According to Virgina Satir, the influential American author and psychotherapist who is recognized for her pioneering work in family reconstruction therapy, wrote that highly functional people tend to do the following:
- see and hear what they see and hear, rather than what they are supposed to see and hear.
- think what they think, rather than what they are supposed to think.
- feel what they feel, rather than what they are supposed to feel.
- want what they want, rather than what they are supposed to want.
- imagine what they imagine, rather than what they are supposed to imagine.
As I ponder her insights, I am reminded of something Kevin Cashman shared in his book, Leadership From The Inside Out: Becoming a Leader for Life (Berrett-Koehler, 2008). As he wrote, “Five leadership skills are required to navigate complex challenges: collaboration rather heroics, building and mending relationships, participative management, change management and adaptability, risk taking.” He continues by pointing out that “all significant change begins with self-change…. Our ability to grow as a leader is based on our ability to grow as a person.”
This is a major insight on so many levels because, as Virgina Satir pointed out earlier, it means we have to be more conscious about what we see, hear, think, feel and want. We need to recognize our choices because the road ahead will be filled with many opportunities to navigate complex challenges.
This week, I encourage you to reflect on one more statement by Kevin Cashman: “We lead from who we are - the leader and the person are one…. as the person grows, the leader grows.” I hope you will choose a pathway this summer that yields tremendous personal and professional growth.
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