Season’s Greetings

With the full holiday blitz just around the corner and all the joys and stress that come with it, some days life can feel a bit overwhelming. There are work events and home events. There are school events and neighborhood events. There are family expectations, and personal expectations. And, of course, there is holiday baking, decorating, shopping, and wrapping that all needs to happen in and around all of these things. In short, the wacky wild holidays are just kicking into high gear. 

So, what is a leader suppose to do? The work deadlines and customer service stuff does not go away. If anything, it just gets a bit more nuts during this time of year. Next, staff schedules become wonky (a new, official consulting term), and everyone wants something so that they can keep everyone in their immediate and extended family happy. 

After decades of doing this work, I am smart enough to know that there is no magic solution. There is no one thing that solves all such problems. However, there are some core practices that can help. First, turn to your faith and engage in daily prayer and meditation. Having a calm and quiet core helps. Second, recognize that physical exercise, even during the holidays, can help reduce the tension during high stress situations that often come with the season. And finally, practice gratitude and grace as you take each day and each moment that unfolds before you. Remember that everyone is doing the best they can with what they got and what they know. 

The holidays are a special time. They can be the foundation for life long memories and connections. Invest your time and energy in making this holiday season special and meaningful for you and for those you love. And on the days it gets a bit crazy, step back, take a deep breath, and remember: This too shall pass. 

I look forward to sharing many more Monday Thoughts with you in the New Year. Until then, I send you and yours my warmest holiday wishes.

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Leadership and 2024

Joel Kurtzman in his book, Common Purpose: How Great Leaders Get Organizations to Achieve The Extraordinary (Jossey-Bass 2010), writes: “Strategic leaders are people within organizations who plot the course... Strategic leaders generally can think far into the future...The best of these people understand where the future is going and how to get there.” He continues, “The role of operational leaders is quite different from those of strategic leaders. Operational leaders make certain the trains run on time, the manufacturing processes are adequate, the logistics systems work, the technicians are well trained, and the the trucks are where they are supposed to be.... like strategic leaders, operational leaders are vital to an organization’s success.” For Kurtzman and many other authors, both strategic leaders and operational leaders, who are often called management, are mission critical to successful execution over time. 

Whether one is strategic or operational, the key is to understand something very important that is frequently missed in the rush to get things done. What the best leaders understand is that leadership does not happen in some distant time period when we have our lives all together and in perfect order. It does not take place once we get everything and everyone all together. Instead, the moment for leadership happens when things are messy. Sanity and goodness may not always be present. However, this is the moment when we must rise up and be a leader. It is not “doing” leadership as a thing to get done, but instead it is a moment when we can choose to “be” the leader. And in that moment of leadership, it is our wise choices and our wise actions that will make the difference

For I have learned one thing by working with many leaders over many decades. We become a leader inch by inch, moment by moment, step by step, working with our minds and our hearts. And as we move forward, we need to take responsibility for our own state of mind before telling others what their state of mind should be. The mantle of leadership rests upon our shoulders and we can be strategic or operational depending on the situation before. 

This week and from now until the new year, I challenge you to be the leader that I know you can be. Take responsibility for your inner clarity and then make wise choices and take wise actions. Now is the time to make a positive difference in the world and within your circle of influence. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

A Big Question

During the last four months, I have had to ask a fair number of people a very big question: “Is this still the right job for you?”

Nine times out of ten, this stops the conversation. There is a long pause and then people reply, “Now that is a big question. And a good one. I haven’t thought about it from that angle. I really need to reflect on this. Thanks for making me think about it from that perspective.”

Now, some people respond quickly with “Definitely yes. I like this job. It is challenging in a good way.” Others pause and say, “No, I have outgrown this job. It is time for me to move on.”

I don’t ask this big question often, but at times it is the one we should ask ourselves to make sure we are moving in the right direction with our life, not just our jobs. 

For I have learned in my personal journey and as an executive coach that when we try to live a meaningful life within a meaningless job is not a recipe for success or a pathway to healthy living. Instead, it is a pathway to compromise, where potentially we end up not being true to our own values and to who we strive to be in the world. 

Therefore, at least once a year, it is time to pause and ask ourselves a very big question: “Is this still the right job for me?” If so, proceed accordingly. If not, begin the process of moving to a new path with better outcomes. The choice is ours to make and now is the time to think deeply about it. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Family and Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches this week, I am reminded of a quote by Tate Hallway: “Families - can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.” For many people, the gathering of family around a holiday meal can be challenging. For some, it triggers trauma and grief. For others, it is a source of gratitude and blessing. 

For me, the key word in the quote is “family.” Over many years, I have learned that we are all part of two families. First, there is the family we are born into. Second, there is the family that we create and gather around us along the way. Each impacts us and each have the potential to influence us.

My hope this week is that you can gather with the people who you call “family,” the people who you “can’t live without ‘em,” and that you celebrate the true meaning of Thanksgiving. I hope that on that day you can give thanks for all the love, support, joy, and blessings in your life. 

Life can be challenging. It also can be precious, if not miraculous. My hope for each of you this week is that you have the opportunity to be with the precious and the miraculous people in your life. 

From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Preparing for 2024

When I sit back and look at the big picture, and when I notice not just what people are doing, but also how they are preparing for 2024, one thing stands out from all the rest. It is not their plans or their objectives. It is not their excellent strategies, though these do help. Instead it is something quite simple that often gets overlooked in the rush to complete the fourth quarter of the calendar.

From where I sit, the companies who enter 2024 with healthy teams will survive 2024. They also will be well positioned for the second half of this decade. Those, who have dysfunctional teams or troubled teams, will struggle mightily. They may survive but, as my late dad would say, this will only happen “by the skin of their teeth.” 

For me right now, the secret sauce, or the key factor, which ever metaphor you like, is the creation and maintenance of healthy teams at all levels of the organization. The challenge is that this observation is very old school. Given my age, I am a touch old school. But from the conversations and visits I have had with a wide diversity of executives during the last six months, it is very clear to me that healthy teams will make a big difference in 2024. 

Recently, I was visiting about this with a very experienced executive and he said to me that many teams are suffering from “ABT.” 

I paused and thought to myself, “Huh. I have no idea what that is.” 

So I asked him, “What is ABT?”

He smiled and said, “ABT stands for Ain’t Been Taught. Too many teams and team leaders have not been taught how to be a part of a team and how to be a real team leader. It’s our job to teach them early and often. It’s our job to eliminate ABT.”

I smiled and agreed. 

So, between now and the end of the calendar year, that is my challenge to you. Eliminate ABT and create healthy teams so you will not just survive 2024, but come out well prepared for the second half of this decade. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

The Edge of Chaos

“Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news,” write Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist meditation master. When I first read this sentence, I had to stop reading. I reread it multiple times before I could begin to grasp the power and depth of this one short sentence. 

When I coach leaders in person or over the phone, I often remind them about The Law of Chaos: “The world does not change through balance, order and security, only through chaos.” This always stops the conversation for a moment. People have to really think about what I just shared with them. This is because most people in leadership and management positions are somewhat afraid of change, particularly any level of change that creates chaos. 

However, after many decades of working with these same leaders and managers, I have learned two things. First, it is not change that makes them uncomfortable. It is their fear of the messy unknown that comes with it. Second, it is their fear of losing control that makes them regard change as dangerous. As Richard Pascale, Mark Millemann and Linda Gioja in their book, Surfing The Edge of Chaos: The Laws of Nature and the New Laws of Business (Three Rivers Press, 2000), wrote “humans tend to regard chaotic that which they can not control.”

During times of market instability, and where leaders have limited visibility of the future, for me to tell an executive that chaos is “extremely good news,” they must think I have gone a touch crazy in my old age. Yet, what they fail to recognize is that an organization must move toward "the edge of chaos" and then stays there during times of limited visibility. They also need to remember The Law of Chaos. In order to go from one level of performance to a new, better and different level of performance, there is going to be a change in balance, order, or security. One can not maintain status quo and achieve a greater performance level. 

Still, the word “chaos” is not a widely used word in the world of leadership and organizational change. No leader this fall is going to stand up at an all employee town hall and tell them, “I have good news for all of you gathered here today. 2024 is going to be filled with lots of chaos. Congratulations! May you each be successful.”

I think we struggle with the word chaos because we do not understand the word chaos. The dictionary defines it as “complete disorder and confusion,” “a state of utter confusion or disorder,” and “behavior so unpredictable as to appear random.” And from this perspective, I would struggle with the word too. I don’t think a single person wakes up on a Monday morning and hopes that when they get to work everything and everyone will be in complete disorder, unpredictability, and utter confusion. 

And yet, the best and most courageous leaders know two things. First, we are moving to the edge of chaos, not into full chaos. Second, we are going to go through a normal period of organizational change called The Trough of Chaos where some people, not all people, will have to modify how they work, which can trigger issues related to control, order, and predictability. 

The key to unlocking the whole change and edge of chaos thing is focus on the definition of chaos. The word is defined as complete disorder and utter confusion. If, however, all involved understand the difference between what is not changing and what is changing, i.e. there is a plan, and if all involved understand what is normal human behaviors and leadership choices at the edge of chaos, i.e. we have clarity about the plan and what we will encounter as we execute it, then the edge of chaos can be challenging and tolerated. It could even be framed as “extremely good news.”

For what I have learned as an executive coach is that people and organizations can transform the edge of chaos into a challenge when they have clarity about the plan and their role in it, i.e. a strategic perspective, the support of a team, and a safety zone for strategic dialogue which includes the sharing of facts and feelings. 

Right now, when we think about 2024, we know it has the potential to be a challenging year on so many different levels. We also know there is the potential for a fair bit of chaos. And yet, we as leaders can make choices now to help all involved understand that we are prepared and working hard to go to “the edge of chaos.” And that we will stay dedicated and clear about our mission, vision, and core values in the midst of it. This way we will individually and collectively move through those challenging periods and come out on the other side of 2024 grounded and prepared for the second half of this decade. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Decision-Making And Discernment

There has been many books and articles written about decision-making. One exceptionally good article is the following: “Making Judgment Calls: The Ultimate Act of Leadership” by Noel M. Tichy and Warren Bennis in the October 2007 issue of the Harvard Business Review. It is well worth the time and effort to reread it as you work on preparing for next year. 

To build on the decision-making framework within the article, and as individuals and companies finalize the goals that will need to be accomplished during 2024, I think there is an important exercise we need to explore in order to help us when it comes to the execution of these new goals. 

First, think forward into 2024 and start with the premise that all the decisions have been made, all the actions have been taken, and that you have already reached your goal or goals.  Then, with this mind, ask yourself the following two questions:

- What will be the impact and/or outcome of reaching this goal or these goals by the fourth quarter of 2024?

- In what new ways, would we have acted in order to reach this goal or these goals by the fourth quarter of 2024?

Second, recognize that discernment about outcomes and the pathways we choose to reach those outcomes are critical to successful leadership. Decisions about goals, and discernment about choices post the decisions are critical to short and long term success. 

Now is the time to give ourselves permission to think forward and to think realistically about the future and about how to achieve the outcomes we seek. 

Then, we can make 2024 one of our best years yet. 

This week, answer the above two questions for yourself, and then explore them with your team. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

The Need For Courage In The Face Of Uncertainty

Introduction

Given the degree of market uncertainty, political polarization, and labor pool instability, leaders at all levels are struggling. They are uncertain about how to move forward strategically, and how fast to move forward operationally. Given the last three years, they do not want to place themselves or their organization at risk. They know there are many unforeseen variables at play. As a result, they can not easily see the big picture. Therefore, they hesitant on how to proceed. When discussing this current situation with me, many have asked, “What should I do? I am not sure what is the next step.”

After much listening and subsequent reflection, my response has been the following: “It is time for you to find the place of courage inside you, and then to act from this place. This sounds simple, but it will not be easy. Courage is a complex choice, and requires complex actions.”

What Is Courage?

For people of a certain age, the word courage has a direct connection to a book called Profiles In Courage by John F. Kennedy. Published in 1956, this volume of short biographies describes the acts of bravery and integrity by eight United States senators who defied the opinions of their party and their constituents to do what they felt was right. As a result, they suffered severe criticism and losses in popularity. 

For others, the subject of courage leads them to the work of Brene Brown, the professor, who is known for her work on shame, vulnerability and leadership, and author of such books as Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and Atlas Of The Heart. As she writes, “Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is ‘cor’ - the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart’.” What ever the source of our understanding about the word courage, I think we need to dive more deeply into the meaning of it. 

The dictionary defines courage as “the ability to do something that frightens you” and “strength in the face of pain or grief.” Other sources define the word as “the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation,” and “the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.” 

On one level, I like these definitions because they focus on the ability to do something difficult even when there is risk. But a deeper exploration into this word reveals that courage is a quality of mind and spirit that enables someone to act in spite of fear, risk and uncertainty. Courage reflects the moral and mental strength to do what is right, with confidence, determination, and resolution. Upon reflection, it is clear to me that courage come from within. It is a choice to live and act with compassion, and integrity.

Actions Of The Heart

Referencing back to Brene’ Brown’s definition of courage, all of these choices are actions of the heart. The question then is the following: “What are the actions of the heart we need to take at this time period?” The answer is a challenging one. 

First, we need to choose a different paradigm of leadership. The traditional leadership paradigm given current events is to default to a command and control form of leadership. It is the way many leaders over time have chosen to cope with the inevitable and constant, messy elements of organizational change within an unstable market. These leaders choose to lead based on their job title and positional authority. Often, they lead from behind through fear, intimidation, and dominance. Their actions generate a forced movement forward, but over time it mostly maintains status quo, and lowers any level of disequilibrium or chaos in order to increase predictability, i.e. stability over change. 

However, courageous leaders, who choose to lead from the heart, understand that they must not lead from above or behind, but instead to lead from within. They do this by walking with others through the world of organizational change. These leaders choose a paradigm of collaboration, connection, and co-creation which results in all involved owning and understanding what needs to get done and how it needs to get done. They recognize that courageous leaders do not create followers or subordinates, but instead create partners and colleagues. And within this level of relationship, there is the generation of commitment based on clarity rather than fear. 

Second, we need to choose to be vulnerable when dealing with risk and uncertainty. At first glance, this seems like a wildly, non-logical choice. However, when we understand this choice from a larger perspective, we can grasp that it is a very smart choice. 

Brene’ Brown in her book, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience (Random House, 2021), writes “Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure…. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” Recognizing that vulnerability is a feeling and a choice, she continues, “Choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable because it requires us to surrender to uncertainty. We have to ask questions, admit not knowing, risk being told that we shouldn’t be asking, and sometimes, make discoveries that lead to discomfort.” 

When we choose to be vulnerable, we are choosing to ask more questions and to listen to more people and more diverse ideas. In essence, we are expanding our perspective in order to be courageous, i.e. walk with others and to partner with others so we can co-create effective solutions. 

Brene’ Brown in her book, Dare To Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (Random House, 2018), notes that “You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability.” As she explains, “A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard…. Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability.” And for me, this is why choosing to be vulnerable is an action of the heart and it is a wise choice in the face of uncertainty and risk.

Third, we need to expand our networks with new relationships in order to gain more new insights. Herminia Ibarra in her book, Act Like A Leader, Think Like A Leader (Harvard Business Review Press, 2015) note that effective leaders have three networks, namely an operational one, a personal one, and a strategic one. As she writes, “The first helps you manage current internal responsibilities, the second boosts personal development, and the third focuses on new business directions and the stakeholders you must get on board to pursue these directions.” In particular, the third network, the strategic one, “is made up of relationships that help you to envision the future, sell your ideas, and get the information and resources you need to exploit these ideas…. A good strategic network gives you connective advantage: the ability to marshal information, support, or other resources from one of your networks to obtain results in another.” I have seen leaders who have all three networks in place and, as a result, do amazing things during difficult times. 

But, upon reflection, I have realized that courageous leaders have a fourth network, namely a wisdom network made up of mentors and advisors who help on a completely different level. John O’Donohue, the late Irish poet, author and priest, calls these people “friends.” As he explains, “In these times of greed and externality, there is such unusual beauty in having friends who practice profound faithfulness to us, praying for us each day without our ever knowing or remembering it. There are often lonesome frontiers we could never endure or cross without the inner sheltering of these friends. It is hard to live a true life that endeavors to be faithful to its own calling and not become haunted by the ghosts of negativity; therefore, it is not a luxury to have such friends; it is necessary.” For me, this wisdom network is made up of “friends” and wise mentors who practice being present when we are stretched, and when asked, are willing to offer guidance, counsel, and insights, all actions that come from the heart. 

The convergences of these three actions of the heart, namely to choose a leadership paradigm based on collaboration, connection, and co-creation, to  choose vulnerability over control, and to expand our networks with new relationships in order to gain new insights, yields the capacity to be courageous, i.e. to have the moral and mental strength to do what is right, with confidence, determination, and resolution in spite of the fear, the risks, and the endless unforeseen variables and uncertainties that come with being a leader. 

The Inner Revolution Precedes The Outer One

“We can’t opt out of the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure that’s woven throughout our daily experiences. Life is vulnerable,” writes Brene’ Brown in her book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Avery, 2012). Being a leader means we have to deal with this uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure on a daily basis. However, just because these elements are normal does not mean that they are easy to deal with, or that we are comfortable in dealing with these elements. Life may be vulnerable and it may be challenging. But as leaders we still have to make important choices for us as individuals, and for us collectively, i.e. for the company as a whole. 

With this in mind, I believe we need to remember the following text from the I Ching, an ancient Chinese book that has served for thousands of years as a study of change in human life, a guide to an ethical life, and a manual for rulers. As the author wrote, “No revolution in outer things is possible without prior revolution in one’s inner way of being. Whatever change you aspire to . . . must be preceded by a change in heart.” 

When we grasp the magnitude of this ancient insight, we realize that the inner work of courage will always precedes the outer work of courage. We also understand the importance of doing our inner work on a regular basis and in a disciplined manner. For when this happens, we create the moral and mental strength to do what is right, with confidence, determination, and resolution. We also choose to live and act with compassion and integrity. And given currents events in the world, this is a powerful and transformative action in the face of fear, risk, and uncertainty. 

© Geery Howe 2023

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Facing The Unknown

Introduction

Crossing the threshold to retirement has been more than a transition. It has been a rite of passage into a new and, for me, uncharted territory. I have moved  away from the “grace of presence and belonging” to a work community, a phrase from the late Irish poet John O’Donohue, into a new world. 

For many people in the work world, the retirement rite of passage is focused on saying good-bye to the one who is leaving the workforce. And this is an important and meaningful experience for all involved. But, on the other side of this experience, there is not a rite of passage for welcoming someone into the world of retirement. Instead, we stumble into retirement, wondering what is next, and we are perplexed by all the new possibilities.  

From my experience during this past year, I still can not comprehend the full weight of retirement. It has taken me nearly a year to grasp the impact of it, and I think it will take me five more years to fully comprehend it. Still, I have learned a few things along the way that I can share with you.  

An Ending & A New Beginning

Shortly after I retired from all work related travel and teaching, I was in the office working on a piece writing. The phone rang and I answered it. It was a client from many years ago and he wanted to know when the next Executive Roundtable was going to take place, because he wanted to bring his whole team. 

I paused and said, “Oh my. I have retired. There are not going to be any more Roundtables.”

“Wow,” he responded. “A great man has died today.”

I did not respond as I was quickly reviewing the day’s news in my head. I had no idea who he were referring to that moment. Finally, I said, “Who?”

“You,” he replied. 

I was stunned. 

“I did not die. I retired,” I explained. “I just stopped 35+ years of traveling and going to numerous meetings per week and teaching numerous seminars and workshops per month. I am still reading, learning, living, and exploring. I am just not doing it within a traditional work environment.”

As I reflected on this conversation, I came to realize that many people have framed up the idea of retirement as an ending. And, on one level, it is an ending. But, for me and many others I have visited with who are further down the pathway than I am, it also is a transition into something new, an evolution, and for some, a complete transformation of self-definition. It is an opportunity to no longer be defined by a job description and a job title. Instead, it provides a person the time and space to explore, think, reflect, and over time create a whole new way of living and moving through the world. 

Explore A Variety of New Schedules

One of the first things that happened when I retired is that I did not know how to start me day. After many decades of doing certain things in a specific order so I could be focused on the right and important things that needed to get done that day, I found myself adrift in options, potential, and a smattering of various possibilities. Over time, I did figure it out how to start my morning off, which I will share shortly. However, not knowing how to start my day was a symptom of a larger problem, namely I did not know how to define a day. 

On one level, this seems a simple problem.  Just go out and start the day. But, in reality, most of my Monday through Friday schedules had been defined by work. For example, I needed to be in the office by a specific time in order to be available for clients. My day ended when most other working people ended their work day. In between, there were meetings, trainings, and consultations. Some years, I had certain events scheduled eighteen months in advance. 

And then, retirement showed up. My calendar was mostly empty. I did not need to be in the office by a specific time, or at all. I did not need to end my day around a specific time. It was liberating and deeply frustrating because my day was no longer defined by “normal working hours.” Instead, I could organize it any which way I wanted. And the difficulty was that I did not know what I wanted because I had no memory of this kind of life, a life not defined by a clock, projects, and deadlines. 

So, the first step was to try a whole lot of schedules and see what worked, referencing the writing of Collins and Porras in their book, Built To Last. The difficulty was that this took time, energy, and a lot of experimentation. 

While I wanted a fast solution, I quickly realized that this was not going to take place. Experimentation is experimentation. So, day after day, I tried one way of moving through the day and then another. It was a long journey. 

After eight months, I have finally found a comfortable daily schedule. I created a morning start to the day pattern which helped me tremendously. Next, I created two “work zones,” for lack of a better term. The morning one is about two and a half hours long, and the afternoon one is roughly two hours long. Then, I developed an end of the day pattern before moving into the whole dinner routine. This is one of my favorite parts of the afternoon because it involves walking the dog and, depending on the time of the year, greeting the neighborhood children as they come home from school. 

The key to all of this is that I had to give myself permission to experiment and slowly figure it over time. For now, it is a work-in-progress. Still, an 85 year old mentor and friend of mine has encouraged me to start taking a nap after lunch. He says it makes a big difference during the second half of the day. I just smile and remind him that I am just starting the retirement pathway. When I am in my 80’s, I am sure I will add this to my daily schedule. 

Be Still And Reflect Deeply

As I mentioned earlier, I found that my daily schedule had been tossed up in the air and returned to earth in a tumbled pile when I retired. As a result, many of the things I normally did during each part of the day were either not needed or no longer applicable. I felt lost. 

One day, I told my wife, Jane, “I just don’t know how to start my day anymore.” She responded, “You will figure it out. Give it time and be patient.” And so, I slowly moved forward, testing and exploring different ways to start my day. 

In the beginning, I tried to slow down my morning routine and drink more coffee.  The outcome was being wired on caffeine and not sure what to do. Then, one morning, I decided to do something that seemed to work so well for my wife, Jane. It was one of her morning practices, namely sitting down and doing her “daily readings.”

Now, every morning, I sit in the same chair for 20 - 30 minutes with a pile of books, and a good cup of coffee. Some mornings, I read a chapter in one book or a couple of pages in another book, all for the purpose of gaining new insights, on-going learning, and deep study into a variety of topics. 

This collection of books has evolved over time, but they all have one thing in common. They are written by authors who I deeply respect given their life journeys or expertise. They are inspirational in nature, and many are faith based. They are all sources of wisdom and perspective. 

The outcome of my morning readings and the subsequent reflection that comes from this quality writing is that I find myself less stressed and overwhelmed by life’s on-going challenges. It slows down my feeling that life is unfolding faster than I can handle it. It reduces the cognitive and emotional intensity of my reactions to difficult issues and challenges. But on a deeper level, my morning readings fill me up with hope and a renewed inner clarity about how to move forward into this period of life called retirement. For this, I am eternally grateful to my wife for role modeling this practice and for the many authors who have written such excellent resources for a whole and faithful life. 

Continue To Seek Guidance & Perspective

I spent the majority of my career defining problems and solving problems. Some were technical and others were adaptive. Some were complicated and others were complex. Most had a time element to them and involved a group process. I liked this work and the resulting outcomes. It felt like I was making a difference in the world. And then, retirement happened. 

In the beginning, I turned all this problem solving energy into weekly projects. I mowed the grass on time, and took out the trash and recycling on time. I did the laundry on time and my part of the house cleaning on time. Then, I realized I had a problem, and it was me. 

When I was working five days a week, I had a schedule and many things to look forward to each week and each weekend. When I retired and after the initial rush of freedom, I realized that I did not have many things that I was looking forward to doing. For example, taking the trash and the recycling to the curb early, the first one on the block, could not be one of the highlights of my week. In short, while I like daily and weekly routines, I definitely needed to have things that I looked forward to each week. 

The solution was pretty simple once I figured it out. I needed to get back out in the world and visit with people. I needed to stay connected with my kitchen table cabinet, my circle of “advisors” and friends who have helped me all along. In particular, I needed to continue to seek out their guidance and perspective on a wide variety of subjects, including retirement. I needed to share, listen, and explore ideas, problems, and life’s ongoing challenges. In short, I needed to schedule time each week where I would look forward to being with someone and visiting with them, usually over a good cup of coffee, and on a special occasion a nice muffin or pastry. 

Keep Learning

Upon reflection, retirement has taught me about the immense nearness of today’s choices and the mysterious distance of the future possibilities. There will always be new options and opportunities to experiment, to seek out the wisdom and counsel of others, and to reflect deeply.  The key is to remind myself that I was a work-in-progress before I retired, and that I will continue to be a work-in-progress during my retirement. 

As Father Richard Rohr remind us,“The visible world is an active doorway to the invisible world, and the invisible world is much larger than the visible.” As a retired person, I have more time and space now to explore the visible and the invisible, all with the goal of becoming my best and true self. Thus for me, retirement is the next step on a pathway I have been traveling my whole life. It is a new beginning and a line of continuity all at the same time. And each day, I am grateful for the opportunity to keep moving forward. 

© Geery Howe 2023

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257