Maintain Perspective

We were sitting in a meeting and the young person across the table started talking about the “good old days.”  I was intrigued by this comment, so I asked, “When were these good old days?”

“The late 90’s,” he replied. “It was so easy back then to get things done and to make things happen.”

And then, he proceed to tell me all about the late 90’s and how business leaders back then did not struggle like we do today. 

I just smiled, and replied: “I have been doing this work since the mid-80’s. I have helped a wide variety of organizations, for-profit and non-profit, figure out how to move through the challenges that were before them. I even helped them during the ‘good old days’ of the late 90’s, which, by the way, were not always that good. 

For example, the internet was on the rise and changing how businesses ran their day to day operations plus what strategic investments they needed to make. Non-profits were worried about funding streams and how to recruit and retain employees. Next, the Silver Tsunami, i.e. the retirement of the baby boomers, was just beginning to impact companies and all of them were worried about where the next generation of middle and upper management were going to come from.  

Furthermore, there were even a series of global economic financial crises in the late 90’s that threatened the U.S. economy. Yes, there were economic boon times in the 90’s, but the best leaders knew they would not last forever. And they were right when the dot-com bubble burst in March of 2001, and was followed by a devastating recession. 

Some days, we forget that we have been through hard times before. The best leaders take the long view and remember that hard times will come again, especially if you have lived through them once or twice before. These leaders always focus on being prepared. 

I get that from your perspective the late 90’s were the good old days. But from my perspective, they were just the old days and an opportunity to learn from that history so we do not repeat the same mistakes over and over again.”

Then, we proceeded to discuss the lessons learned from the last 20 years. We talked about hard times and good times, easy times and challenging times. Those around the table that day realized that there is a tendency to experience selective organizational Alzheimers when it comes to thinking about the past, i.e. we either remember all of the good things and none of the struggles, or we remember all the struggles and none of the good things. The key is not to forget the past as much as to learn from it. 

As the best leaders understand, history changes us, and it changes the people around us. Our goal is to understand these changes and to respect these changes. As leaders, it is not to judge people as much as to remember that in the past people did the best they could with the information and tools that they had. Our hopes is that we can do even better when it is our turn to rise to the challenges of our hard times. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Build On Strengths

A long time ago, when I was a much younger man, I wrote an article on the need for team spirit, not just team work. One day, it got published in a national magazine for leaders. It was only a single column by the time they edited it, but there was my name, my photo, and my telephone number. I was so excited. I believed that it was going to be the gateway to all sorts of new speaking engagements and consultations. 

On the day it was published, I just knew the phone would be ringing off the hook. People would read my article and be inspired. I made sure to be close by the phone all day. However, no one called on that day and no called for quite some time. I was pretty bummed out by this outcome. 

Then, one day a man from Des Moines, Iowa called me, and said he had read my article. He liked it and wondered if I was ever in the Des Moines area. If so, he would love to get together and visit. 

My first response, which I did not share with him, was I wondered if he was ever in the West Branch, Iowa area. Why did I need to drive two hours to see him? He should be coming to see me. Instead, I told him I needed to check my calendar and see if I had any openings. 

About a week later, he called me back and inquired again. He told me where his office was and I looked over my calendar in greater detail. I discovered that I was speaking at a hotel across the street from his office and we lined up a time when I could visit with him. 

On the day of our visit, I walked into his office and realized I was about to talk with someone who was very important. His name was Joe Batten, MS, CPAE. He was the author of fourteen books, and involved in four training films about management, sales, and leadership. He also presented to over three thousand audiences in seventeen countries, and was the first speaker inducted into the National Speakers Association Hall of Fame. What surprised me even more was that he wanted to talk with me. 

When I walked into his office, he greeted me quite warmly, motioned to a nearby seat, and then we sat down together. He started by saying, “I liked your article. I thought it had some really good points. How did you figure this stuff out?”

I was stunned that he wanted to hear my thoughts. Here was a man who did what I did for a living and who had been doing it for forty years, which was longer than I had been alive. And on this very day, he was interested in my ideas. So, I shared some of my thinking.

After a bit, he said, “Interesting. I like that perspective.”

Then, I asked him a question. “So, after forty years of doing this work, what have you figured out about teams, leadership, and organizational change?”

“Not much,” he replied. 

I sat silently and waited. I could see he was thinking.

“Well,” he continued. “I do have one thing that I have figured out. The key is to build on strengths.” 

That was it. He didn’t say much more about the subject. Just that one short and powerful insight. We chatted a bit longer, and I thanked for our visit. Then, I needed to get back to the hotel across the street where I was to be the capstone speaker to the conference. 

We never visited again. He got busy and I got busy. Still, I have reflected on what he shared with me for many years.  

The insight he shared with me that afternoon was discovered long before Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman wrote their book, First, Break All The Rules: What The World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently (Simon & Schuster, 1999). It was shared long before the Gallup organization did their research on strengths based leadership and the Q12. His insight came from being with people, listening to people, and observing what worked and didn’t work. 

Upon reflection, building on strengths seems like a such a simple statement, and yet it is a powerful one. Gallup has the research and the data to back it up.  Joe Batten just had the experience and wisdom to figure it out on his own. 

For when we choose to build on the strengths of people, teams, and the company as a whole, we create the ability to move through hard times better. When we acknowledge our own strengths as a leader as part of this process, we also acknowledge our own weaknesses. Then, we can build on our strengths and surround ourselves with people who have the strengths that will help us overcome our weaknesses. 

Again, the idea of building on strengths during hard times sounds simple, but it is not easy. It will take great discipline and hard work to do it in a consistent manner. Understanding this idea is important. But we must remember the advice that Marshall Goldsmith and Kelly Goldsmith wrote in their article called “Helping People Achieve their Goals” in the Winter 2006 issue of Leader to Leader magazine. As they explained, “Real change requires effort.” With an on-going commitment to building on strengths, all involved can work through operational and strategic challenges, even in the midst of hard times. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

The Importance Of Strategic Dialogue

“I believe we can change the world if we start listening to one another again,” writes Margaret Wheatley in her book, Turning To One Another: Simple Conversations To Restore Hope To The Future (Berrett-Koehler, 2009). “Simple, honest, human conversation. Not mediation, negotiation, problem-solving, debate, or public meetings. Simple, truthful conversation where we each have a chance to speak, we each feel heard, and we each listen well.” Clearly, listening is one of the oldest and perhaps the most important tools for creating a shared understanding and a resilient mindset at the individual and group level.

The purpose of strategic dialogue is to share, define, and create clarity about strategic context, direction, and how to move in the proposed direction. It is a small group, safety zone built on a foundation of mutual respect. It is a time to slow down, listen, think, share, and reflect.

A strategic dialogue may be messy at times, but we need to remember that dialogue is the pathway to clarity and new insights. As Margaret Wheatley reminds us, “This messy stage doesn’t last forever, although it can feel like that. But if we suppress the messiness at the beginning, it will find us later on, and then it will be disruptive. Meaningful conversations depend on our willingness to forget neat thoughts, clear categories, narrow roles. Messiness has its place. We need it anytime we want better thinking or richer relationships.”

Furthermore, those who create time for strategic dialogue recognize two things. First, a company is nothing more than the sum of the relationships we have with each other and with those it serves. If this network is healthy, then their actions are healthy. In-depth listening and sharing is the foundation for it being healthy. 

Second, it recognizes a key point that Wheatley shared: “People are the solution to the problems that confront us. Technology is not the solution, although it can help. We are the solution - we as generous, open-hearted people who want to use our creativity and caring on behalf of other human beings and all life.” 

In the beginning, the best strategic dialogues start with a question. Here, are a few to consider: Where are we now? How did we get here from there? How will we get there from here? 

If your group is experienced in holding strategic dialogues, then I would dive into a more complex set of questions. Jon Katzenbach, Ilona Steffen and Caroline Kronley in their article,“Cultural Change That Sticks” from the July-August 2012 issue of the Harvard Business Review, offer the following two deeply thought-provoking questions: “If we had the kind of culture we aspire to, in pursuit of the strategy we have chosen, what kinds of new behaviors would be common? And what ingrained behaviors would be gone?” This line of exploration will yield new insights and perspective that help all understand the strategic intent of the company and the cultural priorities that it is focusing on at this time period. 

Once we have figured out the right question or questions, we need to remember that a successful strategic dialogue is built on active listening more than active telling. As Stephen Covey wrote years ago, “Real listening shows respect. It creates trust. As we listen, we not only gain understanding; we also create the environment to be understood. And when both people understand, both perspectives, instead of being on opposite sides of the table looking across at each other, we find ourselves on the same side looking at solutions together.” 

Given the events of the last three years, we need to create more space for dialogue. We also need to reclaim time to be together and to share together. “In times of stress,” wrote Mr. Rogers, “the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” The choice to engage in strategic dialogue requires leaders and all involved to have courage, faith, and time. And to remember what Ken Blanchard wrote many years ago: “We all have pieces.... The world and its problems are too complicated to go it alone. Together is better.”

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Meta-Messages Build Culture

Years ago, I was invited to speak at an all employee gathering for a large company. When I entered the theater-like auditorium, all of the seats up front were full. So, I ended up sitting in the very last row. 

It was dark back there when I sat down. My fellow back row seat mates warmly greeted me. As I looked around, I realized that I was sitting with all of the maintenance men, janitors, and cleaning ladies. I smiled because during a certain period in my life journey, I had been a maintenance man. 

One of them looked up, shook my hand, and said, “Welcome to the cheap seats. This should be fun.” 

I smiled and replied, “I hope today’s speaker is pretty good.”

The fellow winked at me and said, “Me too. Hey, here comes the CEO  He is going to give his annual state of the company speech.”

The lights dimmed even more as the CEO approached the podium. He thanked every one for coming, and then launched into his speech. As he moved through his prepared remarks, the men and women around me began to give a quiet, colorful commentary about what he was saying. I had to chuckle, because some of it was quite insightful. 

Then, the fellow who shook my hand, turned to the group, and said, “Wait for it.  Wait for it. He is going to say it one more time. It’s coming.”

Around me, everyone one started whispering. 

“No, he can’t say it one more time.”

“Oh yes, he will. He says it every year. Mark my words. He is on a five year run with it.”

Then, there was a long pause. The CEO leaned forward, and said, “This is the best thing since sliced bread has arrived this side of the Mississippi.”

“Bingo!”, shouted the man next to me. “Six years in a row. And it’s total BS. Every year we hear that this year is going to be transformational. And every year, it is the same old story. Work harder, work longer, and we are going to change the world. But the senior leaders never come and listen to us. We know the customers. We interact with everyone on every floor of the company. Most don’t see us, and most don’t treat us very well. We are just the cleaning and fixing stuff people. If they only knew how that felt. No one would talk about sliced bread and radical transformation. Respect is more than an annual speech.”

I just nodded my head and smiled. The man next to me then asked, “ Hey, what do you do at this company? Because no one usually sits with us.”

Before I could respond, the woman who had hired me came up on to the stage, walked to the podium, and started introducing me. When she was done, she said, “And where are you, Geery? I can’t see you from here.”

I stood up, and waved my hand. “I am here,” I replied. 

And then before walking to the front, I turned and shook the hands in the back row, thanking them for welcoming me into their group. They all laughed. 

As I turned to walk down the aisle, the man seated next to me, reached out his hand, patted me on the back, and said, “No sliced bread, OK?”

I nodded, and said, “Got it.”

He winked, and replied, “Knock it out of the park today. We need it.”

Once I arrived at the podium, I talked about my life journey, and my choice to leave the east coast where I grew up and move to the midwest. I shared about an Iowa farmer who taught me, “What you feed, grows.” I shared about living in a small town where we all looked out for each other, because we were all in it together. I shared about men and women who taught me about respect, dignity, and compassion. I shared about the choice of one teacher to see her students as whole people rather than broken individuals with significant disabilities I shared how her choice was transforming a life, their families, and their community. 

When I was all done speaking and those gathered clapped, I looked to the back row. They were all standing up. Collectively, they gave me a thumbs up. I nodded in their direction, and mouthed, “Thank-you.” They smiled, waved, and went about their day. 

As leaders, we forget that even on the busiest of days, people are always listening. But they are not just focused on our words, they are mostly focused on our meta-messages, the actions we take, or do not take, to support the oral messages we are speaking. 

The best and most thoughtful leaders recognize that their non-verbals always speak louder than their verbal messages. These meta-messages are the primary source of communication. They reflect a person’s fundamental beliefs. 

Furthermore, for these leaders, the idea of “walking the talk” is not a New York Times best-seller book, kind of concept. Instead, it is a conscious choice to treat everyone they meet with unconditional kindness, and respect. These leaders understand that a healthy organizational culture is the sum of interactions we have on a daily basis. And whether you are a senior vice president working on the development of a 3 - 5 year strategic plan, or a janitor cleaning the bathroom, these leaders know that each employee needs to know that their part is important and that it makes a difference. They need to know that their leaders see them and understand that they matter and that their job matters. For when our meta-messages are based on conducting ourself with this level of integrity, then we are making a difference and building resilience even if we are living in hard times. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Faith Is Foundational

A while back, I was struggling with a large and complex problem related to how people were treating each other. I was feeling pretty hopeless about it, and could not see a path forward. Every possible scenario I explored seemed impossible. I was stumped. 

Our youngest son was home for a visit and he asked me, “What’s up, Dad? You seem troubled.”

And the reality was that I was troubled. So, I explained to him the problem and that I did not know how to move forward. He listened well, and then shared, “The chapter in that book has not yet been written, Dad. You have to wait, and be patient. It will unfold in time, and then you will know how to move forward. You are part of a much larger story. Just be patient and have some faith. It will change. It always changes over time.”

I sat there with tears in my eyes, because he was right. I did need to have faith in the people involved, and faith in the process. I also needed to have faith in myself. 

And then, as time passed, the complex and confusing problem began to change. People made different choices and better choices. Thoughtfulness, rather than reactivity, started to surface. Kindness and compassion again became part of the journey. I just needed to be faithful and to recognize that the chapter in that book called life had not been written yet.  

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

You Are The Curriculum

It is common during hard times for a senior leader to call me up, and request that I come and deliver a leadership seminar. They believe that once the training is completed, all will be right in the world again. In particular, they believe that all who participated in this training will be, once again, motivated, focused, and ready to charge forth. They will then have the capacity to overcome anything and everything.

While I am strong believer in the transformational power of education, I am not always certain that a seminar is the first place to go during hard times. Instead, I believe we need to start by asking an important question: What are the characteristics of a leader worth following?

During the 24 years that I taught the From Vision to Action Leadership Training, a year long and in-depth course about leadership, strategic planning, and organizational change, I asked this question of my students and dove deeply into their answers. We explored and debated the characteristics of a leader worth following, particularly during organizational change and difficult periods with numerous adaptive problems. 

Over and over during these lively discussions, students shared with me that the leader they choose to follow was someone who was caring and faithful. These leaders helped people understand what was happening and what it meant for them as an individual and as a company as a whole.  They focused on being trustworthy and compassionate. They were authentic and helped others understand what to focus on during hard times. 

In each of these important discussions, students regularly came to one significant and important realization. The way leaders choose to act was powerful. Their role modeling taught them more than anything else during hard times. 

I always smiled when this realization surfaced during class. It was a big “aha” during the first session, because time and time again, students came to understand that theory became reality based on how we behave as a leader, not just what we think as a leader. 

That is why I regularly remind leaders during hard times that you are the curriculum. Your actions and your choices are noticed and discussed. Your questions and your responses are explored and reflected upon day in and day out. While a seminar can be very helpful to create common ground, the most important learning takes place when we, as leaders, choose to act with integrity and clarity. As Brene’ Brown reminds us, “Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.” Our choices have a profound impact. Thinking clearly about them and then choosing thoughtfully will help you and your entire team move forward together. Hard times happen. So can good choices. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Being Resilient During Hard Times

During a time period of high unpredictability, she shared with me about some of the major problems before her organization. In particular, she was deeply concerned about whether or not there would be adequate staffing levels to maintain daily operations, the continued turnover in certain departments, and an overall reduction in their employee engagement scores. At the same time, there were industry changes happening, including funding changes. And she could not influence any of these changes, or predict how they would impact the company. 

She paused in her sharing and said, “In the midst of all these hard times, there is a tremendous need for the services we offer. Furthermore, there is an opportunity to expand our services and to support more people. We are doing the right things for the right reasons. Still, I am struggling. We are struggling. 

I have two questions for you this morning, Geery. First, what do I do when the future is filled with tons of opportunity and I have no staff to execute on this potential? Second, what do I as a leader when it all feels hopeless? These are such hard times, and I do not know how to move forward through them.”

During the long pause that followed this important sharing, I was reminded of the chorus to the song, “Hard Times Come Again No More” by Mavis Staples. As Staples sang:

’Tis the song, the sigh of the weary

Hard time, hard times, come again no more

Many a days you have lingered all around my cabin door

Oh, hard times, come again no more.

What followed this sharing and numerous follow-up coaching sessions was an on-going discussion about how to be resilient during hard times, and how to find hope when we are struggling. For when we choose to be resilient, we can maintain perspective and discover new solutions even in the midst of short and the long challenges. 

Hope And Adversity Are Interrelated

“Hope is a function of struggle,” writes Brene’ Brown in her book, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience (Random House, 2021). “We develop hope not during the easy or comfortable times, but through adversity and discomfort.” 

I have known and interacted with many leaders over the course of my career. We have shared deeply, and explored a wide variety of problems, adaptive and technical, and even a few crisis situations. Upon reflection, I have not known a single leader who woke up on a Monday morning and hoped that the day would be filled with struggle, adversity, and discomfort. Most just wanted to get up and make progress on a few important things. They wanted to make a difference, strategically and operationally. They wanted to live a life that was purpose driven. They wanted to feel engaged. 

However, many of these same leaders have come to the realization that they did not create all the problems that are showing up at their “cabin door,” referencing the earlier song. They also know that they can not control or influence most of these problems, They even recognize that some of these problems may never be able to be fixed. They may not like this, but most are realistic about the limits of their position. And yet, even with this degree of clarity, there are periods when they as leaders can become overwhelmed and feel hopeless. 

Brene’ Brown explains that “hopelessness stems from not being able to set realistic goals (we don’t know what we want), and even if we can identify realistic goals, we can’t figure out how to achieve them. If we attempt to achieve the goals, we give up when we fail, we can’t tolerate disappointment, and we can’t reset. Last, we don’t believe in our selves or our ability to achieve what we want.”

One of the major problems related to this feeling is best summarized by Pastor Rob Bell. As he wrote, “Despair is a spiritual condition. It’s the belief that tomorrow will just be like today.” And this is the strangle hold that hopelessness places on us. It makes us think, and sometimes believe, that the situation today is permanent and will never end. In essence, we come to believe that tomorrow will be the same as today, a never ending cycle of frustration, hopelessness, and despair. 

Yet, I am reminded of the words of Maya Angelou when coaching some one during such hard times: “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” This choice, to not be reduced by our challenges, takes tremendous courage and discipline. It is not a “one and done” situation, but a daily practice to keep reframing what is happening before us as leaders. 

As an executive coach, I have found one line of exploration that has been very helpful during hard times. I discovered it in Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall’s book called Nine Lies About Work: A Freethinking Leader’s Guide to the Real World (Harvard Business Review Press, 2019.) As they write, “… go to the past… When you had a problem like this in the past, what did you do that worked? What do you already know you need to do? What do you already know works in this situation?” This line of questioning and the resulting reflection has generated many new insights and practical solutions. It helps us remember that we have seen hard times before, and that we have found a path through these times. And that is what the best leaders do. They move forward, because they understand that it is part of their job as a leader. 

These same leaders do one other thing. They always do their own work first. They make time to share. They make time to reflect. They make time to understand more about themselves and their choices. In essence, they make time to listen, learn, and lean in to the challenges before them.  And by doing this deep inner work over time, they restore a sense of perspective about how to proceed even in the midst of their feelings. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257