Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Herding Butterflies - part #2

The Loss Stage


Now, the outcome of these choices does not generate rainbows, enlightenment, and dancing unicorns. Instead, many people show a level of resistance and dissatisfaction to change. Again, this is normal and uncomfortable for people in leadership positions, but we must remember that people are people and this level of response is difficult but not uncommon. 


The first step in dealing with resistance is to reframe it as a form of feedback. People care about the work they are doing and are expressing it to those in leadership and management positions. In basic terms, resistance is a a psychological defense mechanism wherein a person rejects, denies, or otherwise opposes the efforts of another. Dissatisfaction, on the other hand, means people are unhappy. When the two happen at the same time and in the same place, we must remember the root of the problem is about loss of the familiar. Ron Heifetz, Alexander Grashow, and Marty Linsky in their book, The Practice of Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World (Harvard Business Press, 2009), encourage us to name these losses. For example, they can be “identity, competence, comfort, security, reputation, time, money, power, control, status, resources, independence, job,” etc.  By naming what is happening and the losses that come with change, we are helping people grieve the end of the familiar, and aiding them to arrive at a place of acceptance where a new beginning can place. 


In the past, when I have been on-site, and encountered this level of loss, it comes in a variety of forms. Some people will ask the question: "Why me?”. Some will talk about this level of change being unfair, and focus on how to preserve their sense of meaning, identity, and familiar ways of doing things based on the previous definition of success. I routinely saw people focus on the "proper way" of doing things in order to assure protection from being blamed if things didn’t work out. Finally, it was very common to see people in management and leadership positions engage in the proverbial Tarzan Swing from "we have no problems" to “all bloody hell has broken loose”, and “there is no way we can do this” to "it's nearly finished”. When these elements are happening, I know we are clearly in the stage of loss. 


A Dialogue Strategy


At this point in the trough of chaos, there are three specific forms of leadership that need to be deployed. First, leaders engage in coaching. Rodd Wagner and James K. Harter in their book, 12: The Elements of Great Managing Gallup Press, 2006, make an important point about this level of coaching. As they write, “A coach or mentor is anyone who, in the eyes of the employee, ensures she successfully navigates the course. The important aspect is not which of many terms this protector goes by - friend, coach, advisor, sponsor, counselor, support - but whether the employee feels she is not abandoned inside the business.” This is particularly important when dealing with the combination of resistance and dissatisfaction. When we reframe the combination of these two common responses as a form of feedback for people in leadership, management and supervisory positions, and when we realize that employees want to “successfully navigate the course” through the trough of chaos, then coaching is vital and necessary for success. 


Kevin Cashman in his book, Awakening the Leader Within: A Story of Transformation (John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 2003), reminds us that there are two forms of coaching. The first is transactive coaching which is focused on the transferring of competencies, skills and/or techniques from the coach to the person being coached. The second is transformational coaching which focuses on shifting a person’s view of the world around them. This reframing process can help them gain insights and new perspectives about what is happening and what is going to happen next. 


Whether we are engaged in transactive or transformational coaching, it is important for all involved to understand that coaching is a structured dialogue that  involves questions, analysis, action planning, and follow through. While we may not always be able as coaches to solve all problems, we can, nevertheless, emphasize the choices that need to be made. 


The second form of leadership during this stage of the trough of chaos is focused on selling the problem or problems. When I share this with leaders, they are often perplexed by this choice. They note that they have already done this earlier in the trough of chaos, and told people where, when, and how the coming changes will take place. I routinely smile, nod and I agree. But people are people and, at times, they forget. Status quo or the proverbial good-old-days call people to want to go backwards. They remember only the best of times from days gone by. 


However, John Kotter in his seminal article, “Leading Change: Why Transformational Efforts Fail” in the May-June 1995 issue of the Harvard Business Review, writes that the first most common problem for failure is “not establishing a great enough sense of urgency.” As he continues, “When is the urgency rate high enough? From what I have seen, the answer is when about 75% of a company’s management is honestly convinced that business-as-usual is totally unacceptable. Anything less can produce very serious problems later on in the process.” And while the article was written 30 years ago, it has been my experience that most leaders under communicate the urgency to move forward because they don’t sell the problems to the degree that all involved realize that business-as-usual is dangerous and unacceptable if the company wants to maintain viability moving forward. 


The third form of leadership is resolving problems and issues. Leaders need to make tough decisions and to solve complex problems. They need to focus on accountability and results. Yet, many leaders struggle with resolving problems and issues in part because they believe people may not like the decisions they need to make. So, they default to artificial harmony and wanting to be seen as nice and popular. However, this choice creates a false reality and can result in short and long term problems. 


I believe this happens because many leaders have not been coached properly on how to make decisions in an effective manner. When I find this the case, I have asked them to read and discuss with me the following article: “Making Judgment Calls: The Ultimate Act of Leadership” by Noel M. Tichy and Warren Bennis in the October 2007 issue of the Harvard Business Review. Every time I’ve done this, I have witnessed great improvement in this area. 


The Acceptance Zone


In the end, the combination of resistance and dissatisfaction ends with the rise of acceptance and a willingness to move forward. Now, not everyone is willing to accept this level of organizational change. Thus, some choose to leave their current employment. 


On the other hand, when trust is built and maintained, and when thoughtful and regular communication happens, many of the normal problems within the trough of chaos can be resolved. This is particularly true when we understand that everyone, both leaders and followers, are at different levels of experience with change, and different stages of their professional growth as leaders. 


Therefore, we have an important choice to make. As Brownie Wise, the pioneering American saleswoman who was a largely responsible for the success of the home products company Tupperware, noted: “If we build the people, they will build the business.” For when we build people and support their growth, we create the capacity to move through the normal challenges that come within the trough of chaos. And when we build relationships that can handle the complexities of change, we build a foundation for on-going innovation. 


Still, some days it will feel like we are herding butterflies in the midst of a tornado. And on those days, when we are feeling everything is overwhelming and chaotic, we can turn to our allies and confidants for support and perspective. As the Serenity Prayer reminds us, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” This is good advice whether or not we are moving through a trough of chaos or herding butterflies in the midst of a tornado. 


© Geery Howe 2025


Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

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