Monday, December 14, 2020

Asking For Help Is A Sign Of Strength

It is amazing how many leaders believe that they need to have all the answers and to always know what is the correct question to ask in every situation. There is an assumption that leadership begins and ends with an ability to be all things to all people no matter what is the situation. 


When one starts with this expectation, things always go down hill over time. No one has the capacity to solve everything and to figure out everything. There are days when problems surface that challenge even the best leaders and causes them to wonder what to do next. The phrase “being between a rock and hard place” is real and difficult. Still, some people in leadership positions charge ahead through these situations, damaging people, systems and culture with no regard to the impact or precedence that they are creating.


When I have been called in to coach a young executive through a problem of this nature, I have pointed out three things to all involved. First, to the supervising senior executive, I ask them the question, “Why did you let it get this bad before doing something about this problem? Why weren’t you coaching this individual on a regular and in-depth basis, preventing these problems from causing major damage to the company?” While this line of questioning is uncomfortable for the supervisor, I need them to understand that there is a difference between supervising people, coaching people, and checking in on people.


In simple terms, the goal of supervision is to observe, direct or oversee in the execution of a task, project or activity. Coaching, on the other hand, is a structured dialogue and development process to improve the professional competence to execute. Finally, as Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall in their book, Nine Lies About Work: A Freethinking Leader’s Guide to the Real World (Harvard Business Review Press, 2019), write a check-in is “a frequent, one to one conversation about near-term future work between a team leader and a team member.” Here, the supervisor asks “two simple questions: What are your priorities this week? How can I help?” From my experience, successfully doing the above three actions on a regular basis often solves the problem of a young executive, believing they are the only source of all clarity and all action.


Second, I sit down with the struggling young executive and point out that the impact of their actions does not just create problems for them, but it also creates problems for all people in leadership positions over time. And this can damage the culture and, again over time, the strategic execution of the company.


For both the supervisor and for the person who is struggling, I remind them of one final important point, namely that asking for help and getting perspective when dealing with a problem is a sign of strength. Our challenge as people in leadership positions is to learn to recognize when we need to ask for help, and then to have the courage to actually ask for help. This may feel very uncomfortable to people in leadership positions, but I assure them that if they have hired smart and talented people within their organization, these individuals will welcome the opportunity to give advice, counsel and perspective. Being vulnerable and open to new ideas is not easy for many leaders but it is important to learn. Finally, leaders need to be open to receiving help. 


All of the above is possible to do but it requires those individuals involved to feel respected, safe and supported. This kind of work environment can be built over time if those involved remember that the precursor to asking for help is to create a healthy work culture where there is minimal politics, confusion and a very low turnover among good employees. 


This week, seek out regular coaching so you can learn how to ask for help and then receive it. When we are allies for each other, we can rise to the challenges before us and transform them into solutions that help the customers we serve, the company we work at, and the communities within which we live. And this is a powerful and important action to take.


Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

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