Years ago, I was invited to speak at an all employee gathering for a large company. When I entered the theater-like auditorium, all of the seats up front were full. So, I ended up sitting in the very last row.
It was dark back there when I sat down. My fellow back row seat mates warmly greeted me. As I looked around, I realized that I was sitting with all of the maintenance men, janitors, and cleaning ladies. I smiled because during a certain period in my life journey, I had been a maintenance man.
One of them looked up, shook my hand, and said, “Welcome to the cheap seats. This should be fun.”
I smiled and replied, “I hope today’s speaker is pretty good.”
The fellow winked at me and said, “Me too. Hey, here comes the CEO He is going to give his annual state of the company speech.”
The lights dimmed even more as the CEO approached the podium. He thanked every one for coming, and then launched into his speech. As he moved through his prepared remarks, the men and women around me began to give a quiet, colorful commentary about what he was saying. I had to chuckle, because some of it was quite insightful.
Then, the fellow who shook my hand, turned to the group, and said, “Wait for it. Wait for it. He is going to say it one more time. It’s coming.”
Around me, everyone one started whispering.
“No, he can’t say it one more time.”
“Oh yes, he will. He says it every year. Mark my words. He is on a five year run with it.”
Then, there was a long pause. The CEO leaned forward, and said, “This is the best thing since sliced bread has arrived this side of the Mississippi.”
“Bingo!”, shouted the man next to me. “Six years in a row. And it’s total BS. Every year we hear that this year is going to be transformational. And every year, it is the same old story. Work harder, work longer, and we are going to change the world. But the senior leaders never come and listen to us. We know the customers. We interact with everyone on every floor of the company. Most don’t see us, and most don’t treat us very well. We are just the cleaning and fixing stuff people. If they only knew how that felt. No one would talk about sliced bread and radical transformation. Respect is more than an annual speech.”
I just nodded my head and smiled. The man next to me then asked, “ Hey, what do you do at this company? Because no one usually sits with us.”
Before I could respond, the woman who had hired me came up on to the stage, walked to the podium, and started introducing me. When she was done, she said, “And where are you, Geery? I can’t see you from here.”
I stood up, and waved my hand. “I am here,” I replied.
And then before walking to the front, I turned and shook the hands in the back row, thanking them for welcoming me into their group. They all laughed.
As I turned to walk down the aisle, the man seated next to me, reached out his hand, patted me on the back, and said, “No sliced bread, OK?”
I nodded, and said, “Got it.”
He winked, and replied, “Knock it out of the park today. We need it.”
Once I arrived at the podium, I talked about my life journey, and my choice to leave the east coast where I grew up and move to the midwest. I shared about an Iowa farmer who taught me, “What you feed, grows.” I shared about living in a small town where we all looked out for each other, because we were all in it together. I shared about men and women who taught me about respect, dignity, and compassion. I shared about the choice of one teacher to see her students as whole people rather than broken individuals with significant disabilities I shared how her choice was transforming a life, their families, and their community.
When I was all done speaking and those gathered clapped, I looked to the back row. They were all standing up. Collectively, they gave me a thumbs up. I nodded in their direction, and mouthed, “Thank-you.” They smiled, waved, and went about their day.
As leaders, we forget that even on the busiest of days, people are always listening. But they are not just focused on our words, they are mostly focused on our meta-messages, the actions we take, or do not take, to support the oral messages we are speaking.
The best and most thoughtful leaders recognize that their non-verbals always speak louder than their verbal messages. These meta-messages are the primary source of communication. They reflect a person’s fundamental beliefs.
Furthermore, for these leaders, the idea of “walking the talk” is not a New York Times best-seller book, kind of concept. Instead, it is a conscious choice to treat everyone they meet with unconditional kindness, and respect. These leaders understand that a healthy organizational culture is the sum of interactions we have on a daily basis. And whether you are a senior vice president working on the development of a 3 - 5 year strategic plan, or a janitor cleaning the bathroom, these leaders know that each employee needs to know that their part is important and that it makes a difference. They need to know that their leaders see them and understand that they matter and that their job matters. For when our meta-messages are based on conducting ourself with this level of integrity, then we are making a difference and building resilience even if we are living in hard times.
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