How do leaders communicate effectively during this transition? - part #2

As leaders, we must recognize that successful communication begins with improved listening, not improved talking. Today, I am reminded of two quotes:

- “We may be in contact, but we’re not connecting.” - Margaret Wheatley

- “The penalty for failing to listen is to lose one's history, one's historical context, one's binding values.” - Max De Pree

As leaders, we want our communications to be clear and well received. Thus, we need to remember the old Covey adage: “Seek first to understand, second to be understood.” As current events unfold, we need to “seek first to understand”. It is important to let people know they are being heard and that their voice matters. The information we collect during this process is vitally important when it comes to operational and strategic decision making.

Let’s go deeper into how the best leaders listen. 

First, they seek to understand what is being said but even more they seek to understand the context within which it is being said. Why would this person choose to share this now? What don’t I know that is influencing this person I am listening to?

Second, these same leaders make sure that when we use the same words that we both hold the same definition or meaning of the word. Numerous times, I have witnessed where a singular word such as system, stabilization or collaboration has meant different things to different people.

Third, the best listeners seek to understand whether or not we view the history of events from the same angle with the same interpretation. In short, understanding context, history and holding the same definition of certain words makes a major different when it comes to seeking first to understand, second to be understood.

Next, if we want to become better communicators, we must be more empathic. As Brene’ Brown reminds us, “… empathy is connecting to the feeling under the experience, not the experience itself.” As she continues, there are four empathy skills, namely to see the world as others see it, to be nonjudgemental, to understand another person’s feelings, and to communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings. As she notes, “Emotional literacy, in my opinion, is as critical as having language. When we can’t name and articulate what’s happening to us emotionally, we cannot move through it.”

This week, make better listening your primary focus. It will help you on so many levels including communication.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257