Monday, October 11, 2021

Finding Meaning In The Midst of Loss

So many people have passed away during this global pandemic. So much has been lost. It has impacted each of us in many different ways. And it will continue to impact us for generations to come.


What we as leaders need to understand this fall is that we are experiencing grief and mourning at the same time. Grief is about what we think and feel on the inside when some one we know or love dies. On the other hand, mourning is the outward expression of our internal grief. It is a process of adapting to the changes created by this loss. It involves deep reflection and introspection at the individual and collective levels. And this becomes a catalyst for personal development and growth.


Yet, when I think about the grief and losses so many have experienced, both personally, professionally, and organizationally, I do not see leaders creating time or space for the collective mourning of our losses. I also do not see us creating a celebration of life for those who have made it this far.


Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler defined The Grieving Cycle as having the following stages:


The first stage is denial which begins with the shock, pain and guilt related to the passing of a loved one. This helps us survive the loss. It recognizes that on one level the world has become meaningless and overwhelming.


The second stage is anger. This is an indication of the intensity of our loss and our love.


The third stage is bargaining. Here, we engage in a temporary truce with what is happening. It is a way not to deal with the pain of the loss.


The fourth stage is depression. Here, our attention moves into the present rather than the loss of the past. This is a normal and appropriate response


The fifth stage is acceptance. As we accept the reality of what has happened, we learn to live with the loss. We also begin making new connections and new relationships.


David Kessler recently wrote there is a sixth stage to The Grieving Cycle, namely finding meaning.


When I visit with leaders who want to get to this stage, most of them are focused on doing an organizational review of the global pandemic response and the experiences that took place within it. Here, they want to determine the impact that the global pandemic has had on the organization, departments, teams and the people. In essence, they are engaged a in massive After Action Report.


So far, two interesting things have surfaced during these in-depth reviews. First, successfully scaling across the organization was the precursor to scaling up pandemic solutions. Within the adaptive response to the global pandemic, those who fostered networks of relationships across the organization had the capacity to get ideas and beliefs to travel, adapt, evolve, and grow faster than others. Second, those who were successful did not reduce those relationships to transactional interactions. Those who were successful also focused on maintaining the relationships while getting the tasks done.


If we seek to find meaning in the midst of loss, we must create time and space for people to grieve, mourn and reflect. It is the sum of these three things that will give us the ability to learn, grow and be resilient during the coming months and years.


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

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