yet are not seeing clarity about the difference between data and useful information. We also are seeing communication without connections and the rise of polarization. In the midst of all of this, exhausted professionals want to make a difference but are stymied by factors beyond their control or impact. The outcome of this reality is that now, more than ever, many people are considering and others are walking away from the leadership table. As they report to me, it’s just too much work.

Meanwhile, everyone is wanting to grow their organization. They want to serve more people, do more good work, and make a difference in the lives of those who are serving. Few leaders understand that with growth, distractions and complications multiply.

At the same time, the challenge of on-boarding new ideas, which would generate this desired growth, is that people want to solve all the problems and standardize all the processes before action. This is just not possible. We forget that solving problems creates more problems

Finally, operational management is trumping strategic execution. Introducing change or a new strategic plan has become an event rather than a process. Introducing change into a world of dysfunctional teams also does not make them functional; it actually increases their dysfunctional nature. 

And last, but not least, we have to recognize that managers are not leaders; both are important, but we need leaders! We especially need leaders who can unite us and create clarity.

This week, step back from the big pictures challenges and complexities and focus on the following questions:

- What is the purpose of this company or department?

- What are the goals of this company or department?

- What are the KPI’s of this company or department?

- What are the expectations related to performance within this company or department?

Finding the answers to these questions will create alignment and better choices when it comes to taking the next steps into the future.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257