Dialogue About What Is Leadership
Next, we must sit down and explore with young leaders and managers what is their definition and image of being a leader. Rather than just telling them some new things about leadership with the hopes that they become a leader, we need to create time and space for thoughtful dialogue about what is leadership.
First, most young leaders and managers do not fully understand that a lot of leadership means managing irregularities, disorder, and imperfection. Problems are every where and come in many different forms. And at the exact same time that they are dealing with all these problems, they are expected to create an environment of mission driven effectiveness. There is an inherent tension between these two realities that most young leaders do not grasp.
As a result, many young leaders and managers approach their work like a mechanic whose goal is to fix everything that is broken, including people and systems. They ask themselves “What’s wrong?”, and “How can I fix it?”. The challenge here is that “fixing people” does not work. They resist it every time and on all levels.
What young leaders need to recognize is that we fix systems and we grow people. The former requires careful analysis and understanding, i.e. the work of a mechanic, and the later requires us to create a work environment and work culture where people drive their own change. The later is the work of a gardener who asks themselves the question, “What is getting in the way of this person becoming their best self?”, and “How can I support them as they do this?”. For when young leaders and managers understand that they need to be both mechanics and gardeners, they recognize that leadership is working on systems, i.e. parts, and working with people, i.e. the whole. It is the combination of the two that generates successful outcomes over time.
Second, we need to explain to young leaders and managers that disciplined attention is the currency of leadership. Where you put your attention and with whom you pay attention to has impact and can set precedent. Being mindful of this takes time and energy. Many do not understand that decision fatigue is a real problem for most, if not all, leaders.
Third, when people seek to be better leaders, it comes with three dangerous choices, namely power over others, the feeling of prestige, and the illusion of control. When it comes to power over others, it is common amongst long term senior leaders to talk about respecting “the power of the chair.” There is an understanding that they are the steward of the position and the organization. They understand that their words, their actions, or their choices to not act, have a huge impact. As Kevin Cashman noted many years ago, “Leader get what they exhibit and what they tolerate.” Many grasp this insight and realize its importance. Then, they act accordingly, and avoid seeking power over others. Instead, they seek to work with people in a respectful and thoughtful manner.
Next, when it comes to the feeling of prestige, and the illusion of control, many young leaders and managers frame up leadership as a reward rather than a responsibility. Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities (Wiley, 2020), dives deeply into this concept. As he explains, “At the most fundamental level, there are only two motives that drive people to become a leader. First, they want to serve others, to do whatever is necessary to bring about something good for the people they serve…. The second basic reason why people choose to be a leader - the all-too-common but invalid one - is that why want to be rewarded. They see leadership as the prize of years of hard work and are drawn by its trappings: attention, status, power, money.” In short, the feeling of power over others, the feeling of prestige, and the illusion of control are all unhealthy choices when it comes to the world of leadership.
Fourth, during this time of dialogue and sharing about what is leadership, it is important to not get caught in the dualistic trap of having to choose between talking and thinking vs. executing a plan. Both are needed and both are valuable as one improves their ability to lead others.
Furthermore, those of us who are helping young leaders and managers to become better leaders and managers need to talk more about the inner dimensions of leadership more than just the external structures and formalities. We must help them to comprehend that leadership involves actions, and practice. And they need to recognize that effective leaders have a quiet conviction and understanding, which is focused on fulfilling the purpose or mission of the organization. These same leaders are grounded in the reality that being a leader is hard work, internally and externally.
Fifth, young leaders and managers need to understand that there is an inherent tension between the ideals of leadership and the realities of leadership. There also is a tension between a task-oriented sense of time, and the pressure of work place production. The clock can push us all. Things do need to get done. But what we most often forget is that the push to get things done should not be at the cost of quality, purpose, and engagement. We also forget that mastery at work takes time and attention. It is the same for leadership. Over time, knowledge applied and the experience of doing this can also make a difference.
In summary, when young leaders and managers have gained the capacity to hold and live with these inherent tensions, then they can aspire to becoming a very good leader. For at the end of the day, it is the choices we make and the actions we take on a daily basis that determine whether we actually become the leader we aspire to be.
To be continued on Thursday.
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