The other day when walking down to the Post Office to get the day’s mail, every car and truck that passed me, waved as they went by. I just smiled, because this is a normal, every day experience in our small rural community.
Many years ago, a friend from California came to visit us. As we walked uptown together, she paused and asked my wife and I a question, “Does everyone wave to everybody in this small town?”
We looked at her and responded together, “Yes.”
“Why?”, she asked.
“It’s just what we do around here. It is one small way to show our connection and kindness to our friends and neighbors,” I explained. “We wave because we care. We wave because it is a polite way of showing that we are all in this together.”
She looked puzzled for a moment and said, “Interesting. And if I wave to these people, will they wave back?”
“Give it whirl and see,” I said.
For the next five minutes, she waved to everyone. People walking. People driving. People standing outside the post office visiting. And sure enough, everyone waved back to here.
“I like this,” she said. “It’s a nice thing.”
I smiled and said, “It’s part of small town life.”
Whether we are walking our dog at dawn, walking to the post office to get the mail, or driving to the local library to return a book, we all wave to each other. I don’t know everyone who I pass by, or who passes us by, but everyone gets a wave no matter the hour. I know it is small thing. I also know it makes a difference.
Christopher Willard, PsyD, in his book, How We Grow Through What We Go Through: Self-Compassion Practices for Post-Traumatic Growth (Sounds True, 2022), writes, “The social contagion effect, observed by Emory University’s James Fowler and Yale’s Nicholas Christakis, shows that acts of kindness and generosity spread from one person to the next. In numerous studies, they demonstrated that merely observing acts of generosity inspires a ripple effect of ‘downstream reciprocity’ in others up to three degrees of separation from you. Researchers have also observed many of the same neurotransmitters in both givers and receivers of kindness, although there’s a greater amount in the givers. In one study, researchers asked subjects to spend five dollars either on themselves or someone else. To the surprise of the researchers and the subjects, those who gave away the five dollars felt better than those who spent the money on themselves. Neuroscientist Richard J. Davidson has said, ‘The best way to activate positive-emotion circuits in the brain is through generosity’.”
In our small, rural community, waving to people as they pass by is one way we show our generosity and kindness. It signals we are all in this together. And we know the ripple effect of this kindness goes deep into the community and far out in the rural landscape that surrounds our small town.
This week, be kind and wave. You will activate many positive emotional circuits in your life and in their life. You will be making a difference all day long when you do this.
© Geery Howe 2024
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