Keystone Concepts

In the natural world, there are indigenous plants that play a critical role in the environment and the local food web. These plants are often called keystone plants. They support native microbes, insects, birds and other animals with significant resources like food and habitat. These keystone plants also support the structure, integrity, and function of the ecosystem within which they live. They even help to regulate nutrient cycling, soil health, and water availability. 

A classic example of a keystone plant is the North American oak tree. Here, we have a tree that supports 952 species of caterpillars plus numerous birds and mammals. All of them rely on oak trees as a food source, and a place to call home. These trees are found throughout the United States and make a major difference in environmental health on multiple levels. 

Within the world of leadership, I believe there are keystone concepts that also play a vital role in the health of an organization. The understanding of these concepts and the application of these concepts also supports the structure, integrity, and function of the workplace “ecosystem.” After much reflection, I would like to focus on four of these concepts.

The first concept is found in a quote by Kevin Cashman: “Our ability to grow as a leader is based on our ability to grow as a person.” This translates into a phrase I have used often during the course of my career, namely if you want to become a better leader, first you have to become a better person. As Cashman notes, “we lead from who we are - the leader and the person are one…. [therefore] as the person grows, the leader grows.” 

What we have to remember is that leadership development is not just a work thing. In reality, it is a whole life process that begins at the integrity and character level and builds from there. And helping people become better people is big work that takes time, patience, and attention. One seminar, workshop, or class is a beginning, but all that learning needs to be integrated over time if we want someone to become a better leader. 

When the focus is on our ability to grow, we must start with self-examination. We need to understand how we think and how we work in order that we can then choose better ways of doing things. For this will result in us becoming a better person. By connecting with our core beliefs and intentions, we can then choose, if needed, to rebuild the foundation of our life. 

This is why I believe coaching and mentoring are so important. Experienced coaches can offer an in-depth pathway that compliments training and development, and this can result in better leadership. In particular, they help an individual connect to the aforementioned foundation, and support them in the process of re-evaluation and integration. While connecting at this level takes time, the return on this investment is significant. 

The second concept is also found in another quote by Kevin Cashman: “Leaders get what they exhibit and what they tolerate.” Most leaders focus on ideas, rather than ideas and people. They don’t grasp that it is the people who make the ideas become real. And it is the people who have to take the risks to turn chaotic moments and feelings into clarity and outcomes.

The challenge for many is to grasp that leadership is more than an idea. In reality, it is a set of core behaviors that need to be role modeled consistently over time. And at the exact same moment, leaders need to be clear about what they will and will not tolerate, i.e. the critical behaviors that can build up or tear down an organization. 

For example, we can not exhibit or tolerate silo behaviors or hunkering down responses to change. We also can not exhibit or tolerate “only thinking of me” behaviors. In both of these examples, the outcome of these choices will cause teamwork and collaboration to deteriorate over time. And if a leader tolerates these choices, then people will continue to behave in this manner. 

Therefore, the power and importance of conscious role modeling and conscious tolerance must be reinforced over and over as we help people become better leaders. For what experienced and effective leaders recognize is that knowing something does not equal doing something. And if we seek to do something very well, we need to keep practicing it, not to be perfect at it, but instead to continually get better at it. 

The third concept is based on my own observations of working with leaders and groups for nearly 40 years: Great leaders do not create followers. They create partners and colleagues. The older I get and the longer I engage with others, the more I realize the power and importance of healthy relationships. When I have watched exceptionally good leaders lead, it is abundantly clear that their relationships with others are built on trust, not perfection. It is also clear that they view others as partners and colleagues, not as followers who need to be told what to do.

I think this subtle distinction is important because great leaders understand that change is challenging. Author, speaker and consultant, Margaret Wheatley reminds us that “When confronted with the unknown, we default to the known.” This can result in defaulting to a particular set of behaviors before, during, and after change. However, great leaders keep the above second keystone concept in mind, and they build healthy relationships before they need them. They recognize that these relationships will make a profound difference as all involved move through the process of change. 

There is one more element to this keystone concept that needs to be examined. As I have reminded leaders for years, the faster you go, the more you need to slow down. In particular, the harder things get, the more you need to stop and reflect. It is always this depth of inner connecting before outer connecting that makes the challenging times a touch easier. I call this the power of the pause. 

Ryan Holiday in his book, Stillness Is The Key (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019), understands this perspective when he wrote: “The space between your ears - that’s yours. You don’t just have to control what gets in, you also have to control what goes on in there.” When great leaders create partners and colleagues, they create the capacity for collective sharing about the inner process, i.e. “what goes on in there.” This level of sharing creates a greater level of engagement and clarity, and, at the exact same time, it strengthens the relationships of all involved. It bonds them and unites them in a way that transcends the challenges of changes. And with these unique and special connections, they can confront the unknown and not be overwhelmed by it, because they are clear on the inside at the individual level and clear on the outside at the collective level, too. 

The fourth concept is one of my favorite phrases, namely What you feed, grows. I learned this from living and working in a rural Iowa farm community. While many people focus on the word grow, and like the implications of growth, I believe the critical word is feed. For it is in the act of feeding people that growth becomes the outcome. But the challenge is where to begin this important leadership action. 

While the simple answer would be to engage in a singular act that results in growth, I think the wiser course of action is to feed people on three different levels. The first level is to feed their strengths. Long before the Gallup Organization focused on strengths-based leadership, I met with the late Joe Batten in Des Moines, Iowa, who told me that after 40 years of management consulting, he had learned one thing, namely “to build on strengths.” He explained to me that this takes time and focus, because you really have to get to know the person and how they work. But once you have done this, people flourish and can do great work. 

The second level begins by understanding Packard’s Law: “No company can consistently grow revenues faster than its ability to get enough of the right people to implement that growth with excellence.” I have quoted this law often in my work and believe it is an important one. Again the word grow and the word growth are found within this law. And again many people focus on these elements, because they want revenues to grow. 

However, at this second level, I focus on the word excellence. Tom Peters defined excellence as a workplace philosophy where problem solving, teamwork and leadership result in on-going improvements or continuous improvements in the organization. This in part needs to happen because the expectations and needs of the customers are constantly changing and evolving. 

For me, the focus on excellence revolves around the understanding that great leaders are continually trying to help people improve. This includes themselves as part of the process. When self-improvement and organizational improvement are part of the mindset and culture within the organization, then it attracts and retains the “right people.” So great leaders feed and support this mindset in individuals, and they feed and support this within the culture of the company. The result of this choice is short and long term growth which is the desired outcome. 

The third level revolves around the following quote by the late William Bridges: “The picture in people’s head is the reality they live in.” In simple terms, Bridges is pointing out that the picture inside people’s head matters. How they work and what they focus on is significantly impacted by the picture they carry inside themselves about what success looks like and feels like over time. 

With this in mind, I have witnessed great leaders spend many hours sharing and exploring what that picture looks like for all involved. The goal of this in-depth dialogue is to create clarity about why the company exists (think mission), how the company works (think core values), and where the company is going (think a combination of vision and strategy). When the trinity of these three elements come together into a picture, then people can successfully create the desired outcomes we seek at both the operational and strategic levels of the company. Therefore, the fourth keystone concept, namely What you feed, grows, is mission critical to the work of leaders. 

Once we unpack, understand, and recognize the importance of these four keystone concepts, there is one final thing we need to do. As author, theologian, and civil rights leader, Howard Thurman explains, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” When we combine the aforementioned four keystone concepts with finding our passion, i.e. what makes us come alive, we create a personal and professional journey that is significant, meaningful, and life giving. It then becomes a pathway that unites purpose, passion, and perspective. It creates life giving and life changing experiences. It supports the structure, integrity, and function of our life, and the lives all those with whom we interact with on a regular basis. And from this place, our life makes a positive difference in the world, which is the goal of living. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Being A Good Ancestor

Over the course of my career, I have been a consultant, a trainer/teacher, and an executive coach. Although I am retired, I still coach and mentor a small group of people with whom I have visited with for a very long time. I feel lucky and blessed when we are together in person or over the phone. When reflecting on all the years I have been doing this work, I think we need to explore the following two terms, namely coaching and mentoring. 

When I was actively teaching seminars, workshops, and year long leadership courses, I would tell my students that the dictionary definition of a coach was some one who instructs or trains the fundamentals. Derived from an old French word meaning a vehicle to transport people from one place to another, I like how Rodd Wagner, and James K. Harter in their book, 12: The Elements of Great Managing (Gallup Press, 2006) defined a coach or mentor, namely “anyone who, in the eyes of the employee, ensures she successfully navigates the course…. The important aspect is not which of many terms this protector goes by - friend, coach, advisor, sponsor, counselor, support - but whether the employee feels she is not abandoned inside the business.” I believe this is an important foundation when thinking about coaching and mentoring. 

For me, coaching is a structured dialogue about purpose, strategy, relationships, and often technical or adaptive problems. Coaching involves questions, analysis, action planning, and follow through. It happens with you, not to you. Furthermore, as coaches, we may not always be able to solve the problems shared with us. Instead we have to emphasize the choices all involved can make. 

Kevin Cashman in his book, Awakening the Leader Within: A Story of Transformation (John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 2003), points out that there are two kinds of coaching. First, there is transactive coaching, which is the transferring of competencies, skills and/or techniques from one person to another. The second is transformational coaching, which focuses on shifting people's view about themselves, their values and their sense of purpose. In essence, this later form of coaching helps people rethink their view of the world around them. On one level, both forms of coaching all boil down to skills and knowledge, and to a degree willingness and commitment. 

Mentoring, on the other hand, focuses more on the wholeness of life. It is a collaborative learning relationship that can offer support, advice, and perspective. It involves a more long-term, relationship based approach aimed at providing guidance, and wisdom based on the mentor’s experience and expertise. It takes time and a lot of sharing. However, the rewards are profound for both people. 

Recently, I was thinking about mentoring when I read that currently there are many elderly people in society right now, and very few elders. This really stopped me in my tracks, because I realized how few elders I knew and were a part of my life. The term elder is given to an individual by others. It is not something you claim for yourself. Instead, an elder earns the respect of their community through wisdom, harmony, and actions in their teachings. And in response, the community calls an individual an elder. 

For me and where I am in my life right now, I need to focus on being a good ancestor. This phrase, being a good ancestor , has shown up in multiple conversations during the last 30 days. It has made me pause in a very positive and healthy way. It has made me think deeply and broadly. It has inspired me to make more choices in a manner that reflects big picture thinking and long term thinking. 

First, being a good ancestor means that I make decisions that prioritize the well-being and quality of life for future generations. It calls me to value traditional wisdom, story telling, and continued learning. For I believe this is the pathway to becoming wise as I continue to age. It happens in the space between my being and my becoming. 

Nevertheless, when I consciously choose to be a good ancestor, I need to focus on four specific actions. First, I need to be present and kind to all I meet. In particular, I need to show grace and gratitude where ever I go, recognizing that every one has a story, a challenge, and a gift to offer this world. Second, I need to be comfortable with silence. Whether this is in communication with others or in being outside in the natural world, I must remember that listening is more important than talking, and that much is communicated in being quietly present to others. Third, I need to be a role model of integrity with my family, friends, and my community. My actions always speak louder than my words, and my integrity always precedes me in all I do. Finally, I need to be a sanctuary for others. In a world filled with fear, violence, and uncertainty, sanctuary spaces and sanctuary people are important and needed. If I can be this person and create this kind of space, then I am passing on the gift and legacy that others have shown me when I was stretched, overwhelmed, and troubled.  By paying it forward, I am honoring what they did for me. 

For now, I will continue to coach, and I will continue to mentor. I also will choose to be a good ancestor. I hope my actions will create a better world for those who follow me in the years to come. I do this because I believe we are here on this earth to make a positive difference and this is one way I can contribute. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Work Life Balance

It was an early morning, breakfast meeting. We were the first ones in the door and the coffee was still percolating. As we took our seats, the waiter brought over the first pot and poured each of us a cup. He smiled and said, “It’s the best way to start a new day.” We nodded in agreement. 

The purpose of our meeting was to discuss what to do about baby boomers who were exiting the working force, and the company’s need to recruit young, professionals who could become the next generation of leaders. During the exploration of this important topic, she said to me, “We are focused on offering work life balance as a key part of our recruitment process. We know that it is what people want and it is what we think we can offer.”

I smiled and nodded in agreement. This was a good choice when it comes to recruitment, and for that matter retention, too. Still, I wondered how many people within the organization currently understood the term work life balance. I also wondered how many people were experiencing it. I even wondered how many people in leadership positions were achieving it in their own life. 

The idea of work life balance surfaced during the later half of the 20th century. It was not something people thought much about at the beginning of that century. However, as the century progressed, it became more prevalent and more desired. 

In simple terms, work life balance is the ability to achieve a state of healthy balance between work and home. An individual can experience this when they feel fulfilled in both areas of their life and when they can prioritize their overall well being. In particular, this balance results in minimal stress at work and at home. Another outcome is not having to worry about work when you are at home with your family. So, the overall goal, if one wants to experience work life balance, is to have the capacity or ability to manage your own life during the work day and to maintain a harmonious relationship between your work life and your personal life. In short, there is an equilibrium between the two.

However, while we strive for this ideal, reality rarely matches the ideal, because life and work are constantly changing and evolving. Therefore, the goal of creating and maintaining work life balance is, to a degree, more a myth than a reality. Since both are in constant flux and many elements in both are not within our circle of influence, the assumption of total balance is unrealistic. Given it is an unattainable ideal, the constant pursuit of it can cause unnecessary stress, and shame when it is not achieved. 

Therefore, we need to reframe the idea of work life balance and understand that it exists, but it is not a destination. Instead, it is a mindset based on conscious choices. The idea that you can split your time and energy equally between your work life and your personal life in order to experience a constant state of equilibrium between the two is something to strive for, but rarely attainable or realistic. Still, I support this idea as a recruitment and retention strategy if we understand the mindset of work life balance and the subsequent choices that need to be made. 

First, I rarely use the term work life balance. While I like it, I don’t think it is the right term. I prefer to focus on work life clarity before I would reference work life balance. When we are clear about our priorities and goals at work and at home, and when we have agency to support achieving them, then this level of clarity can guide our large and small decisions to make it a reality. However, we need to understand that certain jobs and certain work situations do not offer or support flexible working arrangements in order for people to experience work life balance.

Second, people in leadership positions need to understand, support, and role model this on a daily basis. As one of my former students said, “Our leaders say-do ratio speaks loudly on this subject. They get to have a work life balance, because they can delegate everything to us, and then just walk away. It’s a nice idea that doesn’t actually work for the rest of us.”

Third, leaders must recognize that a large part of work life clarity, and the subsequent balance, is not experienced or achieved due to communication issues more than just effort issues. As we all know, communication and decision-making are two major components of being a successful leader. And, at the exact same time, many leaders fail or struggle deeply with these same two issues. Most of this happens because they under-communicate and assume a high level of understanding when understanding is not present. 

Plus, when these same leaders are overwhelmed, they default to command, control, and delegation as their three major leadership solutions. For these leaders, the desired outcome is a reduction in decision fatigue and stress. They just want things to be done correctly. But, for those who work with them, these choices create difficult work conditions and regular burnout. 

Nevertheless, work life clarity and balance is not a hopeless ideal. It can be achieved when we make three important choices. First, we need to create personal clarity and then focus on applying it. This is where we begin. We need clarity at work and we need clarity at home. And all of this begins with clarity about ourselves. We need to understand how we think about our work life and our home life. We need to understand our core beliefs, values, and intention. A great place to begin this level of work is to read the following book written by executive coach, author, and founder of The Restoration Project, Lindsay Leahy, and called Take It All Apart: How To Live, Lead, and Work With Intention (River Grove Books, 2024). Once you have read the book and done the detailed work within it, then it is time to focus on translating a work life balance mindset into a work life balance experience. 

Second, we need to show ourselves a combination of patience and persistence. We need patience with the process of creating this mindset, because we know life is challenging and changing, all at the same moment. We also need a healthy dose of persistence to keep moving forward and to create this level of balance in spite of the difficulties in creating it and/or maintaining it. One element to maintaining patience and persistence over time is to find and to work regularly with an executive coach or mentor who can offer perspective and insights to the challenges before us. They can be an ally and a confidant in the midst of the whole process. 

Finally, we need to stop defaulting to command, control, and delegation as the best solution to all of life’s challenges. Instead, we need to step back from our reactive defaults and offer ourself and others some grace and compassion. Some days we also need to do a better job of listening and clarifying the desired outcomes. Other days, we need to clarify our expectations and offer strong support and encouragement. Finally, we need to remember that all of us are aways trying to do our best even on days when our best is not so great. 

As the late Stephen Covey shared so many years ago, “There’s no balance in life without balance in our inner life - without the synergy created when living, loving, learning, and leaving a legacy coalesce.” When we choose to do the on-going inner work of living, loving, learning and leaving a legacy, we have the potential to create work life balance, but not as a one time experience. Instead, we can experience it as the outcome of a mindset based on conscious choices about how to work, how to raise a family, and how to live. Then, the resulting synergy is empowering and uplifting, all at the same time. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Attunement

In the September 1997 issue of Executive Excellence magazine, the late Warren Bennis, a distinguished Professor of Business Administration at the University of Southern California, wrote an article called “Leaders of Leaders.” In it, he states: “Leaders today must develop their social architecture so that it generates intellectual capital and encourages incredibly bright people, most of whom have big egos, to work together successfully and to deploy their own creativity. Most employees today are not just well-educated but also highly individualistic. Individualism that makes the work environment exciting, but also very challenging. The challenge is how to release the brainpower of people in organizations that are confusing, chaotic places to work. Executives must try to generate intellectual capital and foster creative collaboration.” 

It is now twenty-seven years later and his words still ring true. The challenges before us are many. They also are confusing and chaotic. And in the midst of it all, we must encourage people to work together successfully and foster creative collaboration. The difficulty is to know where to begin. 

Bennis answers this question, and explains, “In this period of ‘creative destruction,’ leaders will have to reinvent themselves, redesign their leadership roles, and reinvent their organizations. Rather than just downsize, leaders must deploy the creativity of the workforce to recreate the company.” 

I love his term “creative destruction.” I think it captures what will be the emerging strategy for many companies over the next 3-5 years. For if we seek to be successful in the midst of a VUCA environment, then we must take many things apart, including ourselves and our way of leading others, in order to generate creative and effective business strategies and a new business model in order to meet the rapidly changing expectations and needs of current and future customers. And the outcome and convergence of these many levels of work will be to recreate the company. 

However, in the beginning, leaders of leaders will need to work on themselves and their way of leading while also working with and on their team. Now, a great deal has been written about leaders needing to reinvent themselves. I also know there are many good resources about how to work with and on a team. For example, Patrick Lencioni writes that leaders need to “build and maintain a cohesive leadership team.” I believe this is a solid beginning, but it is not the sum of the work that needs to be done over the next 3-5 years. 

When I have observed leadership teams who have worked through a time period of “creative destruction,” I have noted something unique, namely that these leaders have figured out how to be there for their team. Now, on the surface this seems like a trivial statement. Of course, leaders are there for their team. They are a leader. 

But the subtle difference is significant. Successful leaders, who are or have reinvented themselves and their leadership role, know one thing. They need to switch off their problem solving mode of leadership, and to connect with the team and the team members. They understand that being there for the team is actually being present to and with the team. They remember that all relationships are complex, i.e. dynamic and ever-changing, which by the way is a good thing. Given this understanding, they know they need to address their own issues, and to help others do this as well. And, of course, they do that publicly and privately in appropriate ways. In essence, by choosing to be present with the team, they are able to attune to the team. 

Now, the dictionary definition of attunement is “the ability to be aware of and responsive to another person’s emotions and needs.” And within this short definition are some keys to exceptional leadership. First, one needs to learn how to be aware of another person’s emotions and needs. Again, this seems elementary. It is basic leadership 101 level stuff. But after decades of doing this work, I have met very few leaders who are good at this. And the ones who are can do this because they are able to tune into their own emotions and needs, not at a surface level, but at a depth where they have the language to do it well (think Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart). These same leaders understand that emotional intelligence is as important or even more important that just intellectual intelligence. 

When diving deeply into the concept of attunement, the dictionary notes that there are at least two main levels. The first is emotional attunement, which is “the process of recognizing and responding to the emotions of another person in a way that validates and supports their experience.” And the second is mental attunement, which is “the ability to tune in to oneself [and] to understand and respond to one’s emotional states, needs and perspective.” It is the combination of the two, which is at the heart and soul of someone being able to reinvent themselves at the personal and the professional levels. For when we can be completely present in the moment to ourself and to others, and when we can completely listen to ourself and to others, we engage and are present so that productive, and creative destruction can take place. In short, when we choose to show up with presence and inner clarity, we role model caring for people from a healthy interdependence rather than an unhealthy codependence.

As part of developing the social architecture that Bennis described in the aforementioned article, he writes: “Leaders create not just a vision, but a vision with meaning - one with significance, one which puts the players at the center of things rather than at the periphery. If companies have a vision that is meaningful to people, nothing will stop them from being successful. Not just any old vision will do; it must be a shared vision with meaning and significances.”

On the surface, this seems logical and important. Ten years later, Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Truth About Employee Engagement: A Fable About Addressing the Three Root Causes of Job Misery, formerly called The Three Signs of a Miserable Job: A Fable for Managers (and their employees) (Jossey-Bass 2007), writes “Everyone needs to know that their job matters, to someone.” And he continues, “if a manager has any responsibility in the world, it’s to help people understand why their work matters.” Once employees understand that they matter and that the work they are doing matters, and if this work has line of sight to a “shared vision with meaning and significance,” then the capacity to generate creative collaboration is accelerated. 

However, for this level of clarity and social architecture to be effective, Bennis points out that something else has to take place. As he explains, “Leaders have a bias toward action. Not just reflection, but action. A combination of both of them, of course, is what we all want. And then you need to get feedback on how you are doing. You have to cultivate sources of reflective backtalk by getting people around you whose counsel you treasure - people who are capable of telling the truth, people you can depend on, people who have the future in their bones. You need these people. You can’t do it alone. You need people who can take the vision and run with it.”

This trinity of reflection, action, and feedback are the way to be attuned and to stay attuned during times of creative destruction. For when we do this on a regular basis, and when we create a “shared vision with meaning and significance,” we then generate intellectual capital and foster creative collaboration, all of which is needed at this time period. Although the article was written twenty-seven years ago, it still offers valuable and an important insights for those people who are leaders of leaders. 

Our challenge is to take his insights to heart and to do the inner work along with the outer work. Then, we can flip the current VUCA environment into a time period of vision, understanding, clarity and agility. And with this action, we will generate new possibilities for betters connections, creativity, and collaboration, all of which will help people work more effectively in the midst of these unique times. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change