Right now, we are experiencing an uncomfortable convergence of two different things at the same time. First, we are in love with the familiar, i.e. a past definition of status quo with a touch of nostalgia for the “good old days,” even if things were not working so well, and not so good. Second, we feel as if we are living in a nihilistic world and a nihilistic time period, i.e. more and more people, especially young people, believe that life has become meaningless, and change is hopeless. As a result, life and work has largely become an endless series of chaotic experiences with no inherent purpose or progress to be seen, heard, or experienced. Thus, people yearn for the past, or any resemblance of a familiar status quo, i.e. think pre-COVID times, and their desire for the familiar now out weighs the effort or thought to make things better.
I think this uncomfortable convergence is challenging, because if we are to truly deal with the current levels of dysfunctionality and nihilism, then we will have to change ourselves as part of the process in order to transform what we are currently experiencing. And I don’t think a lot of of people are waking up on a Monday morning, and hoping that their entire life will change. Some are waking up on a Monday morning, and wanting to change one or two things about their life. But most people are actually waking up and hoping everyone else will change. Then, they can stay living within the familiar and continue having a sense of control about all they are experiencing.
However, this is not the way change actually happens. This is not the way to deal with an uncomfortable convergence. This is not the way to adapt and evolve.
Years ago, Steven Covey in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (Free Press, 1989), wrote about the circle of concern and the circle of influence. The circle of concern included everything that concerned you, even if you had little or no control over it. The circle of influence encompassed all the things you could directly influence or impact, even if you did not have complete control. Covey advocated for the reader to shift their focus from their circle of concern to their circle of influence in order to take steps that would make a positive difference in their life and in the lives of others.
I think right now many people are focused on their circle of power and control more than their circle of influence. Others are building a circle of isolation in order to feel safe in the midst of such chaotic and meaningless times. They believe that distance from everything is a necessity in order to feel safe. However, the more they distance themselves and isolate themselves, the more they fear the world around them. The outcome of this choice is to be both afraid and lonely.
Nevertheless, in the midst of this uncomfortable convergence, I believe there are two pathways we need to pursue in order to move forward. First, we need to rediscover hope. As Brene’ Brown reminds us in her book, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience (Random House, 2021): “We need hope like we need air. To live without hope is to risk suffocating on hopelessness and despair, risk being crushed by the belief that there is no way out of what is holding us back, no way to get to what we desperately need.” I believe the pathway to rediscovering hope begins by creating time and space for face to face sharing of our own past and current stories of resilience. We need to remember that we have been through tough times before this convergence, and that we can make it through these current challenging times, too. We also need to listen to the stories of others who have overcome their challenges in order to remember that we are not alone in facing our difficulties. It is in the combination of sharing our individual and collective stories that will generate perspective, insights, and ultimately hope to move forward.
Second, we must ask ourselves this important question: Am I the person I aspire to be? This is a question that requires significant time and space for in-depth reflection and contemplation. And once we have done this work, we must commit to a path of becoming the person we aspire to be in spite of the uncomfortable convergence before us. We also need to recognize that this self-definition will evolve over time as we move through different ages and stages of our life. Still, we must always seek to be our best self no matter what is happening around and within us. Then, by clarifying and purifying our intentions and motivations, we will unite our inner and outer experiences. And this will build a solid foundation for creating and living into a new beginning.
These are difficult and challenging times. Problems of various forms and sizes are surfacing daily, weekly, and monthly. And as a result, some days we may feel hopelessness and despair. Still, with strong connections with ourself and others, plus a strong internal clarity about who we are and what we believe, we can, and we will move forward, step by step to a new and better future. It begins by doing the inner work and building the outer network to sustain us along the path through today and into tomorrow.
For Further Study:
- Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brene’ Brown (Random House, 2021).
- “How Will You Measure Your Life?” by Clayton M. Christensen, Harvard Business Review, July-August 2010.
- Surviving Storms: Finding Strength To Meet Adversity by Mark Nepo (St. Martin’s Essentials, 2022).
- Take It All Apart: How to Live, Lead, and Work with Intention by Lindsay Leahy (River Grove Books, 2024).
© Geery Howe 2025
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