Embracing Vulnerability
Third, if we seek to sustain the organization through challenging times, leaders need to embrace vulnerability. First, we have to understand that few, if any, leaders actually choose to do this. They like the image and perception that they are the hero riding in on the white stallion and will save the day, rescuing those who are lost, and coming up with some brilliant observations, insights, and solutions along the way. Very few of them consider vulnerability as a sign of strength, let alone a viable leadership choice during challenging times.
I think this happens because most leaders have been sold a bill of goods based on the notion that ideas are more important than relationships. This form of leadership is based on relational bypassing, namely that a positional leader chooses to think and act as if healthy relationships are not as important as the creation of desired outcomes or results. They believe people are interchangeable parts in a system that delivers results. While this mythology is believed by many, it still does not make it right.
From my perspective, leaders need to embrace vulnerability. They also may need to deconstruct and reinvent their leadership style in order to be more successful during challenging times. While this can be hard and scary to do, the best leaders do not shy away from these scary and vulnerable moments. As Brene’ Brown in her book, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience (Random House, 2021), notes: “Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure…. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
Brene’ Brown also explore this subject in her book, Dare To Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (Random House, 2018). As she writes, “Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability…. The definition of vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” She continues, “To feel is to be vulnerable. Believing that vulnerability is weakness is believing that feeling is weakness.” She point out that if we dare to lead and embrace vulnerability as part of the process, then we need to take off our armor and expose our hearts.
The interesting thing for me after decades of doing this work is that I have been present when leaders have done this. I have seen them be vulnerable, and the courage it takes to do this is impressive. I remember a non-profit Executive Director who admitted to his team that a two year project on team building had failed because the organization had not trained their team leaders appropriately and placed unrealistic expectations on them at the exact same time. I remember a CEO of a large company who privately shared that he had no idea how to move forward when a series of adaptive problems surfaced. He admitted that he was afraid and needed help. I remember a non-profit Executive Director who shared that they did not know how to do strategic planning and worried that this might result in them loosing their job. Each time and in each situation, they shared how they felt and how they were struggling. And each time as they worked through this sharing, they felt better and more clear about how to proceed. They also received significant and helpful support as they embraced their vulnerability.
To be concluded on Thursday.
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