Many years ago, I had a student in one of my classes who always responded to my greeting in a unique way. When I would see him first thing in the morning, I would say to him, “Hi Bill. It is nice to see you today.” And he would always respond, “It is nice to be seen.” This response often stopped me. I wasn’t sure how to proceed. He wasn’t being arrogant or annoying. He was generally glad to be seen at the start of class.
Over the course of our time together, he slowly shared about the hard and complex challenges in his personal life. From my perspective, he was swimming in the deep end of the pool. Thus, being seen was important and meaningful to him. It was a sign of caring.
Over the course of many years, our paths would routinely cross and he would always respond with “It is nice to be seen.” Then, one day he said to me, “It is nice to see you today, Geery.” And I responded, “It is nice to be seen.”
We paused at this moment, and smiled. Tears came to my eyes because I finally got it at a deeper level. It is good to be seen. It is good to be acknowledged. It is good to know that my presence matters. It is good to to know someone cares.
I haven’t seen Bill in a very long time. That happens in life’s long journey. But this does not bother me, because I know Bill cares even when we are not in the presence of each other. I know that no matter what happens or where life takes us, his kindness has not changed. His thoughtfulness has not disappeared. Between the two of us, there is a depth of mutual caring.
All of this came to mind recently when I read something that Mark Nepo wrote in The Book Of Awakening: “It is essential to realize and embrace the paradox that while no one can go through your journey for you, you are not alone. Everyone is on the same journey. Everyone shares the same pains, the same confusions, the same fears which if put out between us, loses their edges and so cuts less.”
He continues this line of thought with the following story. “A very touching story from the Talmud captures this soft paradox of how we all journey alone together. A Rabbi asks his students, “How do you know the first moment dawn has arrived?”
After a great silence, one pipes up, “When you can tell the difference between a sheep and a dog.” The Rabbi shakes his head no.
Another offers, “When you can tell the difference between a fig tree and an olive tree.”
Again, the Rabbi shakes his head no. There are no other answers.
The Rabbi circles their silence and walks between them, “You know the first moment of dawn has arrived when you look into the eyes of another human being and see yourself.”
As Nepo explains, we are all travelers, and we are all alone on one level. Yet, we are all alone together. We all share the potential of making a positive difference in the world.
Nepo also shares that when African Bushman greet each other as someone is coming out of the bush, one person says “I See You!” And the other person responds “I Am Here!”
On this Monday morning, I say to all of you “I See You!” You are whole and beautiful in the midst of your journey. And in that reflection, I see myself as whole and beautiful, too.
On this Monday morning, I also know your response “I am Here!”
Or as my old friend, Bill, would say, “It is good to be seen.”
We are all alone together, connected and caring.
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