Introduction
It was a breakfast meeting before an in-depth training when she shared something very important with me.
“I have no idea where we are going as a company. I know the specific number they want me to hit, but how to get there from where I am is a complete mystery. Furthermore, I have no idea why we are aiming for this number. It is all just a big puzzle and I can’t see the picture.”
I listened carefully as she continued to share. She was more than willing to do the work, but she was really dissatisfied as a manager. She wanted clarity and focus. Instead, she was feeling confused, burned out, and frustrated. She also had begun to wonder if it was time to find a new job.
Explore Your Work Choices
Feeling confused and frustrated is never a good place to be if you are in a leadership or a management position. It is hard to lead others when you can only talk about what needs to be done, and not share why we need to do it.
I remember years ago a father sharing with me that his daughter, who was a first time manager, called him. She shared that she was feeling overwhelmed and confused by what was expected of her. His advice was simple and direct: “Ask more questions, work harder, and strive to make progress every day.” It was the classic parental speech about working harder each day.
About a month later, the daughter called her father back and explained that she was working 12+ hours, 6 days a week and still trying to make progress each day. She was also asking more questions in meetings. However, she did not understand the answers being given to her, or that her concerns were even being heard.
Her father then explained to her that in situations of this nature she needed to “work smarter and be more organized.” When she defined her priorities each day, she could rise to the challenges before her. She received these thoughtful insights and really focused on having each hour of her day better organized. She created a daily and weekly system to stay focused on making progress.
Two months later, she called her father back and said, “I have worked harder, asked more questions and sought to make progress each day. I also have worked smarter and defined my priorities on a daily and weekly basis. But it has not worked. Instead, I am more confused than ever by the mixed messages I am receiving to my questions and the subsequent lack of my ability to create clarity for my team. If working harder and working smarter does not work, what should I do next?”
There was a long pause before her father replied, “You need to work differently.”
“What does that mean?”, she asked.
“You need to work for a different company. If one works harder and smarter with little support or the ability to make progress or even to prioritize, then you are working in a dysfunctional leadership environment and you are working within poor strategic and operational systems.”
“Thanks,” she replied. “I was thinking the same thing. It is time for me to find a company and a work environment that values me as a leader, and appreciates the questions I am asking.”
Every day we have important choices to make. Sometimes, the right choice is clear, but not easy. Still, continuing to work within a dysfunctional work environment is never a good choice, both personally or professionally.
The Role Of A Great Manager
Whether one is choosing a new job with a new company, or choosing a new job within the same company, it is critical to research who will be your direct supervisor or manager.
As Marcus Buckingham in his book, The One Thing You Need to Know ... About Great Managing, Great Leading, and Sustained Individual Success (Free Press, 2005) wrote: “All great managers speed up the reaction between each employee’s talents and the company’s goals.” A great manager is “deeply preoccupied with the challenge of making you as successful as possible…. To do their job, they must start with your feelings. They must convince you that, in their eyes, your success is paramount.”
The difficulty from my vantage point is that very few people have ever worked for a great manager. Most of us have only experienced mediocrity and assumed it was normal. However, Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman in their seminal book, First, Break All The Rules: What The World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently. (Simon & Schuster, 1999) explain that “Talented employees need great managers. How long he stays and how productive he is while he is there is determined by his relationship with his immediate supervisor.” Furthermore, they note that “one of the signs of a great manager is their ability to describe, in detail, the unique talents of each of his or her people - what drives each one, how each one thinks, how each builds relationships.” In short, Buckingham and Coffman recognize that a great manager needs a great manager in order to be a great manager.
With this in mind, people, who are dissatisfied with their current work situation, have important choices to make. As Rodd Wagner & James K. Harter wrote in their book, 12: The Elements of Great Managing (Gallup Press 2006) which is the sequel to First, Break All The Rules: “Before a person can deliver what he should as a manager, he must first receive what he needs as an employee.”
Wagner and Harter encourage us to imagine the following exercise: Picture yourself standing up in front of a hypothetical group of honor students and explain to them why they should join your company. What would you say? Then, respond to the following question from one of these honor students: “If I join your organization, can you assure me that I will have a really good manager?”
The big idea here is whether or not we can guarantee this most basic benefit to all new recruits, and all employees. As they explain, “The managers who are best at getting the most from people are those who give the most to them.”
Again, remember: A great manager needs a great manager in order to be a great manager. And this is what I always encourage dissatisfied leaders to look for if they are considering moving to a new company or moving to a new job within their current company.
Look At Your Whole Life
When I am asked the important question, “Should I apply for a new job?”, I always respond with a question, ““Once you have the new job, what will your whole life be like?”
First, I don’t instantly assume that switching jobs is the best choice. I have learned in life that while the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, one does not know if it is actually greener because it is a more healthier work environment or it is just greener because it is located over the septic tank.
Therefore, when confronted with the question about switching jobs, I always suggest we examine the choice from a holistic perspective. For example, will this new job make you a better person, parent, sibling, partner, or friend with the people you love and cherish in your life? When we choose to look at our life holistically, we may come to an understanding that the challenges we are experiencing at work and the ones we are experiencing at home reflect a burned out and dissatisfied life, not just a bad job. If this is the case, then changing jobs is only part of the solution.
Second, having coached people for decades, I have witnessed that changing jobs did not always yield a less stressful life. At times, we forget the old adage that “wherever you go, there you are.” In simple terms, this means that if you don’t like your current circumstances, moving does not change everything. We all take our baggage with us.
Thus, a whole life evaluation should always be part of the process when seeking a new employment opportunity. As Stephen Covey wrote many years ago, “In the absence of ‘wake-up calls,’ many of us never really confront the critical issues of life. Instead of looking for deep chronic causes, we look for quick fix Band-Aids and aspirin to treat the acute pain. Fortified by temporary relief, we get busier and busier doing ‘good’ things and never even stop to ask ourselves if what we’re doing what really matters most.” When we choose to spend time thinking about our career and our whole life, we have the potential to create healthier new beginnings on many different levels.
Seek Out Perspective and Experience
When confronting major life decisions such as a job change, I always advise people to activate their entire support system. For when we take time to visit with a diversity of people, we can always gain new insights and perspectives from their experiences. The difficulty is that many people in these situations have not created a broad enough network of support.
Herminia Ibarra in her book, Act Like A Leader, Think Like A Leader (Harvard Business Review Press, 2015), says that people in leadership positions need three kinds of networks, namely operational, personal and strategic. As she writes, “The first helps you manage current internal responsibilities, the second boosts personal development, and the third focuses on new business directions and the stakeholders you must get on board to pursue these directions.” In particular, the strategic network “is made up of relationships that help you to envision the future, sell your ideas, and get the information and resources you need to exploit these ideas…. A good strategic network gives you connective advantage: the ability to marshal information, support, or other resources from one of your networks to obtain results in another.”
From my vantage point, each network has people in it that can look at the challenges before you and offer unique insights and perspectives. As Dee Hock, Founder & CEO Emeritus, Visa International, pointed out, “Change is not about understanding new things or having new eyes; it’s about seeing old things with new eyes - from different perspectives.” And this is what a diversity of networks and people within them can share with you. They can assist you in seeing “old things with new eyes” but from different perspectives.
One big lesson I have learned from the people within my networks is a simple but powerful one: “Behind mountains are more mountains,” which is an old Haitian proverb. No new job is ever going to solve all your problems. It will be a new beginning and it will provide you with new opportunities. Yet, at the exact same time, it will come with new problems and new challenges. This is normal and should be expected.
The other big lesson I have learned from the people within my network is that we should always be expanding our networks. When we have a diverse collections of allies and confidants within our operational, personal and strategic networks, we create the capacity to better handle whatever happens in life’s journey. The key is to make these connections before you ever need to use them.
The Journey And The Destination
A long time ago, Socrates warned us: “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” I think for many people in leadership positions, being busy is equal to being successful. However, the common outcome of this way of living is to constantly feel dissatisfied, stressed, and overwhelmed.
In the end, no one but you can determine if now is the right time to get a new job. No one but you knows the point at which your current work situation is no longer workable. No one but you knows whether the costs of your current job outweighs the benefits of the job.
But in the end, it is important to remember the wisdom that Stephen Covey wrote so many years ago: “Principled-centered living is not an end in itself. It’s the means and the end. It’s the quality of our travel along life’s road. It’s the power of peace we experience each day as we accomplish what matters most. In a principle-centered life, the journey and the destination are one.”
When we choose to live our life based on clarity of purpose and values, i.e. principle-centered living, we create a foundation for living well today and into the future. The key is to always be clear about our purpose in life and to live a purpose-filled life. And along the way to make a positive difference in the lives of all we meet.
© Geery Howe 2022
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