Executive Presence

Over the years, I have routinely discussed and explored the subject of executive presence. It usually comes up when a senior leader believes that their direct report does not have enough of it and needs to get better at it. As a result, these leaders often focus on the charisma element of executive presence and how the person in question needs to be more self-aware of their appearance, speaking ability, and body language. 

For me, I always find the discussion about executive presence fascinating, because people have such broad and diverse definitions of what it means. Rarely have I found a common consensus on what it is or how to acquire it. However, all involved would agree that certain people have it and others do not. And that more people in leadership positions need to get it in order to be successful. 

Upon reflection, I believe executive presence can start with self-awareness, but it is much greater than this singular choice. Having worked with thousands and thousands of leaders over many decades, I have met leaders with executive presence and those who have gained it over time. I believe there are three key choices that leaders role model when they exhibit executive presence. 

First, they are fully present and attentive to the people they are with at any given time period. On the surface, showing up and being present does not seem like a big thing. But, when you experience a relationship or a moment when someone is fully present and giving you their undivided attention, you realize that this is a powerful choice and a transformative choice. For when they are with you, they are attuned to the connection that is taking place. As Franciscan priest and writer Father Richard Rohr wrote, “Presence is wisdom! People who are fully present know how to see fully, rightly, and truthfully. Presence is the one thing necessary, and in many ways, the hardest thing of all. Just try to keep your heart open, your mind without division or resistance, and your body not somewhere else.” And when this open heart, mind and body are united in being fully present, these individuals “see fully, rightly, and truthfully” which is a great definition of executive presence. 

Second, they engage in making and maintaining connections with a wide diversity of people. Building on this convergence of body, mind and heart, their presence is much greater than what they physically see and do. Instead, it is about how they see things and people. They focus on the wholeness of the people before them and give them their complete attention. This only happens because they have slowed down in order to make meaningful connections rather than transactional connections. 

Furthermore, as part of making and maintaining these connections with a wide diversity of people, they focus on community building. Rather than making all the connections about themselves as a positional leader, they instead focus on making sure people are connected with other people. I have witnessed this over and over when a leader will introduce a person to another person, noting where they have common ground and shared interests. For them, building these networks of relationships is an act of conscious community building, which strengthens the whole of the company and strengthens all involved. With mutual and respectful commonality, they know that all will be transformed over time, and that commonality, community, and connections are the pathway to make this happen. 

Third, they are confident and calm in spite of the challenges before them. This is the hardest choice to role model and also one of the most important choices to role model on a daily basis. I believe this capacity to be confident and calm starts with having   inner clarity, i.e. an understanding of what they believe and an understanding of what are their defaults choices and reactions during stressful and challenging times. This inner clarity then gets role modeled externally by having confidence in their team and others to get things done. They lead from who they are rather than an external ego driven image or perspective. 

Within this deep inner clarity, there is one more element that makes their executive presence so authentic, namely their compassion. The word compassion comes from the Latin word, compati, meaning “to suffer with.” It is an emotional response of empathy and sympathy, and the feeling and desire to want to help. Compassion arises from an open heart. It means showing up and paying attention to what is needed in any given situation. It is reflected in genuinely caring for people as people, not just as employees or team members. It is seeing these same people as whole people with full, diverse and meaningful lives even in the midst of their complex and complicated challenges. In particular, I have seen this compassion often displayed by their kindness and thoughtfulness with others. And their willingness to know how they are doing as a person, more than how are they doing in getting their work done. This combination of inner clarity and compassion plus calmness and confidence makes a major difference in their ability to role model executive presence. 

When all three of these aforementioned choices happen at the same time and place, namely being fully present and attentive to the people they are with at any given time period, making and maintaining connections with a wide diversity of people, and being confident and calm in spite of the challenges before them, people notice, appreciate, and are willing to work with a leader through difficult times and challenging problems. But in the beginning, leaders, who role model executive presence, focus less on what they are going to do and instead focus more on who they want to be during their time as a leader. This subtle but significant shift creates genuine connections with others and results in authentic executive presence. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Two Big Questions

Over the course of the last six months, two big questions have surfaced in my work. The first is “Why are the simple things so complicated right now?”. The second is “Why does the future no longer seem so far away?”. I have reflected deeply on these two questions, I also have visited with others about them as well. Over time, I have gained some perspective and understanding that I want to share with you here today. 

The first question, “Why are the simple things so complicated right now?”, reflects the feeling that life has become very complicated and complex, all at the same time. Before we go any further, we need to understand the difference between these two words, complicated and complex. For example, a car can be a complicated machine. Yet, an expert mechanic can take it a part and reassemble it without changing a thing. The car is static and the outcome is predictable. The whole is the sum of its parts. On the other hand, a Brazilian rainforest is complex. The rainforest is in constant flux and the weather patterns change routinely. Animal species change or can go extinct. Local agriculture can impact it, too. Therefore, the whole is far more than the sum of its parts, and most of what we understand about the rainforest, we understand in retrospect. 

With the above in mind, most people visiting with me default to the word “complicated.” I recognize that they are not discerning a difference between complicated and complex. So, moving forward I will use the word “complicated” with the understanding that I think the first question reflects a convergence of both the complicated and complex. 

Now, I think the basic answer to the first question, “Why are the simple things so complicated right now?”, is because things are no longer simple. While this may be a blinding flash of the obvious, referencing the past work of Tom Peters, I believe this is happening because all of the simple things have turned into adaptive challenges. Ron Heifetz, Alexander Grashow, and Marty Linsky in their book, The Practice of Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World (Harvard Business Press, 2009), define an adaptive challenge as a problem that requires a new perspective, expertise and solution, lest the organization decline. There are four characteristics to this kind of problem. First, defining the problem may require learning. Second, it calls into question fundamental assumptions and beliefs. Third, it can only be addressed through changes in people’s priorities, beliefs, habits, and loyalties. Fourth, it requires new ways of thinking. As a result of dealing with these adaptive challenges, I also believe that many, if not most, leaders are experiencing a high level of decision fatigue, i.e. they are exhausted by the number and magnitude of the decisions that are being brought before them, resulting in routine cognitive overload and a deteriorating level of decision-making. 

Furthermore, when this happens week after week, our days shift into “blursday,” referencing a common term used during the pandemic lockdown. Thus, Monday is no different than a Friday, and Saturday or Sunday are not times of rest and renewal, just another day to be overwhelmed with everything that did not get done during the normal work week. In short, blursday becomes every day and as a result, all the simple things become complicated. 

In the beginning, we must acknowledge that this is a painfully difficult way of living and working. No one wakes up hoping that their day is a blur and that their work life is a burden. No one what’s to be overwhelmed and burned out by life and work. No one wants to feel helpless and hopeless. No one wants to experience cognitive overload. Yet, it happens, and appears to be happening more often than we care to acknowledge at this time period. 

The other element which is making the simple things so complicated is that digital accessibility is omnipresent. As a wise young person pointed out to me,  this level of constant accessibility creates a shadow over all aspects of life and work. Therefore, one must constantly manage the volume of digital inputs and information at any given time. Furthermore, it often increases the scale of complexity and over shadows simplicity. Thus, people in leadership positions have to make a conscious effort to see through this digital shadow in order to find the simplicity within the complexity. 

This wise young person also pointed out to me the importance of discerning the difference of between connectivity and connections. The former does always help make simple things less complicated, because it gives us too much information and too many options or rabbit holes to go and get lost in. The later, on the other hand, requires us to disconnect from the constant digital accessibility, and to experience what is happening now rather than to focus on controlling the now, or being distracted within the now.  

With all of this in mind, the first step to making the simple things less complicated is to acknowledge that they have become complicated. This is not simple or easy to do. To accept what we are experiencing can create a feeling of vulnerability, which is not something that most people care to admit or experience. 

Next, we need to work the adaptive problems before us rather than react to the adaptive problems before us. As part of working the problems, we need to understand that our default reaction to when simple things have become complicated is to respond by separating all the simple things into smaller, more manageable problems. Then, we try and come up with various small solutions. However, I have witnessed on numerous occasions where this choice has resulted in leaders trying to control everything and everyone around them. This rarely results in new or creative solutions, or a general sense of ownership and commitment to work on the adaptive problem or problems. 

While this approach of divide and control may feel productive, it is not a viable solution, because it does not create a structure for an adaptive problem solving process. Instead, we need to step back from our reactive default feelings and choices, and focus on unifying all the elements so we can understand how they are interacting with each other. This means we need to slow down rather than speed up our problem solving so we can better understand and work with the adaptive challenges. Then, we can create the right structure for problem solving, i.e. time frames, decision rules, clear role assignments, etc. 

This also means we need to ask ourselves two important questions as part of the creation of a problem solving structure. First, whose owns these adaptive challenges? Second, who owns the decision rights to solving these adaptive challenges? Too often, we assume that the problem is ours alone to solve and that we have the power to make all of the decisions around a particular problem. However, this is often not the case. Instead, we need to create ownership of the adaptive problems that is larger than just us. Then, we need to engage in a group problem solving process rather than a singular, individual, positional problem solving process. Still, we need to remember that all of this work is going to require us to reset our default choices, and to generate an on-going evolution in our own consciousness or mindset. In short, in order to make the simple things less complicated, leadership needs to become a verb more than a noun, a process more than a conclusion, an experience more than a dogma, a relationship more than just an outcome. 

I agree that the simple things have become more complicated, and that those simple things are mostly adaptive challenges which are causing us to experience cognitive overload and decision fatigue. However, I do not believe it is a terminal situation with no hope in sight. Instead, I see it as a signal that we need to do our own personal work so that we are no longer, unconsciously defaulting to unhealthy patterns of problem solving and overall leadership. 

And this leads me to the second big question, namely “Why does the future no longer seem so far away?”. Upon reflection, I believe this is happening in part because of the conditions surrounding the first question. I also believe it is happening right now, because the pace of change has accelerated to the point that we are just running to keep up with it. There is a term that explains what we are experiencing right now, and it is called The Red Queen Principle, namely we are running faster and faster just to stay in the same place. This is happening in part because of the pace of change and the expectation that we can solve adaptive problems at the speed of software, i.e. connectivity, rather than at the speed of people, i.e. the health of our relationships and connections. 

Now in the beginning when the future feels like it is not longer far away, we, as leaders, must understand that it is normal for leaders to bear the weight of ambiguity and inconsistencies. It is normal that we feel the eternal brokenness within certain systems. While we wish the organization and the teams within it could achieve a state of certitude and order in all things, we would only be kidding ourselves if we thought this was possible on a regular basis. Still, we need to learn, and often relearn, how to trust the process of change. In particular, we need to learn how to trust ourselves and all those involved in the midst of change. And, we need to relearn how to let the change process unfold, to let it happen in it’s own way, time, and pace. 

As part of this learning and relearning journey, we must not confuse knowledge with understanding. We also must not confuse knowledge with a transformation of consciousness. And finally, we must not confuse knowledge with the inner experience of clarity and belonging. All of this is deep internal work that rarely, if ever, happens over night. As part of this level of work, we must remember the insight that Father Richard Rohr shared, namely that “transformed people transform people.” Thus, we must be open to being transformed, not merely to change our mind, but to transform our entire definition of being a leader. This choice is critical to not getting caught in a default mindset that perpetuates dysfunctional patterns of thinking and working. Instead, it creates the capacity to ask important questions and to gain a better and more holistic perspective. It also allows us to let issues and problems ripen until there is adequate urgency to deal with them in a productive and collective manner. 

In the beginning, as always, the first person that needs to change is us, not someone else. We need to role model the mindset and consciousness we wish to see. We also need to role model the values of integrity and respect, compassion and understanding, clarity and commitment. When we proactively do this and consciously do this on an on-going basis, we send an important and powerful message about how to deal with these two important questions. 

As the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu wrote in the the sixth century BC, “Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” And in the end, this ancient piece of wisdom may be the critical framework to answering both of these important questions. For if we want to make the simple things less complicated, and if we want the future to be in the future and not impinging on the current moment, then we must have the courage to watch our thoughts, our words, and our actions. For they are directly connected to our destiny. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

On Becoming A Better Person

Many years ago, Kevin Cashman in his book, Leadership From The Inside Out: Becoming a Leader for Life (Berrett-Koehler, 2008), wrote, “our ability to grow as a leader is based on our ability to grow as a person.”  He continued this line of thought and pointed out that “we lead from who we are - the leader and the person are one…. as the person grows, the leader grows.” I have pondered this insight for a long time, and I agree with him. If you want to become a better leader, you must first become a better person. 

Therefore, as we move farther and farther into 2025, we need to take greater responsibility for our development as people. I believe this development work falls into four areas. First, we must deepen our clarity. Second, we must strengthen our connections. Third, we must broaden our community. Fourth, we must prioritize our commitments. The sum of these four choices will have a profound impact on us as individuals this year and for many years to come. The key is to engage in them, not as a linear action plan, but as a collective choice over time. Then, the results will be synergistic and be cumulative over the course of this year. 

Deepen Our Clarity

In September of 2018, I heard Father Gregory Boyle speak to a large group of people in Des Moines, Iowa. Father Gregory Boyle is the founder and director of Homeboy Industries, the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation, and re-entry program in the world, and was a recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2024. He also is the author of numerous books. 

Father Gregory Boyle believes that “gang violence is about a lethal absence of hope.” He explained to those who gathered that we must recognize that “we belong to each other,” and that “kinship is our goal.” Therefore, we need “to seek kinship underneath” the trauma people have experienced, because “that is what God does.” Underneath the violence and absence of hope, “we need to engage with our own wounds and we need to stand with the wounded.” Recognizing the impact of chronic and toxic stress and a life impacted and defined by trauma, we need to create and maintain “a community of tenderness.”

As I reflected on what he shared that day and how deeply I was moved by his sincerity and clarity, I asked myself two important questions: What do I believe? And how do I role model what I believe? I haven’t come up with a clear and concise description, all wrapped up in a perfect package with a neat little bow. Instead, I have come to understand that my beliefs and perspective on life, including my own self definition, need to be a process of on-going creation. As the poet Mark Nope wrote, “While struggling with the pain of change, it is often impossible to see the new self we are becoming.” And my goal in this new year is to continue becoming my best self, not my perfect self. I seek to be my best self, living my best life. This will be a process of on-going creation and worth the effort every step of the way. 

Strengthen Our Connections

As I engage in this on-going creation and clarity process, I think about something that clinically and spiritually trained, psychotherapist-turned-leadership coach, Karen Joy Hardwick wrote: “We cannot connect with anyone in sustainable, healthy ways unless we connect with ourselves in meaningful, honest ways.” This is such an important truth as we move into this new year. 

I believe that sustainable and healthy connections reflect a trinity of choices. First, I must learn how to connect with my inner life. Second, I must learn how to connect with friends, family of origin when possible, and with my family of choice. Third, I must learn how to connect with that which is greater than my self, i.e. God, the Divine, the Great Mystery, the Transcendent Unknown, or by what ever name you choose to call it. 

But the challenge of these three connections is that when we enter into this trinity of choices, we often have very high expectations. And then we find ourselves deeply hurt and sadden when these expectations are not met. Brene’ Brown reminds us that “Disappointment is unmet expectations, and the more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment.” Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. notes, “We are in relationship with our expectations and not with life itself.” And Stephen Covey wrote years ago, “Frustration in life comes as a result of unmet expectations.” And there we are, disappointed and frustrated, hoping for a connection that will meet our needs. 

Yet recognizing this challenge, I am remind of something Angeles Arrien, Ph.D. shared: “Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome. Openness and non attachment help us recover the human resources of wisdom and objectivity.” And, for me, this is the turning point as I strengthen my three levels of connection, I need to be open to outcomes, not attached to or defined by them. I also need to not control these connections, but, instead, to invest time and energy into all three of these choices. As a wise person shared with me many decades ago, “what you feed, grows.” This year, I need to strengthen these connection and celebrate the outcomes that will happen over time. 

Broaden Our Community

Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive (Jossey-Bass, 2000), wrote about four disciplines to create a successful organization that is smart, i.e. “developing strategies that lead to competitive advantage over rivals,” and healthy, i.e. “eliminating politics and confusion.”  Those four disciplines are the following: build and maintain a cohesive leadership team, create organizational clarity, over-communicate organizational clarity, and reinforce organizational clarity through human systems. 

Having read this book many times, and discussed it with many different leaders, I am always intrigued by his choice to create a cohesive team before creating organizational clarity. Lencioni notes that a cohesive team builds trust, eliminates politics, and increases efficiency. After much reflection, I have come to agree with this choice, especially when we choose to become a better person. 

First, when we have a strong community of people with whom we trust and can feel safe, then we can explore new ideas and perspectives about ourselves, our lives, and our choices to date. Recognizing that we do not think our way into becoming a better person, but actually live our way into this commitment, having a group of people who gather regularly to share, support, listen, and be open to each other at a heart to heart level, not just a thinking and sharing level, is a transformational platform. 

But the key is to continually broaden our community and to grow our community. As Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. reminds us, “Among us the habit of competition and individualism is so ingrained that we seem to have forgotten one of the basic laws of survival: Strength lies in community. But not every culture is as alienated as our own, and, in some, connection and service are simply a way of life.” This choice to build a community of connection and service, love and support, honesty and commitment takes time, but the investment becomes a force multiplier in our journey to becoming a better and more grounded person. 

Prioritize Our Commitments

Years ago, a team and I were sitting around a conference table with the CEO when he asked me the most unusual question: “Geery, are you in like a pig or a chicken?” 

I just looked at him with the most puzzled expression on my face. “I’m sorry,” I replied. “I don’t understand the question. What are you asking me?”

“I am talking about your level of commitment to the team and the process. When a chicken commits, it lays an egg. When a pig commits, it becomes bacon. So, are you a chicken or a pig?”

I pondered this question for a moment before responding. Then, I said, “This is an interesting question and it is the wrong framework for me. The chicken is focused on detached production. The pig’s commitment results in death. I don’t believe that detached production or death is the rallying cry for healthy commitment. I think we need to talk about what is and what does a healthy commitment look like.” And then, the team had a long, in-depth, and productive discussion about what is a healthy commitment.

Many years ago, a mentor of mine told me to watch out for the paradox of success, i.e. where you win at work and lose at home and in life. It was one of those internal light bulbs moments for me, because I was on the cusp of winning at work and losing at home and life. I then had to sit down with myself and determine what is success, and what am I really committed to in the long term. And what I realized was that my life was out of alignment. I had prioritized work over family and yet was deeply committed to my family. It took a great deal of soul searching and reprioritization to get back into alignment. Because what I came to understand was that a healthy commitment is a holistic commitment, where one does not need to sacrifice mind, body, heart, spirit or family in order to be successful. In short, I had to rethink what it meant to be a better person, and that began by prioritizing my commitments. 

A Personal Transformation

“Leaders are formed in leading,” writes Tod Bolsinger. “Leadership formation is a hard and humbling, repetitive process of personal transformation.” And this in-depth process begins when we have the courage to work in four specific areas. First, we must deepen our clarity. Second, we must strengthen our connections. Third, we must broaden our community. Fourth, we must prioritize our commitments. The sum of these actions over time makes a profound difference. 

Still, we must remember the wisdom that the late Irish poet, author, and priest John O’Donohue shared with us many years ago: “Every human person is inevitably involved in two worlds: the world they carry within them and the world that is out there.” The choice to become a better person and the resulting transformation happens on both levels, the internal and the external. The key is to recognize that one is working at both levels and that the work requires persistence, discipline, and patience over time. 

From my experience, this happens best when we have engaged our allies, confidants, coaches, and mentors to help support and guide us when necessary. The strength of this network helps us to generate a variety of short term successes which will ultimately lead to positive forward momentum and personal transformation. As Max De Pree reminds us, “In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining where we are.” Self-change and self-growth are interconnected. They are the beginning of personal transformation. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Today, Somewhere In America

Today, somewhere in America, a farmer is getting up early to milk his cows. He hopes he can keep the farm long enough to pass it on to the next generation.

Today, somewhere in America, a single mom with young kids is working two jobs. She hopes that this month’s bills are not greater than this month’s income. 

Today, somewhere in America, a parent is preparing themselves for the reality of their son or daughter getting deployed overseas. They hope they will come home safe and sound. 

Today, somewhere in America, a family with teenagers is struggling with how to create healthy limits around technology. These parents hope that communication with their emerging adults does not break down in the process.  

Today, somewhere in America, a daughter of aging parents is struggling to figure how tell to tell her parents they should no longer drive. She hopes they understand that her communication about this issue comes from love, not judgement. 

Today, somewhere in America, a mother and father have lost their child to drugs and alcohol. They hope they are doing enough to help, but aren’t sure in the long run. 

Today, somewhere in America, numerous people are waking up to this new day worried, overwhelmed, and feeling broken. All they see is limitations. All they see are challenges. All they see are problems. 

Still, they hope things will get better. They pray that things will get better. They carry in their hearts the dream that things will get better. 

And so they get up in the morning, and carry forth. They move forward with faith, persistence, and integrity. They believe that maybe today is the day when hope will become a reality, when a new beginning will start, when the dream of a more holistic and healthy life for them and the ones they love will happen. 

The poet Mark Nepo grasped the magnitude of this situation and offered us a unique perspective. As he wrote, “Despite all our limitations, the most crucial challenge of being human is to show up like a rose.” 

This quote speaks to me as I start this new year. I want to do more than just show up. I want to show up like a rose. 

I want my inner beauty and dignity to be seen, not judged. I want the voice of my self-worth to be stronger than the voice of my self-critic. I want my inner light and inner strength to shine in the midst of my greatest fears and challenges. I want to see the miracles in each new day, and to experience the sacred within the ordinary. And I want to see the world anew. 

Because today, somewhere in America, a new born is welcomed into the world and a family is celebrating. 

Because today, somewhere in America, a loved one has passed to the other side, and a family is grieving and celebrating a life well lived and a life no longer in pain. 

Because today, somewhere in America, someone has offered a kind and loving hand of support to another person, and changed their day and their life. 

Because today, somewhere in America, someone is grateful to be alive one more day, and to have one more chance to be with their loved ones. 

Because today, somewhere in America, a new day has begun and people are showing up with grit and gratitude in spite of the challenges before them. They are showing up like roses.

As Anais Nin reminds us, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Today, we rise, and we blossom. 

Today, we choose to make the world a better place, one connection at a time. 

Today, we are in awe by all the beauty and grace that surrounds us. 

Today, we are a rose that blooms.

Today, we remember that new beginnings are always possible. 

© Geery Howe 2025

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change