Ten Ways To Be A Better Coach - Part # 6

Build On Strengths

One of the things that very good coaches understand is best summarized by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman in their book, First, Break All The Rules: What The World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently (Simon & Schuster, 1999). As they wrote, “each individual is true to his or her own unique nature …. great managers capitalize on this and try to help each person become more and more of who they already are.” As they continue to explain, “People don’t change that much. Don’t waste time trying to put in what was left out. Try to draw out what was left in. That is hard enough.”

During a successful coaching session, this understanding gets translated into action when the coach builds on a person’s “unique nature,” i.e. their strengths. This takes great focus and effort by a coach, because most people have been trained to figure out what is wrong with a person and to try and fix it. This results in a “trying to put in what was left out” mentality to coaching, which rarely, if ever, works.

However, a strengths based perspective to coaching and leadership is harder because of two reasons. First, most people don’t know their own strengths, let alone can articulate them. Second, most coaches can not figure out these strengths in a single coaching session. Instead, it takes time and attention, because we have to collectively learn our way to an understanding of our strengths through dialogue and reflection. 

The first step in this collective journey is that the coach needs to create a safe and respectful coaching environment, i.e. common ground, from which someone can share openly and fully about their challenges and their questions. The person who is being coached has to let the coach in to their inner process in order for the coach to assist them in their inner and outer challenges. When we feel safe and respected, we are willing to learn, grow, and create in new and better ways. 

So, when seeking to be a better coach, we need to realize that in order to build on strengths, we first have to create a safe and respectful coaching environment. The former only happens when the later has been achieved. And this is one of the elements to great coaching that most coaches never discuss with others. They just do it because it works. Still, in order to build on strengths, we must be safe and respectful people and we must create safe and respectful coaching sessions. 

To be continued next Monday. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change