Ten Ways To Be A Better Coach - Part # 4

Create Common Ground

Currently within the workplace and generally in life, there is a lot of FUD taking place, namely fear, uncertainty, and doubt about what is going to happen next. While some companies are laying people off due to a decreased demand for their products and services, others can not find enough of the right people to hire in order to meet current and upcoming demands within the market place. And as a result, employees at all levels are struggling to figure out what to do. 

As supervisors and coaches, we can help people by building common ground through effective listening and sharing. The outcome of this choice is that we create trust at the relationship level, trust at the team level, and even trust at the organizational level. However, in the beginning, it means we have to talk less and listen more. 

For many, this seems like a simple choice. They will argue that they do listen quite well. But the best leaders, who are also very good at coaching, will point out that the challenge with listening is being present more than just being quiet and receiving sound waves through their ears. For they understand that we live in a distracted and noisy society. Our phones, our computers, and our iPads rule our lives and our attention even when we are coaching others. And in the midst of all of this noise, there are good people seeking answers to complex questions.

So, the way these excellent coaches start their coaching is by being authentic, approachable, and compassionate. This is the foundation upon which they build a common ground. Now, being authentic may not seem difficult, but it is. From my observations, many leaders try to “do” authenticity, not “be” authentic. These individuals  believe it is all about the way they talk or listen. But the best leaders and coaches do not try to be something other than who they truly are. 

Furthermore, these excellent coaches are genuinely interested in people. Their authenticity is based on being respectful, grounded, and kind. Their authenticity as a coach is also based on their being approachable. People feel comfortable with them and comfortable with sharing, because they recognize that their coach is compassionate. The coach understands that people are doing the best they can with what they have. Furthermore, the coach understands that people want to do a good job and want to make a difference in their work. Therefore, these excellent coaches show real empathy, sympathy, and concern for others.

These same coaches build common ground by listening holistically, synthesizing continually, and reflecting deeply. They do not assume they are “right” and the other person is “wrong.” Instead, they are willing to suspend their line of thought in order to understand another person’s point of view. 

But in the beginning, this all starts by being present rather than being quiet, and by respecting that each of us may be thinking out loud during a coaching session. We also recognize that each of us may be seeking the right words to explain what we are thinking and feeling. Therefore, the best coaches focus on the flow of the conversation, and they continually focus on building common ground that is safe, respectful, and trustworthy. And the outcome of this choice is the building of individual and collective capacity within the company. 

To be continued on Tuesday. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change