“We can’t be brave in the big world,” writes Brene’ Brown, “without at least one small space to work through our fears and falls.” I think one of the challenges along with the aforementioned ambiguity and decision fatigue is that we have also lost our connection with safe spaces “to work through our fears and falls.”
Furthermore, I also think we have lost a sense of community, which is where nearly all of these safe spaces can be found. In particular, I believe we have forgotten the memory of community given the last three years of a global pandemic. We also have forgotten the value and depth of connection that can take place within community.
Many years ago, I listened to Bernie Siegel M.D., a pediatric surgeon who wrote about the relationship between the patient and healing process, and author of the best-selling book, Love, Medicine and Miracles (Harper Collins, 1986), talk about the difference between natives and tourists when it comes to the healing process. He pointed out that tourists will visit a territory or place while a native will know and understand the same place. As he pointed out, if we are seeking healing in our lives, then we need to find natives who understand what is happening on the inside, not just what it looks like from a tourist’s picture postcard perspective.
Brene Brown, in her book, Daring Greatly: How The Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Avery, 2015), called certain people, who she could be vulnerable with, her “stretch-mark friends.” As she explained, “our connection has been stretched and pulled so much that it’s become part of who we are, a second skin, and there are a few scars to prove it. We’re totally uncool with each other.”
For me, stretch-mark friends are natives who can offer a safe space to work through our challenges. They understand the inner journey and can be present to the process of recovering from being drained. Their presence and their being part of our community gives us strength to move forward even when the pain and difficulties seem insurmountable or unbearable. This is the importance of finding and/or building plus maintaining community in the recovery process, and in life generally.
FYI: To be continued Tuesday.
No comments:
Post a Comment