Think In 200 Year Blocks Of Time

During my early years of teaching workshops on the subject of stress management, I would often ask those gathered the following questions.

“Who remembers their grandparents?”

Nine times out of ten, everyone raised their hands in the air.

“Who remembers or knows anything about their parents?”

At this point, only a few hands would go up in the air.

This line of questioning led us into a discussion on maintaining perspective and understanding about how stress management techniques and perspectives were passed down from generation to generation.

When I reflect on this line of thinking decades later, I want to add another line of questions.

“Who here is a grandparent? How well do you know your grandchildren?”

I think the challenge is that most of us think about life in three to five year blocks of time. Some of us may even think about ten year blocks of time. This is our sense of the big picture.

But for me, I am thinking we need to embrace a larger perspective about life and history. For example, my father’s mother, who I knew as a child, was born in the late 1800’s. My father was born in the early 1920’s. I was born in the late 1950’s. Our children were born in the 1980’s. And our first grandchild was born this year. 

When I view the big picture on all these relationships, they easily will cover the span of two hundred years. My father’s mother influenced my father and myself. My wife and I influenced our children. And they will in turn influence their children. Thus, the passing down of perspective and understanding is an on-going process. 

As we come to the end of 2020 and look forward to a new year, let’s us pause and realize that we need to start thinking about life in two hundred years blocks of time. For we are being influenced by our history and we are creating history at this moment in time. We also are influencing the next generation as they will live their own lives and create their own history.  

In 2021, I hope we can pass on the best of what we have learned to date and inspire those who will move forward after we have passed away. Now is the time to instill hope, confidence, inner strength and clarity so that from this year forward people strive to be their best selves and to create a better world for all.

I look forward to seeing you and visiting with you in person in the new year!

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

The Clock & The Compass

“Our struggle to put first things first can be characterized by the contrast between two powerful tools: the clock and the compass”, writes the late Stephen Covey. “The clock represents our commitments, appointments, activities - what we do with, and how we manage our time. The compass represents our vision, values, principles, direction - what we feel is important and how we lead our lives.”

It is so easy during these busy days to focus on the clock and to be consumed by al our To Do lists. Gifts to be wrapped and cards to be mailed. The holidays can just be another series of things to get done and people to see via Zoom or FaceTime. It just goes on and on.

I understand the power and importance of the clock. I was taught that on-time was late and early was on-time. Therefore, I honor my commitments and work hard to be respectful of my appointments. I consciously manage my time, making sure I have ample time for deep work and deep rejuvenation. 

Still, there are times when I get worn and overwhelmed. And this is when I turn to the compass, i.e. vision, values, principles and direction. Busy can not be the sole definition of success. I am not willing to sacrifice that which is most important to things that matter least. 

On my desk, I have my late father’s compass. I see it every day when I sit down to work. It reminds me what is most important. It always points true north. No matter if my days are busy, stressful or challenging, true north does not change. In short, my father’s compass calls me to be a true north person, always true to vision, principles and direction. 

During this holiday season, I encourage you to respect your commitments and to be clear about what is most important. With the struggle of busy days all around us, let us use wisely the clock and the compass. We can and we must lead our lives if we hope to create a better world. 

May this holiday season for you and your family be filled with many blessings, great joy, and good health. From my family to yours, we send you our best and look forward to when we can be together again in the new year.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Winter’s Coming Home

For me, the first sign of winter is the return of the cedar wax wings to the flowering crab apple tree on the south side of our house. They always show up this time of the year in large and small flocks to eat the little crab apple fruit. They flit and dance from branch to branch gobbling up the fruit.

When the sun is just right, I catch a glimpse of the little yellow spots on their wing tips which people think of as the “wax”. The two times I have seen them in the last week, it has been more grey and misty rather than sunny and clear  so I have missed seeing their wing tips. Still, it is a signal that winter is coming.

The second sign is when I start humming to myself the song “Winter’s Coming Home” which is sung by the monks of Weston Priory in Weston, Vermont. The opening verse goes like so:

Summer’s gone

Leaves are falling down and round

My window,

Crystal clear and certain,

That winter’s coming home.

Ah, yes again,

The mellow sun is cooler, days are short

And nights are longer by the fire

Of brothers’ love;

The evening speaks of hearts together now

That harvest’s done

And gone to rest, for winter’s coming home.

Before all the traditional Christmas songs and hymns burst forth into our home and hearts, this is the song that shows up in my consciousness and reminds me that there is a reason for this season, and I need to take time to remember it in the midst of my busy days.

The third sign of winter’s return is seeing the land covered with a thick frost just before the sun breaks the eastern horizon. The grass looks like it has been dusted with a light grey color in the early morning light. I know it will sparkle and quickly melt once the sun breaks through the morning clouds. Still, it is a reminder that this is the time to look for the miracles that take place each day.

Finally, the fourth sign is what is happening in the many perennial flower beds around our home. The brown leaves from the maple trees and the oak tree out front have settled in and around the perennial flowers. When I pause to enjoy their beauty, I realize that there are so many different colors of brown. Some places like the stalks of the sedum Autumn Joy display a reddish brown while the Siberian iris show a lighter color. The hostas have melted, for the lack of a better termed, and what remains is a more yellowish brown. So much to notice if one pauses and enjoys the stillness of the early morning.

And in and amongst all these leaves, plants are sleeping for lack of a better term. They are putting down roots until the ground is frozen solid. Then, they hibernate until the first signs of spring return to the prairie. And when spring returns with great joy, the land wakes up and remembers the sounds, the colors and shapes of summer. It is this fourth sign that reminds me of the importance of rest and rejuvenation.

Winter’s coming. I hope you keep your eyes open and witness the daily miracles it brings. I also hope it fills your heart with joy. Now is the time for rest, gratitude and renewed hope that better days are coming.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Asking For Help Is A Sign Of Strength

It is amazing how many leaders believe that they need to have all the answers and to always know what is the correct question to ask in every situation. There is an assumption that leadership begins and ends with an ability to be all things to all people no matter what is the situation. 

When one starts with this expectation, things always go down hill over time. No one has the capacity to solve everything and to figure out everything. There are days when problems surface that challenge even the best leaders and causes them to wonder what to do next. The phrase “being between a rock and hard place” is real and difficult. Still, some people in leadership positions charge ahead through these situations, damaging people, systems and culture with no regard to the impact or precedence that they are creating.

When I have been called in to coach a young executive through a problem of this nature, I have pointed out three things to all involved. First, to the supervising senior executive, I ask them the question, “Why did you let it get this bad before doing something about this problem? Why weren’t you coaching this individual on a regular and in-depth basis, preventing these problems from causing major damage to the company?” While this line of questioning is uncomfortable for the supervisor, I need them to understand that there is a difference between supervising people, coaching people, and checking in on people.

In simple terms, the goal of supervision is to observe, direct or oversee in the execution of a task, project or activity. Coaching, on the other hand, is a structured dialogue and development process to improve the professional competence to execute. Finally, as Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall in their book, Nine Lies About Work: A Freethinking Leader’s Guide to the Real World (Harvard Business Review Press, 2019), write a check-in is “a frequent, one to one conversation about near-term future work between a team leader and a team member.” Here, the supervisor asks “two simple questions: What are your priorities this week? How can I help?” From my experience, successfully doing the above three actions on a regular basis often solves the problem of a young executive, believing they are the only source of all clarity and all action.

Second, I sit down with the struggling young executive and point out that the impact of their actions does not just create problems for them, but it also creates problems for all people in leadership positions over time. And this can damage the culture and, again over time, the strategic execution of the company.

For both the supervisor and for the person who is struggling, I remind them of one final important point, namely that asking for help and getting perspective when dealing with a problem is a sign of strength. Our challenge as people in leadership positions is to learn to recognize when we need to ask for help, and then to have the courage to actually ask for help. This may feel very uncomfortable to people in leadership positions, but I assure them that if they have hired smart and talented people within their organization, these individuals will welcome the opportunity to give advice, counsel and perspective. Being vulnerable and open to new ideas is not easy for many leaders but it is important to learn. Finally, leaders need to be open to receiving help. 

All of the above is possible to do but it requires those individuals involved to feel respected, safe and supported. This kind of work environment can be built over time if those involved remember that the precursor to asking for help is to create a healthy work culture where there is minimal politics, confusion and a very low turnover among good employees. 

This week, seek out regular coaching so you can learn how to ask for help and then receive it. When we are allies for each other, we can rise to the challenges before us and transform them into solutions that help the customers we serve, the company we work at, and the communities within which we live. And this is a powerful and important action to take.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Honoring Our Quiet Heroes

The other night, I finished reading Barack Obama’s new book called A Promised Land (Crown, 2020). It was very in-depth and fascinating in many parts. I was particularly moved by the section about the loss of his grandmother who he called Toot. As he wrote:

“She was one of those quiet heroes that we have all across America…. They’re not famous. Their names aren’t in the newspapers. But each and every day they work hard. They look after their families. They sacrifice for their children and their grandchildren. They aren’t seeking the limelight - all they try to do is just do the right thing…. there are a lot of quiet heroes like that - mothers and fathers, grandparents, who have worked hard and sacrificed all their lives. And the satisfaction that they get is seeing that their children and maybe their grandchildren or their great-grandchildren live a better life than they did.”

These comments really spoke to me given all we have experienced this year. I believe that there are so many “quiet heroes” out there right now in society who are showing up, paying attention and making things happen in big and small ways that are not never fully noticed or appreciated. 

In particular, I think of the hospital nurses and doctors who come to work every day, listen carefully and show compassion in the middle of this global pandemic. I think of the people who survived the massive forest fires out west and are now rebuilding their homes, businesses and communities in spite of such devastating losses. I think of the teachers and aides who are teaching and tutoring a wide diversity of struggling young students who are trying to figure out how to learn on-line. I think of the nurses and nurse aides in assisted living and long term care facilities who show kindness and attention while maintaining very detailed new protocols to keep everyone safe and healthy. 

The list of quiet heroes is long and extensive. They are making big and small differences in the lives of so many of us. It is time we paused and thanked them for the gift of their hard work, sacrifice, and commitment. They are role models for doing the right thing no matter the challenges.

We can and we will move forward together through this most unique time. Honoring our quiet heroes is an important next step in the journey.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Be Prepared For Winter

Recently, I visited with two members of my Kitchen Table Cabinet and we discussed the challenges of living through a global pandemic. Both are extremely skilled counselors who have many decades of experience working with people and families through very difficult dynamics.

I started out our time together asking about the impact of post-traumatic stress disorder on children, parents and families as this pandemic persists. The older of the two counselors smiled and said, “I think it will be quite high during the coming years but the ‘P’ in PTSD stand for ‘post trauma’ and the challenge right now is that we are not in the post stage. We are in the primary stress disorder stage which is very different than the post-traumatic stage.”

What followed was a discussion about primary stress experiences. I listened carefully. In simple terms, during the primary stage the impact of what is happening is on-going and in-depth. The pandemic is creating this on-going trauma and will be the foundation for PTSD to surface once we enter into a post-pandemic period. 

As they expanded on this, I realized that it will be critical for all of us to create a stress management plan for the upcoming January, February and March time period. In this plan, we need to define what we can do on a daily basis to decrease our stress. This will help us manage the increasing amount of daily stressors due to the pandemic. 

Second, we need to create new winter routines. We must get outside of the house and hopefully get into nature. Walking is a great first step. This is important because as anyone who has lived through a cold and windy midwest winter knows, cabin fever is real and challenging. This winter we could see an epidemic of cabin fever.

Third, we must define what are our priorities so that we do not loose track of them during the busy winter months. Reflecting on this, I am reminded of an old Vermont dairy farmer I met back in the 70’s, who told me his priorities were “God, family and then the farm.” This helped him keep things in perspective when the cow kicked over the bucket of fresh milk or smacked him in the face with a manure covered tail.

Finally, I encourage everyone to make plans to stay in touch with family and friends. While we must maintain physical distance to reduce the transmission of COVID-19, we can not become socially isolated. We all need and deserve loving support during the upcoming holiday season and through out the winter months until spring returns.

So, create your stress management plan during the next two weeks and then work the plan until the first daffodil blooms in the spring. Remember: we can and we will make it through this together.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257

Understand That New Ideas Are Fragile

In conferences rooms around the country or on digital platforms, people are meeting to discuss what needs to get done next year in order to be successful in the midst of this on-going global pandemic and volatile economy. Creative ideas are being presented and explored. People are seeking solutions at the service level and at the systems levels. Words like efficiency, effectiveness and resilience are being used by many around the table or on your flat screen. All involved hope to come up with a strategy that embraces complexity and delivers results.

When I visit with senior leaders before such meetings, I often remind them of two important truths. First, as Edward De Bono wrote many years ago, “You can’t dig a hole in a new place by digging the same hole deeper.” Or put another way, “what got you here won’t get you there.” There are times to preserve the core of a company and there are times to stimulate progress. They key is to understand the difference between what is essential within the company and what is expendable. The challenge is that most leaders think systems and structure are essential and that culture is expendable. They forget that the success of most companies’ business strategy is relationship centric rather than product or system centric. 

Second, I remind these same leaders of Packard’s Law, namely “no company can consistently grow revenues faster than its ability to get enough of the right people to implement that growth with excellence.” While on one hand, this seems like common sense, I have learned after many decades of doing this work that at times common sense is not so common.  

In a time period of continued instability, we need to focus on hiring and retaining the right people at all levels of the company. We then need to clearly state what is excellence and how we as a company expect this to happen at the operational level and at the strategic level. Daily action and on-going strategic choices need to reflect a deep level of clarity about excellence.

For me, excellence in action happens when we have the capacity to do disciplined problem solving which first starts with the ability to define a problem, namely technical, adaptive or crisis. Second, excellence in action requires exceptional teamwork and collaboration, namely the ability of two or more teams of people to function well over time and with complexity. And finally, excellence in action is based on the ability of the company to actively engage in continuous improvement. This is mission critical to success because customer needs are constantly changing. And we need to meet their needs even in the midst of a global pandemic and economic uncertainty.

This week, I encourage you to explore new ideas about how to move forward. I also encourage you to remember that new ideas are fragile. If we are to be successful over the next 2-3 years, we must build the infrastructure to support these new ideas. This is where a shared, mission driven culture and having the right people on your team are going to be critical to your success. Complexity is the new normal, and disciplined people are the key to unlocking potential and capacity.

Geery Howe, M.A. Consultant, Executive Coach, Trainer in Leadership, Strategic Planning and Organizational Change Morning Star Associates 319 - 643 - 2257