Be Clear About What Matters Most
In the end, coaching people is all about making choices. We need to actively engage in coaching, but also in supervision and regular check-ins. We need to understand that during coaching there are moments when we need to teach people new skills or provide them with new information. Other times, we need to focus on helping them change their mindset about what is happening.
During coaching, we also need to create common ground plus be very mindful of how we are role modeling integrity and respect. We need to build on people’s strengths more than correct their weaknesses. Next, we need to find someone to coach us so we can get better at what we do, plus spend time doing our own homework.
Finally, we need to remember something that we tend to forget in our rush to coach people. As Jungian psychoanalyst, James Hollis, Ph.D wrote, “No matter how well intended we begin, sooner or later we all spend good portions of this journey stumbling through savannas of suffering, where in we nonetheless find tasks that, when addressed - even in those dismal, diminishing circumstances - enlarge us. Going through suffering, rather than denying or anesthetizing it, knowing that if we hang in there, it will bring us choices that can either enlarge us or diminish us, and that when we are least in control, we still retain the freedom of choosing what matters to us.”
Suffering during life’s journey is normal and difficult. We can deny this fact or we can hang in there with each other during the difficult times. We will, and we must make choices during these hard times. Some of these choices have the potential to enlarge our perspective on life, and some of the choices could diminish our possibilities. And at these critical junctures, we must be clear about what matters most.
The role of the coach is to assist people as they navigate life’s journey. It also is to help them not feel abandoned during the process. The word “coach” has it’s roots in an old French word meaning a vehicle to transport people from one place to another place. Through all of the questions, analysis, action planning and follow through that comes with coaching, we, as coaches, can not solve all the problems and challenges before people. But we can be present in the midst of their difficulties and remind them of what matters most. We can help them be their best selves and help them to find and live their best lives. In short, we can share our wisdom, offer our compassion, and be a positive presence. These are the important choices we can make as a coach, and is the pathway to becoming a better coach over time.
© Geery Howe 2024
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