“Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.” - Brene’ Brown
In the face of overwhelming situations, we often make a choice to abandon our own inner clarity, truth, and integrity in order to conform to the expectations, desires, or wishes of others. “In this rush to conform,” writes Martha Beck in her book, The Way of Integrity: Finding The Path To Your True Self (The Open Field/A Penguin Life Book, 2021), “we often end up ignoring or overruling our genuine feelings - even intense ones, like longing or anguish to please our cultures. At that point, we’re divided against ourselves. We aren’t in integrity (one thing) but in duplicity (two things). Or we may try to fit in with a number of different groups, living in multiplicity (many things).” By abandoning our own deep inner truth in the face of overwhelming situations, we also often choose control over courage. And control never works!
When I think of courage, I think of something that Brene’ Brown wrote in her book, Dare To Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (Random House, 2018): “You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. Embrace the suck.” As she continues, “Courage is a collection of four skill sets that can be taught, observed and measured.” The four skill sets are: rumbling with vulnerability, living into our values, braving trust, and learning to rise. As I have learned from her writing, courage and fear are not mutually exclusive. Most of us feel brave and afraid at the exact same time.
Furthermore, in the face of overwhelming situations, we need to overcome our natural resistance to growth and change. One way to do this is to ask ourselves and others the following questions put for by Robert Cooper in his book, The Other 90%: How to Unlock Your Vast Untapped Potential For Leadership & Life (Crown Business, 2001):
- What’s the most exceptional thing you've done this week?
- What’s the most exceptional thing you will do next week?
- What did you do this week that made you the proudest?
The answers to these three questions give us a window into whether or not we are acting with courage and integrity. They can help us to regain perspective, focus, and over time courage. As the opening quote notes, integrity is a choice and now is the time to choose wisely.
No comments:
Post a Comment