True Change

The Law of the Comfort Zone states that “True change does not occur until you step outside your comfort zone.” At first glance, this seems obvious. At second glance, we have the potential to grasp the magnitude of this statement, and to realize the significance of it’s impact. For when we truly step outside our comfort zone, things can feel unstable, crazy, and chaotic. We also can feel bewildered and stressed, lost and overwhelmed. It all happens in an instant, and then we are stunned by the impact of this action. 

When I taught a year long course on leadership and organizational change for 24 years, I often referenced The Law of the Comfort Zone. I explained that when an individual, team, or an organization left their comfort zone, they needed three elements in place in order to transform chaos into a challenge. Those three elements were the support of a team, a strategic perspective, and a safety zone for strategic dialogue. 

For most leaders, the first two elements made sense and, as a result, they often focused on strengthening their teams and creating a shared, strategic mindset. The third element was sometimes considered to be pretty touchy feely. It was often framed up as something nice, but not critical to success. Furthermore, it was perceived as highly abstract. 

Nevertheless, the best leaders I met spent considerable time, energy, and resources to create a safety zone for dialogue. They recognized that psychological safety generated clarity and commitment for the work of change. They also recognized that we need to have a safety zone outside our comfort zone in order to grow, individually, collectively, and as an organization as a whole.

The act of stepping outside our comfort zone is an act of faith, because we do not fully understand the totality of all that is going to happen once we are outside our comfort zone. It also reflects a commitment to change, because once we step outside our comfort zone we, more likely, will encounter what feels like a danger zone and/or the feeling of total chaos. Thus, the goal of every leader is to be mindful of where are our safety zones in order for the magic of true change to take place. 

But within this act of faith, and our desire to find and/or create safety zones, there is a critical element to success. It is the realization that we do not think our way into a new ways of leading, living, and working. Instead, we live our way into a new ways of thinking, feeling and being. By choosing to create safety zones, we are creating new ways of understanding change, which is the foundation for true change. Nevertheless, without the creation of a safety zone for dialogue and reflection, the outcomes of true change can not be fully manifested. 

When I reflect on all the safety zones I have participated in during my career, I am reminded that they are places where people feel safe to take risks, to speak up, to disagree, and to share concerns without the fear of negative repercussions. And within the best safety zones I have witnessed there is trust amongst the participants. Stephen Covey in his book, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness (Free Press, 2004), reminds us that “trust is the fruit of trustworthiness of both people and organization.” It is a verb and a noun, and that “role modeling inspires trust without expecting it.” 

Brene’ Brown in her book, Dare To Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (Random House, 2018), notes that “We need to trust to be vulnerable and we need to be vulnerable in order to trust.” This is an important point in the generation of trust and in the creation of a safety zone where people will share ideas and perspectives that they value. And as a result of this sharing, they will make themselves and their ideas vulnerable to another person or persons reactions and actions. 

There is something else that increases psychological safety and the creation of effective safety zones. In the beginning, we as leaders need to be very clear about what we are role modeling and what we are tolerating within a safety zone. For example, if we allow someone to blame or shame another, we are creating a level of toxicity within the safety zone that will cripple the important dialogue that needs to take place. Yet, if we actively invite input and clarify why different perspectives matter, we generate trust and safety. 

We also generate something else, namely confidence. For what most leaders do not recognize is that my personal level of confidence impacts my ability to embrace and create true change. First and foremost, this level of personal confidence reflects the depth of my confidence in myself. And this is emotional as much as mental. I have to learn how to trust and respect myself before I can, to any degree, trust and respect my team. It also has direct impact on my confidence in the process that creates the conditions for true change and any plan to execute those changes. 

At the exact same time, we need to remember the feeling of safety, the capacity to step outside one’s comfort zone, and the ability to grow in the process, all happen on different timelines. It is not a linear process where we step outside our comfort zone, enter a safety zone, share our thoughts and feelings, turn chaos into a challenge, all of which generates personal growth and successful organizational change. True change is not an A-B-C or 1-2-3 step process. Instead, it is the sum of multiple, highly dynamic processes, all interacting at multiple levels and in a multitude of different ways. The outcome of which is true change. 

Herminia Ibarra in her book, Act Like A Leader, Think Like A Leader (Harvard Business Review Press, 2015), writes, “This cycle of acting like a leader and then thinking like a leader - of change from the outside in - creates what I call outsight.” She breaks down outsight into three core actions, namely redefining your job, your network, and yourself. Then, she notes something very important: “When challenged to think beyond their functional speciality and to concern themselves with strategic issues to support the overall business, many managers do not immediately grasp that these are also relational - not just analytical - tasks.” 

And for me this is a critical point to true change and stepping outside one’s comfort zone. It also is a critical point to the creation of safety zones. The work on all these levels is more relational than analytical, and as such, it requires us as leaders to connect with people as people more than just connecting with them as a source of ideas.

In sum, we need to build bridges that generate personal trust, compassion, and hope more than just the sharing of some form of strategic, big picture. When we recognize the importance of people to people connections, we create a place that is safe, trusting, inclusive, and expansive. And this is a foundation for true change outside one’s comfort zone. 

© Geery Howe 2024

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Face To Face

Real leadership requires real contact. On the one hand, this seems completely obvious. On the other hand, fewer and fewer leaders are choosing this option. Instead, they are defaulting to management by e-mail as their major form of contact and communication. Therefore, I believe we need to return to more face to face meetings. I also believe we need to create more in-depth and meaningful connections with people before, during and after these meetings. 

Now, I get that this will take a great deal of time and resources to make happen. E-mail is so much easier and quicker. Still, a face to face meeting reflects an investment in the people we count on the most, namely our team. Technology can complement those relationships, but it can not substitute for the connection that takes place during a face to face meeting. Furthermore, this choice to meet people in person sends a message to the team as a whole, and to the people on the team that they matter, that the work they do matters, and that the relationship is important. 

As we recommit to face to face time with our teams, we must come to these meetings with epistemic humility, namely the recognition that someone else’s viewpoint might be useful, helpful, and interesting. Even if we don’t fully agree with them about everything, this level of humility shows others that we care for them, and that we respect them. And it indicates that we can work through our differences to discover common ground and creative solutions. 

I think there is another reason why we need more face to face connections with people at this time period. In a world that is focused on our differences more than our similarities, and in a world that is focused on our pain more than our healing, people in every organization want one simple thing, namely to be seen and to be engaged in meaningful work. They also want to make a difference, and to work in a place where integrity, and respect are lived and experienced each and every day. Thus, our job as leaders is to accept this challenge and to create meaningful work, and a meaningful work environment. 

Now, as leaders, we want to help people “find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life.” However, many people haven’t found that job yet, or have not been supported to transform their job into one that they love. This is where leadership and face to face connections can make a difference. 

First, we can help people to get better at their job. However, most leaders, managers, and supervisors just want people to get the job done. And as a result, starting Sunday afternoon, most employees experience a level of worry and anxiety as they anticipate going back to work on Monday morning. The combination of “just get it done” pressure, and the experience of anxiety and worry that shows up on Sunday does not generate engagement, commitment, or successful outcomes. Instead, it creates distance and disengagement.

Nevertheless, leaders, managers and supervisors can help people get better at their jobs. This begins by helping employees measure their own progress. As Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Truth About Employee Engagement: A Fable About Addressing the Three Root Causes of Job Misery, formerly called The Three Signs of a Miserable Job: A Fable for Managers (and their employees) (Jossey-Bass 2007), writes “Employees need to be able to gauge their progress and level of contribution for themselves.” This simple choice empowers people, and helps motivate them. It gives them the opportunity to improve. 

Second, along with the above, we can help people understand how their job is making the world a better place. Again, referencing the aforementioned book, Lencioni writes, “Human beings need to be needed, and they need to be reminded of this pretty much every day.” As we help people make progress and assist them in doing better in their jobs, we can help them answer these two questions suggested by Lencioni, namely “Who am I helping?” And “How am I helping?”. The answers to these two questions are a force multiplier. 

And yet, from my experience, this all needs to happen in a face to face setting. Neither e-mail or a Zoom meeting can super charge these outcomes. Instead, when it happens in a face to face meeting, the authenticity of the communication and the subsequent action that follows makes the process more relevant and helpful. 

Third, we need to change our leadership paradigm and focus on serving others, more than focusing on ourselves. As James Hunter in his book, The Servant: A Simple Story About the True Essence of Leadership (Crown Business, 1998), wrote many years ago: “Leadership is about getting things done through people. When working with and getting things done through people, there will always be two dynamics involved - the task and the relationship…. The key to leadership is accomplishing the tasks at hand while building relationships.” He continues, “Leaders should identify and meet the needs of their people, serve them. I did not say that they should identify and meet the wants of their people, be slaves to them. Slaves do what others want, servants do what others need. There is a world of difference between meeting wants and meeting needs.” 

James Autry in his book, The Servant Leader: How to Build a Creative Team, Develop Great Morale, and Improve Bottom-Line Performance (Prima Publishing, 2001), picks up on this theme when he wrote: “Leadership is not about controlling people; it’s about caring for people and being a useful resource for people…. Leadership is not about being boss; it’s about being present for people and building a community at work.” He continues exploring the role of serving others, noting “Leadership is … about letting go of ego, bringing your spirit to work, being your best and most authentic self.” He expands on this theme by explaining that “Leadership is less concerned with pep talks and more concerned with creating a place in which people can do good work, can find meaning in their work, and can bring their spirits to work.”

Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities (Wiley, 2020), writes, “At the most fundamental level, there are only two motives that drive people to become a leader. First, they want to serve others, to do whatever is necessary to bring about something good for the people they serve…. The second basic reason why people choose to be a leader - the all-too-common but invalid one - is that why want to be rewarded. They see leadership as the prize of years of hard work and are drawn by its trappings: attention, status, power, money.” Lencioni calls these two forms of leadership “responsibility-centered leadership” and “reward-centered leadership.” As he explains, “I believe it’s long past time that we, as individuals and as a society, reestablish the standard that leadership can never be about the leader more than the led.… leadership is meant to be joyfully difficult and selfless responsibility.” When the leadership paradigm focuses on serving others more than serving ourselves, we create capacity in the organization to rise to adaptive challenges and a diverse collection of difficult technical problems. 

Fourth, we need to remember that successful organizational change does not proceed by contraction, but by expansion. It moves forward, not by exclusion, but by inclusion. And meeting people face to face can be an expanding and inclusive experience for all involved. 

Yet, to make a face to face meeting an expansive and inclusive experience, we as leaders must learn to “keep vigil and listen.” This phrase has its roots in the world of faith, and it is deeply applicable at this time period. When we choose to keep vigil and listen as leaders, we are choosing to enter face to face meetings from a place of commitment to the time and place, i.e. we are willing to be 100% present to the moment, and we are willing to engage in active listening during the time we are together, i.e. no distractions and no interruptions. This is a powerful and important choice, because it signals to all involved, you matter and this matters. And that is a rarity in the world of business that is trying to move at the speed of software rather than at the speed of relationships. 

Yet, to achieve an on-going expansive and inclusive experience, we need to remember that meeting people face to face comes with one challenge, namely we are not always sure of what is going to happen during the meeting. During a face to face meeting, we can experience a “cloud of unknowing,” referencing a 14th century metaphor. We think we know what is going to happen, but people are people and they will always surprise us when we least expect. 

Therefore, during these crucial connections, we need to be careful that we do not activate our default mental maps as leaders. Over the years, I have learned that at the core of every face to face meeting, people want three things. First, they want to be liked as in popular. Second, they want to be correct as in certainty. Third, they want to be secure as in invulnerable to challenges at any level. Once those three are happening, most leaders are happy with the face to face connection. 

However, in the world of leadership, organizational change, and continuous improvement, being liked, correct, and secure is not always possible. Many times, leaders need to question status quo, be that in structure and strategy, or systems and culture. We also need to hold people accountable to outcomes and behaviors, plus tasks and relationships. This makes everything complicated and complex. 

Many years ago, Harvard’s Ron Heifetz was interviewed by William Taylor in an article called “The Leader of the Future” in the June 1999 issue of Fast Company magazine. As Heifetz pointed out, “Mustering the courage to interrogate reality is a central function of a leader. And that requires the courage to face three realities at once. First, what values do we stand for -- and are there gaps between those values and how we actually behave? Second, what are the skills and talents of our company -- and are there gaps between those resources and what the market demands? Third, what opportunities does the future hold -- and are there gaps between those opportunities and our ability to capitalize on them?” He then explains that “Leaders don't answer those questions themselves. That's the old definition of leadership: The leader has the answers -- the vision -- and everything else is a sales job to persuade people to sign up for it. Leaders certainly provide direction. But that often means posing well-structured questions, rather than offering definitive answers. Imagine the differences in behavior between leaders who operate with the idea that "leadership means influencing the organization to follow the leader's vision" and those who operate with the idea that "leadership means influencing the organization to face its problems and to live into its opportunities." That second idea -- mobilizing people to tackle tough challenges -- is what defines the new job of the leader.”

From my perspective, the “courage to interrogate reality” and to pose “well-structured questions, rather than offering definitive answers” is best done in person. When people gather to explore the questions and to collectively listen and determine the answers together, they will then mobilize and tackle the tough challenges before them, be they technical or adaptive. Furthermore, the interpersonal connections that happen when people are face to face deepens both awareness and understanding, generating a level of shared thinking and shared commitment to collaborative action. Again, I recognize that this level of work can take significant time and resources. Yet, the resulting connections that happen over time generate capacity, i.e. better planning and better execution, which is what every leader, manager and supervisor wants at both the strategic and operational levels within an organization. 

Face to face meetings in a post pandemic world require a commitment to creating relationships and maintaining relationships. They are an investment in time, energy, and resources. But the short and long term return on these investments is significant. Because, in the end, the best leaders know that people commit to people before they will ever commit to the execution of a plan. And right now, we need more committed and engaged people if we are going to weather the current storms and pending challenges of the coming new year. As my late father always said, “Be prepared; then you don’t have to worry as much.” Now is the time to build healthy relationships so you can thrive in the midst of market uncertainty and complex strategic choices. 

© Geery Howe 2024

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Building A Better Organizational Culture

Over the years, I have written extensively about the interconnectivity of organizational history, culture, and meaningful work within successful organizations. In particular, I have pointed out how excellence, culture, and strategy impact execution. I have noted the role of cultural clarity and the concept of alignment plus the power of meta-messages in building culture. I also have explained the importance of accountability in building culture, and have even explored the subject of how organizational culture becomes real at the team level. 

Today, I want to explore one element of building a better culture, namely personal transformation. In particular, I have been reflecting deeply on something that Franciscan priest and writer, Father Richard Rohr wrote: “Transformed people transform people.” On the surface, this seems elementary. Beneath the surface, there is great depth in such a short and powerful sentence. 

Most people, especially ones in leadership positions, focus on the later part of this single sentence. They want to “transform people.” They want people to change, and to generate more and/or better outcomes. They define this as the pathway to building a better culture in their organization.

From my perspective, few people want to focus on the first two words of this sentence, namely being a “transformed” person. I think this happens because most people believe they are just fine as they are. They believe that they have it all figured out. They believe that the only problem in their life is that others have not changed enough to accommodate their clarity. From their perspective, they believe they already have transformed and now everyone else needs to catch up. 

Still, if the goal is to build a better culture, then transformation is a two way street. And the first step is being open to personal transformation. This is a choice that take courage, fortitude, and commitment. It is not an overnight process. 

One element of this choice is to stop trying to change other people and their ways of thinking before having done our own personal, internal work. Instead, we need to be open to changing our ideas and most important our perspective. Not that everything needs to be abandoned in our life and work as part of this process, but certain ideas and perspectives need to be routinely re-evaluated to make sure we are not missing critical information or telling ourselves a story, for lack of a better term, that is not true or accurate. As executive coach, author and founder of The Restoration Project, Lindsay Leahy in her book, Take It All Apart: How to Live, Lead, and Work with Intention (River Grove Books, 2024), writes: “Discovering and then releasing what no longer serves us is a critical part of our personal evolution as a human and a leader that we typically avoid or skip. We like to jump straight to dreaming and doing more, likely because letting go can be painful. When we succumb to the temptation of skipping this part or moving through it too quickly, we find ourselves unsettled, frustrated, anxious, and eventually back at the base of the mountain, having taken the wrong path . . . again.”

This in-depth work of personal transformation requires us to do three things. First, we need time and space for reflection. Second, we need quality resources like the aforementioned book to help us to create new insights. Third, we need people who will support us in this work. They can be allies, confidents, executive coaches, or mentors. These are the people who will be present as we think out loud, reflect deeply, and move through the normal, and sometimes painful steps of personal transformation. 

When these three elements are present, transformation can begin. And, in time, building a better culture will also take place. As Tod Bolsinger reminds us, “Leaders are formed in leading. Leadership formation is a hard and humbling, repetitive process of personal transformation.” This week, I encourage you to do the hard, humbling, and repetitive work of personal transformation. It will make a difference in your life at work and at home. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Ten Ways To Be A Better Coach - Part # 10

Be Clear About What Matters Most

In the end, coaching people is all about making choices. We need to actively engage in coaching, but also in supervision and regular check-ins. We need to understand that during coaching there are moments when we need to teach people new skills or provide them with new information. Other times, we need to focus on helping them change their mindset about what is happening. 

During coaching, we also need to create common ground plus be very mindful of how we are role modeling integrity and respect. We need to build on people’s strengths more than correct their weaknesses. Next, we need to find someone to coach us so we can get better at what we do, plus spend time doing our own homework. 

Finally, we need to remember something that we tend to forget in our rush to coach people. As Jungian psychoanalyst, James Hollis, Ph.D wrote, “No matter how well intended we begin, sooner or later we all spend good portions of this journey stumbling through savannas of suffering, where in we nonetheless find tasks that, when addressed - even in those dismal, diminishing circumstances - enlarge us. Going through suffering, rather than denying or anesthetizing it, knowing that if we hang in there, it will bring us choices that can either enlarge us or diminish us, and that when we are least in control, we still retain the freedom of choosing what matters to us.” 

Suffering during life’s journey is normal and difficult. We can deny this fact or we can hang in there with each other during the difficult times. We will, and we must make choices during these hard times. Some of these choices have the potential to enlarge our perspective on life, and some of the choices could diminish our possibilities. And at these critical junctures, we must be clear about what matters most. 

The role of the coach is to assist people as they navigate life’s journey. It also is to help them not feel abandoned during the process. The word “coach” has it’s roots in an old French word meaning a vehicle to transport people from one place to another place. Through all of the questions, analysis, action planning and follow through that comes with coaching, we, as coaches, can not solve all the problems and challenges before people. But we can be present in the midst of their difficulties and remind them of what matters most. We can help them be their best selves and help them to find and live their best lives. In short, we can share our wisdom, offer our compassion, and be a positive presence. These are the important choices we can make as a coach, and is the pathway to becoming a better coach over time. 

© Geery Howe 2024

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Ten Ways To Be A Better Coach - Part # 9

Ask Better Questions

When it comes to the actual moment for coaching, I am often reminded of something that Kevin Cashman wrote in his book, Awakening the Leader Within: A Story of Transformation (John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 2003). As he noted, “Recognize that stories are the language of leadership and questions are the language of coaching.” I think most people grasp this point, but don’t know how to translate it into actual coaching. 

Over the course of my career, I have been invited into many companies by the CEO to coach their direct reports. Often, these leaders want to sit in on the first session. Time and time again, when this has happened and we are debriefing at the end of the day, the CEO will say to me, “All you did is ask questions. I rarely do that. Instead, I focus on fixing their problems. How do you come up with the questions?”

My response often surprises many leaders. First, I tell them that I am genuinely curious and that I know how to be “uncharacteristically quiet.” Hal Gregersen in his article, “Bursting the CEO Bubble: Why Executives Should Talk Less and Ask More Questions” in the March - April 2017 issue of the Harvard Business Review, writes “.. to increase your chances of encountering novel ideas and information and discerning weak signals: be quiet.” He notes that this is not normal leader behavior. Normally we are in send mode, broadcasting information in all directions. We want to answer the question rather than ask the question. We want to inspire people rather than be inspired by people. We even want to explain things to people rather than listen to explanations. Therefore, being quiet as a leader is to switch into receiving mode. Gregersen explains that we need to “Ask questions. Don’t tell,” and to use “the power of the pause” by learning not to fill the space with comments.

Second, I ask questions during coaching so I can understand more about what the person is thinking. And I do this, because I recognize that there is always more to the story or situation we are discussing than what is initially presented. Furthermore, the more complete answer to my questions often illuminates a problem, be it a knowledge deficit or a connection deficit. 

Third, I am very aware that asking questions only works well if we have two things in place. First, we need to have a relationship built on trust. And in this area, I need to role model being trust worthy. Second, there needs to be an understanding of why coaching is taking place, i.e. purpose, and there needs to be a foundation of common language.  When both elements are in place, then the questions are not framed as judgement or attack, but instead as a place where we can share in order that I can help them get better in their professional work. 

In the end, asking questions is important. However, one must be genuinely interested in the person and the answer for the coaching process to be successful. I remember one time working with a client where coaching was not going well. I asked the client if they were using a coaching framework as part of the process. She opened her desk drawer and showed me a piece of paper with a list of questions. “I am suppose to ask these questions in this particular order during each coaching session and to keep a record of their responses.”

“Interesting,” I responded. “Where did the questions come from?”

“From the national office, HR in particular.”

“Why do you think they want you to ask these questions?” I inquired. 

“I have no idea,” she replied. “I wish I did know. Then, I could adapt the questions to the desired outcome. But now, I just have the questions.”

“And that is the problem,” I pointed. “You have the what and the how, but not the why. The questions are pretty good, but just asking questions is not the goal. The goal is help people to get better at their jobs. Academically, coaching is defined as ‘a structured dialogue and development process to improve the professional competence.’ The difficulty here is that you don’t know why the questions are the right questions and you don’t have a picture in your mind of what ‘professional competence’ looks like. So, what questions do you want to ask?”

What followed was an in-depth discussion of professional competence at the strategic and operational levels. What also followed was a productive discussion about the connection between the picture she had in mind of competence and the suggested questions from the national office. Over time, this level of clarity resulted in effective coaching and an increase in the quality outcomes. 

Asking questions is important. But having clarity of purpose about why we need to ask questions during coaching, plus choosing to be curious, respectfully quiet, and creating a safe and trusting coaching environment made a major difference in the generation of short and long term success.

To be continued on Thursday. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change

Ten Ways To Be A Better Coach - Part # 8

Do Your Homework

Along with getting regular coaching, exceptional coaches do something else. They study the classics and the new research in their area of expertise. They focus on improving themselves and their understanding of the industry. I like to think of this as doing their own homework. 

One element of this in-depth work is that they have a beginners mindset. They know enough to know that they do not fully understand what it is happening. Therefore, they are committed to life-long learning, no matter their skill set or expertise.

I remember once working with a very experienced and highly competent CEO who was dedicated to their company and the work of their industry. One day, he stopped by to visit with people during a session of the company’s annual leadership institute that I was teaching. As the group and I discussed the normal stages of organizational change and the challenging role of leadership during these different stages, he sat back in his chair and listened carefully and thoughtfully. While he could have facilitated this discussion and more likely have given my lecture, his sole goal during this session was to see the company through the eyes of these high potential students. In particular, he wanted to know what they knew more than what he thought. 

Later that afternoon, after class had been dismissed, the two of us sat in his office and discussed what people had shared. He was fascinated by the difference in generational perspectives around the table, and in particular, the role the internet played in their learning and communication. While he was a man of books and magazine articles, he realized that his youngest, high potential people focused on blogs and podcasts more than traditional resources like books, magazines, and newspapers. With this new perspective in mind, he began a process of reading more blogs and listening to more podcasts, all recommended to him by younger people.

For me, this choice reflects his commitment to think better strategically and operationally, and to be open to learning from multiple sources. He was doing his homework and continuing to deepen and broaden his understanding of himself, his work, and the world around him. And as a result, he was a better coach with people of all ages. 

To be continued on Wednesday. 

Geery Howe, M.A. Executive Coach in Leadership, Strategic Planning, and Organizational Change