Given all the challenges that take place in our life journey, we must still live and act from a place of kindness and caring. We also must strive to live our lives with the utmost integrity.
Yet, there are times when we get so busy that we forget that our words and our actions make a difference and have an impact. As we interact with others, we want to communicate with them in word and in deed that indicates that we are humble, faithful, supportive, and bold, i.e. as in doing the right things. This begins with our ability to be present to what is happening around us and within us. It also comes from our ability to role model and to find our voice.
As the late Stephen Covey wrote in his book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness (Free Press, 2004), the 8th habit is to “find your voice and inspire others to find theirs…. it is the nexus of talent, passion, need and conscience (that still small voice within that assures you of what is right and that prompts you to actually do it).”
For quite a long time, I have thought about this idea of finding your voice. As part of this process, we need to be able to speak our fears, listen to the fears of others, share our vulnerabilities, and as a result discover our common ground, especially our common journeys. Years ago, Laurie Patton, the president of Middlebury College captured this concept when she asked the following question: “What is the story you are working on that doesn’t have an ending yet?”
Many years ago, a client of mine was traveling through Iowa and asked if we could meet for breakfast. So, I picked one of my favorite places to eat and asked him to meet me there.
When we walked in the door that morning, one of the wait staff came over and warmly greeted me. My client was quite surprised.
“There must be a story behind that,” he commented to me once we sat down.
“Yes,” I replied. “Years ago, my wife and I were dog sitting for a friend. The dog was an experienced therapy dog and very used to being out in public with people. So, we brought the dog here with us one summer morning and ate at an outside table.
On that particular morning, many of the staff stopped by to say ‘hi’ to us and to pet the dog. In the process, they shared with us their life experiences with dogs. This began a journey of sharing every time we come here.”
We ordered breakfast and the person who greeted us came around with a fresh pot of coffee to refill our cups. I paused in our conversation and thanked him for such good service. My client told him that he was impressed with the service here, too.
Then, our waiter shared about his recent challenges. “I am 40 years old, married, with two elementary aged school children, and I am taking three classes at the community college, working full time, and about to transfer to the University.”
My client shared that he went to community college too, and then transferred to a University. “It was a good choice,” he commented.
“Good to know”, the waiter responded.
“I know you are doing the best you can with the challenges you have,” I added. He nodded in appreciation of the support.
Our combined messages to him that morning were we see you, we hear you, we feel what you are feeling, and we respect you. This is the power and importance of being fully present to another person. I am present to your suffering. I am present to your joy. But most of all, I am present to you, bearing witness to what we both know, namely the importance being committed to living out of truth and respect.
As leaders, we can get so wrapped up in busy that we forget that “the most difficult work of leadership involves learning to experience distress without numbing yourself”, notes, Ron Heifetz, and Marty Linsky in their book, Leadership On The Line: Staying Alive through the Dangers of Leading (Harvard Business School Press, 2002). We forget, that “the form doesn't matter” because “any form of service to others is an expression, essentially, of love.” As they continue, “Exercising leadership is a way of giving meaning to your life by contributing to the lives of others. At its best, leadership is a labor of love.”
From my perspective, we are all a part of a great creative journey. We are all walking into the unknown and unpredictable future. We are all vulnerable and stronger than we think.
And on this journey, we can always help each other. We can always act from our compassion. We can remember our oneness.
In the big picture, our real struggle is a spiritual one. Are we humans having spiritual experiences, or are we spiritual beings having human experiences? The answer is that we are all called to be faithful. We are all called to reclaim our common humanity. We are all called to build and maintain genuine communities of love, compassion, and connections. We are called to find our voice, and use it for the greater good.
© Geery Howe 2026
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