Building Community One Person At A Time In The Midst of A Pandemic

Given current circumstances, I have spent many hours thinking about the following quote by Margaret Wheatley in her book, Who Do We Choose To Be? Facing Reality, Claiming Leadership, Restoring Sanity, Berrett-Koehler, 2017:

“It is possible, in this time of profound disruption, for leadership to be a noble profession that contributes to the common good. It is possible as we face the fearful complexity of life-destroying problems, to experience recurring moments of grace and joy. It is possible, as leaders of organizations, communities, and families, to discover deep and abiding satisfaction in our work if we choose not to flee or withdraw from reality. It is possible to find a path of contribution and meaning if we turn our attention away from issues beyond our control and focus on the people around us who are yearning for good leadership and engage them in work that is within reach. It is possible to use our influence and power to create islands of sanity in the midst of a raging destructive sea.”

The phrase, “islands of sanity”, has reverberated inside me for days. I have wondered how in this time of social distancing where so many people are feeling separated and alone whether we as leaders can actually build community even when we are all in our separate home offices. I have wondered if we can truly find and experience “recurring moments of grace and joy.” And finally, I have wondered if we can find purpose and meaning in this time of profound disruption.

There are moments for me when I listen to all of the struggles and challenges happening the world, and find myself overwhelmed by the magnitude of what is happening. At times like that, I have to step away from the office and the technology-driven media cycle, and walk outside. I need to feel the sun on my face, listen to the wind, and see the arrival of spring as the earth wakes up and remembers colors, shapes and sounds. These small actions rekindle in me my faith in people’s capacity to be generous, creative and kind. As Lindsay M. Leahy with The Restoration Project shared on her Instagram account recently, “self-care is not selfish, it is required.” I agree 100%.

With the above in mind, I think the first step to building community, i.e. an island of sanity, is to act very consciously within my own community and my own circle of influence. As President Teddy Roosevelt said so long ago, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” There are days when I think this is not a very big action but on other days I recognize it is huge.

For example, not too long ago, I went to the grocery store to stock up on basic things like fresh fruits, veggies and, of course, toilet paper. I went to that paper products section of the store and the shelves were barren. So, I walked over to pick up a dozen eggs when a woman came out of the back of the store carrying two large packages of toilet paper. I stopped and said, “You’ve hit the jack pot. It must be your lucky day. I looked, but couldn’t find any. Congratulations!”

Later, as I walked toward the check-out aisle, I heard a voice behind me say, “Excuse me, Sir.”

I stopped and turned around. It was the same woman. She then handed me a large package of toilet paper.

“I work here every day,” she explained. “I can pick up another package on the next truck. This one is for you and your family.”

I stood there for a moment and tears filled my eyes. It was such a kind act. I whispered “thank-you” and she smiled. On that day, she showed me how such a small act of kindness can have such a big impact. My challenge is to pay it forward.

Years ago, I wrote an essay for this blog about how I believed in spring bulbs. I shared that for decades I have planted between 300 - 500 spring bulbs every fall in the flower beds around our home. Then each spring, crocus, daffodils, and tulips come up and bloom. It is a celebration of spring after a long hard Iowa winter.

This week hundreds of crocus and the very early daffodils are in full bloom. My great joy comes from watching families with young children and older couples with their dogs walk by. Everyone slows down, stops for a moment and then points to different combinations of colors. They smile and in the midst of these challenging times they are uplifted by spring’s beauty.

The outcome from this moment of slowing down to witness flowers blooming is that we feel connected to the earth and we feel connected to each other. We all may be keeping physical distance from each other but we also know on one level that we are not alone in this time of struggle and challenge. And this is one way I can create a small island of sanity within my local small town.

The other conscious choice I have been making is to thank more people for their service to the community. When I walked down to our local post office, I thanked the post master and the postal clerk for making sure we get our mail on time. I thanked our trash collector this past Friday morning when he picked up our recycling and trash bag. He was so startled he stoped working for a moment and smiled. I thanked our local police officer who was helping a truck that was stuck in the mud. I thanked the nurse up the street who works in a bone marrow transplant unit that is on lock down. And finally, I thanked our local volunteer fire chief who always answers the call, morning, noon or night. 

All of these people and many more are doing their part to keep us safe and healthy. I want them to know that I value their efforts and that they do not go unnoticed. I want them to know that they are an important part of our community and my life. 

As Margaret Wheatley wrote, “We are not broken people. It’s our relationships that need repair. It’s relationships that bring us back to health, wholeness, holiness.” With compassion and gratitude, we can build and re-build a sense of community one person at a time in the midst of this pandemic. I agree with Wheatley when she wrote, “It is the unshakable belief that human beings are worth our last ounce of energy. We make the choice to be there to preserve, protect, defend, champion, encourage, honor the human spirit.”

This morning, I encourage each of us to do the following. First, to be kind to yourself and to everyone you meet. As Linda Hogan, Native American of the Chickasaw Nation wrote: “You are the result of the love of thousands.”

Second, I encourage each of us to share our gratitude with everyone we meet. There are so many people who are making a difference right now. Let us notice their efforts and thank them for their meaningful work. 

Finally, I encourage each of us to create more moments of beauty. If you can not grow flowers, then cut out paper hearts and put them up in your windows. Let everyone know that you believe in love, kindness and compassion. Let everyone know that you value them and welcome them into your community. 

Now is the time when each of us can choose to be dear and supportive neighbors. We can choose to be members of a beloved community. We must stand together in this challenging time. 

As always, stay strong, stay healthy, stay safe, and keep in touch. I look forward to seeing you on the other side.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Self-care is not optional in the world of leadership.

Regularly now, people are discussing with me their strategic goals and plans for 2020 and 2021. Some are even willing to explore all the way out to 2022. They all recognize that this level of thinking is complicated and complex. For many, it is an in-depth exercise into thinking through a variety of scenarios and possible problems before they actually become problems.

And in the midst of this big picture thinking, I am the one who asks a different question: If it all works out according to your best thinking, there is a phenomenal amount of work to be done. So, what are you going to do as a leader so you don’t burn-out? 

High amounts of stress comes with aggressive strategic growth and change. Burn-out is common and very difficult to recover from. Self-care is not optional if you want to be successful over time.

Many leaders have thought through all the details related to goals and objectives, leading and lagging metrics, systems’ improvements and changes, reorganizations at the structural level and the need for cultural continuity. However, many have not through how to cope with the volume and complexity of the work. 

The upshot is that many leaders will do whatever it takes to “win” at work. Yet, most have not thought through the costs to them personally. They will make it happen at work and start loosing more and more at home. Their marriages begin to crumble due to lack of care. Their friendships with others outside the family start to vanish because there is little time for being a friend. Their children start to feel like they are a burden or just one more project being managed. 

And finally, the health and well being of these leaders starts to suffer, too. With lack of exercise and continued poor eating, their health becomes a roller coaster of stress induced illnesses and symptoms. Finally, it all implodes and becomes one big mess on so many different levels.

That is why the question, “what are you going to do as a leader so you don’t burn-out?”, is such an important question. Before life goes to pieces, it is time to sit down, to define some boundaries around work, and to figure out what is a reasonable and realistic self-care plan. Good health, physically, mentally, socially and spiritually, is not optional if you want to be an excellent leader during challenging times.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Seek Wholeness Over Fragmentation

In 1997, I was asked by a group of long term clients to create and deliver an in-depth leadership training program which could become the training ground for future senior leaders for their organizations. In 1998, after much work, reflection and visiting with numerous leaders around the country, I designed and taught the first From Vision to Action Leadership Training. This year long leadership development course encompassed four quarterly sessions. Through its challenging, interactive curriculum, participants gained core skills and knowledge through immersion in research, issues and solutions related to leadership, strategic planning and execution, and implementing organizational change. This fall the 24th class will graduate from this in-depth training and people are already signing up for the 2019 class.

During the first class back in 1998, I asked my students to tell me what are the characteristics of a leader worth following during organizational change. I still ask this same question twenty years later. The reason being is that leaders are involved in making things run better and changing things to make them work differently given how the customers have changed.

Over the decades, the answers have been interesting and thoughtful. There has been some change in the description of these characteristics and those reflect the changes in our society. For example, successful digital communication was not a part of our discussions back in ’98. But over all, most students share about how leaders think and how they interact with others.

I like these answers and I encourage the students to zoom out rather than just zoom in to answer the question. The reason being is because a long time ago I read a book by Kevin Cashman where he stated that “if you want to become a better leader, you first have to become a better person.” I still think about this quote on a regular basis.

If we truly want to become better leaders, especially during times of organizational change, then we must become better people. If that is the goal, then a leader is not just what they do with their mind and how they interact with others. From my experience of working with great leaders, I have learned that a leader worth following in the midst of organizational changes does think well and interact well with others but they also do a few other things exceptionally well.

First, they role model good self-care. They take care of their body through exercise, eating well and utilizing healthy stress management techniques.

Second, they have a healthy social and emotional life. This means they take care of their family, maintain relationships with a close circle of friends, and have mentors and older friends who help keep things in perspective.

Third, they have a spiritual life. They are involved in a faith community, and routinely take time for faith related activities on a daily and seasonal basis, recognizing that some questions about work and life can only be answered from a faith perspective.

This week, reflect on the question, What are the characteristics of a leader worth following during organizational change? And then write down your answers. It is time to seek wholeness over fragmentation. Becoming a better person is a fabulous life goal.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Leadership Myth #3

When out on the road visiting with clients, I spend a lot of time meeting senior executives in their offices. Some offices are immaculate, dust free work places with every paper, pen and stapler in perfect order and ready for action. Others are filled with stacks of paper and reports on every horizontal surface in the entire room. And some look like the cross between a freshman college dorm room and a sophomore boy’s bedroom. In these, there are piles of paper, a variety of jackets and ties left on chairs, unfinished mugs of coffee, and numerous post it notes about everything on anything where one will stick. 

From experience, I know that each of us are doing the best we can given the circumstances before us. I also know that more and more executives are working longer and longer hours with no hope of ever getting caught up. Most just suffer quietly with the burdens of their work. Overwhelmed, they push hard and harder just “to get one more thing done before I head home.” And in this grand electronic era of constant connectivity, I am seeing more and more e-mails later and later at night, or very very early in the morning. Leaders at all levels are getting caught in one simple myth, namely “my job is to get everything done before I rest.”  

This mentality of 24/7 leadership is just not working. We are way past the burnout stage. Now, for many, we are deep into bone level exhaustion and soul numbing consequences. Personal lives and families are getting impacted, if not ruined, by people who believe they just have to “get’er done” before they can rest.

First, it is impossible to get everything done now given the flood of connectivity. There will always be more e-mail than time. The internet has not saved us time. It has instead accelerated it and created unrealistic expectations.

Second, at the current pace of change, there is no stabilization but just constant adaptation to continually changing events and systems. Furthermore, anyone’s real or manufactured crisis can upset the apple cart. Therefore, we need, as leaders, to re-learn how to practice self care.  Remembering an old adage of my Mother’s, namely “we can not give what we have not got,” it is time to rebuild our own personal foundation. Moving forward, we must lead from a place of clarity and health rather than exhaustion, burn-out or cynicism. This is not easy work but it is important work.

Finally, remembering the words of Kevin Cashman, namely “Leaders get what they exhibit and what they tolerate,” we need to role model a healthier way of leading. If we only rest when the work is done, then we are sending a signal through out the organization which will have a dramatic impact over time at both the strategic and operational levels.

This week, practice healthy self-care. Give yourself permission to rest well and work well. You and your organization will be much better in the short and the long run.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257