Coaching people has been a hot topic doing the last 45 days. More and more senior leaders are realizing that they are not very good at it and that their direct reports aren’t either. This insight comes from the realization that behavioral problems almost always precede quantitative results, which is something that Patrick Lencioni noted in his book, The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business (Jossey-Bass, 2012). As he explained, behavioral problems “occur long before any decrease in measurable results is apparent.” With new understanding, I have been asked a lot of questions recently about coaching during my visits with senior leaders.
First, I help senior leaders understand the following insight as written about by Peter Cappelli and Anna Travis in their article called “HR Goes Agile” in the March-April 2018 Harvard Business Review. As they explain, “The idea is that once one experiences good coaching, one becomes a better coach.” And what many senior executive come to understand is that very few of them have actually experienced “good coaching.” Furthermore, the same goes for their direct reports who are coaching key people through the organization.
From my perspective, good coaching rarely starts with the mindset of “tell me your problems and I will fix them for you.” Instead, good coaches start with a framework of “tell me about your challenges and how you are thinking you might deal with them.” The focus is on building a shared mindset and clarity. As I have learned over 35 years of doing this work, questions are the language of coaching and stories are the language of leadership.
Second, it is important to remind people who are coaching to stop trying to coach people who shouldn’t be coached. I gleaned this perspective from my own experiences as a coach and from the work of Marshall Goldsmith in his excellent book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful (Hyperion, 2007). As he explained, “stop trying to change people who don’t think they have a problem” and “stop trying to change people who are pursuing the wrong strategy for the organization.” As he continues, “stop trying to change people who should not be in their job” and “stop trying to help people who think everyone else is the problem.” These are hard lessons to learn and yet they are important ones. Sometimes, we need to coach people out of the organization more than just coaching them up to the challenge before them.
Third, when it comes to coaching people I am reminded of something that Patrick Lencioni wrote about in his book, The Ideal Team Player: How to Recognize And Cultivate The Three Essential Virtues (Jossey-Bass, 2016). As he pointed out, “I think the problem is that we’ve failed to define what being a team player requires.… real teamwork requires tangible, specific behaviors: vulnerability-based trust, healthy conflict, active commitment, peer-to-peer accountability, and a focus on results.”
This is not something we talk about or think about and yet it is a very important part of the work of a coach. We need to coach people to get better in their jobs and to be better team players. As Lencioni continues, “… ideal team players: they are humble, hungry, and smart…. Leaders who can identify, hire, and cultivate employees who are humble, hungry, and smart will have a serious advantage over those who can not.” And given current events, leaders need to identify, hire and coach people in these areas.
Finally, we need to coach people in the area of character development. Last year, I read a quote by Pastor A.R. Bernard that stopped me in my tracks: “Without character, talent will only take you so far.” Upon reflection, I realized that we need to talk more about character and focus more on character development rather than just talent development.
Character is defined in the dictionary as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” With this in mind, we need to talk more about integrity, compassion and courage. We need to explore the moral qualities of - commitment, faithfulness, and truthfulness. As Lincoln noted a long time ago,“Reputation is the shadow. Character is the tree.” It is time to focus on character development.
This month, I encourage you to reflect on the following questions:
- Who are the people of “character” that you know in your life?
- What separates them from others?
- How do they engage with people in group settings that is unique?
- How do they role model their moral qualities?
Improving your capacity to coach people is a powerful choice. Becoming a better person at the character level is part of the journey.
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