Introduction
For the last 90 days, I have been thinking about a question proposed by Rachel Naomi Remen: “Is it possible to live so defensively that you never get to live at all?” After much reflection, I have come to the conclusion that the answer is “yes.”
Given current events, I believe more and more people are choosing to live defensively for the simple reason that when they look out into the world, all they see is chaos and problems. As a result, they feel loss, grief, and confusion. Thus, they choose to live defensively. They also choose to just let everything roll right on by them. This results in numbness, and not feeling or caring about anything or anyone at all.
And the longer this takes place, the more they have forgotten who they are and how to live. They have forgotten how to live a life based on their full potential and wholeness. They have forgotten the depth of awe, wonder, and joy of being alive. They also are no longer in touch with the gift of being alive. They no longer see the miracles that are happening all around us each and every day. They have even lost touch with the idea that goodness still exists in the world.
Part of this choice has a direct connection to living through a global pandemic. When we locked down and created our secluded bubbles in March of 2020, we created a pattern of living that was focused on staying safe and maintaining functionality at work and at home. The outcome of these necessary steps was that our vital life connections with others and our community became fragmented. We lived, and we lost all at the same time period.
Given these past pandemic choices, and now as we move through these chaotic times, our network of relationships are weak, tangled, and lack much depth. Therefore, we feel lonely. Our lives are full and busy, but the essence of our life, the source from which we would manage these chaotic times, is fragmented. It is not whole and unified. Instead, our lives are surrounded by a feeling of anxiousness and isolation, even when we are surrounded by other people.
Still, I believe there is hope in the midst of this loss, grief, confusion, and loneliness. There are choices we can and must make. As The Book of Common Prayer reminds us, “Life is changed, not ended.” And given it is changed but not ended, we can move forward if we are willing to embrace some simple truths. As the late Thich Nhat Hanh, one of the most revered Zen teachers in the world, wrote: “We can see it only if we go back to the now. It is that simple.” From my perspective, the “it” that he is referencing is the pathway out of this inner and outer chaos. When this has shifted and we have reconnected with the source of inner clarity, then we can cope effectively with the outer chaos. The choice is ours to make, and I believe it begins with listening to our heart.
Listen To The Heart
“Though the human body is born complete in one moment,” writes the late Irish poet John O’Donohue, “the birth of the human heart is an ongoing process. It is being birthed in every experience of your life. Everything that happens to you has the potential to deepen you. It brings to birth within you new territories of the heart.”
The choice to listen to the heart is a choice to seek out our deeper inner resources and wisdom. Rather than choose the restlessness that comes with living in chaotic times, we can seek and connect with our heart. With this choice, we can relearn to think and feel our way through what is before us, and within us.
As Aristotle notes, “Our feelings toward our friends reflect our feelings toward ourselves.” When we listen to our heart, we have to confront how we feel about ourselves. We have to acknowledge that we are often quite self-critical. We expect ourselves to be perfect while we choose to offer our friends grace and support.
Henri Nouwen, the Dutch Catholic priest and professor, writes that “a forgiven person forgives.” Equally so, a loved person loves. And a nurtured person cares. The challenge of listening to the heart is never simply to try to be more loving, but to seek a deeper wisdom from which our love flows. This is important and difficult work. It comes with great learning.
For example, during this past year, I encountered a situation that was very painful and difficult for me on many levels. In particular, I was profoundly disturbed by the choices others were making, and I recognized that I had no ability to influence the course of events and their long term impact. I could just witness what was happening and grieve the loss for all involved.
One day, after sharing the emotional pain of it all with a dear friend, she responded by saying, “Remember: you are loved.” In that moment, she acknowledged my feelings and, at the exact same time, brought the whole situation to a different and more holistic level of understanding. By telling me “I was loved,” she connected me to a new pathway, one that could transform the emotional pain of what was happening. It was a pathway that rose above and beyond the immediate chaos in order to behold and an experience a hint of new possibilities. She understood my feelings of grief and loss while also pointing out that there was love present in this situation. This love was greater than what was happening. She reminded me that all involved were held in light and love as they moved through these difficulties. I was humbled by her perspective, and in an instant I knew she was right. It was a transformative moment and feeling, and as such it has sustained me as events have continued to unfold.
During difficult times like this, I also am reminded of something Mr Roger’s mother said to him. As he explained, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mothers would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” I believe that the helpers can help, because they listen to their hearts and then choose love and kindness as the first step to moving forward during chaotic times. For it is these small acts of kindness and love that transform the way we experience the world around us and transform the world within us. They help us discover new territories of the heart and help us access our deeper, inner wisdom when we are challenged by current events.
Reclaim Imagination
Bishop Michael Curry in his book, Love Is The Way: Holding on to Hope in Troubling Times (Avery, 2020), writes “Professor Walter Bruggemann once observed that the moment of liberation didn’t actually begin when Moses told Pharaoh, ‘Let my people go.’ And it didn’t begin when the plagues eventually forced the Egyptian slave master to give up. Or when God parted the waters of the Red Sea and set the slaves free. No, the freedom movement began the moment Moses talked to God and began to imagine the possibility of a world without slavery.”
I think one of the major challenges of living in chaotic times is that we can not imagine the possibility of anything other than the chaos that surrounds us. And with this lack of imagination, we then assume that the chaos we are experiencing today will go on forever. And it will generate more chaos in the future. As a result, we feel hopeless today and hopeless about the future.
However, there is one missing element to this situation, and that is our ability to reclaim our imagination. In the mathematical world of equations, it is known that if you alter one of the factors or variables within the equation, then you alter the outcome of the equation. The key when living during chaotic times is to find the one or two variables within the equation and to change them.
I believe an important first variable is to reclaim our imagination. I came to this conclusion because I visited with our three year old grandchild via FaceTime. He told us that he was going to be an astronaut for Halloween. Then he shared with us that he was going to get in his rocket ship in Arizona, fly to Iowa, and wave at us as he went over our house. Next, he was going to land in the field behind our house and come in and say “hi.”
I just smiled from ear to ear as he described this to us, and thought to myself, “Now that is some great imagination. He has envisioned an entire future where connecting with us is simple and easy. How creative is that.” I suspect that when we were done FaceTiming, he was going to get some paper and markers, and begin drawing his rocket ship.
I believe that many adults loose their creativity and imagination to the world of practicality and efficiency. The goal of life is get things done, and then to get more things done. There is little space in this pattern for envisioning a different and more creative future. Instead, the focus is on functionality and checklists rather than innovation and creativity.
As a result of connecting with our grandson, I am choosing now to envision a new and better future, where everyone is able to live within safe, respectful and healthy communities. I envision a world where there are no strangers and all are welcome. I envision a world where inclusiveness, non-violence, and compassionate acceptance are the norm rather than the exception. And within this new world, the first variable within the equation that will alter and generate this new outcome is my choice to reclaim my imagination.The second variable within the current equation is my willingness to choose community over chaos.
To be continued on Tuesday.
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