Ten Ways To Be A Better Coach - Part #1

Introduction

This past summer, during multiple coaching sessions with different people from various industries, I was asked the same question over and over: “How do we help our people become better coaches?” Most people were looking for a simple solution that would result in better coaching, and create transformational results. While I wish a simple quick fix was possible, I do not believe there is a magic wand, a crystal ball, or a secret sauce that can generate the desired outcome. 

Instead, I have a more in-depth perspective that can help people become better coaches over time. The critical thing is that people have to do the work, and be persistent in the midst of the work. They also have to be willing and ready to commit to the work. And with time, lots of grace, and a healthy dose of humility, they can become a better coach. But, again, the first step is to learn and understand this in-depth perspective, and then to practice using it over and over in a variety of situations.  

Differentiate Between The Three Core Activities

In the beginning, we need to differentiate between supervision, coaching, and check-ins. Most people, who struggle in their coaching, believe that coaching is supervision and that checking in with someone is coaching. And this confusion is the root of so many problems.

First, supervision is the ability to observe, direct, and/or oversee the execution of a task, project, or activity in order to achieve a successful outcome. This level of work can include the organizing and/or prioritizing of work, supporting, participating or collaborating with others, and the delegation of work and the validation and appreciation of work well done. It also is critical that both the supervisor and the employee know and agree about what is a successful outcome. Often, this is the root of many supervision problems. 

Second, coaching, on the other hand, is a structured dialogue and development process to improve the professional competence of an individual in order that they can execute the aforementioned task, project, or activity in order to achieve a successful outcome. Coaching also helps an individual as they participate in team activities, and as they collaborate with others at the department or division level work. The critical element to coaching is that the dialogue and development process is organized in such a manner as to improve confidence, clarity, and competency to achieve the expectations that are placed on them as an employee. 

Third, I like Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall’s definition of a check-in as defined in their book, Nine Lies About Work: A Freethinking Leader’s Guide to the Real World (Harvard Business Review Press, 2019). As they write, a check-in is “a frequent, one to one conversation about near-term future work between a team leader and a team member.” This work is based on “two simple questions: What are your priorities this week? How can I help?” 

From my perspective, the success of these check-ins is based on a clear understanding of what an individual’s goals and priorities are at any given time period. When this is not present, it tells me that the person in a supervisory, management, or leadership position is not clear about the difference between supervision, coaching, and check-ins. And that they are not engaging with their direct reports in a productive and helpful manner. 

In short, we need all three of these core activities to be done well in order for an improvement in coaching to take place. While coaching is important, it is not the only element to successful leadership, and performance improvement. 

To be continued on Tuesday. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Planning During Difficult Times

The challenge during difficult times is to define the problems before us, and then to work the problems rather than to react to  them. The complexity happens when we realize that we may not be focused on the right problems or we may be experiencing a convergence of multiple problems, some of which are technical, and others are adaptive. And the result of this convergence is that everything can get confusing. 

So what should we do when this happens?

First, we need to step back from action mode and engage in thoughtful reflection and contemplation. As Einstein shared, “It’s not that I am so smart. It’s that I stay with a problem longer.” Staying with the problem longer means taking the time to better define the problem or problems, and then to think about them from a place of clarity instead of a place of reactivity. 

When I have worked with different leaders and teams in these kinds of situations, I always encouraged them to remember that no problem can be fixed or solved by the same consciousness that created it, a reference to Einstein’s work. Thus, in order to “stay with a problem longer”, we need to comprehend our current consciousness or mind set, and then to reflect on what kind of new consciousness or mind set needs to be in place. As part of this new line of thinking, I often talk with leaders about some thing called Shifting Baseline Syndrome. 

First, discovered two decades ago in the fisheries industry, and then wonderfully explained in David Attenborough’s book, A Life on Our Planet: My Witness Statement and A Vision for the Future, Shifting Baseline Syndrome points out that over time, knowledge is lost about the state of the natural world, because people don’t perceive changes that are actually taking place within it. This loss of knowledge, or as I like to say perspective, is perpetuated when each new generation perceives the environmental conditions in which they grew up as normal. It also describes how people’s standards for acceptable environmental conditions are steadily declining.

Translating this into the world of leadership and business, Shifting Baseline Syndrome explains how each new generation defines normal by what it experiences while not knowing what normal once was. It is perpetuated when each new generation perceives the work environment in which they grew up in as normal. It also describes how people’s standards for acceptable work conditions are steadily declining or changing over time. Note: this is an incremental lowering of standards or incremental redefining of standards. For example, think about the change in expectations over time about working from home vs working within the office. The outcome of this shifting results in each new generation lacking the knowledge of previous conditions within which people worked.

Therefore, in the beginning of planning during difficult times, I have urged numerous leaders this past summer to explain the strategic history of the company. They need to help people at multiple levels of the company to understand that past historical contexts, markets and environments strongly influenced past strategic choices. Furthermore, these choices created current operational relationships and networks, plus and current problem solving choices and current operational systems. Once we have historical clarity, then all involved need to understand the current context and current strategy, which again is influencing current relationships, networks, and systems. 

One way to create an effective planning environment is to engage in regular, intelligence gathering and analysis. The goal of this exercise is to create a shared mindset about planning and subsequent execution of the plan. Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall in their book, Nine Lies About Work: A Freethinking Leader’s Guide to the Real World (Harvard Business Review Press, 2019) write, “When we understand the characteristics of an intelligence system, as distinct from a planning system - accurate, real-time data, distributed broadly and quickly, and presented in detail so that team members can see and react to patterns in deciding for themselves what to do - we begin to see them everywhere. … the best intelligence wins.”

Now, there are three major intelligence systems that leaders can activate during difficult times. The first is a Warning Intelligence System, which seeks to answer the questions: What is coming at us? What will attack us? This is to prevent another Pearl Harbor, 911, global pandemic, etc. The focus here is on close and present danger. The second is an Emerging Trends Intelligence System, which seeks to answer the question: What trends 5-10 years from now will impact our business? The focus here is to create foresight of what could happen. The third is a Strategic Intelligence System, which seeks to answer the question: What are the factors that will could come together and create a situation that will impact our future? The focus here is to look for an accelerated convergence of which you may or may not understand, or even be prepared for at this time period. The goal is to determine of these three intelligence systems is to determine if the current plan we have needs to be changed, abandoned, or be executed faster. 

Buckingham and Goodall encourage us to “First, liberate as much information as you possibly can…. Second, watch carefully to see which data your people find useful…. Third, trust your people to make sense of the data.” I think these three points are useful as long as we have provided people with the tools and the knowledge to work with the information and the data. Otherwise, referencing a popular metaphor, we are giving bicycles to fish, and snorkels to squirrels. While these are great inventions, they are not compatible with each species’s capacity. 

Therefore, we, as leaders, need to spend more time understanding the difference between discernment and judgement. A while ago, I visited with my Kitchen Table Cabinet, my circle of advisors and mentors, about this subject, and the conversations were deep, rich, and helpful. One of my mentors defined discernment as the ability to sort the wheat from the chafe and the goats from the sheep. I just smiled when he shared this definition. Later, he pointed out that discernment is the ability to organize your thoughts after participating in a series of listening post experiences.

Another advisor told me that judgement is your conclusion after the conversation, and that it is binary in nature, i.e. right or wrong, bad or good, up or down, etc.  Discernment, on the other hand, is about exploring a range of questions and perspectives. It begins by asking the question, “What else could it be happening here?”. It also requires reflection. As he pointed out, the main problem is that they judge or decide something without having all of the facts.  As a result, they rush to conclusions or reach unwarranted conclusions. 

Now, the dictionary defines discernment as “the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure” and “the ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently.” The dictionary also defines judgement as “an opinion or decision that is based on careful thought,” and “the act or process of forming an opinion or making a decision after careful thought.”

I think the problem when planning during difficult times is that there is not enough discernment before decision making. In essence, there is not enough careful thought being put into place before we engage in planning. I believe this is happening because the world is addicted to going faster and faster, resulting in urgency without reflection. And as a result, we feel overwhelmed by everything. 

So, if this is the case, how do we proceed?

First, we need to focus on objectivity, which is the outcome of discernment before decision-making. This will involve a great deal of introspection, contemplation, and dialogue. We need to find structured unstructured time in our life in order to think out loud with people who we can trust to be confidential and clear minded. These individuals are willing to think holistically with us rather than reactively. These people also can look at things from a strategic perspective and an operational perspective while not loosing sight of mission or vision. 

Second, we need to focus on the building of trust. While the future may be unknowable, trust, at the personal and team levels, is critical to responding to multiple challenges. More likely the future will entail many adaptive problems. When there is a high level of trust amongst people and teams, there will be the capacity to ask difficult questions and create unique solutions. The key is to create trust before you need it in order to generate new and effective strategies. 

Third, while some will choose to lead from above and others from below, I believe that during difficult times, we mostly need to lead from within by walking with others through the challenges before us. This will be difficult for many leaders because they will have to no longer control the situation or problems before the company in order that they can create alignment within the company. 

Planning during difficult times is never going to be simple or easy. The complexity of our current environment is mind boggling on so many levels. There are endless scenarios and possibilities that could play out. Still, we can plan and we can prevail. 

This fall, we can focus on what we can influence more than on what we can control. We can build strong healthy relationships based on trust, integrity, and respect. We also can build clarity about the company’s strategic intent. In particular, we can focus on recruitment and retention so we have the right people to handle what is happening and what could happen. Next, we can build the company’s infrastructure so we have greater capacity to adapt to quickly changing market conditions. Finally, we can focus on the customer service experience, making sure our current customers in our current markets are receiving an integrated and optimal experience. In short, we need to manage for the short term and for the long term. And then, when the difficult times have passed, the company will be well positioned to thrive in the aftermath.  

© Geery Howe 2024

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Critical Challenges & Critical Choices

There was a moment during our recent phone conversation when he said, “It’s just crazy out there. Uncertainty, risk, doubt. Everything is totally unpredictable. Core systems and structures are in question. Every problem is an adaptive problem. There is no normal. Crazy and chaotic is the new normal. It’s a sideways cyclone in the midst of a Grand Canyon of chaos. And you know what? I haven’t a clue about how to lead my people though this.”

Then, there was a long pause. I just waited. After a bit, he continued, “What am I supposed to do? How am I suppose to plan for the future when I am not sure how, on one level, we are supposed to get through the coming month?”

As he continued to share his frustrations, I was reminded of something Jim Collins and Morten Hansen wrote in their book, Great By Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck - Why Some Thrive Despite Them All (HarperCollins, 2011). As they explained, “We cannot predict the future. But we can create it.” It is an important point. We can create the future or we can react to the future. All the research within this book is based on a single question: “Why do some companies thrive in uncertainty, even chaos, and others do not?” Their answer is a powerful one: “they create.... they prevail.... they thrive.”

First, now is the time for leaders to pull this book off the shelf and begin to reread it. They need to study and think about the implications of this research. At the same time, they need to get copies for their entire leadership team. Then, the group as a whole needs to discuss the content and insights within the book.

Second, within this book, we need to focus on how companies approach and manage risk. In particular, we need to understand the three categories of risk, namely Death Line Risk, which can kill or severely damage the enterprise, Asymmetric Risk, in which the downside dwarfs the upside, and finally Uncontrollable Risk, which cannot be controlled or managed. Common language around risk is going to be very important as we make critical choices moving forward. 

During our phone call that morning, I reminded him of a line in the book where the authors wrote, “Rapid change does not call for abandoning disciplined thought and disciplined action. Rather it calls for upping the intensity to zoom out for fast yet rigorous decision making and zoom in for fast yet superb execution.” I believe that disciplined thought and disciplined action in the face of uncertainty and risk are mission critical to short and long term success. 

After that phone call, I continued to reflect on all that was shared. In particular, I was reminded of something that Kevin Cashman explained in his book, The Pause Principle: Step Back to Lead Forward (Berrett-Koehler, 2012). As he wrote, “All too often, we allow ourselves to be carried away by our busy-ness. We are too hyperactive, too reactive to even notice the hidden value-creating dynamics waiting just under the surface within us and around us. Tethered to our smartphones, we are too caught up and distracted to take the time necessary to sort through complexity or to locate submerged purpose. In our urgent rush to get ‘there,’ we are going everywhere but being nowhere. Far too busy managing with transitive speed, we rarely step back to lead with transformative significance.”

The choice to pause and step back is a powerful choice. It is just as important as creating a plan and executing a plan. Cashman notes that “Managers assert drive and control to get things done; leaders pause to discover new ways of being and achieving.” The act of pausing is a disciplined choice to discover new insights and new perspective. And when things are chaotic and crazy, this is a very important choice. 

Now for some, the best way to describe this current environment is to use the term VUCA which stand for a a time period where events and things are volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous. VUCA was introduced by the Army War College and by Bob Johansen in his book, Get There Early (Berrett-Koehler, 2007). Johansen contends that we have “to flip the VUCA forces to terms that create possibilities and refine VUCA as: Vision; Understanding; Clarity; Agility.” I like this perspective and think it is a powerful choice in the midst of current events. 

One element of this flipping process, according to Cashman in the aforementioned book, is to routinely pause. As he writes, “The Pause Principle is the conscious, intentional process of stepping back, within ourselves and outside ourselves, to lead forward with greater authenticity, purpose, and contribution.”

Cashman notes that there are three kinds of pauses. They are as follows:

- The Backwards Pause: Stepping back when things are not working in order to analyze how to take a new path. 

- The Mission Pause: Stepping back when we have lost our way and need to restore a sense of purpose. 

- The Forward Pause: Stepping back to envision aspirational dreams for imagining a big or new possibility. 

Each of these moments of pause help a leader gain new insights and new perspectives. But what most leader miss is one element within the definition of The Pause Principle, namely “the conscious, intentional process of stepping back, within ourselves.” We often frame up the definition of a pause as a focus on “what is outside ourselves,” but not on what is within us. This is a normal response when life is busy, complex, and complicated. But it is not a productive path if we seek to gain new insights about how to move forward based on clarity and commitment. 

Furthermore, each of the three, aforementioned pauses can be an opportunity to do our own internal work before proceeding to lead others through the external work. It is the combination of the two, the internal and the external, that will generate the right decisions in the midst of critical challenges. 

Currently, we are experiencing a loss of faith in the future, a loss of meaning in our daily work, and the feeling of a loss of control over our choices and options. Thus, planning for the future is hard, and leading people through the current reality is challenging. Still, with adequate support from allies and confidants, plus the willingness to do our own inner work, we can make the critical choices in the midst of these difficulties. Paraphrasing Collins and Hansen, we can create; we can prevail; we can thrive. The first step is to pause and regain inner clarity and inner alignment before stepping forward to generate outer clarity and outer alignment. My challenge to you this week and this fall is a simple one: start with yourself and do the work. Then, over time, the rest will start to fall into place. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

The Practice of Leadership - Part #2

Leadership & Performance Improvement

Within the practice of leadership, helping others to improve their performance is a complex piece of work. Most leaders avoid the subject and to a degree, they avoid their problem people until there are so many issues and levels of toxicity that they just want to get rid of the person. However, most HR professionals will not let someone be fired on the spot unless they have broken the law, done some thing that is totally unethical, and only when there is an adequate paper trail in place, documenting problems over time in order to protect the company from legal action post the dismissal. Thus, the typical HR response to situations of this nature is to put someone on a performance improvement Plan or PIP in order to coach them up or to coach them out. 

In the effective practice of leadership, when we approach people who are struggling at work and we want to put them on a PIP, we often start with the perspective and the question, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why are you behaving this way?” I have witnessed this line of thought and action many times, and I have rarely, if ever, seen someone improve their performance as a result of these two questions. Most people, who are struggling, just get defensive and are not willing to change. 

I have also witnessed leaders who start in a different place and with two different questions, namely “What happened to you?” and “What happened to us?” For what we need to understand is that the difficulties we are seeing at work are often the result of a larger life story or life journey. And in this larger life story, the current problems we are seeing at work reflect their whole life, not just their work life. In simple terms, their personal story and the company’s  story are overlapping. 

And in the work of performance improvement, we have arrived at a critical moment in time. Our choice to respond with kindness and grace sits with us, not with them. We can choose compassion or judgement, kindness or criticism. But what ever we do, we should not damage them or wound them in the process of helping them improve their performance at work. The best leaders understand this and practice it each and every day. They get that this choice is mission critical to themselves and others, no matter the situation or setting. 

Leadership & Progress

Over many decades, I have facilitated and participated in numerous discussions about the subject of strategic planning and progress. Upon reflection, I am reminded of the words of economist Herbert Stein, who wrote: “If something cannot go on forever, it will stop.” From this perspective, often called Stein’s Law, the steady march of progress seems vital to the success of all strategic planning sessions, and all strategic plans 

At the same time, others involved in these discussions on planning and progress have reminded me of Packard’s Law that Jim Collins wrote about in his book, How The Mighty Fall and Why Some Companies Never Give In (HarperCollins, 2009). As Collins noted, “no company can consistently grow revenues faster than its ability to get enough of the right people to implement that growth with excellence.” Whether we define progress as a steady march forward, or consistent growth based on having the right people pursuing excellence, we have to acknowledge that progress and the practice of leadership are interconnected. 

Nevertheless, I believe we are missing something in the discussion of progress. First, continual progress is a myth. It is based on the idea that all the stars will be constantly aligned in the right direction and that all plans and systems will work perfectly. Furthermore, progress is based on the belief that every one who is creating it will work as one team and stay focused on doing the right things for the right reason. Any experienced leader will know that this is rarely the case. Nine times out of ten, each day is a mix of chaos, craziness, clarity, and commitment. And some days it is happening at once. 

Second, the myth of progress is focused on getting “there,” namely some better or more perfect place than where we are right now. The result of this choice is that we miss being “here” in the present moment. In simple terms, we miss the daily moment of truth where the mission statement becomes real for the employee and the customer. In particular, we miss the opportunity to make a difference for those we serve, to experience connections with the people we work with, and to be transformed, and to be transformative when both these things happen. 

Third, the moment we focus on getting “there,” i.e. getting to some point in the near or distant future, we frame up that point as being better, more complete, more perfect than “now.” Then, the moment of “now” is seen as not very good, mediocre, or in complete. This all translates into “there” as being good and “here” as being bad. And this is not helpful to leaders at all levels of the organization who are struggling with the normal and difficult challenges that happen each and every day. 

Fourth, instead of defaulting to this false choice and the mythology of progress, we need to embrace a definition of living and leading that values the miracle of “now” and celebrates the possibilities of “there.” Yet, in this new definition, there must be an understanding that we never really ever get “there,” because every time we get close to “there,” it becomes “now.” And today, this “now” is all we have. This moment in time that is happening today is the place where we can make critical choices and critical decisions that have the opportunity to transform this moment of “now” into a wide diversity of possibilities, all of which can make life richer and more meaningful. Thus, the practice of leadership must grasp this perspective and recognizes it’s importance in leading people through the normal highs and lows of daily operations. 

Leadership & Convergence

The practice of leadership is a daily act, repeated over and over again. We are not supposed to do it right the first time, and then to be done with it. Instead, we are supposed to do it better each and every day. The mastery of leadership comes in the repetition and the sheer ordinariness of practicing it again and again in so many different situations and moments. 

And yet, there is one more element that the best leaders understand. They comprehend leadership from a holistic perspective, and recognize that we must do more than just understand leadership from a cognitive perspective. Instead, these individuals choose to live leadership as the convergence of personal purpose, passion, and the principles that guide their life. The best leaders create space for, and build bridges to an inner life, from which they can see who they were in the past, who they are in the present, and who they are becoming in the near and distant future. For these individuals, leadership means making a difference each and every day in the lives of others, and realizing that others will inherit that the results of our fundamental choices and decisions. As James Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner wrote in their book, A Leader’s Legacy (Jossey-Bass, 2006.): leadership “ is a humbling experience…. When we choose to lead every day, we choose to serve. Leading is not about what we gain from others but what others gain from us.” And this is the perspective and the foundation upon which great leaders practice their leadership on a daily basis. 

© Geery Howe 2024

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

The Practice Of Leadership - Part #1

Introduction

So many people define the practice of leadership as a one and done activity. They do their leadership thing, be that clarifying a strategic direction, coaching an individual, collaborating with others, or delegating a series of goals and priorities, and then they think they are done. But in reality, leadership is meant to be repeated over and over again, all day and every day. Furthermore, many believe we are supposed to do it right the first time. In reality, we supposed to do it better each day, each month, and each year. The mastery of leadership comes in the repetition and the sheer ordinariness of practicing it again and again in so many different situations and moments. 

At the same time, for some people, the practice of leadership is the application of an idea, belief, or method. For others, it is the act of doing something regularly or repeatedly in order to improve how one does it. In reality, the practice of leadership is both. Still, the best leaders grasp one fundamental truth, namely that the practice of leadership is cognitive, emotional, and behavioral. It involves critical choices, continual improvement, and the creation of inner alignment. In short, it is that simple and that complex, all at the same time. 

Leadership & Feelings

When I share with young and old leaders, who are challenged by their current circumstances, that leadership is cognitive, they all nod and agree with me that the best leaders know how to think strategically and operationally. The best leaders also ask great questions. And I agree with them.

But when I tell young and old leaders, who are challenged by their current circumstances, that leadership is emotional, most look at me perplexed. Many have told me that feelings do not have a place in the world of leadership. For these people, logic reigns supreme, and feelings are best left at home. 

I respond by pointing out that the best leaders, who supervised them and coached them in the past, sought to understand their feelings, not just their thinking, and that they were capable of this because they knew their own feelings and thoughts. Emotional intelligence is just as important as cognitive intelligence in the world of leadership. Read all the research by Daniel Goleman and one will discover a whole new perspective. 

As we lead, we need to recognize that feelings and emotions come in clusters. The common question “How are you?” is a loaded question. For example, I can reply “good” and at the exact same time feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and stressed. I am still good on one level, but at a deeper level I may be struggling. Same goes for “sad.” I am capable of feeling sad, angry, and grieving, all at the same time. Therefore, leaders need to recognize this, and remember that life is way more complex and complicated for a single word answer from such a loaded question. 

So, beginning today, I believe we need to ask a more specific questions such as “How are you doing at work today?” Or ask an individual “How are you doing as a team leader this morning?” The more specific the question, the better the answer we will receive. And the better we will understand the emotions that may be impacting the challenging circumstances before us as a leader and before our team. 

Leadership & Choices

Recently, I was reading the work of the late cultural anthropologist, Angeles Arrien, Ph.D. when I came across the following passage: “… the Western mind often believes that the word “yes” means “I like you and agree with you,” and the word “no” means “I’m rejecting you or disagreeing with you.” Many people in the non-Western world, however, don’t overlay these words with emotional intent. They recognize that “yes” acknowledges a viewpoint or perspective and does not necessarily mean agreement; and that “no” simply honors a limit and a boundary and indicates the ability to respect what one is willing to do or not do at this point in time.” 

The minute I read this paragraph I realized that the aforementioned Western perspective of “yes” and “no” is happening right now at all levels within multiple organizations. Furthermore, in our current, highly polarized and balkanized society, more and more people only want to hear “yes,” all day and every day. They also consider a “no” to be more than a rejection of self. They consider a “no” to be a rejection of what they believe in, and with whom and where they choose to live. For these individuals, the word “no” unites them to fight against everything and anything.  

Still, leaders at all levels do need to make choices and decisions that include the words “yes” and “no”. Given current events, I am advising more and more leaders to share this paragraph and perspective with their teams, and to unpack Arrien’s insight so that we can lower the default response to the words “yes” or “no.” I also want us to lower the emotional intensity that is surfacing around these words and current choices leaders need to make. 

To be continued on Tuesday. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change