Many years ago, my father had open heart surgery in his early 90s. The procedure was successful, but the surgery took longer than expected. My older brother was there for the first part of his recovery, and my wife and I were there for the transition from the hospital back to the assisted living/nursing home where he was living.
On the day we arrived at the hospital, he was still in the cardiac intensive care unit, recovering from his long surgery. He was asleep when we walked in the room. I sat down in the chair beside the bed, and just looked at him. Always well dressed and often wearing his signature bow tie, he was in a hospital gown with a blanket over him. His always neatly combed hair was very messy. So, I tucked the blanket under his chin and realized that all I wanted to do was comb his hair. However, given I am I bald now, I don’t carry a comb anymore. It was then that I again realized that life is fragile and resilient, all at the same moment.
Later that week, he was discharged back to his apartment in the assisted living/nursing home where he lived. During the first couple of days, he would need to be in the skilled care unit before returning to his apartment. Once he was loaded into the ambulance to return home, we went on ahead in our car to meet him there.
When we pulled up to the assisted living/nursing home, minutes before the ambulance arrived, I noticed an older man sitting in a wheel chair by the front door. As the ambulance drivers unloaded my dad, all wrapped in a warm blanket and sitting in a wheel chair, the other man called out, “Where have you been? I have been waiting here for over an hour. You missed lunch and at this rate, you might miss dinner. Hurry up!”
I was shocked by this man’s comments, and the continuous teasing and commentary that followed us into the nursing home, and down to the room that my dad was going to stay in for a couple of days. Once settled in his bed, and after this person left the room, my dad began to laugh. He then said, “That’s my best friend, Bill. Every day we visit, and often he is late for the meal. I am always getting on his case to hurry up. He is a kind and thoughtful man. He’s just giving me what I often gave him.”
Minutes later, Bill returned with an entire group of people who lived on my father’s hall. Everyone in his assisted living unit showed up to offer support, and encouragement. I just sat in the chair beside the bed, and realized that we are way more connected to each other than we realize, and that dear friends make a big difference in life’s journey. I also realized that small acts of loving kindness have a dramatic impact and can make a major difference as people move through difficult times.
Our challenge in life is to build and maintain these shared connections. They make life meaningful and special. We also need to regularly seek out, discover and hold on to wholeness. For when we find this wholeness in our current fragmented world, we can respond rather than react to all that is happening around and within us. Then, we can choose small acts of loving kindness and recognize that life is fragile and resilient, all at the same moment.
© Geery Howe 2025
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