Moving Forward

We were visiting over a good meal about leadership, decision-making, collaboration, and communication when I figured out something important. Most leaders help people move forward by explaining the company’s strategy and why we have a particular strategy. In particular, they explain what are the goals and priorities per quarter. This is called moving forward by knowing or knowledge. The difficulty is that many front line supervisors and employees can not relate to this way of moving forward, because they live in a world focused on day to day problems and day to day routines. There is no line of sight from their daily priorities to the overall strategic intent of the company. 

Still, I get why leaders focus on unpacking the current strategy and the current context or environment in which the company is operating. But, again, the majority of front line supervisors and employees are more focused on whether or not the shift is filled, people come on time, and whether or not the daily, operational work is getting done. From their perspective, knowledge about doing the job is more important than knowledge about the company’s strategy. 

Nevertheless, strategy is important. It impacts the company in the short and long term.  Therefore, I think we need to supplement knowing the current strategy with one more thing, namely the idea of moving forward by experience. From this perspective, we need to go back in time and choose a past strategy that was successfully executed and explain how this strategy was created, and how it was executed. For as the best leaders understand, past strategy always creates the current operational reality. 

By connecting the dots from the execution of a past strategy to today’s current operational reality, we remind everyone that they have already experienced the execution of strategy and that it has made a difference. Then, when a new strategy is introduced, front line supervisors and employees can relate to this new strategy, because they can reference their past experiences with a previous strategy as part of their understanding of the new strategy. With this perspective, they can move forward with experience and knowledge. 

At the same time, I think we as leaders need to remember that moving forward with knowledge assumes that we will always have all the information and all of the knowledge to make the right decisions at the right time for the right reasons. However, as is normal in the world of leadership, strategy, and organizational change, we really only move forward with some of the knowledge that we need to make those decisions. There are always new situations, new problems, and new complexities surfacing. Therefore, we move forward with some knowledge, but we also move forward by experience, i.e. we learn our way forward. When we choose to do this, then the convergence of knowledge, experience and learning creates personal and organizational capacity plus a unique competitive advantage in the current market place. 

Still, we need to grasp two important ideas as we support and encourage the aforementioned convergence. First, we must role model this in our lives, not just expect it of others. As executive coach, author, and founder of The Restoration Project, Lindsay Leahy notes, “Allowing yourself to be transformed, to become different, to surrender, and to accept a new reality is going to take real commitment.”  And transforming commitment into action takes courage and continual learning. It requires us to focus on being aware of our goals and priorities, and to not get caught in the trap of trying to fix everyone else’s problems, which is the default choice of so many leaders during difficult and challenging times. 

Second, we need to reflect on the following insight by Matt Licata, PhD.: “… the goal is always more consciousness, forming the basis from which wiser and more skillful responses flow.” Recognizing that people prefer what they are accustomed to, more consciousness begins with more awareness. However, we must recognize and accept that all of us have conscious and unconscious, default perspectives about life and work. We must also recognize that awareness is not synonymous with a transformation of thinking. It is the beginning of change but not a full transformation. The later takes place when we choose “wiser and more skillful responses.” 

To accomplish greater consciousness, where the expansion of knowledge, experience and learning take place, I believe we need to think deeply about something that Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury who drafted the first edition of The Book of Common Prayer in 1549, noted about death, “life is changed, not ended.” When we move forward with knowledge, experience, and learning, i.e. the sum of greater consciousness, life is changed, not ended. In reality, it is restored and grounded in a wider and more inclusive perspective. With more consciousness, we see and comprehend the interconnectivity of strategy and operational choices, thinking and action. We recognize that people are always changing even when they prefer what they are accustomed to on a day to day basis. 

Furthermore, these changes over time, small but significant, can result in a transformation of perspective and understanding, all of which started with a change in awareness. At the same time, this initial movement from unaware to aware cracks open the potential for multiple new choices and perspectives about how to proceed and how to engage with others. 

Nevertheless, this all begins with a commitment, referencing Lindsay Leahy’s above quote. We can make this kind of commitment, but, at the exact same time, we must activate a network of support to assist us in executing our commitment. With the support of allies, confidants, coaches, and mentors, we can slowly, step by step, expand our consciousness and live into this level of consciousness. 

Successful  transformation does not happen in a vacuum. Instead, it always happens within a network of support and understanding. And this is an individual and a collective process, all at the exact same time. As Matt Licata, PhD notes: “Remember, the primary invitation is not rejection, purging, or deleting parts of ourselves but to expanding consciousness of what is happening, for it is from that increased awareness that we can choose a new way.” When we seek to move forward from a place of knowledge, experience, and learning, we can make better decisions. We also can work better with others, plus communication in such a way as to increase awareness and understanding. In short, we executive strategy and improve daily operations, all at the same time. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Four Recent Insights

Routinely now, I get asked what I have been doing since I’ve retired. First, I have to remind people that I am mostly retired. I still do some monthly coaching of long term clients who I have regularly visited with for over 15+ years. I also still do some mentoring of young professionals who are making a profound difference in the world. The combination of these two activities is one way I can support the next generation of leaders. 

When I am not doing this level of work, I read every day for over an hour from a wide diversity of authors who make me think deeply and broadly. I garden extensively, because I find this time outdoors to be restorative and up-lifting. I also visit with family and close friends, do puzzles, and listen to music. And in the late afternoons, I love to cook and bake.

Not too long ago, a young leader asked me what I have learned since retiring. This made me pause and review all that has taken place so far in this retirement journey. Here are four recent insights I shared that morning. 

First, life goes by faster than we think. And most of us are not aware of how fast it is moving forward. Day by day, we can fill our lives with busy work. And much of it does need to be done. Yet, we also have a choice to discover the sacred within the ordinary. I think this discovery of the sacred happens when we come to the realization that the moments of connection we have with others are the special moments within our life journey.

Furthermore, these connections happen when we realize that everything and everyone exists in relationship with one another. These special moments are built and defined by interdependence and interconnectedness. And as a result, we recognize that all our lives are interwoven. Life moves quickly, but these kinds of connections are timeless. 

Second, there is great joy in seeing others rise, step out, and be successful. I marvel now at the times I have witnessed someone who put in the work and transformed themselves and their way of living and working. I celebrate their inner re-alignment and the outer results that have taken place because of it. I am humbled that I was gifted the opportunity to be present to this transformation. 

Third, gratitude is a critical to health. As we age, we change on many different levels e.g. mind, body, heart, and spirit. I have witnessed many people who enter their retirement years worn to the core and burned out from life. And I have witnessed many people who enter their retirement years energized and eager to start the next phase of their life. 

I believe the critical difference is their depth of gratitude. I have come to realize that being alive is a gift that not everyone gets to experience. And my gratitude for being alive opens my eyes and heart to the daily miracles happening all around me. Whether it is a shift of the seasons, or a kind and loving gesture from a dear friend or family member, all of these impact and contribute to my overall health. They generate in me a depth of wholeness. They help me see the sacred in the ordinary and for this I am humbly grateful for the gift of being alive at this time period. 

Fourth, in the end, it’s relationships that matter the most. What most people don’t tell you is that retirement is a process of destruction and creation, all at the same time. As a society, we are so defined by our work identities. “I am a manager, consultant, business owner, vice-president, etc.”. This is how we introduce ourselves to others. These labels define so much of who we are and what we do. 

Then, when we retire, all of these labels start in the past tense, e.g. “I was fill in the blank.” It begins with a loss of identity, and an ending of self-definition. And at the exact same time, it starts the process of creating a new identity. This new identity is based on our relationships, i.e. husband, father, grandfather, friend, etc. These relationships become critical to our sense of health and well being. They are what truly matters, the essence of our true self. And I am embracing this whole life identity more as each season passes. 

For many people, retirement is framed up as “the good life.” And while it can be special, I believe the definition of the good life evolves over time. I can think back to many great days while working when I would have defined it as the good life, if not the best life. I also have memories of days when working was hard, challenging, and difficult. Those same kinds of days do not stop happening when we retire. They are still there, just in new forms. 

However, when I approach each new day remembering that life goes by faster than we think and that relationships are what matter the most, I can cope better with the new challenges of this season of my life. And I can continue to create a good life in the midst of it all. As a Hindu sage once shared, “The day is to be experienced, not understood.” I may not fully understand everything yet about being retired, but I am experiencing each day as fully as possible, and discovering the sacred within the ordinary. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

How To Create Order Out Of Chaos

Right now, life feels very chaotic. People are important decisions. Teams are struggling. And some events feel wildly insane. In the midst of it all, most of us just want some good, old fashion predictability and order. 

Now the classic British answer to this kind of situation is to “stay calm and carry on.” And this does work to a point, because most of us want to experience order and stability in our day to day lives. While there is no magic formula, I believe leaders can make five important choices to move themselves, their teams, and their organizations in that direction. It requires some heavy lifting, but if we are strong in mind, body, and spirit, it can be done. 

First, we must choose to respond rather than react to all that is happening around us and within us. Leaders, who typically react, start by being the judge, the controller, and/or the know-it-all when crazy times surface. I get these default choices and recognize that they work on some level. However, they do not generate clarity, commitment, or ownership of the problems. They also do not create the solutions that individuals and teams need to execute during hard times. Furthermore, they do not build meaningful levels of trust which can support people to take risks in their thinking or their actions. In short, the above three default choices result in fear or worry which are often the taproot for chaos.

When we choose to respond from the place of discernment, reflection, and then thoughtful decision-making, something different happens. In this way of moving forward, we recognize that thinking, discussing, and contemplation are all valuable steps to creating order out of chaos. Then, when the time comes for participation, practice, and execution, people feel they have been heard and understood. People also feel they have agency to make thoughtful choices rather than knee-jerk reactions. 

Second, we must offer clarity with kindness, not judgement. This begins with being respectful, and engaging in active listening when others share their thinking and reflections. In this digital age, this is very difficult to do in part because our attention spans are constantly being interrupted or distracted by news alerts or other reminders. As a result, few people actually focus long enough to speak coherently or listen thoughtfully. Most want to do all their communication by e-mail, text, or a series of emojis. Then, they do not need to have actual inter-personal engagement, which takes take too long and is so complicated. 

Still, offering clarity with kindness instead of judgement is a good choice. As part of this choice, we must create time and space to make it happen. We need to create distraction-free, concentration zones so people can relearn how to listen and share. In particular, we need to help people remember and/or experience for the first time the creation of clarity and understanding. They need to move from being unaware to aware, and then, with time, to understanding. This is hard work and offering kindness rather than judgement is a big part of creating the psychological safety to make it happen. 

Third, we must build on strengths, our own and others. At first this seems obvious, and yet few leaders truly understand their own strengths. And even fewer can articulate the strengths of their direct reports. I know this because during the last four months, many leaders have discussed with me about what to do with their direct reports who are struggling and/or not meeting expectations. Most of these discussions have revolved around how to coach people in these situations. What fascinates me is that when I ask the question, “What are the strengths of this individual?”, few, if any, can actually articulate these strengths. And I believe, this is the source of the problem. 

Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman in their seminal work, First, Break All The Rules: What The World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently. (Simon & Schuster, 1999), write: “each individual is true to his or her own unique nature…. great managers capitalize on this and try to help each person become more and more of who they already are.” I have learned over many decades of work that this is no small thing and requires on-going time and attention. For if we seek to build on their strengths, we must help employees understand their strengths, plus help them to learn new skills and knowledge to build on them. It is the combination of both elements that helps people improve. 

At the same time, we need to do likewise with our own strengths. Referencing Buckingham and Coffman’s work, they write: “one of the signs of a great manager is their ability is to describe, in detail, the unique talents of each of his or her people - what drives each one, how each one thinks, how each builds relationships.” I think this applies to us as leaders, too. We need to be able to describe these elements about ourselves. Because it is the convergence of both elements, our capacity to understand this about our direct reports and about ourselves that generates effective and creative ways to create order out of chaos. 

Fourth, we must be mindful of our inner dialogue. Many years ago, I was working with a head of HR who was very good at his job. His colleagues called him Yoda because of his insights and perspective. On the day we visited about a team leader who was struggling and was not able to get his team to function consistently over time, he turned to me and asked a great question: “What do you think is the story he is telling himself at this time period?”. At that moment, I stopped the analysis of what was happening, and just reflected on this question. Neither of us had chosen to inquire about his inner dialogue. We just had not considered this pathway. Later, when we did, we uncovered a whole new layer of information and solutions that shifted the entire situation. 

Since then, I have observed that leaders, who are able to make it through chaotic time periods, are very conscious about their inner dialogue. With trusted  allies and confidants, they explore it and share about it, attempting to gain perspective and insights to where they may be missing key information or taking certain pieces of information out of context. They work hard not to tell themselves stories that are not true, or to default to feelings that are not true perceptions of reality. In particular, they reflect deeply on whether or not what they are feeling and thinking is based on facts or an invented story they are telling themselves. In short, they are very mindful of their internal dialogue. 

Fifth, we must learn how to ask for help. In the world of leadership, this is not a common choice. Most leaders go it alone and push themselves to always know the answer to every question. They also hold unrealistic expectations about how much they can get done in a single day, week, or month. Routinely, they push past their capacity and then wonder why burnout takes place. 

But it does not need to be this way. We can learn how to ask for help. We can come to understand that being a leader does not mean one knows all and does all for everyone else. We can live and work in a manner that is responsible, respectable, and manageable. 

Yet, for many leaders, asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness or incompetence. Therefore, they choose not to do it. However, great leaders recognize that interdependence rather than independence is the only way to create order out of chaos. And within interdependence, asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but instead a sign of strength and clarity. By saying “I need your help and input on this problem”, we, as leaders, are role modeling integrity, clarity, and the importance of teamwork. We are also helping others to join with us to create less chaos and a more stable work environment. 

In the beginning, these five choices may seem elementary. However, when they are done together, they are actually an elegant solution to chaos. Because when these five choices converge, we seek unity over uniformity or conformity. We recognize our differences, and at the exact same time period, seek the common good that unites us all. In short, we create time and space where healthy connections and a common direction can bring us together. 

As Arthur Brooks reminds us, “… you can’t choose your feelings, but you can choose your reaction to your feelings.” And when things feel crazy and chaotic, we can choose to respond rather than react, offer clarity with kindness not judgement, be mindful of our inner dialogue, and learn to ask for help. And when this happens, we will be on the pathway to creating order of out of chaos. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Build Longer Tables

Nowadays, leaders are under a lot of pressure. They are expected to deliver impressive results every quarter. They are expected to create operational efficiency and amazing strategy, all at the same time. They also are expected to create highly engaged employees who are committed to the organization’s mission and who embrace the organization’s core values in word and deed. In short, they are expected to be a rainmaker and to improve profitability on a day to day basis.

However, the current business environment is volatile and uncertain. Still, we expect leaders to deliver. And they are trying with great effort to do this. The difficulty is that they are caught between offering certainty and stability to make the above happen, and, at the exact same time, they are supposed to generate new possibilities and potential. This is a very challenging combination. 

The outcome of this push pull situation is that many leaders end up in the place of self-judgement and self-criticism. They try hard to meet these expectations, but in the end, they can not generate amazing results in the midst of such ambiguity and uncertainty. Thus, they just give up on themselves and everything around them. In particular, they often abandon their team. They also feel defeated in the face of all that others expect and all they expect of themselves. They even feel hopeless, wondering if being a leader was worth all the time and effort they put in to try and make things better.

So, what do we do when this happens?

The answer came to me while I was listening to Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us Podcast and her interview of Dr. Heather Cox Richardson. During this discussion, Brene shared the phrase, “Don’t build walls; build longer tables.” It is a comment that just stopped me in my tracks, because it was a profound truth, elegantly captured in such a simple statement. And I have reflected on it for quite a while. 

First, it is normal when we are overwhelmed and under pressure to build internal walls to protect ourselves. The thicker they are and the higher they are the better. Self-preservation is a strong, innate response to possible threats and danger. 

But these walls lock us in as much as they lock out the dangers we perceive heading our way. I am reminded of something the late Stephen Covey wrote many years ago: “You can want to do the right thing, and you can even want to do it for the right reasons. But if you don’t apply the right principles, you can still hit the wall.” And when we build these high inner walls, we will inevitably hit the wall even if we are trying to do the right thing for the right reasons. 

Second, we often build walls and then wonder why people are not working with us to make something happen. We get deeply frustrated and even upset because positive change is not taking place. As Coco Chanel noted, “Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” We default to building the walls and then beat ourselves upon them, hoping they will turn into doors. 

When I reflect on this insight, I am reminded of an old French saying, “Change is a door that can only be opened from the inside.” The first step to dealing with the pressure and the expectations, realistic and unrealistic, is to find the door in the walls we have built and to open it. This requires us to pause in the midst of the pressure and to do something important. I gleaned this insight from a conversation with executive coach, author, and founder of The Restoration Project, Lindsay Leahy, who shared with me that we need to stop reacting to the requests of others and instead to start planning our priorities. And when we choose to do this level of inner work, we find greater focus and clarity. As the English poet, William Blake explains, “All we need to do is cleanse the doors of perception, and we shall see things as they are - infinite.” Defining our priorities is one part of cleansing the doors of our perception and opening up those doors to new and infinite possibilities. 

Another part of defining our priorities takes us to the third choice, namely to build longer tables. For as we define our priorities, at both the task and project levels plus at the relationship level, we often discover that we have more than enough to get the projects done if we include others in the process of achieving these priorities with us. Thus, when we build longer tables, we create personal capacity and also collective and generative capacity. When building longer tables, we reclaim our agency and support the agency of others. 

Then, when we gather at these longer tables, we rediscover our common ground and our common feelings and experiences. We also celebrate our differences and our diversity as well as share our stories. Rather than building higher inner walls that push others away, we can extend the table and offer generosity to others and ourself. 

I get the pressure leaders are under these days. I know it from the inside out. I am a native in this land rather than a tourist. I also know that by building longer tables, we can create new pathways to better ways of living and working. We also can rediscover infinite possibilities and infinite support. For in the end, we will realize that we are not alone in these struggles. And with the support of all those sitting with us at the longer table, we can move forward step by step through these challenging times. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change