Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Welcome The Stranger

Many years ago, I was walking through the pedestrian mall in downtown Iowa City, Iowa when my sixth sense registered that I was being followed. It had been a busy fall of travel, teaching, consulting, and coaching. I had been in big cities and small towns. I had spoken at conferences, corporate meetings, and even a few high schools. On this particular day, I had finished meeting with a client and their team, and was heading off to run a quick errand before going to the parking ramp to get my car. 


Realizing that I was being followed, I stopped in front of a big glass window and looked at the reflection of the person who was following me. They were dressed in black clothes, spiked hair, baggy pants and a heavy looking coat. I was very uncomfortable if not afraid. I thought I was about to be mugged. 


So, I took about 10 fast steps and then whirled around to confront the person who was following me. “Now, what are we doing here?”, I said in a loud and very assertive tone of voice.


The young man was slightly startled by my actions and replied, “It’s you. I thought it was you, but I wasn’t sure.”


“Yes, it’s me,” I stated.


“You’re Geery Howe.”


“Yes, I am.”, I replied with a softer tone. 


“Wow,” he said. “I heard you speak at my high school a while back. I just wanted to thank-you in person for what you said. I liked it. Very cool.”


“Thanks.”


“Have a good day, Geery,” he said as he started to walk away. “And keep up the good work.”


“Thanks. I will,” I replied. 


I just stood there for a couple of moments and let what just happened sink in. Here was someone who showed me elegant kindness and appreciation in the midst of my rushed and busy day. Here was someone who choose to reach out and make a connection. Here was someone whose actions humbled me and encouraged me to keep moving forward. Here was someone who cared enough to say thank-you. And as a result, my life was better because they had done this small act of generosity. 


When we seek to build a shared and adaptive mindset across an organization, I believe we need to create time and space, i.e. structured unstructured time, to share our stories and our experiences. Instead of focusing on our polarizing arguments and our reasons for why the other person is wrong, we need to welcome each other into this shared space. Then, we need to learn from each other and hear each other’s stories. And as a result over time, we will discover where we have common ground and where we can build bridges and met in the middle. But the first step in the journey is to welcome the stranger and to be present to what they say. As I learned one fall day on the pedestrian mall in Iowa City, Iowa, what they have to share can be humbling, transformative, and life changing. 


FYI: To be continued on Thursday. 


Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

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