Last year, a client of mine was traveling through Iowa and asked if we could meet for breakfast. So, I picked one of my favorite places to eat and asked him meet me there.
When we walked in the door that morning, one of the wait staff came over and warmly greeted me. My client was quite surprised.
“There must be a story behind that,” he commented to me once we sat down.
“Yes,” I replied. “Years ago, my wife and I were dog sitting for a friend. The dog was an experienced therapy dog and very used to being out in public with people. So, we brought the dog here with us one summer morning and ate at an outside table.
On that particular day, many of the staff stopped by to say ‘hi’ to us and to pet the dog. In the process, they shared their experiences with dogs with us. This began a journey of sharing every time we come here.”
We ordered breakfast and the person who greeted us came around with a fresh pot of coffee to refill our cups. I paused in our conversation and thanked him for such good service. My client told him that he was impressed with the service here, too.
Then, our waiter shared about his recent challenges. “I am 40 years old, married, with two elementary aged school children, and I am taking three classes at the community college, working full time and about to transfer to the University.”
My client shared that he went to community college too and then transferred to a University. “It was a good choice,” he commented.
“Good to know”, the waiter responded.
“I know you are doing the best you can with the challenges you have,” I added.
Our combined messages to him that morning were we see you, we hear you, we feel what you are feeling, and we respect you. This is the power and importance of being fully present to another person. I am present to your suffering. I am present to your joy. But most of all, I am present to you, bearing witness to what we both know, namely the importance being committed to living out of truth and respect.
Some days as leaders, we get so wrapped up in busy that we forget that “the most difficult work of leadership involves learning to experience distress without numbing yourself”, notes, Ron Heifetz, and Marty Linsky in their book, Leadership On The Line: Staying Alive through the Dangers of Leading (Harvard Business School Press, 2002). We forget, that “the form doesn't matter” because “any form of service to others is an expression, essentially, of love.” As they continue, “Exercising leadership is a way of giving meaning to your life by contributing to the lives of others. At its best, leadership is a labor of love.”
From my perspective, we are all a part of a great creative journey. We are all walking into the unknown and unpredictable future. We are all vulnerable and stronger than we think.
And on this journey, we can always help each other. We can always act from our compassion. We can remember our oneness.
In the big picture, our real struggle is a spiritual one. Are we humans having spiritual experiences or are we spiritual beings having human experiences? The answer is that we are all called to be faithful. We are all called to reclaim our common humanity. We are all called to build and maintain genuine communities of love, compassion and connections.
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