Early in my career as a consultant, trainer and executive coach, I spent a lot of time teaching nursing continuing education classes on the subject of how to teach patients stress management techniques as part of their healing and recovery process. These six hour workshops were in-depth, and involved listening and sharing by all the participants.
One afternoon when talking about how to help patients maintain perspective during challenging times, one of the nurses shared the following story. As she explained, “I am a night nurse on a medical surgical floor. It is long hours and lots of work. Some nights are quiet and other nights it is crazy.
On this particular shift, it was one of those wildly crazy nights with all the call lights flashing. We were running hither and yon to keep up with everything. It also was my last shift of a multi-day cycle of being on duty, and I was tired, worn to the core, and feeling overworked.
I rushed into this room, flicked off the call light and asked the patient what she needed. She just looked at me, paused for a moment, and said, ‘Are you having a bad day?’
I looked at her. She looked at me. And I just unloaded all my frustrations. I shared about my work, the kids, my marriage, my in-laws, life on the farm, and the weather. It just all came tumbling out of me. I was embarrassed.
She listened well, and then replied, ‘Let’s switch. You can have my breast cancer. I’d give anything to go home tonight to my family, and to my baby. I would wash a bucket of poppy diapers with a smile on my face just to be home tonight. It’s really all about perspective.’
She was 100% correct. Then, I helped her with her bed pan and thanked her for teaching me what was most important.”
There are days when we get so busy that we forget to be more grateful for the ordinary moments of life. Instead, we believe “busy” is the new definition of success. People wear it as a badge of honor, and frame it up as a new status symbol. I am busy and thus I am successful.
We get caught in this trap because we are trying to fix everything around us. We also get busy because we are trying to control everything and everyone around us. It’s all about keep everything and everyone under control. The upshot of which is that we get so busy that we end up numb to life’s miracles. In short, we have lost our gratefulness for the ordinary moments.
On the days that our lives are spinning out of control with sickness, pain, divorce, or loss, we pray for miracles. We pray for it all to go back to “normal”. In short, we pray for the ordinary, namely the chance to get up, eat breakfast, and go to work without pain, without sorrow, and without fear or confusion.
We are not really seeking perfection. We are seeking the intersection between happiness and meaning. As Dr. Marshall Goldsmith and Dr. Kelly Goldsmith wrote, “In determining a personal mission, you need to make sure that you take into account both happiness and meaning. By happiness we are referring to your personal enjoyment of the process itself, not just the results. In other words, at the high end of the scale, you love what you are doing. By meaning we are referring to the value that you attribute to the results of your work. At the high end of the scale, you deeply believe that the outcome of what you are doing is important.”
As they continue, “Maximize the amount of time that you are experiencing simultaneous happiness and meaning.” When we are grateful for the ordinary, we open up the opportunity to experience an intersection between happiness and meaning. We also remember to be kind to everyone, because each of us are doing the best we can with the tools we have.
© Geery Howe 2026
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